Shorter chapter today, and a bit darker. I apologize in advance.

alix33: Welcome to this story, glad to see you here as well :) I love the idea of Hedwig beating Harry in a game of cards :D

Past and Future

"It's from Ron!" Harry exclaimed as he sat down again with the letter in his hand. Hedwig joined Errol on the kitchen cupboard. The Weasley owl had arrived on his first day in Birch Cottage with an enormous fruit cake and several pasties, Molly Weasley's answer to his plea for help. Harry felt slightly guilty since he didn't really need the food anymore, but Sirius had insisted it was a lifesaver until they could get Lupin to cook proper food, not the frugal live-off-one-pound-a-day stuff he had offered so far. (Sirius' wording)

"If they're asking whether their owl died tell them yes and we'll buy them a new one. That piece of rags is just sad." Sirius looked over to Errol, who still hadn't recovered from his journey despite being here for three days now.

"We're not going kill their bird, Sirius," Lupin said from the stove, where he was cooking porridge. "And don't insult other people's property, that owl is perfectly capable of carrying letters."

Sirius snorted. "You take it, then. Fits your robes and your cooking."

Harry, having gotten quite used to their bickering by now, ignored them and opened the letter.

Harry

You're living with Sirius and Lupin? How awesome is that! I mean, it must be really weird living with a teacher, but Lupin is cool. And anything is better than the Dursleys, I bet. Where does he live? Can I come visit you?

Mum was a bit shocked when she heard; I think she's scared of Lupin now that she knows he's a werewolf. But we told her he was the best teacher ever, and that he was friends with your dad and everything, and I think I convinced her not to start a rescue mission. The only problem is, I think Percy might have let something slip to his boss – he works at the ministry now – so they might come looking. But that's alright, isn't it? I mean it's not like you're there illegally… I'm really sorry, anyway. I got Fred and George to send dragon dung into Percy's office for revenge, the traitorous git.

Ron

Harry looked up. "I think the ministry knows I'm here."

There was a clattering noise as Lupin dropped the kettle into the sink. "What?"

Harry flinched back at his sharp tone. "Erm…Ron – Ron's brother, Percy. He works at the ministry now, and apparently he told his boss. I'm sorry; I told Ron it should be kept secret, and I don't think Mr Weasley told anybody. But Percy…well." Harry had never liked Percy as much as the other Weasleys, and his absolute insistence on correctness and rules was the main reason.

"That little rat," Sirius hissed, setting his toast down. "I thought the Weasleys were decent."

"They are!" Harry exclaimed. No matter what he thought about Percy, he was far too grateful for everything the Weasleys had done for him to let anybody speak badly of him, not even Sirius.

"Of course they are," Lupin quickly stepped in. "And I can't really blame him. The idea of a fourteen year old boy living with a werewolf…"

"Oh shut up, Moony," Sirius interrupted him, "it's not like you're letting him stay with you during the full moon. It's none of anybody's business."

"Still," Lupin continued, ignoring his friend's anger. "We should prepare for some ministry snooping. I think it would be best if you cleared your bed every morning, and shut away your clothes somewhere safe. An extra sleeping place will be hard to explain if they come round to search the place. I'll install some additional wards, so we'll be warned in time. And for Merlin's sake, don't wander about in human form."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sure thing, Dad." But he went upstairs nonetheless, twirling his wand that Lupin had retrieved from his vault for him two days ago.

"I'm sorry," Harry said quietly when his godfather had disappeared. "I didn't want to make things harder for you."

Lupin merely smiled at him. "Don't worry, Harry. They'll make a fuss, but we haven't broken any laws. There's nothing they can do, really."

Harry didn't feel terribly relieved, and the weary look in Lupin's eyes told him that the werewolf wasn't quite convinced either. But he decided to drop the topic, asking instead: "Do you think Ron could come and visit? He was asking." He felt oddly excited. During his childhood he had never had friends to ask over to his place, even if the Dursleys would have allowed it.

