Chapter One

'Unnatural Selection'

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AN: The hardest part at first really was not to start writing again, but where to start. So many ideas really. Especially for later chapters. Then, over time, it became the former again. All first chapters tend to be labors of torture and this one proved no exception. Even worse in fact. There's probably a year's difference between some parts.

Ah well, at least we're back into the game, right?

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"Tag, you're it!"

Giggling loudly Dawn ran away from her sister, who first looked dumbfounded at the sudden start of the game. But then Mayan gave chase.

"Not fair," she screamed as Dawn remained out of reach, "You didn't tell."

"You're still it," Dawn giggled as she remained out of reach of her frantic sister.

Round and round the two 4 year olds ran until Dawn ran towards the black training dummy that her older sister and her friends always called Darth Vader. She couldn't understand why because the thing didn't look anything like the Dark Lord of the Sith from the movies. It was just something tall and black and vaguely human looking.

To Dawn it looked more like Spike, without his head, but all dressed in his black leather coat. She liked Spike. And Xander. When she was grown up she was so going to marry the both of them. Spike was like her evil older brother who always told her to do bad things, and then laughed when she got into trouble. And usually her sister with her as she had a bad habit of getting the both of them into trouble. Still, Spike always was nice to them, and of all the grownups the only one who didn't treat her and her sister like little children.

Uncle Xander on the other hand was different. He was like the good brother. Even though he was always sad he liked to make them laugh all the time. It had to do with someone who her older sister, Buffy, called Porno Saiyan when she didn't think Mayan or Dawn, or even uncle Xander, were listening. She had no idea what porno was but she knew what a Saiyan was. Daddy was a Saiyan and he had a tail. Like she and her sister did. So she figured that Porno Saiyan also had a tail.

Tails hurt though, as she and her sister had learned the hard way when they had squeezed into them. Naturally it had become a game between the two of them to squeeze into each others tail whenever the other one wasn't paying attention. Mommy and Buffy didn't like it though when they did, but Daddy did. Said it was good for them and that he was going to train them to stop the pain.

She didn't like the word train though. It spoke of pain, and tiredness and lots of sweat. She had often seen her sister train when they were in the big white space and she always looked tired and complaining that she was hurting. She hoped Daddy wouldn't train them. And yet, somehow, she knew that he would. Daddy was what Buffy called relentless. She didn't know what that word meant, but she didn't think it was a fun word.

So as she hid behind Headless Spike she taunted her sister.

"Ha ha, catch me if you can," she provoked her little sister, who made a swipe for her, which she easily evaded.

"Ha ha, not it," she said teasingly.

"Not fair," Mayan said with an aggrieved expression.

"There is no fair," Dawn said as she stuck her tongue out.

Then there was a sudden noise.

"Meow?"

Peeking from the top of Headless Spike the head of a kitty cat appeared.

Dawn liked kitty cats.

For some strange reason most kitty cats didn't like her. And she was always so nice to them. They always shied away from her. This kitty cat, in the gym, she was nice though. At least she never ran away from her.

"Oooh," Dawn coed, "It's Kitty. Kitty's here."

"Meow?" Max the cat replied, a little groggy from being disturbed in its sleep by the two playing kids.

"Come here, Kitty," Dawn said as she held out her arms so the cat could jump into them. But the cat made no sign of having any intention of leaving its cozy place.

Meanwhile Mayan took advantage of her sister's momentary distraction and snuck up behind her, then she grabbed her sister's tail and squeezed it for all that she was worth.

"Ki…..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Letting out a loud guttural yell Dawn felt her legs give way underneath her and collapsed to the floor. Immense pain flooded her body through her nerves and she began to cry.

"Not fair," she cried as Mayan let go off her tail.

"Tag, you're it," Mayan said triumphantly. Then she looked up at Max. Because like her sister Mayan also liked kitty cats.

"Hi, Kitty," Mayan smiled, then she jumped into the air with all her might until she was with Max the cat at eye level.

"Meow," Max protested as Mayan reached out and pulled her from her favorite spot. Max contemplated resistance but figured these kids, like the grownups, were just too strong for her to hurt and that the easiest way to get free was to play along.

