Title: RVB-Reassemble
Genre: Action/Humor/Romance
Rating: T for strong language, strong violence, crude humor, sexual humor, a lot of nut shots, and sexist remarks.
Pairings: Red Team/Ooc/Blue Team
Summary:
With a rivalry still going on between Red and Blue, Command Center finally gets fed up and sends in someone to straighten them out. A former Freelancer named Tennessee.
Chapter Two
Outpost 17
The orders were received by both the Reds' Command and the Blues' Command and it sounded like they were for both of them. That wasn't exactly normal for them but it wasn't good either. Especially for Wash. Because if the so called Special Agent even noticed him, recognized him or anything, there would be an inquiry.
"God damn it, Blues! Look what you fuckers did! You got us dragged into your mess!" Grif complained loudly as both of the teams; all of them were standing around on the hill to figure things out. "This is so bad! And it's so your fault!"
"Not my fault! Even though I don't know whose fault it's suppose to be." Caboose suddenly blurted out.
Once again, everyone ignored him.
"Our fault? How the hell is it our fault?" Tucker exclaimed, waving his hands into the air above his head.
"Well, it's the fact that you're fucking harboring a Freelancer criminal, who faked his god damned death when he should be rotting in a Detention block cell. That's one." Simmons remarked with irritation as he folded his arms across his chest. "And two, you just had to let us know about it and we didn't even report it in when we should have."
"Hey! It wasn't me! It was Church and Caboose! They're ones who helped him, not me!" Tucker ranted.
"Not my fault! Wait...what? Who did I help again?" Caboose asked.
Huffing loudly and hovering above all of their heads, Church just kept bobbing up and down. "Knock it off, you guys! Yelling at each other isn't going to help right now. We have to figure things out and fast. It's already been five minutes and the Command Centers said that the Special Agent is going to be here in ten to fifteen minutes! So let's stop arguing and come up with something."
"Ah, why don't we just hand Wash over to them and we won't get into trouble?" Grif suggested, looking over at Wash, who hadn't stopped pacing since the words, "I'm fucked" left his own mouth.
"No! We can't do that! Then he'd go back to being in a cell for the rest of his life! And that's not cool! Besides, we'd have to explain why he was here for about six months without us even noticing! And you know the Special Agent will ask you the very same thing if they ask us!" Church immediately said loudly.
"Dab nab it." Sarge remarked with a groan. "He's actually right. If Wash's been hidin' here for six months, we would'a noticed him by now and reported it. Hate to say it, but we gotta hide 'em. Or something. Cause the Agent's coming. I can hear the Pelican already." And he wasn't kidding.
In the farthest distance, they could hear the whup whups of a Pelican approaching. It sounded like it was still a ways but it was coming and would be there soon.
"Hey, Wash! Ya gonna do that all day or ya gonna help us come up with a plan to hide yer ass!" Sarge barked out to get the pacing former Freelancer's attention.
Wash stopped pacing as he turned back towards both groups. He sighed heavily before shaking his head. "That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm trying to come up with something but the only thing I can think of is hiding. Anyone know any good places to hide?" He asked.
"Without the Agent seeing you before you actually get to it, no." Simmons said dryly.
The whup whups of the Pelican was starting to get closer. "Shit! I've got to do something! If they catch me, then I'm a goner!" He then whirled around and booked it back towards the Blue Base. "Hey! Church! I'm going to use your armor! That's my only chance!" He called over his shoulder.
"Oh, the hell you are!" Church yelled as he took off right behind him. "I can't be seen either, you know! Not in this body!"
"God damn it! Then what the hell am I suppose to do?"
Sarge sighed shaking his head before he turned around and looked right at Lopez. He figured it was time to quickly get a professional on it. "Lopez, hurry it up and go after Wash. Paint his armor Blue or something. I really am kickin' mahself in the ass for even thinking about it but we gotta do something to help him. If he gets caught, we're all screwed." He grumbled.
"Si, idioto." Lopez remarked before hurrying towards the Blue Base.