Lupin hesitated, and the smile disappeared. Immediately Harry regretted his words. This was still Lupin's place; surely it was rude asking to have guests over when he himself was a guest. "Sorry. I mean, I just thought…" He trailed off just as the smile returned to Lupin's face, slightly more forced than before.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Harry. His parents will hardly be thrilled."

Harry's mouth fell open as he realized why Lupin was hesitating. "Because you're a werewolf? But you were our teacher!"

Lupin looked at the window, not meeting Harry's gaze. "Yes, and a lot of people are very upset about that."

"For Merlin's sake, not the werewolf thing again." Sirius interrupted them, obviously having cleared his room. "What's he beating himself up over now?"

Lupin didn't answer, so Harry said carefully: "Ron asked if he could visit."

Immediately Sirius started grinning. "Sure! Great idea!" He took a look at Lupin, and added: "Ignore Moony's pouting, he does that. Just tell Ron to send us an owl whenever he wants to come, and we'll open up the floo."

Harry looked over to Lupin uncertainly, but the werewolf didn't argue any further, seemingly having accepted Sirius' decision.

It was an odd relationship between the two Marauders, Harry had found. They were undeniably close, closer than he and Ron despite not having seen each other for over a decade. They bickered a lot, like Ron and Hermoine, but obviously on purpose and more light-hearted. Yet at other times they were extremely respectful towards each other, almost as if they were afraid to hurt the other one. Harry was usually taken by surprise by the sudden changes, but he supposed they knew each other well enough to know when joking was appropriate and when it wasn't. Harry couldn't help but smile at the thought that he was now part of this. They were his family now. And it was a better family then he could ever have wished for.

It had been strange at first, living with adults who didn't despise him, and also didn't treat him overly careful as a guest like the Weasleys did. Sirius and Lupin were just… there. They had breaktfast together, usually prepared by Lupin, who seemed to be up at dawn every day, and after they'd read, play cards, go for a walk, and just do normal things. Sometimes they flew around the garden (much to Buckbeak's annoyance, who was kept on a leash so he wouldn't fly off), or go down to the nearest village for some groceries. One time they even went to Diagon Alley, to buy clothes for Sirius (and Harry, because Sirius insisted that no godson of his would be allowed to walk around in the baggy hand-me-downs of his obnoxious cousin). They played chess, usually him and Sirius against Lupin, in a desperate attempt to beat him at least once, something that, the werewolf claimed, the other Marauders had actually tried (and failed) to do since their first year in Hogwarts.

All in all, it was just how Harry had imagined normal children spent their summer holidays, children who didn't dread going home, to whom "Good morning" instead of a disdainful stare and a warning to comb their hair was perfectly normal.

"You think they'll make him go back to the muggles?" Remus looked up from the book he'd been reading as Sirius entered with two glasses and a bottle of Firewhisky. He frowned at that; Harry had gone to bed half an hour ago yet it didn't seem very responsible to get drunk with him in the house to possibly witness it. And Sirius had a worrying tendency to not stop until the bottle was dry, as Remus had noticed over the past few weeks. But today he was too exhausted to really care, and so he accepted the glass without comment.

"They'll try," he said, putting his book down. "Right now there's nothing they can legally do. But laws can be changed, and the mood is certainly right for that. Did you read what that Umbridge woman wrote in this morning's prophet? "

"That was supposed to be an article? There was so much shit in it I thought they had accidentally sent out toilet paper."

Remus rolled his eyes, taking another sip. Sirius had never taken all that anti-werewolf legislation very seriously. He complained about it, called the ministry racists pigs and worse, but he never really understood Remus' worry. It probably came with being a Black, who never had to care too much about the ministry as they had enough money to lead pretty much any life wanted and a name that would get them anything money didn't.

"You'd think it had gotten better after the war," Sirius mused, pouring himself another glass. "That they had actually understood why so many werewolves joined Voldemort."

