A night-creature girl slinks through the dark sidewalks of Seattle. She's alone and she doesn't care, her posture is straight and without fear. This is her element.

I got a ride down here from one of my faceless lunch buddies, but abandoned her once she became sufficiently engrossed in twenty-five inch heels. Night-creatures are not meant to be trapped in huge bright color/metallic department stores, all artificial lights and pop music and the smell of fat people.

I'm trying to find the bookstore. I was in such a rush to breathe dark air that I didn't stop to ask a store attendant directions, and they were all smoking pot in the back anyway. I'd been here before, some past summer, so I know it's somewhere around here, but not sure where. My feet wander through quiet city streets while my head flies among blind carrion birds.

Sometimes I think I should just peel off my clothes and fly away like a little awkward ugly duckling turned swan. But then I'd come out of the moonlight and eat rotting dead bodies and everyone would see I'm not a white swan actually, just a ratty-winged black crow.

My night creature ears here someone coming behind me, quiet footsteps. It's two, maybe three people, and little-girl-prey inside me tightens up in irrational fear. My white fists hang rigid at my sides and my eyes stare straight ahead. I count my steps inside my mind and they're all I can think of.

I pass a gas station, and the steps behind me quicken. I turn, glancing behind, tips of my bangs grazing across my cheek and the razor edges slice into my skin, but I have no blood inside my withered/scared/white/helpless body so I don't bleed.

Behind me are two men. They seem to be in their twenties or early thirties, smiling, with the cold bitter smell of predators. They say something, murmuring, whispering, but my ears are frostbitten and dead and dropped off. I turn and run and suddenly I'm not a night-creature, I'm not a withdrawn and ethereal being, I'm a very real girl with bulky long limbs and brown hair that flies in her face and muscles that burn and lungs that give out big angry pants and a heart that explodes leaving droplets of blood splattered all over the city.

I can't run because when I'm in girl-mode, I'm stuck in this body which has limitations pulling me to the pavement, and they're catching up and I'm not strong and THEY ARE IN CONTROL.

I see an alley, sprint into it, see two more men and almost run into a large, muscled chest. The owner grips my wrists and pulls me tight into a choking grip. The other men circle around him and they're saying scary things and I scream inside because I'm really more innocent than I think I am.

"Don't worry, sexy, you're going to have fun," my captor murmurs at me, touching my hair. I want to burn it all off and I cringe back. "Come on, don't do that." He yanks my shirt up and presses me against the wall, covering my mouth with his own when I try to scream and I want to puke. He's touching my body with both hands and the other men are touching me too and I twist around RUN RUN RUN.

My knee goes up and lashes out, he yelps and jerks back in pain. With my hands freed, I claw at his eyes. He cries out because now I'm on him and now I'm hurting him and I can't stop because adrenaline/fear is still coursing through my veins, controlling me. Someone else yanks me back, holds my arms behind me, and I continue to kick and jerk my body. I'm not feeling anything because I'm not really there. I'm still up with the crows that no one sees because they blend in so well with the black sky.

Then a black car turns into the alley, speeding, almost hitting one of the men. Cullen My Lab Partner jumps out.

My eyes can't comprehend why the hell he'd be here, so I just stand there, a stuffed scarecrow with button eyes and no shirt and my jeans yanked down a little. He punches the door open--it comes off the hinges--and in a blur of motion throws the man who was just holding me against the wall.

I hear a sort of crack and

there's pain/screaming

I'm against the wall now watching the horror movie but where's my $7.95 buttered popcorn and Raisinets

Cullen's black eyes and gritted teeth I can't believe it this is bullshit this isn't real

there is blood on the black jacket that lays at my feet

"Get in the car."

someone's alive and moaning and crying

"Bella! Get in the car! We need to leave now!"

this is not quiet silence night-creature world, this is scary red and blood and scream world and the little night-creature girl is burning her eyes out by staring at the red sun too long

"We have to go! The blood--I can't--We'll call the police afterwards but I can't stay here. Come on, Bella, please!"

night-creature girl is led by puppet strings to the shotgun seat where she curls up and goes to sleep and finds out it was all a dream

"Bella! Talk to me. Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?" A sweater is put in my lap and I realize I have no shirt on; I'm shivering in just my bra. Someone pulls it over my head and gently touches my skin to guide my arm in the sleeve, and I shiver away from the cold touch.

night-creature girl tries to wake up and be strong because nothing happened, she doesn't care, she's just fine

"N-no." I force the word out and pinch my lip with my teeth for the stutter. Why can't I be strong? "I'm fine." I'm staring straight ahead and he's driving now, world whipping by, away from the carnage behind us and the scary monster-men and the scary monster-creature in the seat next to me.

He grits his teeth and I can hear it like it's my chicken bones between his black fox jaws. I pull my skinny arms back through the sleeves and fold them across my rib cage, encased in the large green sweater. I feel so helpless and I hate it. My body is helpless and my mind is helpless and what else is there for me to rely on to name Me.

"What happened there?" Cullen is also staring straight ahead, and he is trembling. I saw what he is, how could I not have? And little girl-human wants to run away and hates him because of it. "I was walking. I was lost. They started chasing me and trapped me." And then the prince came and I got away and lived happily ever after except the prince happens to be a vampire and a monster.

He looks at me, and makes a forced smile. "Only you would encounter a group of rapists in Seattle."

I refuse to meet his eyes, but force out the words I have to say according to etiquette. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Now he is sneering, all his prior uncontrolled fury dissipated into a mocking calm. "That's the second time I have saved your life. Can't you humans take care of yourselves once in a while?"

I jerk up, puppet master yanks my chin up and says I have to act angry even though I'm still in shock. "Can you stop being so condescending to me? I don't care a shit whether you're a vampire or--"

He slams on the brakes and the momentum pushes me to the limits of the seat belt and my body slams against the rubber panel. I can't put my hands out to stop myself because they're trapped inside the sweater. He curses softly but harshly, pulling to the side of the road then placing a nervous hand on my back as I lift myself up. "Are you okay? I didn't mean--"

"I'm FINE." Actually, I'm sure I'll have bruises on my cheekbones tomorrow.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. "You just startled me. Of course you've figured it out, how could you not have?" He turns away and sinks his face into his hands, frustrated again.

I wonder if he would be able to stop me if I just opened the passenger door now and walked away.

"Listen." His face is up now and his yellow eyes are burning. "You can't tell anyone. This is bad that you know this. I wish I could have done things differently..."

"Why is it bad?" I'm glaring, challenging, locking scared-little-girl deep inside me.

"You wouldn't understand, you can't--"

I abruptly rip his sweater off of me and half stand up. "Of course not. I wouldn't understand anything. You'll make the decisions and I'll go along with it because I'm the human girl and you're the scary vampire. Fine."

He now looks apologetic and I want to scream. "Bella--"

I open the car door and walk out. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

And the littlest piggy went "wee wee wee wee" all the way home.

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