Hello readers!
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for updating late, it's not cause of the lack of reviews, I'm not like that (usualy)…(but I can be if it'll get me more XD), I was just super busy yesterday, so I made sure I would catch up today!
Thanks to Verakun for favoriting part one!
And Maxine the unknowingly admired for favoriting part three!
More to
Bellatrix Nellie Le-Lovett - Why thank you!
XDazedandConfusedX - Thanks! I like seeing her happy too XD
Maxine the unknowingly admired - Happy you think it's sweet =)
Burma - Well thank you for reviewing again! And no, smiling and being sad isn't weird, I take it as a compliment!
Here you go you guys! Hope you love!
October 18th 1836
Oh my! I scold myself for not writing earlier! Two years since I last wrote? That isn't nice, or consistent, or organized. Not that I've ever been any of those things…
Well…love…so much has happened in the past years, that who knows how long this note will be?
Then again, these are love letters to you and I shouldn't really go on and on about my problems, huh? How come I only remember this dusty little notebook under my bed when I have problems or something exciting to say, eh? I simply don't know…
Alright! Enough about me!
So you're five and a half years now, happily running all over the beach, playing with other children your age and singing the songs in your head (much like your mum, you is!) You are small for your age, but it seems to give you some sort of advantage that the other little ones don't have, somehow. Your hair is as long and beautiful as always, and you have the wonderful talent to make anyone around you laugh just by being yourself everyday.
For hours on end, you'll stand on my bed and sing songs right off the top of your head! And I'll smile big and applaud from where I sit on the floor watching you. I think these are some of the best moments I share with you…That and also when I bake (because I very well just can't give up making the occasional pie all together, now can I?) you love to roll the dough into many a shapes and patterns. Sometimes even other foods like apples and sandwiches. Creative you are! Perhaps some day you'll be a baker like your dear mum.
Oh, here you come wobbling down the hall, awake from your nap now, softly rubbing your eye and yawning…sweet little thing…come here, I'll set the notebook down.
Oh deary…you care for me so much. Now you are outside, probably on the pier, fishing with Rory. But before I sent you out there, and right after you had come out of my bedroom and seen the tears sparkling down my cheeks…the first thing you did was mumble, "Whys are you crying, Mummy?"
I couldn't help but smile at your innocent little concern. I had tried to wipe the tears away so that you wouldn't notice them, but now I know that sometimes you seeing them is better. Cause then I can have someone to hug and comfort me.
"Nothing, love," I mumbled back, trying to display a smile.
Nothing gets past you though! All you did was come and climb into my lap whilst saying, "Please will yah tells me?"
I gathered your tiny frame up in my arms and hugged you as I mumbled back, "Nothing to your concern…just a little trouble with Rory…I think we might have to both say goodbye to him for now…"
"Do you love him, Mum?" your tiny little voice asked.
And I wasn't really sure how to answer that… "I do…I…"
"Mummy…who's this?" you stopped my mumbling and pulled a little folded up piece of paper from the small front pocket in your dress.
Setting you on my knee and taking the paper from your hands, I slowly unfolded it.
A picture.
I was fast to recognize the handsome face in the photograph. The dark brown eyes and flowing brown hair. Suddenly, I got a flash of his features towering over me on a sunny…beautiful spring day…
"That is Benjamin…" I muttered, "That's your father,"
You must have found the little thing in my room somewhere, smashed into a drawer or stuffed under something. I had actually wondered where this picture had gone to for a long while now…
We sat there for a few long minutes with nothing but the sound of the birds outside surrounding us, just staring at the picture.
Hm…how I miss him so…
"Did you love him, Mum?"
A let a beat float by.
"Yes…very much deary…"
"As much as you love Rory?"
I remember just biting my lip as tears rose in my eyes.
"Mummy…do you not wants Rory in our lives?" you asked slowly…thoughtfully…full of wonder.
I didn't say anything…I just gave you a sad smile, patted you on the back, and set you on the floor.
Cause I was determined to not suck you into all of my problems!
I whispered, "Thanks for finding this, Ella. Rory's outside fishing, how about you goes and join him, eh?"
Although you flashed a very worried face at me, one that was covered with so much love that it only brought more tears rising up, you muttered, "Yes, Mummy…" and filed out the back door.
After I heard the bang of it closing, and Rory's voice welcoming you…I picked back up this notebook…
Ha…
See how I've completely failed to leave my problems out of here?
Well, since you must be much older when you're reading this, I suppose I can tell you why Rory was making tears fall down my cheeks…and why they fall even harder now.
We talked today. The conversation plays over and over in my head. It's a breaking point, it is.
He sat down besides me with that oh-so fooling smile. It gives off the impression that he'll love me forever, that he wants nothing but to make me happy. I've been falling for it over and over again for over three years. I can't believe it's fooled me so long…
"Nellie…" he said, using my nickname. I smiled back at him as I placed my hand on his, intertwining our fingers together and loving the pleasant tingle it brought me. "There's been something I've been meaning to talk to you about…in all seriousness…"
Cocking my head I mumble back softly (well…you were still napping at that point) "Wot is it, love?"
He toke a deep breath and started, taking his hands out of mine and turning away from me at the back window to gaze out on the beach. "Please let me get it all out. Don't say a word until it's done…"
I smiled and nodded…Rory has always been one for great and long stories, unless you interrupt him. That'll set him off straight away! I realize only now, that I really didn't want to know this story that was buzzing around in his head.