"Yeah, you're a good kitty," Mayan smiled as she pulled Max into her arms and began to pet the animal on its head as she floated downwards.

"I hate you," Dawn groaned still lying crumpled on the floor, sobbing softly.

"You too," Mayan grinned back, then she returned her attention back to stroking the cat, much to its delight as the animal began to purr.

"I win," Mayan said as she walked to a corner of the gravity gym and sat down with the cat in her arms.

"Meow?"

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"Amazing," Giles said as he watched the two five year olds in the gravity gym from behind the control panel through the large window, "It's 20 G's in there and they're walking around like it's 1 G."

"They're Saiyan kids alright," Xander echoed, standing behind the G-man. Standing next to him was Belmovekk.

"Are they supposed to be this cruel?" Giles asked as he looked at the Saiyan, "I mean, you've told me it hurts more then a kick in the, um…"

"Family jewels?" Xander quipped, causing Giles to briefly glare at him.

"What he said," Giles continued.

"They must learn that it is a weakness," Belmovekk said, "That they must either learn to keep it away from their enemies, or be able to withstand the pain."

"It seems so…, cruel?" Giles said as he watched Dawn sob on the floor of the gym.

"Any more so then the Cruciamentum?" Xander countered, bringing a pang of guilt back to the former Watchers mind.

"Touché," Giles said, then he resumed watching, his eyes on little Dawn in particular.

"I still cannot believe what you have told us when you came back from that alternate future," the former Watcher said, "That she didn't exist in that future."

"I still can't believe it myself," Xander sighed, "But the reaction of Trunks and Mayan was clear. Despite Dawn never having existed in that timeline, they believed that she had. And they only did so after coming here. According to Bulma and Angel they never thought so before. Neither did our alternate versions who had died. Yet when they came here somehow little Dawnie's been messing with their mind."

"With all our minds," Belmovekk said, his arms folded across his chest.

"But she was born here," Giles said looking back, "I remember being there at the hospital."

"Were we?" Xander said stoically, "Or do we just think that we did?"

"I…., uh," Giles stammered, then he took off his glasses, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "A man can go insane thinking these kinds of things."

"It does not matter if she was born or not," Belmovekk said, "She is obviously here now and my daughter."

"Well, I guess by now we've had plenty of experience with alternate family members and friends," Xander stated matter of fact.

"Indeed," Giles agreed, then he looked over his shoulder at Xander, "Speaking of her, how are you and…."

"You don't want to know," Xander said as he shook his head in dejection, "Days of our lives got nothing on us."

"I reckon so," Giles said and returned his attention back to Dawn inside the gravity gym. The little girl had stopped crying and weakly got on her feet, then crawled towards her sister so she could pet the cat as well.

"Remarkable," he said, "She's recovering so fast."

"I told you," Belmovekk said, "Playing 'tug the tail' helps Saiyan kids to overcome the disabilitating effect of that pain."

"Almost makes you wonder if we men should kick each other in the nuts for hours on end to make it hurt less," Xander said casually, causing Giles to wince.

"Don't say things like that," the former Watcher shuddered in ghost pain, "don't ever!"

"What? No playground cock and ball torture for you, G-man?" Xander grinned impishly. Giles looked at him like he had no idea what cock and ball torture was. Considering the age of Giles' usual reading material he didn't think it very likely, not unless they called it differently back then.

"Oh shut it," Giles said brusque, causing Xander to grin even more for a moment, then he stopped and turned serious again.

"So, are we going to make a stop with the I Spy thing with Dawnie and tell everyone else what we have learned?" he asked, "Cause I really hate having to lie to my friends all the time."

"Not until we know exactly what we are dealing with," Belmovekk said as he shook his head.

"But it involves Buffy's sister," Xander protested, "You do remember Buffy right? Lightning rod Buffy? Who can kick your ass now? All our asses for that matter?"

"I know fully well what she is capable off," Belmovekk said, "But the answer remains the same. Not until we know exactly what is going on with Dawn. How do you think she would react when we would say: Young lady, we think something is wrong with Dawn, because she never existed in Trunks' and Mayan's alternate future, even though after having spent time in this time the both of them suddenly believed that she did exist in their time. How do you think she would react?"