"The attacks didn't stop after he was dead," Remus said, remembering that there was a lot that Sirius had missed. "They actually got worse, because many of the werewolves panicked and abandoned Greyback. Vicious murderer that he is, he did keep them in one place, and their attacks were focused. On their own, most didn't have a place to stay, and even those who didn't plan to attack anyone ended up doing so because they just transformed anywhere. On the first full moon after, I think there were almost a hundred casualties, most of them muggle. There was a huge outcry of course, demanding they do something, hunt them… Next month, the culling started."

He stared into the fire. It felt odd talking about this. It was deeply personal for himself, yet he had never discussed it with anybody. After all, it was public knowledge – unless you had been in Azkaban for twelve years.

"The Aurors didn't even distinguish who was guilty and who wasn't; they just killed any werewolf they found. Once they realized what was going on, most of them panicked, of course. Greyback tried to gather them, fight back, but most of them didn't even have wands, and they had no chance. The ministry almost halved the werewolf population in just three months, and a lot of the rest fled to the continent to escape. Once the anger had died down and people learned just how brutal the ministry had acted – there was this case of a twelve-year-old boy who had been hiding in his parents' basement when they killed him – the culling was halted, and they fired a few people. But there're still a lot of people who view it as a missed opportunity, saying that they should've "cured" us of lycantrophy once and for all."

When he had finished, Sirius was silent for a while. Then he emptied his glass, poured himself another and emptying it as well before letting out a string of loud curses that Remus prayed didn't wake up Harry.

"Merlin's fucking pants," Sirius finally growled. "And I always thought it was the good guys who won the war."

Remus shrugged. "They panicked. Everyone thought the war was won, and then suddenly people were dying again…it didn't help that the attack on Alice and Frank was just a few days prior, and everyone was shocked already."

Sirius face darkened, and Remus winced. He had had thirteen years to come to terms with the fact that their friends spent their lives as empty shells, but for Sirius it was still raw.

"What did you do?" the animagus asked after a long silence.

"I wasn't in the country; I had left a day after the funeral. Didn't feel like celebrating." It had been almost unbearable, watching the wizarding world rejoicing victory when to him, the war had been lost.

"Should have come visited me, then. Azkaban had the right mood." Sirius laughed bitterly. "Where'd you go?"

Remus shrugged. "Continent. Eastern Europe mostly, travelling around. They've got a lot of dark creatures in the rural parts, and I usually found someone who could spare some knuts to get rid of the odd boggart or kappa. Not the most glamorous life but it kept me alive." He rolled his eyes at Sirius' disbelieving look. "I was never going to have a proper career, was I? And it was good, really – the countryside was empty enough I could always find a safe spot to transform, and they don't prosecute werewolves as much over there. Also, the booze's cheap."

Sirius stared at him. "So you just drunkenly wandered around Russia? What happened to…I don't know, finding a girl? Starting a family?"

Remus actually laughed at that. "A family? I'm an unemployed werewolf who can't rub two sickles together. I was never going to start a family. And after what happened, after James, Lily…and Peter and you… there wasn't really any future to think of. I just wanted it all to go away. And I nearly managed to, a few times. If werewolves didn't have this ridiculous alcohol tolerance I wouldn't be sitting here."

It felt odd, talking about those days openly; years that he was so ashamed of he had never really told anybody about that. Not that he had had anybody to talk to about it.

Sirius didn't answer for a moment. "Sorry," he finally said. "I never really thought about what it must have been like for you. I just figured…I dunno, the war was over, you still had friends in the order… it sort of helped, to know that at least one of us still had a life."

Remus took another deep gulp from his glass. "It shouldn't have been me," he said after a while, "That's what I was thinking, all those years. It should have been James and Lily, or you, or Peter. People who actually had a future. Somehow I never saw myself living past the war. We lost people all the time, and I was always certain that it'd be my turn soon. And it felt good, knowing that it wouldn't be for nothing, that I might save other people. That my death would be worth at least something. I never figured out what to do if I didn't die. Still haven't, really."

