III. Another Heart Calls
Summary: Sam rediscovers what its like to need a woman to love him as well as what it means to have him love her back.
Author's Note: For WebofDreams89.
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own Sam or Dean Winchester. Another Heart Calls is copyrighted by The All-American Rejects.
Do you remember when we didn't care
We were just two kids that took the moment when it was there
Do you remember you at all
Another heart calls
Years had passed since the last time he had seen her. In fact, it had been nearly a decade since the last time he laid eyes on her long crimson locks and wide, chocolaty eyes. In her opinion, it had been far too long. After all, even at seventeen years old, he had been a handsome boy with exceedingly nice shoulders. And boy, was she a sucker for shoulders.
He had made promises he knew that he couldn't keep, had told her blatant lies about himself and his feelings for her, but seeing her now made him change his mind. Maybe he had loved her. Maybe he had wanted to stay there with her, forever. He couldn't quite remember, but the sudden nausea in his stomach was a sure sign that there was something there between them now.
She didn't mind that he had forgotten. In fact, she was slightly surprised he recognized her at all. She was surprised to see him there, of that she was positive. She would have never guessed that Sam Winchester had become a "paranormal investigator", a regular Fox Mulder. He had grown up to be even easier on the eyes than she had remembered, and their time together in high school was a mere nothing in comparison to the time they were going to spend together now.
She was especially grateful that his pesky brother Dean was with his own 'babe of a girlfriend' in God-knows-where, because, if she remembered correctly, he had more than once ruined her chances at getting laid. And that wasn't going to happen, not this time. You see, it wasn't only her heart that had been aching for him all these years.
Yeah I remember when we stole the night
We'd lie awake but dreaming 'til the sun would wash the sky
Sam could now remember all the things that she had brought up as they sat on the cold, metal benches of their mutual high school's football stadium, sharing a couple of beers and a plethora of old memories that had, in Sam's mind at least, been covered in inches of dust and years of spider webs. Now that they were back, he had wished they had never gone away. His heart skipped a beat as he glanced over at her face, which was illuminated by the security lights behind them, as she stared off to the west. The sun was setting in shades of gold, and it was, quite honestly, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"Do you remember that time we laid down there, all night?" She asked, softly. The beer in her hand fizzed in its glass chamber as she took a long, smooth gulp.
He nodded, slowly, "That was the first time someone told me they loved me that wasn't my dad or Dean."
She laughed softly, "I can't imagine Dean telling you he loved you. He doesn't approve of 'chick flick' moments, I remember that much."
She glanced over at him as one of those beautiful, wide smiles spread over his facial features; she had always loved it when he smiled.
"I told you I loved you too," He said, suddenly, "And then Dean found us there --"
"In a rather compromising position, I might add," She laughed again, "Your brother always ruined everything."
Sam leaned back and folded his arms across his broad chest, "He still does."
"He's not here to ruin it now," She remarked and he almost gave himself whiplash as he turned to look at her.
Just as soon as I see you
But didn't I, but didn't I tell you
As deep as I need you,
You wanna leave it all
She laid there, her red hair messy and tangled, with her head on his chest tracing lines down his muscled abdomen with pale, slender fingers. She wanted to tell him all the things she had never been able to. She wanted to tell him how much she needed him after his father and brother once again up rooted him to another high school, another town. She wanted to tell him that she still needed him now, that the problems from her past caused by an alcoholic father and a lethargic mother, were still there, were still haunting her. And he was the only thing that had made her feel whole again. He was the only thing that had made her feel human again.
He stirred beneath her and somehow, she knew he wouldn't stay too much longer. He would leave, to meet up with his brother in Kansas, or Arkansas, or Ohio, and she wouldn't see him again for another decade. She didn't know if she could live without him, but she knew she didn't want to. She only wanted to see him, to touch him, to hear his voice at the very least, every day for the rest of her life. But, how would he, the boy who had evaded her so long ago, take to that? How do you explain to someone that you had loved them even in their absence, even though you knew that they had lied to you?
She glanced upward, and saw that his hazel eyes were open, examining the world around him; the world being no more than a 13 by 10 ft. bedroom in an average sized apartment not even two blocks from their old high school. The walls were a cheery yellow color, a failed attempt at making the optimism she had once had as a child come back. The floors were a sustainable Bamboo and were currently littered with their long discarded attire that likely still held the scent of beer.
He kissed her forehead as she laid her head back down, causing her to inadvertently return to the real world, "Has any one called?"
He was already thinking of leaving.
She shook her head in response, and in a matter of minutes was not surprised to see him get up, pulling on his boxers and pants as he did so. They were barely hanging on to his hips as he dialed his brother. She only caught bits and pieces of his conversation, but she could hear enough to know that he couldn't leave, not yet at least; Dean wouldn't let him, he wanted to stay with his "girlfriend" for another day or two.
"Yeah Dean, but we have work to do." Sam said, irritably. There was a pause, "No, no. Okay! I'll stay here then. Yeah, call me when you've had your fill of 'mind-blowing sex'." The last few words came off sharp, sarcastic even, and caused her to smirk. Sam came back in the room.
There was silence for a while, and in a quick bit of judgment, Quinn finally told Sam what she had been wanting to since she had first laid eyes on him in that cheap, black suit.