"Uh, Sarge. Shouldn't we do something in the mean time? Like performing some kind of diversion?" Simmons suggested. "Cause if the Agent lands before they get back from painting Wash's armor, and sees Lopez coming out of the Blue Base or sees us just standing around like we're having a friendly chat, which we're totally not, wouldn't he get suspicious that something's up?"
There was a pause.
"Dammit. Ya have a point, Simmons. Any ideas?" Sarge asked, hating himself for even asking the Blues for suggestions.
"Well, we can react a fight between Blues and Reds." Wash suggested as he jogged back towards them; his armor already a Navy blue with lighter blue trims on his arms. Right behind him, Lopez and Church; in his soldier body were also approaching.
"What the hell? Your armor is painted already?" Grif yelped while everyone stared at him with wide eyes.
Wash nodded as he looked down at his freshly painted and already dried armor as if amazed by it, himself. "Ye-ah. It was kind of weird for me too. This guy," He jerked his head towards Lopez as he went back to standing behind everyone. "He's pretty fast. I didn't even get back to the base before it was blue."
"Well, we gotta plan and it's the only plan, even though it's coming from a damn Blue." Sarge remarked quite dryly at the thought. "But let's git 'er done!"
Pelican 109-inbound for Outpost 17
The pilot was just doing his job like he had been doing for years now. He was just flying the Pelican out to where he was told to go and that was it. But imagine his surprise when the security alarms started going off, making him frown. He looked down at the control panel before looking up again as he flew right over the ridge into the valley. And stiffened at the sight below.
"Uh! Captain! We got a situation here!" Behind him, he heard armor click as his passenger stood up and the pinging sounds of heavy footsteps coming right up to him in the cockpit. He mere glanced behind him at the Captain before nodding to the scene below. "Looks like we caught them at a bad time. They're in a fire fight. I can't put the Pelican down there and get caught in the cross hairs. We'll get blown to pieces if we do. What do you want me to do, sir?"
There was a pause as the Captain looked down at the battle below before turning towards the pilot. "Activate the transmission and get their attention. Tell them to cease fire and then land. If they refuse to obey that order, I'll deal with them." came the chilling metallic voice of the Captain.
"Understood, sir." The pilot remarked before he turned towards his control panel and flipped a switch as soon as the Pelican moved a little closer but not enough to get hit by the rockets that were flying through the air to hit each other's bases. "Attention, Reds and Blues! This is the pilot of Pelican 109! Cease fire! I repeat! Cease fire immediately! We're coming in for a landing!"
There was only a pause.
"Negative, Pelican 109! Yer not gonna be able to land until we finish up here, blowing these damn Blues off the face of the Planet! We got a real battle goin' on down here! Come back in an hour or so until we're done!" came a rather deep, gruff voice; obviously Sarge of the Red Team.
The pilot groaned shaking his head. "Red Team, no can do. We need to land! So stop your fighting and allow us to land!" He called back.
"God dammit, pilot! We're busy here! Ya try and land that hunk of junk of metal shit and ya'll probably get blown up by one of those damn Blues! Land somewhere else! Away from this valley! And then walk over here! By then, we should be done!" came that gruff voice again.
Again, the pilot sighed, shaking his head.
But before he could say anything else, the Captain leaned over him to speak into the mike com. He had to flinch away, due to him being nervous of this person. These kinds of people always made him feel a little uneasy.
"Reds and Blues, you are to cease fire immediately. If you don't, I'm coming down there and I will make you stop." That cold metallic voice spoke.
"Hey! We ain't gonna just up and stop this fight jest because ya said so, Private! Who do'ya think yer are, ordering me around? I'm a Sergeant down here and this is my valley! Ya come down here, ya better be on our side! 'Cause if yer a Blue, I'll blow yer head off! That is an order! Land somewhere else where ya won't get holes in yer puny ass!" that gruff voice of Sarge snapped through the line.
"There! That should strike the fear of god into 'em." Sarge said, quite proud of himself.
"The name is Agent Tennessee, Sergeant. And since you put it that way, you better start shooting at me. Because when I get down there, yer ass is mine." came that cold voice again through the link.