"She'd go mental," Xander agreed reluctantly.

"She has already enough on her plate with other Buffy," Belmovekk sighed.

"Not to mention her new half brother," Xander said as he grinned again and patted Belmovekk on the shoulder, "You must be a real proud father by now, right?"

"Thanks for reminding me, yet again, that my alternate self fathered a child with her," Belmovekk groaned as he closed his eyes.

"You're welcome," Xander grinned, then he stopped laughing, "I think we need to bring Willow in on this."

"Xander, are you crazy?" Giles protested, "We can't do….."

"I think he is right," Belmovekk interjected, "We have to inform Willow."

Giles looked at the Saiyan in disbelief.

"I thought you wanted to keep this just among ourselves? This little 'war council' of ours? That secrecy was, as you put it, of the paramount order."

"I did," Belmovekk agreed, then he nodded towards Dawn inside the gravity gym, "However whatever mystery she is, she has eluded us. It is obvious that whatever force or magic that is responsible is beyond us. It requires a different approach to unravel this mystery. It seems more and more a riddle of the mind. And for that we need a female touch."

"Back home Pol excelled at such things. Being capable of doing things that we men could never hope to do. I have been negligent in regards to Willow, thinking she's still my pupil, our pupil really. When in fact she has already been chosen by Aldur as his disciple. She should join us as our equal."

"Is that just male chauvinist speak for saying you need her woman think?" Xander quipped.

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"Humanistic psychology was developed in the 1950s in reaction to both behaviorism and psychoanalysis, largely due to the person-centered therapy of Carl Rogers, often referred to as Rogerian Therapy and existential psychology developed by Victor Frankl and Rollo believed that a client needed only three things from a clinician to experience therapeutic improvement: congruence, unconditional positive regard, and empathetic understanding. By using phenomenology, intersubjectivity and first-person categories, the humanistic approach seeks to get a glimpse of the whole person and not just the fragmented parts of the personality. This aspect of holism links up with another common aim of humanistic practice in clinical psychology, which is to seek an integration of the whole person, also called self-actualization. According to humanistic thinking, each individual person already has inbuilt potentials and resources that might help them to build a stronger personality and self-concept. The mission of the humanistic psychologist is to help the individual employ these resources via the therapeutic relationship."

And to think she once looked forward to going to college!

As the professor continued his lecture on clinical psychology not for the first time Buffy wondered what in Gods name had convinced her to take up psychology of all studies?

No scratch that, what had convinced her to go to college in the first place?

Was it Willow with her almost childish enthusiasm for knowledge and desire to go to college so she could be with Tara? Or was it her mother pushing for her to get a good education, like a light version of Gohan's mother, Chichi?

Or was really herself? Still desiring that normal life and wanting that semblance above all else.

It probably was the latter, with a smattering of the idea of doing something together with Willow looking very attractive after the Cell Games. Her mother couldn't care less what she did as long as she was happy. Be it college or following Belmo in the family business, whatever that currently was.

At least Xander had the good sense to stay out of college. Firmly following Belmo in the family business, whatever that currently was. Then again maybe that's what was wrong. They had always been that tight knit threesome, a powertrio of supernatural asskicking proportions and now the band was incomplete as it were. Everybody knew that powertrios made for the best bands anyway. Change that dynamic and the music was never the same again.

Then again was it really that incomplete considering they were only at the University of California Sunnydale branch and could meet together any time they wanted?

Maybe her feeling of being ill at ease at College had more to do with her choice in subject and less with College in general? Doing psychology with Willow seemed like a good idea at the time. But maybe she should have taken a different class instead?

Maybe she should look into history instead? Surely her extensive research into all sorts of things supernatural, and above all gnarly old things, back in the days of old might pay off now?

And pigs probably did fly!

Language perhaps?

Giles always did say she had a talent to mangle the English language. That hinted at a talent, right? Maybe if she…

Suddenly Buffy noticed that things had gotten awfully quiet around her, causing her to look around the lecture room nervously. Did she miss someth….

