Curiosity Causes Confusion

Tamao's POV

Another boring meeting: The only excitement was the discussion about the School Play. There were a number of different ideas banded about and I added my own. I'm sure Nagisa mentioned she had a couple of ideas as well, so I volunteered to check her room to see if she'd left any notes. It's unlikely, but as she won't be back for a few more days it seemed too good a chance to investigate her room.

I should really be more focused on Council stuff but the thought of being in Nagisa's room is consuming my attention; for perfectly legitimate reasons of course: Oh ho. I suppose it is prying, but like so many 'sins' it's one which I believe is open to breaking when necessary. Nothing should be an absolute. Perhaps not even love, although my heart feels otherwise. Somehow with Nagisa away and that women long gone I can pretend to myself that things might play out differently. That we could go back to what we had all so briefly last year, before my precious Nagisa's heart was fully bewitched.

I cried more times last year than the rest of my years put together, and all over her.

The Council holds skeleton keys for all rooms in case of emergency and in Nagisa's absence I'm authorised to decide when their use is necessary. So holding the long brass key I continue to move gracefully down the quiet West Wing corridor, back towards our rooms; my shiny black, buckle strapped shoes clicking loudly with each step against the polished wooden floor.

I take a deep breath outside Nagisa's room, at the corridor end. This term I've barely set foot in here. Clenching the bronze key in my right hand I raise it to the door and slide it into the lock. The lock is old and takes some persuading to accept the spare key but soon gives way.

My heart is beating so fast. Why? Well I suppose my motives aren't all that pure for entering even if the Council have sanctioned them so. Perhaps it's this sort of inherent wickedness I'm being punished for in being parted from one so pure? If so God certainly has an ironic sense of humour. But then the fact he made me with a personality so curious and mischievous means he has a lot to answer for...and I like that I have those traits in any event! So if this is punishment then he can go burn himself!

Feeling calmer I twist the key three hundred and sixty degrees clockwise and turn the doorknob. The door silently slides inwards to reveal a large, bright and untidy room.

To the right is Nagisa's double poster bed. Cream curtains are drawn back and the duvet is folded but scarred by ridges of crumples and creases, giving the job a rushed look. In truth she probably took a fair amount of time to fold it...An image of Nagisa fighting to get the duvet into a shape approaching neatness fills my mind, safe to say there's a good amount of flailing. She's so cute I can't help but chuckle at the image.

Mt hands itch to fold it properly, as they do to organise the papers and books that appear to have gone on meandering walks of inspiration, followed by a late lunch and siesta among the crumb covered, oak panelled floor. The President and Vice-President traditionally had a maid. Heck, go back ten years and the whole school had maids. But recent times, even for a rich school like ours, has meant a cutback in staff. Nagisa ended the final maid service for her and I as it wasn't fair on the rest of the school (and I suspect Nagisa was not entirely comfortable having someone else clean her room either). A handful of those maids remain on in similar roles, but looking after the public areas of the school.

Still the result is that people like Nagisa (who should be setting an example!) have rooms that are staggeringly untidy. If my mum saw my room like this!? Perhaps I'm just OCD but it takes me a lot of effort to get to her desk by the window opposite the door without re-arranging just one pile of books...or grabbing a dust pan and brush and attacking the floor. Of course last year I was free to tidy whenever I wanted to...

This is a mission of stealth though. On Nagisa's desk there are a number of scrawled notes, in her elegantly scruffy twirls, fanned out on the right hand side: A plain wooden tube containing the fountain and quill pens sits behind them, attached to a wooden inkwell covered by a bronze clipped wooden lid with oak patterned swirls.

I glance at the notes, they appear to be on work rather than ideas for the school play. On the left hand side of her desk sits a jar of light pink liquid containing five incense sticks. Drawing near and breathing in deeply with eyes closed I can make out the sweet smell of jasmine. I wonder briefly what Nagisa smells like now? A year ago when we slept side by side it was lavender, her warmth comforting and the smell soothing...now? Guh. I really might be some sort of pervert.

I glance at the right hand draw. Maybe the notes I'm looking for are in there? I grip the smooth wooden handle and pull it open. It slides open so smoothly I almost pull the entire draw out. Steady. There's a writing pad on top. I pull it out to look beneath and stop. I can see the faint imprint of writing from Nagisa's last letter and squinting hard I can see it starts 'Dear Shizuna,'

I collapse into the cushioned wooden chair in front of the desk, gripping the note with both hands: Masochistically prepared to suffer for my minds relentless curiosity.

'It's been over a month since I've heard from you. I hope you are well? As I haven't heard if it is okay to come see you I will be coming in a week's time. I miss you Shizuna. I hope to hear from you soon, because without you here and being able to hear from you it's hard. Your warmth...'

I should not be doing this. Even I know that. And its not like I'm getting any pleasure from hearing Nagisa go on about Shizuna. Or that Nagisa's hurting. Are, I believe I'm crying: My throat and chest feel curiously tight. How are the edges of this hot?

Steps! Her Steps!

Is this a nightmarish trick of my mind? But no! They're close to the door and I in my oblivion have noticed far too late. I shove the notepad onto the desk then realising I should have put it in the draw, hastily shove it inside. I kick the draw shut anyway, in a most unladylike manner, as a key rattles uselessly in the door and then the door itself swings open.

Thanks for the reviews :D It's not often I get to end off on such a cliffhanger, how will Nagisa - if it is Nagisa - react?