Strong Enough
Chapter 3
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WARNING: Little Gore
It was around three days before I saw anyone. I didn't know if it was my punishment for acting out, but I knew the others weren't suffering alone as I. Sometimes, I could hear them talking through the walls. Katelyn to Travis and Aphmau to Aaron were the most common people I heard. Only on one occasion did I hear everyone together, except me. The empty void they called a room only increased my anxiety. With nothing to do, no one to talk to, only this emptiness and silence; It was driving me to the edge of insanity. I had yet to lose control of myself, but I felt like that was going to change. But, thankfully, the quiet gave me time to think. I had started to peace back together memories I thought I had lost. I could remember chunks of what happened, like when these people first came to the capital...
I was standing guard at the wall. I could not see nor hear anything out of the ordinary, just the wind in the trees and the sounds of birds singing. But I had clearly missed something when a blade materialized in front of me and left the gash on my forehead I had been so lost on before. Then the hilt of the sword was slammed into the back of my head, leaving me on the ground, unable to do anything. Crimson slowly invaded the edges of my vision, making it hard to make out a group of people walking by me, as if I didn't exist. Not even minutes later, I could hear screams, all that sounded faint. Even my own, as I called out to everyone I cared for or cursed at the people leaving me helpless. And the others: I heard Aphmau, Katelyn, Lucinda, and Travis. Of course I wouldn't hear Aaron. Soon after, crimson turned to black and my vision blurred, but not enough for me to be unable to see as they pulled Aphmau and the others out of the Capital walls; right past me.
Everything after that had not come back to me, yet at least. But as my time of thinking in silence increased, one quiet thought nudged at the back of my mind. This was my fault. Everything that had happened, all because I wasn't paying enough attention back at the wall. Guilt and anger was the biggest threat to my sanity. But I couldn't control it today. After thinking everything over in my head for an hour, blaming myself, I couldn't take it anymore. I spun around and slammed a fist into the wall. A searing pain shot through my hand to the bruise on my shoulder, but I didn't let it stop me. I swung again, thinking of my mistake of lowering my guard. I hit the wall a few more times, before remembering the vanity. I stalked over to it, and the reflection in the mirror shocked me. I was in my Shadow Knight form? They said the place blocks magicks, right? I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hand, and when I stared at the reflection again, it was me. But you wouldn't know it. The bruise on my forehead was starting to fade, and the gash was nothing more than a scar at this point. The marks on my shoulder and neck were fading as well. But there was a new wound, one not caused by THEM. My knuckles were bruised and blood dripped from open wounds. I stood there, staring into the mirror for what seemed like 5 minutes. I didn't see Laurence, head guard of the Phoenix Alliance Capital and protector of the innocent. I saw a premature Shadow Knight, having hurt so many he cared for and taking so many unwitting lives. I saw nothing but a demon. And I hated him. I slammed both my hands into the mirror, shattering the glass. Jagged edges left deep cuts in my palms, but the pain was weak, and more of a numbness. I placed my hands on the vanity's table, leaving in my wake a crimson hand print. I stared at the mirror again, trying to make out my reflection in the spider web of cracks. Almost every sharp edge on the mirror had a trail of blood weaving its way through the cracks, then dripping onto the table. I took a deep breath, trying to take control away from my anger and fear. As I gave the mirror once last glance, I realized something. One of the biggest cracks was across my heart. What had I done? If anyone saw me like this, what would they think of me? Would they think I was lost to the Shadow Knight lurking inside me? An empty shell of the man I was before? I guess that was true. I had never snapped like this before, and I never wanted to. But ever since I became a Shadow Knight, I've been restless, trying to reach something I could never find. Maybe it was destruction. Maybe it was my immortality. Maybe, it was my love for Aphmau. The desire to protect her, to always be by her side. Maybe that was what was really driving me insane, that I wanted Aphmau, but my promise to Garroth kept me away. I didn't know, and I didn't think I ever would know. A sound behind me made me jump. A door opening. I thought it was just one of the meals they sent everyone, until Aphmau stepped slowly inside. I looked down at my bloody, wounded hands, but there was nothing to hide them with. "Laurance?" She said quietly. I nodded a little, hoping she wouldn't notice my hands. But she already had. "Mother of Irene, what did you do?!" She asked, holding my hands up to examine them. The pain was only now catching up to me, and I winced at her touch. "Sorry!" She mumbled gently. Her fingers gently skimmed my cuts, the pain disappearing into a tingling sensation that made me shudder. "I'm sorry..." I muttered quietly. She looked at me, confusion clouding over her worry. "I let my anger get the best of me. Its been days in dead silence. I even remembered how we got here..." I said. She watched me carefully, her beautiful, bright eyes staring into my pale blue ones. "It was my fault. I wasn't paying close enough attention at the wall. I'm so, so sorry..." I was barely audible anymore, even in the silence, but Aphmau still heard me. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I was hesitant to except. Did she really not think of me as a real Shadow Knight, after everything she sees in me, on me, everything she's heard? No. She always chose to see the good in everyone. Me, I always saw the worst, and sometimes even looked for it. Even in myself. To know someone's weaknesses is the greatest power you can possess in combat. Maybe my inside Shadow Knight knows that and uses it against me. It knows my weakness. Myself. What I have become. What I wish I hadn't become. I kept my arms at my side, afraid to get my blood on her. She pulled back her head to look at me with a gentle, loving smile. I couldn't keep a small smile away from my lips as well. "How do you do it?" I asked her. She tilted her head, never moving her eyes off mine. "Do what?" I sighed, my smile growing. "Even in someone's darkest hour, you still find a way to make them smile. Human, or Knight of Shadows." I said. A sly and mischievous smile played across her face. "Like this-" She cut herself off when she pressed her lips to my cheek. I stood there, wide-eyed, shocked. She wasn't normally one to do that. Maybe it was just pity, but I really didn't care. I slowly turned my head, moving her lips from my cheek to my mouth. We stayed there, not moving, for a few minutes, until the sound of another door opening made us jump apart. It wasn't one of our friends. It was them. "The boss would like to see the Shadow Knight. Alone, if you would, Irene." Aphmau growled at the name, but stepped back from me into her room. I lowered my head, cursing these people for ruining our moment. But I didn't want anyone, especially Aphmau to suffer the same way I did. So I followed.
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Thanks for reading chapter 3 of Strong Enough! Sorry, this one was really dark. I left a warning at the bottom of the last one, and I clearly wasn't kidding XD. Anyway, what could "The Boss" want to talk to Laurance about? And will he be able to remember more of the past? Find out in the next chapter!