Everybody was looking at her.

Okay, she thought, everybody seems to be looking at me. Am I naked? Please don't let me be naked.

Glancing below she saw she was still fully dressed.

Okay, thank God for small favors. Still, why is everybody…?

"Miss Summers, are we boring you?" a voice said next to her, immediately amplified by the speaker across the lecture room.

Standing next to her was the professor, staring at her intently.

"I, uh, um," Buffy stammered uncomfortably as she fully realized that while she knew hundreds of defensive techniques against being ambushed by an attacker, she still knew none in case a teacher had managed to catch her unaware.

"You seem distracted, Miss Summers," the professor said, "is my lecture not interesting enough or do you have other things on your mind?"

"I, uh," Buffy stammered again, then she pointed to her notes, "I was taking notes and…"

"I see," the professor said as he leaned over and looked at her notes, "While it pleases me to see your dedication, your chosen material does hint that you might have chosen the wrong study. We teach psychology in this class, Miss Summers, not art. I can put in a good word for you with Professor Saunders if you want to transfer. And who knows, with your talent you might even apply with George Lucas. Maybe with your talent you can even ensure that his next movie won't be as god awful as the last one was."

As the professor walked back to the front Buffy looked at her notes. There were absolutely no notes whatsoever of the professor's lecture.

Instead there was only a drawn picture of Yoda.

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Did that seem like eye of newt?

Taking the package of the shelf the young man studied it intensely for a moment. The printing on the packet was in a combination of Chinese and very badly translated English, making it extra hard to make sense of it all. After a moment of intense study he finally decided that it was powdered eye of newt and put it in his shopping basket.

James was a freshman at the University of California, Sunnydale branch, who, like many before him, had come here to study because out of all the branches of the University of California, the Sunnydale branch was the cheapest.

Upon arrival he quickly learned why, when he noticed how one of the janitors, believing himself to be unobserved, took off a wig to scratch the skin underneath it, only to reveal an ink black skin with short bony thorns. That was the beginning of a crash course into Sunnydale's 'special nightlife'.

As it turned out the town was full of all sorts of creepy crawly stuff straight out of one's worst nightmares. Ranging from relatively harmless demons masquerading as humans, working to make out an honest living, to vampires and truly hideous demons, chomping at the chance to put their teeth, or worse, into yours unsuspecting truly.

The weird thing however was that they didn't.

Even the things that were supposedly incredibly dangerous just to look at refrained from killing. It was like walking onto the set of a horror movie with the disclaimer 'no humans were harmed making this movie'. It was really odd.

Scratch odd. It was a mind fuck.

Those that knew about Sunnydale's 'special denizens' tended to seek each other out, just like science fiction nerds sought out fellow science fiction nerds to talk about their favorite show, argue about things that no sane person cared about and generally be nerds among fellow nerds. Seeking out like minded fellows helped to keep a form of sanity in what was essentially a strange and frightening world.

It was here that James learned that the things that went bump in the night weren't just exclusive to Sunnydale. That they were in fact everywhere. And that the relative live and let live attitude that permeated Sunnydale wasn't universal. In fact some transferees from the University of California Los Angeles branch told horror stories of being attacked by some of the very same creatures that wouldn't lay a finger on them here even if you provoked them. Some of the senior students, and even a post graduate, said that it used to be the same in Sunnydale, even worse. That you sometimes had to barricade your dorm room at night just to sleep safely at night. And stuff plugs in your ear so you wouldn't hear the screams.

Then, about three years ago things began to change.

Something began to hunt the creatures of the night. Thinning out their numbers, attracting their attention, drawing it away from the luckless students. Then all of sudden all attacks stopped completely. Martial law had been declared against vampires and demons, they were told to behave or die. And it worked.

Occasionally trouble still flared up. But whoever was enforcing those martial law always stepped in, making the streets and the nights safe again. Now you stood a greater chance to be mugged for money by some druggie human then to be attacked by something straight out of your worst nightmare. Hell, chances were that something straight out of your worst nightmare would come to your rescue instead.

