You guys are amazing! Two short chapters, and seven reviews! Every review means so much to me! Firstly, the Yaoi rant shall be coming, but since that's one hell of a rant, I'll save it for now. Secondly, I have changed my username, from xXCookieDoughXx to MarshieMello-Cookies. Either way, I'm still Cookie ^3^

I'm starting to wonder if the internet is where all the insane people go. I mean, I thought South Park was bad, with all the random ass shit that happens, but compared to this crazy world of the wide web, the place seems almost normal.

Yes, I just said that. Piss Floods and Giant Robots. Normal.

What am I to you? Some guy who cross-dresses, cries way too much, faints like a pussy, and crushes like a teenage girl over my best friend. I have no idea where you got that from. For fucks sake, you have turned me into some gay little emo. I'm not a fucking emo kid!

If I was, I'd be hanging with the goth-kids, and slicing my wrists, while writing some shitty poetry with my hands all mutilated and shit. Does that really seem like something I would do?

And suicide fics! There are more than enough fics of me being rejected by Stan, crying like a pussy, writing a note saying I love him, then go die in some morbid way, to please your sadistic minds.

I mean, come on! Even if I was rejected, (which if it ever happened, I would be, since neither of us are gay) I would not kill myself! I'd probably have no dignity left, since you fangirls have robbed me of it, and little pride, since you have stolen that from me as well, but really? I'm more of a logical person than that. I'd just move on.

Then again, none of that would happen, because I'm not gay for my best friend.

You fangirls must love to torture me. I mean, there are fics where Cartman does things to me…which I really don't want to talk about. All that fat…and flab…

I just shuddered. You guys seriously freak me out.

Anyways, there are also fics where I am kidnapped, tortured, stuck in a car accident, given some terminal illness and whatnot, and how do they all end? With Emo-Kyle. Motherfucking pussy emo-Kyle.

You fans could make it up to me by writing a fic where I meet emo-Kyle, and tell him to stop being a pansy and man up. That would repay the trauma I have suffered from that fic with Cartman…and the flab…and all the rolls of fat….

Out of all the damn things that make emo-Kyle suicidal, seeing Cartman naked would definitely work. I would contemplate killing myself, just to rid my eyes of that sight. I mean, that's logical! It makes sense! Who wouldn't want to jump off a bridge after seeing that fat tub of lard..naked….

I shuddered again. Fuck you fangirls. Those thoughts…you have mentally scarred me for life. Thank you very much.

I think I learned something today. Fangirls are sadistic physcos who like to see me suffer, and become a little emo kid.

I hope this wasn't offensive to anyone. I mean, half the time, I'm a sad little emo kid. But seriously, suicide and self-harm is pretty serious shit. I don't really know what else to say…

But anywho, thanks for reading, and please leave a review! I'm hardly in an emo mood when I get reviews!