Silence descended again, and for a while they just stared into the fire, wordlessly passing the bottle to fill another glass. Remus hadn't even noticed when Sirius had summoned the second one from the kitchen.

"Urgh, this has gotten way too morbid," Sirius finally breathed, voiced distinctively slurred. "What made you come back to England?"

Remus chuckled darkly. "Not exactly a topic to raise the mood, I'm afraid. It was Dad; he took pretty much the same approach to dealing with peacetime as I did, with the disadvantage of not having werewolf genes. Finally managed to drink himself to death about five years after the war ended."

"Shit. I'm sorry, Moony, I didn't-"

Remus hastily waved his apology away. "Don't be. I wasn't, at least not really. You didn't see him much after he and Mum separated, but he didn't exactly take it well. That, and me being…well, what I am. I should have tried to help him, stop him from getting that bad, but with the Order work and everything…" He shrugged again. "By the time it was all over he was too far gone already. Visited him once before I left, but he ended up throwing me out. Next time I saw him was in a coffin."

"Fuck. I mean, I knew he had a drinking problem, but…" Sirius threw a disdainful look at the half filled whisky glass in his hand, before shrugging and drinking from it anyway.

"My parents had the courtesy of dying while I was locked up. Which means that Grimmauld Place is actually mine now," he shuddered, taking another sip. "I was thinking about burning it down if I ever get pardoned. Or maybe sell it to some muggles if I can get rid of all the dark shit they put on it. That should keep them spinning in their graves."

Remus saw a hateful shimmer springing into his friend's eyes, one he had seen there many times right before some poor Slytherin found himself with a swollen head. He tentatively took the bottle and placed it out of Sirius reach.

But the anger vanished as soon as it had come. "What about your Mum, then? Still seeing that banker?"

Remus nodded wistfully, staring into the fire. "Married him, actually. They live up in Yorkshire now. Haven't been to visit in ages, but we write. I think it's easier for her that way."

His mother was a muggle, who had come into contact with the magical world when a boggart attacked her in the woods. And although his father saved her, and assured her that there was never any real danger, this rather unpromising start was followed up by a much more traumatic incident when her son was bitten, leaving her to raise a monster.

Remus knew that even though she loved his father, Hope Lupin had always regretted entering his world, a world that to her eyes was filled with terrors and nightmares. And when Remus had left school, moving away from his parents, she had left as well. His father hadn't taken it well, even though he hadn't tried to stop her – after all, with Voldemort on the rise the wizarding world wasn't a safe place for a muggle anymore.

Remus had still stayed in contact with his mother, but he knew she feared him, feared his world and what he became every month, and so he had distanced himself, glad that she had found a second chance for happiness in the muggle world.

Sirius nodded slowly, and they both went back to their own thoughts.

"You know that's bullshit, don't you?" Sirius suddenly said, and Remus jerked up, almost having dozed off.

"What is?" he asked, confused.

"What you said earlier, about you having no future. You have a life. You have a house, you have me and Harry, and there's no reason why you shouldn't get yourself a girl. I mean, I'm depending on you here; I can't really go out and do it myself, can I? Gotta live vicariously through you."

Remus snorted. "Give it a rest, Padfoot. I'm happy with what I got, really." He smiled at his friend. "It's good to have you back."

For a moment Sirius' seemed to return the smile, then his face distorted into a sneer. "Urgh, you get terribly sentimental when you're drunk, Moony. Go to bed, this is embarrassing."

Remus had to laugh, genuinely, for the first time that night, and rose to his feet. "Don't pass out on the floor; Harry might see you in the morning."

"Fuck off, werewolf."

Yes. He really had missed his friend.

Some of Remus' backstory was taken from Pottermore, though his parents' divorce and everythign past that is my interpretation. I do apologize for the grimness of it all. It'll get lighter from now on, I promise!

As always, reviews are more than welcome :)