A Tale of Three Phases

I felt the sensation of being pushed to a wall as the ever so perfect blond bishonen (who has never failed to disgust me) did just that, push me into the wall. Thankfully, I wasn't facing the wall as that would probably damage my handsome face. Wouldn't want that to happen, nuh-uh. I wouldn't be able to advertise myself as a very capable house husband without my handsome face now would I? It's the ugly truth! If you don't have the deepest pockets that can impress any woman, then your best bet of getting married is by having a handsome face (having a well-toned body won't hurt either). Your personality and talents? They only come to play at a later stage of a relationship. There's a reason why the saying goes 'love at first sight'. It may be an unfair truth, but hey, fair is not really the standard in this world.

Doesn't change the fact that it hurts though considering the force he applied into, oh I don't know, pushing me to the wall? What even warranted this action of his? I haven't been interacting with this piece of work or his 'friends' these past days! I don't think I deserve this treatment! If his only justification for this is that because the Alpha (being him in this case) can do whatever he wants with the Beta (being me in this case… not that I agree with it though. Who decides these things anyway?!), then I will make sure to give him a piece of my mind. And I'm telling you, what I have in my mind isn't exactly what you call pleasant.

"Why did you do it?" asked the perfect-wannabe pretty boy, frustration accompanying his voice.

I arched up one of my eyebrows at that.

Do what exactly? I mentally asked but I'm pretty sure that that question is showing on my face right now as evidenced by the follow-up question that the piece of work has thrown at me.

"Are you really that stupid to not notice?" he asked further, frustration even becoming more evident.

Uh-huh. Answer a question with another question. That sure does settle things doesn't it? Although technically, I really didn't throw him a question since I never said anything, so… meh.

I decided not to give him a verbal response still. Afterall, while I have a vague idea of why this guy has dragged me here, I am not entirely sure of what his purpose is doing this, whatever this is.

"You're just pretending to be stupid aren't you?" the guy asked another, but this time, with a tone of defeat.

…what? What need is there for me to do that? People already consider me as someone stupid without me having to exert even the tiniest of efforts into 'pretending' to be one. Stupid society. Just because I 'look stupid' doesn't mean that I am stupid. I am consistently third in ranking for the entire humanities subjects. Heck, I bet that if I try harder, I'd be able to beat even the first ranked individual, whoever that is (HINT: It's Yukinoshita Yukino). Recently, I'm not doing badly with the sciences. Not top rank material, but at least above average. So yeah, I am not in any way genuinely stupid. Kudos to those who can see that, not counting the guy in front of me who is violently grabbing my uniform because... just because. There's just bound to one person who you will unconditionally hate you know?

"You knew all this time didn't you?" as Hayama asked that question, his grip on me loosened. However, the feeling of him pinning me against the wall is still there.

…

Heh.

Heheheh.

Have I known all this time?

…

OF COURSE I DID!

What do you take me for, some kind of overly-dense MC who, time and time again, fails to recognize that he has a harem? Fuck that! I am not that dense! And for the record, I am not, and will never be an MC. I despise that role. It attracts too much attention. It does not suit me. It's not fit for a loner such as moi. If I were to star in a romantic comedy, I'd likely be one of those forgettable side characters. Those ones that could just live their lives in peace. Those ones that are important for just a small part of the movie and then they become fodder for the rest of it. I'd love that.

But yeah, I've known. I have known all this time. I'm aware of Isshiki's growing affection for me. And I'm aware of the fact that the 'practice dates' that we were having were just her way of getting me to spend time with her. And oh, while we're on the topic of being aware, I'm also aware of Yukinoshita's and Yuigahama's crush on me. Heck, I can even sense that the silver-haired beauty (what was her name again? Kawasomething-san? Kawashima? Kawagura? Kawatimatamatamotamuta-san?) has a crush on me! I'd say crush because I'm pretty sure that it's not romantic love… yet.

You must be asking 'why not break my ties with them like I did with Isshiki too?' huh? Well the answer to that question is simple really. It's because unlike Isshiki, the girls has not made their move for me yet. What I'm trying to say is, neither of the two is trying to progress their relationship with me, whatever it is that I have with them (I can't be entirely sure. Yukinoshita did say that it's impossible for us to become friends so I can't really tell whatever relationship it is that I have with them). And I'm pretty sure that they are content with what we have right now. I know I am. Should there be any changes on that, then I'll just deal with them when they come. As for Kawasaki-san (yes, I finally got her name right), I'm not even sure if I have a 'tie' with her. So why should I worry about breaking something with her right?

Now you are probably asking, 'why am I against the idea of anyone making progress of their relationship with me'? Well, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure of the reason myself. Maybe it's because I am not ready for a romantic relationship yet? I know that the thing that made me hate nice girls have happened more than five years ago already, but hey, moving on from that isn't exactly the easiest thing to do you know? I might not really be able to move on from that and I might stay single for the rest of my life, which is a sad thing for everyone else but not for me. But… I am not really convinced that that is the reason. It feels more of an excuse rather than 'the reason'.

