Yay for Lemmy being a lightweight and being relatively easy to control.

Lemmy and I were grounded for the third time this year. This was because our not-father had kidnapped the princess three times, and we had failed to defend the various worlds from the red and green plumbers three times. The first time, I thought my laughter and my pet chain chomp would scare him off. Obviously they did not. After all, he had fought ghosts, worked with ghosts and even nearly killed our not-father countless times, so why would he be afraid of some thirteen-year-old kid's maniacal giggling? Unfortunately for me, he had brought along his brother and a pair of Toads, with blue and yellow caps. They did not appear threatening at all. One of them even spent most of the time fighting me in a bubble, protecting him from getting hit, but he was also unable to attack. Eventually the brother in green got a bit bothered by the blue toad's 'bubbling' and yelled at him to come down and fight. He did, but I saw him as an easy target since the 'shroom was not as agile as the yellow one, nor was he as resilient as the Mario Bros. As I predicted where he would land after jumping, my fireball hit him squarely in the face and he died, only to come back several seconds later in a bubble.

The blue toad leisurely floated over my head, drinking juice that he seemed to have pulled out of nowhere. The brother in green attempted to jump onto my head, but missed completely and sailed into the blue toad. His bubble popped, and the little juice-drinking mushroom landed on my head. Annoyed at him, I knocked him out and he returned to his bubble. Eventually, I was defeated by the trio, and an accident.

Lemmy got the ice world again. Fortunately for him, he was pretty resistant to the cold despite his diminutive size.

"Hey!" Lemmy yelled at me upon hearing that. "I'm not small, I'm fun-sized. You can't balance on my ball because your centre of gravity is too high and you'll fall over!"

"Exactly," I replied. "That's why I leave the balancing work to you."

Where was I? Ah yes, Lemmy was (and still is) resistant to the cold, so he always gets the ice worlds except for the most recent capture, because our bratty sister Wendy wanted it. He loves penguins anyway.

The second time... I have no clue about what happened the second time, so I shall not say anything about it.

The third time, which we were getting grounded for, was pretty similar to the first, except our not-father decided that we would not hide in a cake. Lemmy's scepter was temporarily disabled after losing a practice magic battle with Ludwig, so he opted for bombs instead. I decided to give my pet chain chomp a break and bothered Mario with pipes instead. He was not fazed by the new obstacles that we had created, ploughing through them as if they were tasteless pasta.

Being grounded meant that we were not allowed to leave our room except to go the bathroom and to eat. In fact, our not-father used to ground all of us Koopalings, except that it had now been reduced to just the two of us and Larry. His explanation was that he needed Ludwig to be in charge of the army, Roy to keep the army in check, and he would never hear the end of it if he grounded Morton and Wendy. It actually did not affect the two of us much, since we spend most of our free time in our room or in the lab, which is connected to our bedroom. Larry hated it though. He wanted to go out and play tennis, but he was unable to do so because of the punishment. From what he told us, it would seem that he spent most of his time playing with his piranha plants. He said that their fireballs made great tennis balls, and they did not scorch his racket as he had had it specially fireproofed.

I recall that when Cackletta took over our castle and we mistakenly helped her thinking she was King Bowser, Larry tried to fight the Mario Bros. by forcing them to play tennis with their hammers. After that, he had to buy a new racket because the old one was so burnt that I could not even tell what its original colour was.

Suddenly, Lemmy got a flash of inspiration and called me over.

"Iggy, remember that book called 'Matilda'?" Lemmy asked.

"Yes I do, why?" I only remembered that book because our chatty ten-year-old brother Morton had gone on and on about it over a two-day period, telling the whole family about how she disliked her father so she played pranks/got revenge on him by gluing his hat to his head and dying his hair blonde and how she caused the bullying headmistress to faint through the power of her eyes. When he asked what we had learnt from the story, Lemmy and I simultaneously yelled, "Prank people you don't like!"

"Let's prank our not-father with a whoopee cushion and some falling cushions!"

"They won't hurt, Lemmy."

"They aren't supposed to... Unless the pillows are stuffed with metal."

"Nah, we'll get another week in the dungeon if we give him another concussion."

"Awww, you're no fun..."

... ... ... ... ... ...

We waited eagerly for dinnertime. Sneaking out of our room to rig the ceiling and our not-father's seat had been unbelievably easy despite numerous guards knowing that we were being grounded. Some of them closed one eye to this sort of thing, some were sleeping and the others knew that giving chase would probably end up causing a mess.

Our not-father walked into the dining hall. Ludwig glared at us for giggling and we tried to stifle our laughter. However, our not-father still noticed and roared, "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"

We remained silent. Then when he sat down, a farting sound was heard. All our siblings began snickering with the exception of Ludwig, who simply shook his head and sighed.

"Your Smellyness, look up," Ludwig instructed. He must have noticed the hole in the ceiling. Since he was going to take over as an advisor and magician from Kamek sometime, he had gone and decided to call King Bowser in the same fashion that he had heard Kamek do so. The only difference was that he tended to be a bit ruder with his names.

King Bowser yelled as a heap of cushions landed on him. We had taken them from the couch, the playroom, the thrones, a couple from our room, a couple from Wendy's room (shh don't tell her), and a few from our not-father's very own room.

"OKAY, WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?" King Bowser hollered.

"Don't yell, Your Loudness. It's bad for your throat."

"YOU SOUND LIKE KAMEK!"

"Well, maybe I am Kamek."

There was a poof of smoke, and Kamek was sitting right where Ludwig had been a few seconds ago.

Our not-father was really getting irritated, so he got up and stomped over to us. Lemmy and I bolted from our seats, wanting our father to give chase. We ran and ran, and eventually got stuck at a dead end. Then we were scolded.

"YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DAMAGE YOU COULD HAVE DONE? ... CONCUSSIONS, MEDICAL FEES... POTATOES... WINE... IMMATURE IDIOTS... ACT YOUR AGE..." King Bowser shouting was kind of scary, even though we had lived through it dozens of times. However, we had a couple of tricks up our metaphorical sleeves. I managed to throw a small boomerang without our not-father noticing (he was too busy ranting) and I shifted slightly so that it would hit him on its way back.

I had to hope that he would not move...

... ... ... ... ... ...

The scream of our not-father was heard for miles in Dark Land.

Yay for horrid endings.

Anyone who can guess what the title and the, "Potatoes... Wine" part is about gets an internet cookie.
Hint: It's not Mario-related, but it is from a Japanese video game.
I'll tell you the answer in two chapters if no one gets it.