With the local demons forced to play nice, other weird things were taking place. Whatever this demon martial law had stated, it apparently did not cover willing human/demon interaction. Leading to all sorts of strange activities. Like a vampire brothel where vampires sucked on humans whilst providing them with a wicked sexual rush. There were other sexual favors demons were willing to grant to humans. Like rumors of a shape shifting demon who could assume the form of anything or anyone one's heart desired. Rumor had it that he, or she, or whatever it was, was wickedly expensive though.

James didn't care much for all these strange sexual peccadilloes. While he found it interesting to learn of these 'things' his tastes were very much ordinary, thank you very much.

In his psychology class there was a girl, Wendy, whom he was madly and deeply in love with, but who barely seemed to notice him. Not that she was a bitch, nothing like that. More like he was invisible to her because he was too shy to make himself noticeable.

Shy as he was and with access to the seamy underside of Sunnydale instead of introducing himself to the girl and asking her out, naturally James thought of something differently.

A love spell.

As it turned out seeking a spell caster was quite easy. Getting the right spell on the other hand was quite harder. Casting simple love spells turned out to be the most commonly asked request in magic land as sex was as a query on Google.

As such most spell casters either huffed at the idea of being asked to perform such an ordinary spell, as something that was beneath their talents. And those that were willing to help quickly pointed out that as it meant forcing one's will onto another human being it was in direct violation of the town's demon martial law, the Edict.

James almost gave up on hearing that when the spell caster offered him an alternative. While this Edict banned harming humans against their will, it said nothing of harming humans who gave their willing consent. If the spell caster could not make Wendy fall in love with him, he could make James into the kind of man that she could fall in love with. Cast away his shyness, give him more confidence and the ability to interact with women.

It was no guarantee that she would fall in love with him, but as the spell caster said, there were no guarantees for anything and besides, if it didn't work out with Wendy there were plenty of other fish in the sea and thanks to his spell he would now be able to expertly fish for another one.

Convinced James agreed to this different spell, had to sign an official agreement that stated he did so willingly and then had to shop for the ingredients of the spell himself at a place called 'The Magic Box'. Sunnydale's only shop of all things legally magical.

And that's how he found himself amidst the shelves of the Magic Box looking for eye of newt. Which he had just found (he'd hoped). Next thing on the list, and the hardest one to find so far, were dried ganga beets. They were impossible to find in this shop, so hard in fact that he was starting to wonder if the Magic Box even had them. That left only one course of action, one that he didn't wish to do.

He'd have to ask the shop assistant.

While James had little difficulty interacting with other men and the seamier underside of Sunnydale, his skills tended to evaporate when he had to confront that most alien species known on the planet, women.

In particular, beautiful women.

And the shop assistant, looking bored behind the counter, was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen.

For a moment, quite a lot of them actually, James debated himself, whether or not to give up and just go home. She was so beautiful, although not Wendy beautiful, and looking so aloof that it made him feel like he was in a shop selling women's shoes where he had to ask where the isle for the large sizes were.

In the end James found the guts to go up to her and ask.

"E-excuse m-me," he stammered as he tried to get the shop assistant's attention.

To his horror the shop assistant barely paid him any attention as she continued to look bored out of the window.

"E-excuse me," he stammered again, "c-can you t-tell me where I-I can find d-dried ganga b-beets?"

The blonde slowly turned her gaze towards him, changing her gaze from bored to contemptuously indifferent, causing James to swallow again.

"Third isle, 7th bin, 3rd shelf," she said in a tone that spoke: how dare you to interrupt me with your insignificant platitude. Scratch the women's shoe store analogy, he now felt like a boy buying his first condoms and the cashier in the drugstore shouting loudly, so everyone in the shop could hear it, what price the condoms were.

"Thanks," James said as he hurriedly made for isle three, his face red as a tomato. Behind him the shop assistant returned to looking bored out of the window. As he entered the third isle James made for the 7th bin and looked at the 3rd shelf.

There was no dried ganga beats.

In desperation James looked up and over the shelves.

"From the top," the shop assistant said in her bored tone without looking. Then she muttered something which sounded suspiciously much like moron.