Sarge, Grif, Simmons and even Lopez paused into firing their weapons towards the Blues again. All of them looked around at one another.
"Did he just say...?" Simmons was the one to ask.
On the Blue side, Wash had abruptly stopped firing his weapon and froze stalk still. He wasn't too sure what that so called Special Agent just said because of the loud gunfire and booms of rockets but he got a pretty good idea. He looked over at Church, who also froze, stiffening by what just came out of the comm system of the Pelican. "Church, did he just say..." He was saying.
"Oh, fuck. It's Tennessee." Church groaned, his shoulders slumping.
Wash slumped, himself. "That's what I was afraid of." He groaned.
"Huh? Tennessee? Another Freelancer?" Tucker asked, looking over at him after stopping from firing his semi automatic rifle. But I thought they were all gone because of The Meta. So how can this be a Freelancer?"
Of course, Sarge just had to say something else that Wash and Church both knew would have pissed off the Freelancer in the Pelican.
"Hey, pansy ass! There ain't any more Freelancers! They're all dead! And even if there were some still alive, they'd be locked up like dogs they are! And if yer a Freelancer, you can kiss mah ass!"
Wash groaned, dropping his head into his hand. "Shit. He just had to say it, didn't he? All that's going to do is piss h..." He was saying.
Suddenly there was a loud bang from the Pelican and all heads jerked upward to see what the hell that was from, only to see something jumping right out of the Pelican and coming down fast. It was almost too hard to see because the figure was directly in the line of the sun, blinding all that was looking upward.
Of course, they didn't have to look too long.
Because the dark armored figure came to a crashing thud onto the ground right behind the Reds where they had been hiding behind a bunch of metal crates for shelter from their 'fire fight.' The so called Agent Tennessee landed in a very low crouch, one hand slammed down to keep himself steady.
"Oh, shit!" Grif yelped jumped back and knocking into the crate.
The Agent's head jerked upward and landed right on Sarge. "I don't see you shooting holes into me, Sarge." came the cold metallic voice before his foot lashed out and kicked the oldest Red in the chest, sending him flying over the crates and landing heavily on the grassy field.
"Sarge! You son of a bit...!" Simmons was yelling.
A flash of a black boot slammed into his helmet's visor next sending him over the crate to join Sarge.
"AHHHH! Don't hurt me!" Grif suddenly yelled before he was flying ten feet up into the air, clutching his nether regions. He landed just as heavily on the ground, knocking whatever air he even had in his lungs right out of him.
"MOTHER FUCKER!" Here came Lopez next, flying through the air and slamming into a tree.
The Blues, watching from across the field, all flinched as they watched the sudden beating the Reds had just gotten. They didn't get to see it clearly because of the large crates but after seeing all four of them flying through the air like that, they got the idea.
"Damn it. What's going on over there?" Tucker asked, wincing when he saw Grif clutching his balls and realized he probably got hit there. "Ouch."
"I don't know about you, but I don't want to know what's going on over there! I have got to get out of here and hide somewhere before sh..." Wash was saying as he spun around to book it.
The problem was, his vision was obscured by a fist straight to the visor and he went sailing backwards over his own protected area. He landed heavily against the ground with a loud, "Oof!" and a whoosh of lost air.
All of the other Blues whirled around with alarm.
"AHHHHH!" Caboose screeched before dropping into a crouch and covering his head. "HE SCARED ME!"
"SHI...!" Tucker was blurting out before he was grabbed by the front and thrown over the shield, right on top of Wash.
Church quickly held up his hands to defend himself, tossing his gun down to the ground to show that he was unarmed. "Ten! No, no, no! Stop! Stop! Stop!" He was shouting as the Freelancer whirled to face him, whipping out a gun and aiming at him.
There was only the slightest pause before a deep metallic growl escaped from the Agent and a loud bang of his gun.
Church then hit the ground, motionless. But it left his ghostly form still standing, covering his head as if waiting to get hit by the agent. But after a second, he lift his head and looked around, still seeing the gun pointing at him. He looked down and slumped his shoulders. "Damn." He groaned, looking down at his bleeding body.
