~Wild Karrde~

The shuttle ride up to the Wild Karrde was fairly quiet. Luke had a million questions to ask Mara, but he didn't want to talk in front of his son Ben.

He ran through some Jedi relaxation techniques to try to unwind. The last couple months were more stressful than anything he experienced in his lifetime. Facing Emperor Palpatine was easy compared to telling a six-year-old boy that mommy left home and his parents were getting a divorce.

The affair and breakup hit Luke worse than if Callista had died. With infidelity there is the death of trust, love, marriage and family. Luke was left to face the fact that the person he trusted with all his heart had deliberately smashed his dreams beyond repair. She planned it, hid it, and then tried to make Luke think he was crazy when he questioned those strange late night comlink calls. The thought that his wife could look him the eye and tell him lie after lie was beyond comprehension. Did he ever really know Callista? Was anything she said the truth? Is this affair the first or only the first discovered out of many? Luke rubbed his temples trying to ward off a headache. He had to stop wallowing in his pain. He couldn't let his ineffable sense of loss and loneliness to emotionally and spiritually paralyze him. He had a son to take care of…Ben needed him.

The shuttle docked with the Wild Karrde and Luke and Ben debarked first. The ship's pilot, Chin, who was accompanied by Darik, met them on the other side of the docking ring. When the two boys saw each other their faces lit up in excitement.

Mara exited the shuttle and moved to stand next to her son. "Darik, this is Ben. He's the son of Mommy's friend Luke Skywalker." She motioned to Luke.

"Do you want to go play?" Darik asked Ben excitedly.

The little boy turned back to Luke. "Can I Dad?"

Luke nodded. "Sure, but stay out of trouble."

Karrde walked up to the boys. "I'll bring them to the cargo bay, Luke. We have balls and other toys for them to play with."

"Just don't let them hurt Sturm." Mara cautioned Karrke. "Darik's too big to try to ride your vornskr like a dewback."

"I'll make sure they don't terrorize the Sturm too much," Karrde said with a grin as he ushered the two boys down the hall. Chin excused himself and went back to the ship's flight deck leaving Luke and Mara alone.

They stood looking at each other in uncomfortable silence. Mara eventually turned and motioned for Luke to follow. "Let's go to my cabin and I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

When they reached her quarters she opened door and allowed Luke to enter first. She followed, closed the door behind her, and then sat down on her bunk as Luke took a nearby chair.

She crossed her arms defensively. "Go ahead, unload if you want."

His head drooped. "No, I can understand…I think. You find out you're pregnant and then discover I'm married. You don't want to throw a wrench into my happiness, so you keep quiet."

She gave a forlorn little nod.

He looked up to her questioningly. "But what I do want to know is why you left after our night together."

The color deepened in her cheeks and there was a tenseness of her posture. "Luke, we were drunk and lost control. It was a mistake and I was embarrassed by my behavior. We're not teenagers. We should have had some self-control." She looked into his blue eyes. "Luke I was hoping if I put some time and distance between us you would forget about what happened and we could go back to the way we were."

Luke laughed derisively. "Mara, I wasn't that drunk; I don't think I will ever forget that night. It was special."

She gave him a steady look. "Then why did you marry Callista?"

His face distorted in pain. "You know why, Jade."

"You were doing the honorable thing?"

"That was part of the reason. I still loved her, even after she hurt me by leaving. When she told me she was pregnant I immediately proposed. I probably should have thought things over, but I still had feelings for her… and I wanted a family."

He gazed into Mara's eyes. "Mara, what do I need to do to have a relationship with my son Darik?"

She lapsed into a thinking pause and then gave him a forthright gaze. "When the time comes to tell him you're his father…we do it together. If that subject comes up earlier then tell him he needs to talk to me."

Luke nodded. "Fair enough."

"Luke, I don't want Darik to be around Callista. Don't ask me why, I just never liked her. If she comes crawling back to you I won't let Darik be around her." She paused. "I'll still allow you to see him on the Wild Karrde or somewhere away from the bodysna…Callista."

Luke gave a bitter laugh. "Go ahead and say it…the bodysnatcher. You think I haven't heard that said among my Jedi students when they thought I was out of hearing range." He sighed. "I wish I never found the Eye of Palpatine."

Mara looked at him skeptically. "And give up your son…I doubt that. I think even you will admit Ben is worth the pain you endured with Callista."

Luke smiled at the thought of his son. Mara had been right when she talked to Luke on Coruscant...it didn't matter what the blood tests proved...Ben was Luke's son and he loved him unconditionally. "I just wish he didn't have to lose his mother." Bitterness twisted his lips. "I wish she could have stayed faithful. It's humiliating to think I wasn't good enough for her to stay."

Mara frowned in annoyance. "Oh please Luke, it had nothing to do with you."

"How do you know that?" He shot back.

"Were you disrespectful to her? Did you demean her, take her for granted? Did you cheat on her? Did you hit her or call her names?"

"Of course not." Luke said slightly offended.

"Luke some people are never happy and they never see the problem as being within them. They always look for an outside source for their unhappiness. Callista couldn't look deep within herself and see what was broken." Mara hesitated for a moment, before continuing. "I don't want to disrespect somebody you may still care about…but I always saw her as a narcissist. You can't take over some young woman's body and live out a new life with a handsome Jedi Master without having some feelings of entitlement. Believe me Luke, the affair was not about you…it was all about her."

Luke gazed at the floor sadly. "You really think so?"

"I know so." Mara gave him a forced smile. "I spent almost two decades working with the High Exalted Sith Lord of Narcissism—Emperor Palpatine. I'm not suggesting Callista was Sith, I'm just saying I saw personality quirks in her that I saw in the Emperor. They only thought about themselves and what others could do for them."

