ENJOY!

A Dare to Love Again Valentine's Day Special

Part 3

Ana's POV

He takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom.

"It's settled," he tells me and I feel better about it. "You're staying the night and any other damn night you want."

"I don't have anything to wear for work tomorrow," I tell him. "I can just set my alarm early."

He gives me a look.

"What did you do," I ask him.

"I bought you a few clothes," he tells me.

"What," I squeak out. "When?"

"Mrs. Acton had them delivered Friday after we left and Gail put them away for you," he tells me.

"Where," I ask him and he points to his large walk in closet.

We walk in and I take a look.

"A few clothes," I whisper in astonishment as I see his clothes have been moved to one side of his closet while mine occupy the other side.

He has bought me a whole wardrobe, including evening gowns and cocktail dresses. Jesus Christ, there are shoes of all colors and styles neatly stacked on shelves right next to perfectly matched purses and bags.

"I got tired of you carrying your bags back and forth," he explains. "And besides you're my girlfriend, you're beautiful, and your body is amazing. I want you to always remember those three things everytime you come in here to get dressed. I want you to feel comfortable here Baby, and so does the twins."

"My God," I say in response to his words to me.

Just when I think I couldn't possible love him anymore, he says something that fills my heart and makes me fall for him all over again.

He shrugs as if this is not the biggest thing in the world. Not only has he bought me more clothes than I will ever hope to wear in a lifetime, but he has made room for me in his closet. He has made a space just for my things in his home.

I turn to him speechless.

"If you don't like something just let me know and I'll return it," he tells me.

"Ana," he calls my name when I have yet to speak as I stand speechless by the overwhelming sweet gesture and what the meaning is behind it.

"Fuck," he sighs as his face falls. "I've gone too far. I've completely overwhelmed you, haven't I?"

"What," I manage to get out. "No. Overwhelmed yes..."

He nods his head, misunderstanding my meaning.

"No, not like that," I try again. " I...I'm just...I..."

You are totally blowing it Ana, just say it!

"Ana," he calls my name when I have yet to speak as I stand speechless by the overwhelming sweet gesture and what the meaning is behind it.

"Fuck," he sighs as his face falls. "I've gone too far. I've completely overwhelmed you, haven't I?"

"What," I manage to get out. "No. Overwhelmed yes..."

He nods his head, misunderstanding my meaning.

"No, not like that," I try again. "I...I'm just...I..."

You are totally blowing it Ana, just say it!

"No Christian," I grab him and kiss him for dear life when he tries to apologize to me. "I love it so much. I just… I don't know."

"Baby, I swear you are the only woman I've ever met who doesn't talk to death about her feelings," he jokes with me. "Just tell me, are they good or bad?"

"Good," I tell him. "And bad."

"Okay," he says. "Now, can I get a little more than that?"

"Christian, it's true, you do overwhelm me, but not in a bad way," I tell him. "The fact that you did all these things for me today was amazing enough, but then you make room in your closet for me. I wish I could tell you how much that means to me."

"About the same as it did for me when you gave me a key to your place," he tells me. "So what's the bad part?"

"You are making it hard for me to keep perspective," I tell him.

"Perspective," he repeats like it's a dirty word.

"Yes," I tell him. "I need to stay grounded where you're concerned."

"You don't want me to sweep you off of your feet," he tells me.

"I don't want to get swept away," I say to him.

"Why not," he asks me.

"I need to be able to keep my identity," I explain to him. "To keep the little bit of control I have."

"Baby, you think I want to take those things away from you," he asks me.

"No," I tell him. "But it would be so easy for me to give it to you without even realizing it was happening. Every second of every day, I fall deeper in love with you and now you are making room for me here. I already feel so safe here and this is making it a thousand times harder to stay away."

"Good," he exclaims. "Baby, what's so wrong with that?"

"God Christian, I just have no defenses when it comes to you and I'm afraid you are going to swallow me whole," I tell him.

"Come here," he says taking me in is arms. "I get it, trust me I do. You have managed to somehow seep into my every pore and it is scary as hell to realize how much I need you in my life to make it worth living."

"It is," I ask him.

"Yes, Baby," he tells me, exasperated that I still don't believe him. "I know it's a little different for you because, unfortunately the gauge in which you have to measure all this by isn't really in my favor, but I need you to trust me on this like you do everything else. I need you to trust in this love we have. Know that it is healthy."

"What if it doesn't work out," I ask him. "It's only been a few months. What if we are just setting ourselves up for failure when all of the excitement wears off and reality sets in?"

"Failure is simply not an option in my world, Ana," he tells me. "At the risk of showing my hand and scaring you more than I already am, you have to know that I'm not going to let you go. That doesn't mean I'll try to force you stay, but damnit, I am going to do everything in my power to make you want to. I am a man who does what he has to do to get what he wants and I have never wanted anything or anyone more in my life than I want you."

"You make it all sound so easy," I tell him.