"God damn it! Who is this asshole?" Simmons yelled as he climbed to his feet, grabbing his gun. "What the fuck is his problem?"
Sarge was up on his feet, holding his chest where he'd been kicked. It had hurt pretty bad, even with his thick armor. So obviously this Freelancer had one helluva kick packed in those legs. "I dunno! But that hurt! Good thing for my armor! I'd hate to see what would'a happened if I was wearing it!" He then reached down and grabbed his shotgun. "But if it's a fight he wants, then let's bring it to 'em! He ain't gonna get away with kicking me like that!" He shot all three of the other Reds a look as they finally got to their feet. "Don' kill 'em. Just hurt 'em. Like we wanna hear it from the Commands for killing their agent."
Grif groaned, his balls still tender. "Ah, man. Why do we gotta fight this bastard? Can't we just watch him beat up on the Blues like he's doing right now?" He asked, watching as the dark armored soldier now going at it with both Wash and Tucker; since Caboose was still crouched behind the crates, his arms covering his head.
"Oh, don't be a pussy, Grif!" Sarge barked. "Can' let the Blues have all of the fun!"
"Yeah. But, Sarge, if we go join them over there, the Agent might realize that we were trying to help them from the beginning." Simmons pointed out.
Sarge thought for a second. "Well, damn. You are getting smarter, Simmons. Ya got a point again! Nice thinking! Grif! Why can't you be smart like Simmons?" He snapped.
"Thank you, Sarge!"
"Oh, shut up, you ass kisser!" Grif snapped with irritation.
"Don't really matter. Because the Agent is going to be sending the Blues over this way in a moment." Lopez spoke in Spanish.
"I know, Lopez! Grif is a jealous dumbass!" Simmons remarked over his shoulder.
Lopez gave him a withering look. "You're a dumbass, yourself." He remarked again in Spanish.
"SHIT!" Tucker yelped before he went flying near a few barrels of fuel. He was holding his stomach from getting it kicked by this crazy maniac that was now spinning Wash around in very fast circles.
"FUCK! STOP IT, TEN! I'M GETTING DIZZZZZZYYYYYYY!" Wash bellowed before having the last of his words drawl out as he was thrown right into Tucker, knocking him back to the ground.
The Agent rotated his neck, cracking it before turning slightly to see a trembling Caboose standing up. He dipped his head down and took a step forward, making him whimper. But he stopped again when Church quickly stepped in between them, even though it would have been pointless because he was transparent and ghost like. "Tennessee! Stop! Not this one, all right? He's not much of a fighter as it is! As much as I would love watching you pummel him, he's not going to be doing very much fighting back!" He quickly said.
The Freelancer just stared hard at him before dropping down into a crouch as Tucker tried to come up behind him and hit him with a pole. He jerked his head around before lashing out a foot and slamming it into the Blue's stomach, knocking him back into Wash as he tried to climb to his feet.
They went crashing against the fuel barrels, catching their selves on them to keep their selves from flying to the ground.
"Son of a...what the hell is his problem? How the hell did he get so fast?" Tucker yelped, holding his side.
Wash shot him a look as he leaned against the barrels. "I thought you were in an expert!" He huffed.
"I am!" Pause. "An expert in what?" Tucker asked, breathing hard, trying to replace his air into his lungs.
"Women." was Wash's dry reply.
Tucker froze as he turned his head towards the other. It sounded like Wash was trying to point something out. "Ye-ah. I'm a lover of women, not men! What the hell does me knowing women have anything to do with...?" He was demanding.
Wash gave him a pointed look. "Because Ten isn't a man, Tucker." He merely stated as he looked back at the dark figure and jumped. "Oh, fuck!" He exclaimed.
Tucker whipped his head around to see what had Wash's attention and he too froze up before looking down at the barrels next to both of them. "Oh, shit! Run!" He yelped now booking it as fast as he could away from the barrels. And Wash was running right after him.
Suddenly, the Agent's gun went off and the bullet slammed into one of the barrels and they exploded, just as he jumped over the metal containers, yanking a startled Caboose down behind the protectors.
