A/N: Merry Christmas! I was supposed to have a Christmas chappie for you, but… yeah…

I will get it to you! I promise! In the meantime I shall give you more storyline! (I have most of this written out).

Disclaimer: If only by some Christmas miracle could FMA and Ouran be mine! But alas! Is not to be!

Ed looked at the note Tamaki had managed to get to him during class.

"Dear Edward,

Come meet me in Music Room 3 after school. I have a surprise for you!

Love,

Your Big Brother Tamaki "

Ed had had just about enough of this. When he walked into Music Room 3, well, he hadn't expected to see a room filled with groups of giggling girls. He also didn't expect to see Haruhi there with a tray of teacups.

"Fujioka? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm in the Host Club," she answered.

"The what?" Ed was starting to get scared now. He hoped this club wasn't what he thought it was. But, knowing Tamaki, he feared the worst.

Before he could get an answer, someone called "Ed-chan!" and latched onto his arm. Ed looked down to see a small blond-haired kid with big, brown eyes.

"Tama-chan was telling us all about you! He's really excited you're here and I'm super excited too! And he said that you don't like to be called short but I think you're tall and I'm 17!" he said.

This actually managed to make Ed feel a little better, until…

"Edward!"

"Oh, no. Not again," Ed muttered before he was smothered in another one of Tamaki's hugs.

"I'm so glad you came so I could show you my wonderful Host Club!" he said and proceeded to drag Ed around the room, introducing everyone.

"This is Kyoya. He is the club's director."

Kyoya looked up from writing in his Death Note I mean! ledger and said "It's nice to meet you, Edward. I've been told so much about you," and his eyes said he knew much, much more.

"He's also the Shadow King of the Host Club," said the twins from behind.

"You jackasses are in this club, too?" Ed asked disdainfully.

"Edward, I know that the twins are devilish miscreants, but there's really no need for such language," Tamaki reprimanded him. He pulled Ed over to a different part of the room to introduce him to Honey and Mori.

"I met Ed-chan earlier!" Honey sang.

"And, of course, you already know Haruhi."

"Hey, Ed."

"Sup, Fujioka."

"And now we need to decide what type you are," said Tamaki, standing in his thinking pose.

"What are you talking about?" asked Ed. Tamaki placed his hands on Ed's shoulders.

"I think that the club will be a great brotherly bonding activity!" he said.

"I'm going to die here, aren't I?" Ed stated bitterly.

Suddenly, a loud motor and laughter was heard and up came Renge on her motorized platform.

"Did I hear that someone is joining the Host Club?" she said. Ed and Tamaki looked at her.

"I take it back. I've already died and now I'm in hell," said Ed, "I'm not joining you stupid club."

"Don't talk like that! I want to spend as much time with you as I can," said Tamaki. Ed shrugged Tamaki's hands off of his shoulders and began to walk towards the door.

"Where are you going, Ed-chan?" asked Honey.

"Home," said Ed, not turning back.

"But you don't know where the mansion is," said Tamaki. Ed froze.

"What did you just say?" he asked.

"I made a call during lunch and got all of your bags moved to the Suoh family's second mansion," said Tamaki, smiling wide.

Under normal circumstances, Ed would have turned around and beat Tamaki to a bloody pulp, but as it happened, Al had made him promise he wouldn't kill or seriously injure Tamaki. However, he couldn't hold out for very long.

"Hey, Mori. You're a strong guy, right?" he asked. Mori nodded.

"Hold me back."

Mori looked confused, but did so anyway. Ed began to try and get to Tamaki.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU MORON! ! !" he shouted.

"I've got it!" said Renge, "You're the misunderstood fighter!"

Ed stopped trying to kill his brother and looked at Renge like she was from the moon. She began to go into a monologue about the type that Ed didn't bother to listen to. It's not like he would've understood it, anyway.

"Coffee?" Haruhi asked, "Believe me you're gonna need it."

Ed mumbled his thanks and took the cup.

"I'll tell you right now, I don't think you have a chance," she said. Ed sighed.

"Yeah, I know. He's way too stubborn," he said, "Come to think of it, that's probably one of the only things we have in common." He took a sip of his coffee.

Soon enough, he was seated in front of a couple of girls.

"Sorry… I'm kinda new at this," Ed said awkwardly. The girls giggled.

"That's okay," said the first.

"Yeah, you're still cute," said the second.

Ed blushed a little, still completely clueless as to what he was doing. He could hear Tamaki squeal a bit from across the room. Ed's eyebrow twitched.

"Is it true that you're Tamaki-sama's younger brother?" asked the first girl. Ed looked over to Tamaki, who was spying on him from behind a couch.

"Well, technically," he said.

He excused himself to go to the bathroom. That is to say, hide out in there for as long as he possibly could.

As he walked through the halls contemplating how much he hated his situation and the way he was going to kill Mustang when he got back, he heard a muffled scream. It came from just around the corner. Ed pressed himself against the wall and listened in.

"No one can hear you," he heard a boy say. There were muffled sobs from a girl.

"Don't be such a baby. You know you want this," said the boy.

That's when Ed chose to turn into the hall. He saw a boy covering the mouth of a girl he'd pressed against the wall. He was obviously far too close for her comfort.

"What's going on here?" he asked. It was more of a threat than a question.

"Get lost, short stack, this doesn't concern you," said the boy. Ed responded to this comment by introducing his foot to the boy's face. When the boy hit the floor, Ed took him by the collar and slammed him against the wall. The boy's nose was broken and bleeding.

"Don't think that I'm going to just stand here and do nothing. If you try anything like this ever again, I will hunt you down and I won't go so easy on you. You got that?"

The boy took one look into Ed's murderous eyes and was terrified. He nodded and Ed threw him down.

"Now get out of here," he said. The boy scrambled to his feet and ran out of sight as fast as he could. Ed turned to the girl.

"You okay?" he asked. The girl collapsed onto him and sobbed into his shoulder, thanking him over and over again.

By the next day, word about what Ed had done was all over the school. The boy who'd attacked the girl was expelled by the end of the day, and during Host Club activities the girls were all over Ed.

"You're so brave, Edward-sama!"

"Well, I couldn't just stand by and let someone get hurt," said Ed.

"HE'S SO GALLANT!" they squealed.

"Look, it's really not that big a deal. I just kicked a guy," he said.

"HE'S SO MODEST!" they squealed.

Haruhi walked by and Ed grabbed her sleeve.

"I don't get it," he said. Haruhi looked at the girls.

"Neither do I," she said, "But you should probably just go along with it."

Tamaki was watching from across the room. He wiped a tear from his eye.

"I'm so proud of him," he said.

"You do realize he's still completely lost, right?" Kyoya mentioned. Tamaki didn't hear him. He was too absorbed in thinking about doing something special for his brother to commemorate his "accomplishment." Kyoya rolled his eyes.

"Fool," he muttered, and went back to writing in his Death No-LEDGER! Ledger!

A/N: Hooray for Ed becoming a host! We could just wrap him up as a little Christmas present for all of you readers!

Edward: NOT LITTLE! *kills*

Me: *dies*