Maybe it's because I don't, and will never reciprocate Isshiki's feelings? Or at least, I think that I won't. Yet deny it as I might, I've already fancied the idea of dating Isshiki more than once now… DARN was that hard to admit! As you'd expect, I blame Isshiki's slyness (and my teenage male hormones) for that. She isn't exactly subtle when she was making her advances to me you know? I was really close to just folding you know? It takes a lot of self-control for me to be able to resist all of that you know?! And yes, it's not like Isshiki isn't an attractive young woman. Hell, if I didn't know her, just by her looks alone, I would have thought that she was some sort of a school Idol!

And I have to admit, her foxiness is an adorable trait. It amplifies her cuteness. Not that I would tell her that.

So no, I can't really convince myself with this reason either.

Is it because I don't find myself deserving of her? That she deserves someone better than me (who has done nothing but blame society for all of the wrongs that had happened in his life)? That maybe I might not be able to meet her expectations of me?

…

That seems to be the more plausible conclusion.

While I may appear to be someone who prides himself for being the king of loner, and someone who is secured of himself, I do know that society views me differently (and not in a good light at that). And before anyone else asks 'but OOoOoo, didn't you say that you don't care about what society says?', can it. I did say that and it still stays true now. I really do not give a cat's butt on whatever mumbo-jumbo society throws at me. But I do care what it says regarding the people who I'm with. And I wouldn't want Isshiki to tainted with my reputation just because she want to be with me.

…

Or maybe I'm just a coward who's afraid of taking risks. A coward who's afraid of getting hurt. A coward who's afraid of hurting her.

…

Yep.

"So what if I did? What's it to you?" I finally verbally responded to Hayama. I may or may have not have said it in a condescending tone. Why I did, if I ever did so, I don't really know why. Maybe it's because I'm fed up with all of this?

Hayama's expression was somewhat expected. He raised a fist and was about to introduce it to my face when a cry from a familiar voice stopped him. I think the voice went "HAYAMA-SENPAI! STOP!". I don't know. I'm not really sure. Heh.

"Hikki?"

"Hm?"

I was woken up from my daydreaming by the call of the Service Club's resident airhead. I instinctively looked at her way and saw her worried face. It was like an Oppai Okaa-san looking out for her sick Obotchan… wait wait, that's a gross analogy. How about we go like this: an attractive Oppai Onee-san that is looking out for her Otouto… yeah, it's still gross, but I guess it's better? Eh. I wonder what's making it gross though.

"Are you okay? You seem to be spacing out." She further inquired.

Hoh. How did you notice? Have you been staring at me all this time? Why, if I was any other guy, I would have already asked you out right here and right now! Too bad I'm not any other guy though, so I suggest that you try it with someone else instead. I appreciate the sentiment though!

…

Did I seriously mentally sound like Isshiki just now?

"I-uh…"

"Yuigahama-san, I advise you from speaking with that thing. He might infect you with the Hikki-virus. You must be extra cautious of it because as of now, they don't have an antidote for it!" suddenly bursted the Ice Queen. Cold. As always. Though, don't you think that it was a bit excessive? Surely she knows that I'm not the only Hikigaya existing. Being the only Hikki though…

"Let's not treat people like they're viruses now shall we?" I protested.

"Aren't we already doing just that?" Yukinoshita immediately retorted.

It took me a few more seconds than usual to register what the Ice Queen has just said.

…

Okay what? No! I am a 'people' too you knnnnnoooowwwwww?

…

OH MY GOD! It is not really the Hikki-virus that is spreading! It is the Isshiki-virus! Yukinoshita, you're spreading the wrong info!

"H-hikki? Why are you making that face?"

"Hikigaya-kun, please refrain from doing that. It scares me to the point of me wanting to call the cops on you." said Yukinoshita while acting like she's trying to get to her phone.

What's with that weak threat Yukino-chan? Every action I take makes you want to do that, yet not one single time have you go through with it. So, really, what's with the flimsy threat? It did not threaten me one bit.

…

No really, it didn't.

Seriously, Yukinoshita needs to update her encyclopedia of Hikki-insults if she want to stay on top of the standings in the 'let's berate the creature that is Hikigaya Hachiman' game because if she doesn't, a certain foxy kohai of mine will definitely surpass her! Well, with the rate that she was going, she eventually would have… if I didn't have to break my ties with her anyway.

Ha Ha.

…

"I-iroha-chan?"

"Hayama-senpai, please stop! Please, Senpai does not deserve this!"

"But Iroha-chan, he hurt you didn't he?"

"He did… But it's not like he meant to anyway. He just did what he had to."

"…"

"So please, Hayama-senpai, let Senpai go."

"…"

"…fine. I'm sorry about that Iroha-chan. I really don't know what has gotten in me for to do this. It must have been unsightly for you huh?"

"Hikki?"

"Wha-huh?"

Have I seriously been daydreaming again? Ridiculous!

"Hikki, I'm really worried about you. Are you really okay?" the ever-caring Yuigahama asked me once again with that concerned tone of hers.

"Yeah Hikigaya-kun. Even I am beginning to get worried too. What's with you today?" voiced Yukinoshita. I can't sense any trace of sarcasm in her tone, which is making me worry too. Do I really look that deranged right now?

