Memories of the Writer! Ch3

Somewhere on the edge of the Plain of Plainness...

Wolfie: "We're here!"

Miku: "Wow... it's..."

Luka: "Please, don't say 'plain.'"

Miku: "I was going to say 'bland.'"

Luka: "Yeah right!"

Miku: "But I was!"

Wolfie: "Nobody will believe you, trust me, just let it go Miku, the same thing happened to me last chapter with my plans."

Miku: "Yeah but..." Sighs, "Fine."

Rin: "So how long should it take us to cross the plain?"

Wolfie: "About one chapter."

Len: "So we'd better get going then."

Miku: "Right, everyone on the roadroller!"

Everyone climbs on, as Rin starts the engine, and the machine trundles along.

Misty: "I'm just going to be suddenly and uncharacteristically clever, and ask this... why can't we go through a plot hole?"

Wolfie: "Because there aren't any!"

Misty: "What?"

Wolfie: "Look, everything in this story makes perfect sense! We're just a misfit group of people at varying degrees of insanity hurrying to get to a plane of yandere characters before one of them becomes an all-powerful rapist."

Misty: "Would you like to continue making my point for me?"

Miku: "Actually, for once, Wolfie has a point."

Wolfie: Frowning, "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

Miku: Smiling, "You're welcome."

Misty: "Anyway, there must be a plot hole somewhere!"

Wolfie: "Look, if there were a plot hole in the right place, then it would cause another plot hole, because there would be no journeying element to our story. Because that plot hole would also connect to its source, it would also connect to the location, thus causing another plot hole, and so on. In the end, if this does occur, the existence of so many plot holes in one place causes a plot-space disruption, removing all plot holes."

Misty: "So what you're saying is that plot holes can't be used to do anything useful for the main party."

Wolfie: "Unless the plot dictates it."

Misty: "Right... I'll just pretend that your explanation made sense, and live with it. So excuse me while I bash my head repeatedly against the roadroller. If I kill enough of my brain, that might actually make sense."

Wolfie: "Trust me, you have to kill a lot of your brain before that sort of thing will make sense."

Misty: "So how much of your brain have you killed?"

Wolfie: "None of it, I only said that 'you' would have to kill a lot of your brain for it to make sense."

Misty: "Again, that makes so much sense."

Wolfie: "Well sorry if you can't comprehend my awesomeness."

Misty: "I... give up."

Wolfie: "Probably just as well."

Miku: "So is anything actually going to happen, or are we just going to argue the entire way to the Gatetown of Yandere?"

Wolfie: "Well... aside from Tsukone, there aren't any actual enemies to fight. I mean... she doesn't have any supporters."

Mysterious Voice: "That's where you're wrong!"

Wolfie: Pulling out a shotgun and firing in the direction of the voice, "I won't be for very long."

Misty: "Wolfie! It's extremely rude to shoot the guy with the mysterious voice before he introduces himself!"

Wolfie: "Look, given what usually happens when we meet a 'Mysterious Voice' and what he just said, I think I was justified!"

Miku: "Um, guys, can we have this argument later, and take a look at the guy with the mysterious voice, WHO SURVIVED BEING SHOT AT POINT BLANK!"

Everyone looks at the mysterious figure, who stands tall and proud, in spite of several wounds.

Figure: "I have come on behalf of Len's more extreme fangirls, to kidnap him and take him to our leader Tei Sukone! My name is Alice Margatriod!"

Wolfie: "Don't you mean Margatroid?"

Alice: "NO! I'm not that puppet girl who's rather too interested in Marissa! Why does everyone always get us confused?"

Wolfie: "Do I really need to answer that question?"

Alice: "No... please don't."

Wolfie: "Anyway, so you're going to attempt to kidnap Len from under my nose, and get him to Sukone. Do you not realise that Sukone will then just *censored* him, potentially after having killed off all his other fangirls, so that there isn't any competition?"

Alice: "Of course she wouldn't! We're all in this together to get Len and *censored* him together, without cessation."

Len: "Oh gods... please, somebody protect me please!"

Rin: "Don't worry Lenny! I won't let them take you from me!" Turns the roadroller towards Alice, who takes the initiative to step out the way of the slow machine, "Damn you! Stay still!"

Alice: "I'm here to take Len! And there's no way you can stop me!"

Wolfie: "Really?" Two wings sprout from his back, as he draws his sword, "You will not enjoy this, but it will be over quickly." Flies at Alice, who draws a longsword.

Alice: "Ha! I've had better battles with my six-year old sister. I don't need a big sword when fighting such a weak mister."

Misty: "Has anyone noticed that the rap they're para-quoting doesn't even exist yet when this is set?"

Lumi: "Do you think they care?"

Misty: "Probably not."

Alice and Wolfie continue fighting, swords clashing, as they unleash hell.

Alice: Lunging at Wolfie, "You will lose Wolfie!"

Wolfie: Blocking Alice's sword, "Honestly, do you really think you stand a chance?"

Alice: "Well, yeah."

Wolfie: "And why?"

Alice: "Because I've trained my entire life to fight."

Wolfie: "Right, but, at the risk of sounding cliché, there's something you forgot."

Alice: Looking surprised, "What?"

Wolfie: "I'm the MOTHERF***ING WRITER!" Slashes, cleaving Alice's sword in two, then slashing up, almost cutting Alice in half.

Alice: "How... is this possible?"

Wolfie: Sheathing his sword, "You should never screw with the guy writing the story. There's only one person here allowed to screw with me."

Alice: "And who the hell is that?"

Wolfie: "The one I wish to make my waifu."

Alice: "Oh... ahaha... it's funny... 'cause you said 'screw' and meant 'screw' in the other sense..." Dies.

Wolfie: "Dying explaining a joke is a pretty bad way to go. Especially when it was a bad joke to begin with." Turns to where the roadroller has slowly progressed a few hundred feet further, and flies over to it.

Misty: "Well that was a pathetic battle."

Wolfie: "Well it is only chapter 3, we can't have any really major battles yet."

Miku: "What were you saying to her at the end, I heard something about screwing with you, but not much else."

Wolfie: Blushing, "Er... nothing important."

Miku: "Oh, if you're sure."

Let's take yet another look into the characters' minds.

Wolfie's Mind: 'I wish I could find the will to tell you... you can screw with me any time.'

Miku's Mind: 'I just hope that it was to do with me... wait... why would I hope that? It's n-not l-like I like him or anything.'

Everyone Else's Minds: 'Rearrange the following: room a get f***ing.'

Bis Bald

BW