"You're the only person who's been able to make me feel human for years," She blurted ineloquently as she stared up at him with her innocent brown eyes. He looked at her strangely, wondering how he of all people could make her feel human.
And then she began to cry, and Sam couldn't help himself. He had to find out what was wrong, what had been wrong since he had left nearly ten years ago.
Sam and Dean's lives looked like a fairy tale compared to what she had gone through, from the fighting parents to the death of her grandmother, and it all seemed to fall apart right after he left her life. He wasn't surprised when she told him that she needed him; he knew she was still holding on to the shred of hope that some one, anyone could be her hero.
"But that doesn't change the fact that I still have to leave," He said, giving her one of the serious looks she had remembered so vividly. They were the same words he had used a decade ago, and they broke her heart all over again.
What can I do?
Say it's true
Or everything that matters breaks in two
Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you"Please, don't look at me like that," He said, his facial expression softening after figuring out that he had hurt her feelings. Usually his brother was the insensitive one, but Sam was sounding more and more like the old Dean. "What else can I do?"
"Say that it's true; tell me that you love me back. Tell me you've thought of me...anything," The red-head replied, urging the giant of a man before her to at least give her some feign of hope.
"And if I don't?" Sam asked, trying not to sound like an asshole and knowing that he wasn't succeeding.
"My world will come crashing down," She replied. She slowly began to realize that maybe he never did feel the same way about her. Maybe she had poor judgment about him as she had about almost every other male she had ever cared for. Maybe he was just a big jerk, like his brother and probably also like his father. What if he couldn't help her?
Talk to me
I'm throwing myself in front of you
This could be the last mistake
That I would ever wanna do
Yeah all I ever do is give
It's time you see my point of view
"Sam, say something." She demanded.
This was all too fast for him. She still didn't know anything about him. Quinn would never know about Jessica, and how much it had broke his heart to see her dying right before his eyes. She would never know what it was like to not escape the expectations that your parents had made for you. Even though he would never admit it out loud, he still believed Jessica was "the one". He had wanted to marry her, had wanted her to have his children. Sammy had wanted to have a family of his own, a settled family, a normal family. Now that he knew that was an impossibility of the highest sort, Sam hadn't even thought of finding another woman like Jessica.
But, did he care for the woman sitting in front of him? Yes, he did.
"Sam," She said softly. Her voice was quiet, wavering, as if she knew that there would never be an answer. The look in her eyes told him that she believed that he was a jerk.
He sat down beside her and as he did so, he decided that he would tell her everything. He would tell her everything he could never tell Dean or his Dad or Bobby. He would tell her about Jessica, about Madison, about Ruby. He could only hope that he could make her understand the way he wanted her to. He could only hope that she would be gracious, forgiving.
"This could be the biggest mistake of my life, but I'm going to put myself on the line for you," Sam began.
He told her about how he had basically given up his life for the 'family business', how his life was now dedicated to the hunt. He told her that he still secretly hoped that the war would end, and that he would be able to have the 'normal' life he had always dreamed of. He told her how he hoped that Dean could find a family and have a home for the first time in his life. He told her everything he could think of, and when he was through, he felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted from his shoulders.
Just as soon as I see you
But didn't I, but didn't I tell you
As deep as I need you,
You wanna leave it all
"Dude!" The younger brother exclaimed as he found his older brother's girlfriend next to him in the Impala, "What is this?"
Dean grinned, "Spring break."
"Oh, God," Sam remarked, smacking a hand to his forehead in frustration as he wondered if Dean was dropped on his head as a baby.
"What?"
"Spring Break? Dean, you're thirty one. You're too old to be going on Spring Break. Besides 'we have a job to do'." Sammy was most obviously mocking his older brother, who had at one time lived, breathed, and all but fucked his 'career'. Dean seemed unfazed however.
"Shut up Sammy, and live a little." Dean replied, "Besides, we can bring your friend with us."
Dean gestured to the red head who was longingly staring after Sammy, expecting him to leave her behind again. Sammy looked over his shoulder back at the woman he had spent almost three weeks with.
What can I do?
Say it's true
Or everything that matters breaks in two
Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you
But I know what you want is to figure it out
And god knows I do too
What can I do?
Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you
"Do you want to come with us?" Sammy asked, sitting on the porch beside Quinn. Dean and Ross were busy making out on the hood of the Impala from where it sat in the driveway.
"Well, that all depends, Sam."
"Depends on?" Sammy questioned, staring at her as she stared at his brother in disgust.
"Whether or not they're going to be doing that the whole trip," She replied, resting her head on one of those amazing shoulders of his.
"I make no promises, but at least we'll get a chance to figure each other out," Sam said, wrapping an arm around the woman.
"How can I say no to that?" She asked, "God knows I need a chance to figure you out Sam Winchester."
He smiled again, "Maybe we should go before they start having sex right in front of your whole neighborhood."
"Maybe; I don't think old widow Jamison would like that too much," Quinn replied, "Won't I need... um, clothes?"
Sam laughed, "That might be a good idea, but hurry and pack -- I don't know what it might be like out here in five minutes."
Quinn laughed as she went back inside to pack her bags, and as Sammy stood, he felt weak in the knees for the first time since Jessica. Maybe, Sammy thought, just maybe this was going to end up filling the void that Jess had left behind. It was a far stretch, but it was a hope, and that was more than Sam had had for a long time.