To even have the Ice Queen voice her sentiments of worry for me (which is something she rarely does because it means swallowing her pride), I must really look like a train-wreck right now huh? It's not everyday that I get to deeply daydream twice in a row afterall. And they're not even thoughts about Lovely My Angel Totsuka-tan! It would have been normal if they have been fantasies of us two doing whatever it is that couples do. KYAH! And if you're thinking how someone like me could even possibly know what it is that couples, well you'd have to thank my practice dates with…

Seriously, what's wrong with me?

...

"I'm just…" Should I tell them the truth? I haven't told Komachi about anything that has transpired the past two weeks. If Komachi doesn't know, why should these two then? I know that they may be closer to me than anyone else, but no one can deny that Komachi is the closest to me. And so, if I haven't told Komachi yet, I really don't have to tell them now do I?

"I'm just… unused to this feeling, is all. You know, not having a certain kohai dragging you here and there, although I'm sure you two won't be able to relate that much since, you know, I'm the only one she pesters anyways." In the end, I decided to tell them a different truth. It may have been several weeks now, but having a fairly drastic change on my weekly routine is still pretty destabilizing. I may be able to get used to it time, but for now, something else within me is preventing me from doing so.

"Oh." Both of the girls said in unison, disappointment accompanying their tone.

What's with that? It sounded almost as if they're sad about something else!

"Yeah, I guess that's something that can get Hikki down. We're talking about Hikki afterall." Oi? Why are you saying that as if I'm some kind of anomaly?!

"Hikigaya-kun, you're disgusting! To be into masochism… now I know why you seem delighted whenever I berate you!" Yukinoshita added with matching horror in her eyes.

"Let's not jump into conclusions now shall we? And what the hell?! Do I really look delighted whenever you insult me? What bullshit have you been eating?" I protested strongly.

And with that, we were back to our usual banter, as if my moping earlier didn't even happened. Which, if viewed from a pessimistic perspective, it may appear that the two girls never really cared a shit about me and my predicament, but as I've said time and time again, I am realist, not a pessimist. I know better. I should know better. I know we, the service club, know how our relationship dynamic goes. And I know that they know that I share with them whatever it is that's bothering me whenever I am comfortable to do so. I know that they know that it is not wise to pry into this further for they know that it won't yield the results that they desire. I know that they know that I know this.

…

I may be kind of rambling right now and you might find it pointless and annoying, but in a way, with all of the kinds of shit that's been happening (no thanks to what I did), this is kind of nice.

"Hey Senpai. I'm beginning to think that all these practice dates with you is getting me nowhere." groggily said Isshiki as she let her right cheek touch the dining table all the while pouting.

I had to give Isshiki a face at that. I've been telling her that during the first few dates- I mean, practice dates that we had. And she's telling me this only now?! Now that I've invested so much in this?! What's gotten into her?

"I mean, do I still really want to be with Hayama-senpai?"

Oi oi, why are you starting to doubt yourself just now? I won't be complaining if you did this on the first few dates… I mean, practice dates that we have. But seeing that we are well into our ninth one (I think?) and that I've already invested a lot in this, both time and money, I just cannot agree with you this time Isshiki.

"Oi, are you saying that I've misplaced my faith on you? And I was so sure that you'd actually win Hayama's heart at the end of this you knooooowwww?" Whoa. That sounded more sarcastic that I'd thought it would be.

As expected, Isshiki reacted negatively at that. She is now giving me a dejected look.

"Senpai, mocking me like that does not really help you know?"

And she's not dragging her sentences. Oh God. She really was serious when she was expressing her doubts.

I have to fix this.

I mean, as her 'date', and as her senpai, I just have this responsibility to help my kohai with her problems right? Or maybe it just my malfunctioning Onii-chan senses…

Whatever.

"What are you saying? Of course I believe in you Isshiki. If there's anyone I know who can get what she sets her mind on, it's you. I believe that whatever it is that we're doing will achieve its intended goals!" I said that with so much optimism that even I cringe at hearing myself. I even doubt that it will help in lifting Isshiki's spirts up

But well, as with the sudden sour realization of hers, things did not really go as expected.

"You really do senpai?" she asked with a tone of innocence that I did not know she had. She was not being foxy. She was not being sly. She just looked and sounded so… genuine.

It made me slightly uncomfortable.

…

Okay, it made me uncomfortable. Which caused to back out on what I've just said. I didn't fully mean it anyway, not because I don't believe in Isshiki. I just don't think that Hayama would change his mind regarding Isshiki. I even have this suspicion that he's actually gay.

"Well yeah. Anything that can get me rid of you is always something I would gladly do."

And for the second time, Isshiki gave me a dejected look.

"Senpai you jerk." Yeah, I guess I am a jerk.

Chapter 3 - End

A/N It's been a while hasn't it? Just to let you guys know, I haven't left fanfiction. I just became busy with life in general. And I've been binge reading on AshMisty fanfics (please don't judge me!). I don't know if I am now back on the swing of things, but I'm slowly but surely writing for my other fanfics.