Luke remained silent, not knowing what to say next. Mara stood and pulled him out of his chair. "Come on Luke, let's go see your sons."

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As they entered the cargo bay their ears were immediately assaulted by the high pitch screams of delight that only young children are capable of producing. Luke smiled as he saw Ben, Darik and Talon kicking a ball around the deck playing keep away from Karrde's pet vornskr. The usually vicious canine-like animal ran back and forth trying to snatch the ball in his mouth full of sharp teeth. Finally the animal succeeded in capturing the ball and now it was the boys' turn to chase the nocturnal predator.

Luke walked up to Karrde. "Is it safe for the boys to be around Sturm…from what I remember the animal wasn't too fond of me."

Karrde shrugged. "It's fine. Sturm loves kids."

"That's because Sturm thinks they taste like pittins." Mara added sarcastically.

The smuggler chuckled. "She's joking Luke, Sturm has never hurt Darik…now Darik hurting Sturm, that's another matter. When Darik was a toddler he would chase poor Sturm and pull at his fur. I have never seen a vornskr put up with so much abuse."

Luke gave a sad smile. "I wish I was there to see that." He turned to Mara. "Did you take any holos?"

Mara laughed and gazed at her son with unabashed affection. "Talon used to joke that I had recorded every minute of Darik's life." She smiled reminiscently. "I don't think I was that bad, but we have all the important things…first bath, first steps, first words…"

"What was his first word," Luke asked curious.

She grimaced. "To my horror it was 'Sturm'."

"Then Da Da," Karrde announced proudly his eyes sparkled with amusement.

Mara glowered at him. "I think you coached him extensively."

Karrde put his hands to his chest in a 'who me' gesture.

"Yes, you!"

Luke had drifted away from the conversation as he watched Ben and Darik playing together like old friends. He realized Darik probably didn't have many playmates his age and this must be an unusual occurrence for the boy. Seeing the two run and laugh together brought joy to his heart. For a brief instant a beautiful image floated across Luke's mind. It was a vision of these two children growing up together and becoming two men bound to each other as brothers. Luke shook his head and refocused on the reality of the moment. He shouldn't dream so idealistically. In the last two months, he learned the hard painful truth of life…dreams rarely come true and if they do…they can be crushed.

Karrde came up to Luke and put a hand on his shoulder startling him out of his chain of thought. "Luke, would you mind if Mara and I took Ben up to see the cockpit." He gave Luke's shoulder a quick squeeze. "It'll give you some one-on-one time with Darik."

Luke gave a grateful smile. "Thanks Talon. I appreciate it."

"Hey Ben," Talon called out. "Do you want to see the flight deck of the ship?"

The boy's bright green eyes lit up. "Yes!" He looked over to his dad. "Is it okay, Dad?"

Luke nodded. Ben ran towards Karrde and Mara with Darik following quickly behind before Mara stopped him. "Darik, can you do me a favor and show my friend Luke around the ship. Go show him your room and the holos you have sailing and skiing."

Darik gave Mara a boyish grin. "Okay Mom." Darik took Luke's hand in his and pulled him toward the corridor. "Come on I'll show you my holos."

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.

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"And this holo has pictures of our trip to…"the blond hair boy gave an embarrassed smile. "I can't remember the names of all the planets."

"That's okay," Luke pushed the button to active the holoprojector. "I bet I can figure out where you were."

The air above the projector disk shimmered and then coalesced into an image of Darik and Mara in a small sailboat. Luke's eyebrows rose in surprise. He didn't know Mara knew how to sail. The images changed every few seconds to show Karrde and Darik around a campfire, the crew of the Wild Karrde swimming in a Lake, Darik at a holo-arcade, Mara and Darik sliding down a zip-line, Darik skiing…it looked like Mara and Karrde made sure they spent time as a family on each planet they visited. The last image was of Chin in a baggy swimsuit straddling a water speeder with Darik sitting in front of him with his hands on the steering controls.

"Uncle Chin is fun. He got the water speeder going really fast. We hit a wave and went way up in the air." The blond hair boy grinned wildly as he used his hands to pantomime what happened. "It was fun, but Mom yelled at Uncle Chin for not being safe."

"It looks like you like living on the Wild Karrde." Luke said softly.

Darik nodded. "It's not so fun between planets. I have to do school work." The boy suddenly stopped talking when he noticed something on Luke's belt. "Is that a lightsaber?"

"Yes."

Darik gave him a look of awe. "Are you are Jedi?"

Luke nodded. "Yes, I am."

The boy examined Luke's lightsaber without touching it. "My mommy has a lightsaber, but she said she's not a Jedi." The boy moved around Luke to see the saber better. "She said my Daddy gave it to her. He's a Jedi."

This surprised Luke. "Do you mean your Daddy Talon?" he asked hesitantly.

Darik laughed. "No. Daddy Talon helps mommy take care of me. Mommy said my daddy is a Jedi but he had to go far away."

Luke swallowed a lump in his throat. "Did she tell you anything else?"

"She said I'm cute like my dad."

"Oh really," Luke laughed.

"Yeah, and she must love him a lot," the little boy whispered.

Luke's brow creased. "Why do you say that?"

"Because Mommy says she loved him almost as much as me…and she loves me a lot." He looked up at Luke his blue eyes seemed to bore through him intensely. "Do you know my Daddy?"

Luke was momentarily struck speechless. "I…umm, I think I need to talk to your mother first about that."

The little boy nodded. "Okay." He looked toward the door. "Can I go play with Ben again?"

Luke stood and took Darik's hand. "Sure, let's go find Ben."