"Nellie…you know I've been working on this case…for a while now…"
"Which one?" I asked, confused. As an investigator, he works on many cases. And they all seem to last quite a while!
"The one about the kidnapped baby girl…"
My heart sank…I hated hearing about this one…how horrible and tragic it is…
"That's a case over five years old! How…"
He stopped me…signaling my time to hush up and his time to tell what was going on in his mind. "I know it is…but I think I've finally gotten a lead…" you think his voice would have been excited. Such a cold case having finally got a lead on it all! But it was almost filled with…fright and…was just…unsettling. The tone worried me…
"Now don't take any of this the wrong way…"
I couldn't help but begin to wonder at this point what the hell this was all about…
He must have noticed the confused look on my face. "Listen now…the little girl who went missing. She was only four months old but, listen…she is presumed to have a brown-red hair color, bright blue eyes…"
My heart was beginning to leap in my chest…where was he going with this?
"She'd be about five and half now…and…" he must have noticed how he had lost my gaze to the floor. "And Nellie…she was taken from the beach… from the beach right here…right in back of your home,"
I was tiered of keeping quiet. "Are you proposing that I'm the one who took the child? You think I stole Ella when she was a baby? ! ?"
"Kidnapping is the current term, love," he said too calmly for my likings.
I stood up as I felt the heat rise to my face. My heart raced, my muscle tensed and I felt my teeth clenching.
My voice rose with my temper, yelling and scoffing. "Ella is mine! Ella was born in London and she is my baby girl. How could you ever even dare to say something like that! How could you possibly even think that?"
"Eleanor…calm down.." he tried to coax me back to relaxing.
But I refused. How could he ever dare suspect something like that of me? I would never! Never!
My face was clenching tighter and tighter. My eyebrows pulled together so close it ached my head, my eyes open wide with wonder and bewilderment. I shook my head violently.
"Rory Doyle! Out of my house! Out now!" I screamed, throwing my pointing finger toward the door. Commanding him. Demanding him and giving him no other option.
"Eleanor…"
"No! I'm through with this! Ella is my baby! She belongs to no one else and never did!"
He got up and started to waltz out of the parlor, through the kitchen, out the back door. Before he opened the door to continue to step outside, he turned around.
He stated slowly, eyes locking with mine, "Eleanor…I always told you the first time I saw you was in your shop. But I've been thinking and… I remember it very clearly. August, five years ago. I saw you through a shop window step off that carriage you arrived in. Not a penny to your name and looking hopeless and lost…no kid at your side…no bundle in your arms…and you say she was born in London…that was the first time I saw you…not at your shop…"
And with that and a small smirk, he left.
Who knows what I would have done if he didn't leave out the back door that moment…the heat burning through my body was boiling and it could have given me the energy to say and do things that I wouldn't normally mean.
I mean truly, how could he look at me in the eyes and lie like he had just done?
I'm sorry if you heard that whole squabbling. If you didn't, I'm shocked we didn't wake you up!
I promise you Ella Elizabeth…you are mine…I love you and you have always been mine. Don't ever believe those lies that anyone tells you…
You are mine.
Ella…you can trust
Oh dear oh drear…
Ella…
I know you were just trying to do what was best for me but…
Oh dear…
I have to explain why I didn't finish the last sentence. Why I had to set down the pen and run out of the house franticly…my heart pounding in my chest as if I already knew what had happened.
I raced outside…but what I was suspecting wasn't true. For there you were, sitting on the dock, looking at the sun as it began on it's path down the horizon, swinging your legs over the edge. I looked around the beach quickly…looking for the source of the sound I heard. I don't know how long I just stood there, my eyes darting around before I saw you waving to me.
"Mummy! Mummy!" I heard you call from out on the pier. I smiled back as I lifted my skirt and softly walked over the sand and down the long, wooden dock. At the end you grabbed my hand and pulled me down to dangle my bear feet over the edge into the cooling and calming water too.
Knowing that the splash I heard wasn't from you tumbling into the water calmed me and I was able to breath in the salty air with a sense of serenity.
After a while sitting there in the quiet rushing water, I asked, "Rory leave?"
You answered simply… "Nope,"
I turned my head to look at you, innocently just hanging your legs off the edge, swinging them and humming a cute little tune.
I narrowed my eyebrows, "Wot're yah mean, love?"
You didn't answer. I took your shoulder in my hand and turned you toward me so that you'd look at me.
"Ella? Where'd he go?"
You smiled at me…a simple guiltless little smile. And you pulled up your arm slowly and pointed down into the water.
My eyes grew large as my heart dropped and panic rose…
"Ella…" I began to whisper… "Did he just fall in?"
…all you did was shake your head…
Don't ever tell anyone I told you this…don't ever tell anyone what you did to Rory that day…what you truly believed was the best for both of us.
I promise never to tell a soul…I could never…
Soon, others will come looking for him. When he doesn't show up for work tomorrow, or for his lunch appointment.
People will notice…but no one will ever know.
Good riddance. I feel guilt everyday for loving Rory like I did…for turning my back on your father like I did everyday I spent with Rory. I'll do my best to forget this event…best to just forget all together, I suppose. Who knows? Perhaps this little last blurb here in the notebook will simply and most easily be tossed into the fire…seems the best thing to do…
Rory Doyle? Last saw him leaving my house…walking down the street late at night…leaving me.
Not looking back.
Thanks guys! Review and I'll see yah next week!