Chapter 3 – Serenity

Rose watched as Cal's heels clicked on the deck behind her. Her heart raced, hoping she wouldn't be caught. His dark brown eyes looked around and seemed to be searing holes right through Rose. A chill went up her spine. She heard him walk slowly back up the staircase and took a deep, calming breath.

"S'cuse me, ma'am," said an officer. Rose jumped, still on edge from seeing Cal. "I'm sorry, ma'am. May I have your name, love?" he said. "We need it so we can start assigning people staterooms." She looked up at him from her seat on the park bench where she sat herself down hours before.

"Dawson," she said. "Rose Dawson."

"Thank you. I'll have one of our stewards escort you to your stateroom," he finished before going to another person on deck.

Rose spotted a blonde boy with the most striking blue eyes come towards her. "Hello, Ms. Dawson," he said smiling, "My name is Christopher Matthews. I'll be your steward for your stay on Carpathia. Would you like to go to your stateroom?" he asked. Rose nodded. She had been outside since the night before and wanted to get inside where the air was warmer and she might have a little more privacy. "Right this way," he said. "I hope you don't mind sharing your stateroom with another woman. As you can tell, we aren't really large enough to accommodate our own passengers as well as the survivors, but we'll try to do the best we can." Rose just nodded as he talked. She didn't even feel like talking to anyone. She just wanted to be with Jack. She felt this surge of anger just resting deep inside of her chest just waiting to explode. But she remained collected as she followed Christopher.

"Right here we are," he said walking past the door labeled "Hospital". He opened the door next to it and showed Rose her room. It was far unlike anything she had stayed in on the Titanic. There were two beds, made up with a sheet as well as a quilt and one pillow. A sink stood in between the two. The walls were painted a dark red, but the paint was chipping away slowly on the ceiling. There was no window. "If you need anything, I'll be walking around the floor," he instructed as he stepped out of the room.

Rose felt shorthanded. This new life didn't seem nearly as fun without Jack. But she knew she had to live it now. There was no turning back. She made a promise and she intended to keep it. At the same time, her loss made her so angry. She dropped the blanket she had been wrapped in around her and fell onto the bed to her right. A surge of fury came up and she screamed loudly into the pillow and punched the wall next to her bed. As she lay there, she fell asleep crying.

On the other side of the wall, Jake woke up to a loud bang next to him. Why are these people so loud and rude? he thought. Jack was feeling much better just within a few short hours. He looked at the clock. It was one o'clock in the afternoon. "Regina," he called out to the nurse. She entered the room from the doctor's quarters, "May I please get out of bed now?" She looked at him remorsefully. "Mr. Dawson, I understand that there's a woman out there who thinks you're dead. And I know how much you must want to find her—."

"No you don't understand!" he yelled at her. Regina looked hurt.

"Do you think I didn't lose anyone? Huh Jack? Do you think you're the only one hurt by this?" Jack looked dumbfounded. He had never thought that Regina would've lost her friends. She regained her composure. "My boyfriend Barrett worked in the hull shoveling coal into the boilers. My best friend Trudy was a maid, and I know she didn't make it either. And I know that it's hard to sit here while she's up there crying over your death, but be happy that you have someone up there." She turned around and began to go back to the doctor's quarters.

"I'm sorry," Jack said as she turned, "about Barrett that is." She turned backto face Jack.

"You can leave after dinner. I promise, even if I have to sneak you out of here. I want to meet this Rose girl."

"She's a woman," Jack said simply. Regina smiled and went back to the doctor's quarters. Jack laid in his bed, now dressed, and sat there thinking about what had happened. For the first time, he was forced to think about everything. Why was he alive? They told him several times in the past few hours how lucky he was to be alive. But why? Why not Fabrizio? Or Tommy? Or Barrett and Trudy? Why him and not them? Come on Jack, he thought, you can't sit here and beat yourself up over this. Be happy to be alive. Then he remembered his statement to Rose and called over to Regina.

"Regina, can you bring me a pad of paper and a pen? I have a strongly worded letter I need to write."

That night, Rose headed down to the cafeteria for dinner. She met Christopher there and he sat down next to her to eat. "So Ms. Dawson, how are you?"

"How good can I be?" she asked icily.

"Sorry, you just seem to be upset. I just want to help," he continued. His eyes looked trusting and true.

"I'm sorry," she said feeling guilty. "I just don't want to deal with this. It's too much to handle." She took a sip of her warm coffee.

"Have you ever heard of the serenity prayer?"

"The what?"

"The Serenity Prayer. My mother taught it to me as a young child. He looked into her eyes and recited the whole thing by memory:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

"That was beautiful," she told him. "Now wait, how does it go again?" she asked, determined to learn it by heart. After a ten minute lesson, Rose could recite it from memory.

"Well, I have to get back to my rounds. Good night Ms. Dawson."

"My name is Rose."

"Good night, Rose." Rose turned around and finished her meal, all the while saying the Serenity Prayer over and over in her head. After she had cleaned her plate from the beef stew, cornbread, and mashed potatoes, she walked out of the cafeteria and began heading aft towards the stern of the ship.

In the hospital, Jack had wolfed down a full plate of food and then took some more medicine. Regina entered the room with a large coat for Jack.

"Alright Jack, the doctor says you can go. But stay inside and come back here before you fall asleep to take your medicine. I want you to check in at ten o'clock. And please don't go running around too long. You have t conserve your energy."

"Yes ma'am. And thank you." Jack threw the coat on and moved outside into the corridor. He was going to find Rose. It's still dinner. She'll be in the cafeteria. He found a steward with blonde hair and blue eyes. "Excuse me sir, where's the cafeteria for third class passengers?" he asked. The stewards blue eyes seemed to Jack to be trusting and true as he smiled.

"Just head aft and go down a level and it'll be to your right," he said laying out Jack's route. Jack thanked him and started walking quickly towards the cafeteria. When he got there, he scanned the tops of the people's heads for that thick, fiery, curly hair. Only a sea of blondes and brunettes scattered the hall. He stepped back out and began just walking down hallways, looking anywhere, knowing he'd bump into Rose somewhere. After an hour of searching the forward decks and halls, he sat on a bench and put his head in his hands.

You aren't supposed to be outside he reminded himself. So what? You're here to find Rose. I think that's a little more important. Okay, if I was Rose, where would I go? I just lost a loved one and suffered tragedy, and I wanted to go somewhere I would go to… His head perked up. He knew where she was.

As Rose stood on the stern of the ship overlooking the black ocean she began to think. She wasn't going to jump this time. She made a promise to Jack. She was going to get off the ship in New York and begin a new life. She rested her arms on the railing and began to sing. Jack saw her from a distance and slowly began to walk towards her. Her hair had fallen across her back and she was singing. Jack slowly and quietly came up behind her and stood mere inches away from here.

She sang, "Come Josephine, my flying machine and it's up she goes—."

"Up she goes," Jack sang behind her. Rose turned around quickly and let out a blood curdling scream.

"Oh My GOD!" she screamed, louder even than the night she was hanging off the Titanic. She attacked him and began to sob uncontrollably as she jumped on him and gave him a huge hug.

This can't be real she thought This isn't real. But she didn't care that it didn't make sense. All she knew is that Jack was standing right here kissing her and he wasn't dead. "Oh Rose," he said, beginning to cry with her, "I love you, Rose!" he exclaimed as he kissed her over and over again. Rose's stomach was leaping and she felt happier than she had ever felt in her entire life. She melted into his arms, thanking God, thinking to herself, God grant me the serenity…