"It's not easy," he tells me. "Like anything worth having, it's hard work and it's everyday. We are going to have our ups and downs and at some point, compromise will have to come into play, especially with us trying to share a life together, but I would never change who you are, Ana. Who you are is the very thing I love about you. And you are stronger than you think you are. You would never let me get away with that shit."

I laugh.

"Don't over think things, Baby," he tells me. "I know it's all new to you, but most of this is new to me too. Just don't pull back because you are afraid of something that won't ever happen."

"You just seem so sure that it won't," I tell him.

"Ana," he says to me. "I am sure because I am all in, one hundred percent, and I need to know that you are all in too."

All in, I don't know if I can do all in. Can anyone give their all to someone else and still own who they are?

He stands hopeful for my answer and I choke.

"I…I don't want to keep the twins waiting," I tell him and make a hasty retreat.

He nods and tries to hide it, but I can see the hurt in his eyes from me running.

Feeling like crap for not being able to give him what he wants, I go to read to the twins. I find them in Teddy's room waiting for me.

We finish reading the last part of James and the Giant Peach which they started reading earlier in the week with Christian. But they are nowhere near ready to go to bed. Instead they bombard me with questions which apparently they have been wanting to ask me.

"Are you going to be here when we get up in the morning," Teddy asks me.

"Uh, yeah I'll be here," I tell him.

"Are you going to be staying a lot of nights," Phoebe asks me.

"I think maybe so," I tell her. "But I don't want to make you uncomfortable by being here. I know it's a lot to get use to."

"Dad wants you to stay a lot of nights," Teddy says.

"You think so," I ask him.

"Uh huh," Phoebe answers for him. "He likes you and it makes him happy, that's what Auntie Mia and Grandma Grace said."

"Were you eavesdropping," I ask them, trying hard to get out of talking about this.

"Nope, they just talk loud," Teddy says. "Grandma Grace says she's happy dad met you because he's not sad anymore."

"He was sad," I ask them, knowing I really shouldn't be pumping them for information.

"Uh huh," Phoebe said. "Auntie Mia said he was mes…mesera…"

"Miserable," I ask her.

"Uh huh," she says. "Daddy use to be really sad and I was scared because I thought he would leave us like Mommy did because she was sad about Baby Andy, that's our little brother, he died and she got real sad and left us. Dad was sad too and he gave us cell phones so we could always talk to him but one day he didn't answer and I thought he left us all alone. But now he's not sad anymore and neither is Mommy so I'm not so scared."

"I'm glad," I tell them both. "Your mom and dad love you very much and they would never want you to be scared of such a thing. I know it was hard when your brother died and you all miss him very much. Your mom and dad working so hard to make it better shows just how very much they love you."

They both nod.

"I thought Mom would get sad again because Dad loves you now, but she says that dad isn't the type of man who loves very easily, but she always knew that he could love someone really hard and that she's happy he found someone to love like that and that we need to help him make it okay to love you." Teddy says. "So it's okay with us."

"Do you love Daddy, Ana," Phoebe asks.

"I don't think we are supposed to ask that," Teddy tells Phoebe.

"Its okay, Teddy," I tell him. "Yes, I love your Dad very much."

"He loves you too," she says, happily."Even though he might not say. He's not much of a sayer just like Teddy. Teddy loves me, but he won't say it. He loves you too. But Daddy tells us he loves us 'cause we're his kids. I don't mind telling people when I love them. And I love you, Ana."

I can't help but smile at her sweet confession.

"I love you too," I tell her. "I love both of you."

They both smile at me.

….

I tuck in Teddy and walk Phoebe to her room and tuck her in before I head back to Christian.

I am kicking myself for being such an idiot letting my stupid doubts get in the way of loving a man whose done everything he can to show me how much he loves me since nearly the first day we met.

Well fuck you Travis Carson for making me this afraid to trust again and fuck you Carla Steele for making me feel like I don't belong anywhere because I finally do and no way in hell am I going to walk away from it or doubt it ever again.

I find Christian sitting on the edge of his bed waiting for me.

"Did they talk your ear off," he asks looking up at me worried and I know it has nothing to do with the twins talking to me.

"They just wanted to make sure my intentions were true with their Daddy," I tell him and he cracks a smile.

"Ana, why are running again," he asks me.

"I'm not," I tell him. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm all in."

"You're all in," he repeats and I nod

"One hundred percent," I tell him.

"Thank fuck for that," he says lifting me up and spinning me around.

…..

"I really freaked you out with the closet thing," Christian says as we lay curled up in his bed.

"It's not every day a guy gives a girl half his closet," I tell him.

"Then I probably shouldn't show you the underwear drawers or the bathroom cabinets," he says and I laugh.

"You are too much," I tell him giving him a kiss on the lips. "Thank you."

"For what," he asks me.

"For loving me hard," I tell him.

"I don't know how to love you any other way, Baby," he tells me.

"Be patient with me," I tell him. "I'm notorious for panicking."

"Not a problem, Baby," he chuckles.

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Happy Valentine's Day!