Weddings and Weepings:

The preparations leading up their wedding were a joyful time for all the Bennets save Elizabeth and Jane. When Jane was made aware of the situation she showed compassion and used her caring heart to make it better.

"Lizzy? Can I bring you some tea? I believe it will make you feel better."

"Not feeling up for it, oh Jane what shall I do? Should I run away? I believe that to be my best option at present. Could you ask Mr. Bingley if there are any in his acquaintance looking for a governess or companion? I think that would be best for me now. After my ended engagement my reputation will suffer. I cannot bear to think of how the gossips will hurt you. But I will not marry that man." She could feel the tears rising in her eyes, she grasped for her handkerchief, but Jane took her hands in hers.

"Lizzy, our cousin Mr. Collins is perhaps not the cleverest of men, but he is respectable. If you were to run away now I fear you may never get to live your life."

"But will not I be living, but rather merely existing. I want to love my husband, not barely tolerate his mere presence. I want to see him in the mornings and at night and dare I say feel safe in his arms, I may never―nay―will never have the chance with Mr. Collins."

"But Lizzy if you go into the marriage speaking of it's faults you will never make the most of the situation. I care for you so very deeply. I want you to be happy. This may be hard for you to understand, but try to tolerate your husband. Find a common interest, perhaps that can be a block of a foundation, adding a block day by day until there is a functional, home."

Of all advise she was given Elizabeth took this to heart. She was determined to make the most of her situation that she was stuck with. 'Perhaps God had a plan for her that we have yet to see.' as Mary would say.

She tried for the next week to get to know her betrothed. Two days of which were spent with him in London obtaining a Common License. He did not want to wait for the banns to be read, causing a potential for objection. She was his, the sooner it was official in the eyes of God and the law, the sooner he would worry no more.

When it was high time to put on her dress, she worried for what the next chapter in her life would bring. She was determined to be the very essence of grace and poise; that ended quite shortly.

When Mrs. Hill came to her room to tell her the carriage was ready to depart for the church she broke down into a puddle of tears. Instead of looking happy and joyful on her wedding day she appeared as though she was attending a funeral. Her own funeral. After ten minutes of uncontrollable sobs her Uncle Gardiner and father came to retrieve her.

"My condolences Lizzy, I had always hoped you would be happier on the day of your marriage." Mr. Gardiner spoke sadly.

"Lizzy you will be able to live in Longbourn with your mother and sisters upon my death. All will be well." She struggled to compose herself. She had to look strong. Her witty remarks were what had become her armor over the years, she needed wear a brave face. Like an article of clothing. Wiping her tears with her favorite handkerchief from her childhood embroidered "E. B." she placed the wet cloth beside her old cross necklace in the drawer of her bedside table...Bringing an end to her childhood. Then her thoughts tended to what Mr. Collins expected of the wedding night and she nearly threw up in the carriage.

She entered the church, all her weight supported by her father. Mr. Collins beheld his soon-to-be wife, she looked positively radiant. She would be a great parson's wife in his position, if she could keep her comments to herself. When silent, she was lovely. Her beauty would meet Lady Catherine's expectations.

As she entered, she saw the look on his face and she noticed where his eyes were looking, it did not help that he was shorter than her and he just "naturally" looked to her chest. There were no words to describe her horror during the ceremony. When they neared the end he pulled her in for a kiss. She was hoping for something quick, but he wanted to linger. She wanted the day to be over. But first the wedding breakfast and then whatever Mr. Collins had in mind.