The explosion was huge, throwing fire and the two fleeing Blues into the air.
"SHIIIIIIIIIT!" Tucker was yelling as he went flying twenty feet into the air, his arms flailing along with Wash's.
And then both of them landed hard right at the Reds' feet.
"Damn. That must have hurt." Sarge remarked.
"N-no...shit...!" Wash choked out from his lack of air from his lungs. "That fucking tickled."
"OH! FUCK! HE'S COMING BACK THIS WAY!" Simmons yelped now backing away quickly.
All of them jerked their heads up and saw that Agent Ten was racing their way, moving very fast. They didn't even have time to bring up their guns or their guard as he ducked under the barrels of the rifles and spun around in a full circle. His foot first hit Grif and sent him flying into Tucker as he finally got to his feet and sent them into Simmons and Lopez, which sent them flying five feet away from where they had been standing.
Flipping once on the ground, the Agent spun around and kicked Sarge's feet right out from underneath him, sending him crashing down like a fallen tree and a loud thud. A airless groan was all that the Red CO could even manage to escape out of him.
Again, Agent Ten flipped, this time feet over head before landing on one knee between Sarge and Wash before two Energy blades crackled to life in his hands, pointing right at both their throats, close enough to let them feel the heat of the blades.
"Oh, god damn it." Sarge groaned from his lack of air.
Agent Tennessee kept the blades very close to both the Red and Blue Leaders' necks before leaning down between them. "So, you ready to listen to me this time, Sarge," Then the Agent switched the hidden eyes towards Wash. "Washington?"
Wash stared up at the Agent for a moment before hissing and turning his attention away from his former fellow Agent. "Fuck. How did you know it was me, Ten?" He asked grumpily.
The Agent finally swooped upward, deactivating the Energy blades before hooking them onto the belt. Then both hands reached up and grabbed the helmet before pulling it off to reveal quite the pretty face of a woman. She smirked down at him with her icy blue eyes while her deep strawberry blonde strands fell over them. "Puh-lease, Wash. You and Tex trained me for a little while, remember? I know most of your moves after you pulled them on me." She remarked dryly before she stepped back and looked around at all of the Reds and Blues staring at her, clearly froze stalk still.
Tucker was even pointing a finger at her, as if stunned into becoming a statue. "Holy...fuck! I didn't even...I mean...I didn't...he's a girl? The Freelancer is a girl!" He yelped.
Wash snorted as he pushed himself to sitting up. "No, shit. What gave that away, Tuck? Right after I just told you that she was?" He asked dryly before looking up at Ten as she offered her hand to him. He shrugged and took it allowing her to pull him half way up before she shoved him hard back down to the ground again with a thud. "Ow!"
If that wasn't enough, Ten placed her foot right on his chest and pressed down, keeping him from getting up again as she pulled out her gun and aimed it right at him. She ignored the fact that he raised his hands between them to let her know he surrendered.
"Ten!" Church suddenly spoke up, now back in his soldier body and carefully approaching with Caboose hovering right behind him. He ignored the sharp look she gave him. "Don't shoot him. That's not why you're here, isn't it?" He said with a grimace.
"Fortunately, for his god damn sake, no." Ten remarked with dry humor before she slid her gun back into place. "Hey, Alpha. Nice to see you again, you son of a bitch."
Church sighed heavily, shaking his head. "Actually, it's Church now. I don't go by Alpha. At all!" He added rather loudly.
"So...this Freelancer...is...a girl?" Tucker muttered out loud again, sounding completely stunned.
"Oh, god, Tucker. Yes! Agent Tennessee is a girl! Get over it already!" Wash said as Ten took her heavy boot off of him and allowed him to finally get to his feet. He looked back at Ten, who eyed him dryly. He heaved a heavy sigh. "Though, seeing you is a surprise. Didn't think they would ever send you out. So what are you doing here?"
Ten folded her arms, raising an eyebrow at him as she held her helmet tightly in one of her hands. "It's a long story. But in a way, it deals with you. And the Reds and the Blues. Sit down, boys. This is going to take a while to explain."