Throughout his life, Daryl always felt he was moving; some days faster than others, but he was always pushing himself forward. But now, just for a moment, the world froze. Beth stood just across the road from him, her golden hair in a braid, a green dress clinging to her tiny frame, and the small girl giggling at her waist. Their faces were almost identical, the same green eyes, pale and smooth features, pointed chin, but the girl's cheekbones were higher and her hair darker and more curled, similar to how Daryl's mother's hair had once been.
Everything in him wanted to move toward Beth, but an unfamiliar emotion took hold of his body. Fear shot into his every limb as his mind solidified the connections. That girl. Beth. What had he missed? He could have been here years ago if he had suspected Beth was alive. Yet he wandered around the Southeast feeling bad for himself? Beth would never forgive him. Beth should never forgive him.
Daryl tried desperately to read the bewildered look on Beth's face, yearning for the reassurance she once offered him. The watching crowd seemed to pause as well, either making their own connections or simply trying to be polite. But Ella ignored the social cues, looking up to her mother and whining, "Mama, you know him? He can have a picnic too. I'm sooo hungry."
A few in the crowd laughed and Beth finally inhaled a sharp breath, holding in the air and inflating her chest.
"Daryl? Daryl, is that you?" A deep voice questioned, pulling Daryl's attention away from Beth to boy approaching from the center of town. But Daryl could no longer call him a boy; Carl now much more closely resembled a man. He towered above Beth, his shoulders broad and face covered in a light stubble resembling his father's. But he kept the same look in his eyes; a mixture of determination and anticipation, likely nurtured by the apparent safety of his new community.
Daryl felt a strong relief but couldn't find the appropriate words to respond, and fortunately Carl didn't wait. He quietly moved toward Beth and whispered something in her ear that caused her to nod her head slowly.
"El, let's go have your picnic with Judi." He suggested with a forced lightness, once again throwing Daryl off with the tone of his voice.
Finally, Ella seemed to realize her mother's unusual reaction and burst into tears, reaching toward Beth as Carl picked her up off the ground and began to walk away. "MAMA!" She screamed for attention but Beth just looked to Carl and shook her head decisively, allowing the little girl to be carried away in tears. Carl only took one more look over his shoulder at Daryl, his eyes full of disbelief, before turning a corner into what looked like a residential part of town.
Suddenly every daydream he had imagined about seeing Beth again went out the window, he was starting from square one. The pair stood in silence for another minute before Daryl looked back to the group still standing awkwardly on the sidelines. "There somewhere we can talk?" He suggested uncomfortably, unsure he could handle their reunion when surrounded by so many eyes.
"Yeah… I have a place we can go." Beth stuttered over her own words. Daryl was taken aback by the change in her voice. She had always spoken to him with confidence, now she sounded like a scared 16-year-old back on her family's farm.
They walked to the nearby doctor's office in almost complete silence. Beth tried to create small talk, taking a moment to explain that she worked there as an aide to the only physician in town but the explanation sounded forced and she eventually gave up halfway through a sentence. Both she and Daryl were wholly aware of the pairs of eyes still following them as they walked down the street and that made it difficult to even approach the emotions overwhelming their minds.
But the moment they stepped inside the dark office and the deadbolt clicked behind them, their lips collided. A burst of heat erupted between them and a familiar excitement filled their chests. Daryl's hands found their customary spot in the small of her back, appreciating the dimples at the base of her spine he had dreamt of so many nights before sliding his hands lower. Before he realized it, one of her hands had slipped under his vest and the other found its way to his hair, desperately pulling him closer. But almost as quickly as it started, the realization of what he had just seen hit Daryl, and he forced himself to take a step back.
"Who was that?" He asked breathlessly, touching his forehead to hers and squeezing his eyes shut, as if afraid to hear the answer.
"It's obvious… ain't it?" Beth guessed, moving her head back so she could see his face. Daryl watched her hands twitch, clearly wanting to touch him again, but she refrained, causing disappointment to flood his chest.
"Just say it." Daryl pleaded. He was ashamed of desperation in his voice, but he had to know. He had to have answers.
Beth remained silent and Daryl frowned. This answer should be easy but Beth's eyes were full of an emotion he couldn't place. Guilt? Panic? Anxiety?
"Say it." He prompted again, forcing himself to breathe in, in an attempt to show Beth he was okay, that he could handle the news.
"My daughter. Ella." Beth sighed, looking down to her shoes for a moment before reestablishing eye contact. "Your daughter."
The words hit Daryl hard. Even though he knew they were coming, hearing the phrase aloud was a whole new realization and he briefly considered grabbing the wall for balance.
"How old? How long has it been?" Daryl asked, knowing he hadn't kept good track of time over the last few years; he hadn't felt there was any need to.
"She's five years old. Her birthday was last month. July 31st."
Daryl nodded, trying to solidify that date to his memory. It was an important date; he should never have to ask again.
Beth moved tentatively onto his other question. "We were… you…" Beth paused again to consider her words, "We were separated almost six years ago."
Daryl continued to compile possible questions in his mind, pacing back and forth, before realizing there was really only one question he needed answered right away. "How is she? Is she okay?"
Beth cracked a smile in response. Suddenly her body language relaxed, her face looked comfortable. She looked like a mother. "She's good… she's amazing really. Full of trouble of course. I've always blamed you for that." Beth had meant the joke lightly but Daryl winced at the delivery. Genetics or otherwise, it probably was his fault.
"I'm sorry." Daryl apologized immediately, rubbing his face roughly before rushing his hands through his hair. The guilt filled his chest and he felt a sudden urge to curse or hit the wall, but he did his best to keep his face steady as Beth watched him nervously. He had always sworn, if he ever had children (a possibility that seemed preposterous until Beth), he would not turn into his father. But now he felt like in some ways he had: he hadn't been there.