Feeling like an idiot James looked from the top and there it was, dried ganga beats, the final missing ingredient.

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Idiot!

She was a Gero type android, the last known one of her kind. Did that snotnose punk think she didn't know the exact layout and inventory of every item that was inside the Magic Box?

Not for the last time did she wondered why she had ever having taken up Rupert Giles' job offer.

After the party at the Lookout everyone had gone their separate ways. Including Android #18, last known one of her kind. For a few weeks afterwards she had traveled the world, seen more of it in that time then she had done traveling that fateful journey through India towards Goku's home. Not that she cared much for it, for while the scenery might change, the people remained the same.

And people really, really turned out to be her Achilles heel. Because while she was for the most part human, thanks to Gero's thorough mindwipe of her original personality she had no clue how to act like one. That didn't leave her a whole lot of places to go that had people.

She rapidly came to the conclusion that since she had nowhere else to go and no one to turn to but her former enemies she might as well take them up on their offer and stay with them. So one day, much to their surprise, she turned up at the Scoobies' doorstep.

There were other places she might have gone to.

The Son Goku household for instance. Which might have been a good idea if it weren't for the pesky fact that Son Goku was now dead. Which left his wife firmly in power and no sane man, woman or whatever else was out there, would ever submit themselves to Son Chichi's rule. Even Android #18 knew better then that.

Tien Shin Han had disappeared somewhere in Asia, vowing to never to return. The once proud warrior obviously now felt inadequate amidst the recent breakout of Super Saiyanesque powers and his own lack of them. She could understand his reason to break with the group. But she had no idea where he went, nor had she any desire to rough it up with him.

She knew Yamcha had similar issues of inadequacy, but last time she checked (which had been at the Lookout) he harbored feelings of hostility towards her, which precluded him. And on the off chance that he managed to get over his feelings of hostility, chances were that he would seek a sexual liaison with her, as was his usual MO.

That left Krillin, the little man. Who would probably do the dance of joy if she were to turn up on his doorstep. But there was the small matter of him being deeply in love with her. Which was…. complicating. Because she wasn't sure about her own feelings in this matter. Cause there was something there…

No, Krillin was a whole new area of weirdness, a can of worms which she would rather not think of too much, afraid it would actually open things.

And then there was also the small matter of him living with Master Roshi. Who was easily the world's greatest known pervert. And she didn't fancy having to live amidst Roshi's porn collection on the one hand and Krillin fawning over her as well at the other.

The government knew about her as well. Various government agencies would love to get their hands on her, and most likely take her apart to see what made her tick. It wouldn't be the first time either. There was a vampire here in Sunnydale who could regale her for hours telling her the various stories in which 'the government' had screwed him over by capturing him and sticking all sorts of stuff into him that made him into a cyborg. Like her. No, the government was probably best left at a distance, preferably another solar system. Which was unfortunate because it was the government which controlled the only way for her to do so.

Piccolo's and Dendé's place in the sky? Give her a break! Great if you wanted to watch clouds. Other then that not a whole lot to do there. Also the military still went there regularly to use the Room of Spirit and Time.

Capsule Corp.?

They had proven themselves to be very android friendly after they had repaired Android #16.

But then again Vegeta lived there as well and his track record in that department was less then stellar. He might even still be smarting for a rematch of when she had kicked his ass (and broken his arm). And he was an awfully lot stronger now. Better not to risk it.

That left only the Scoobies.

As she quickly learned after coming here the Scoobies employed a live and let live policy that allowed for a surprisingly diverse population to thrive here on the Hellmouth. In that sense the place agreed with her as it didn't made her feel like an complete outcast.

There was one problem with living on the Hellmouth.

She needed money.

As the saying went, there's no such thing as a free lunch. And that applied all the more to Sunnydale. The Slayer might have been willing to spring for her with her credit card when they were gallivanting through India, back home she and her friends were more frugal. Since Sunnydale had a zero Scooby approved policy for violence and stealing was still very much a non-Scooby approved form of violence she quickly discovered that doing things the legal way cost money.

All of a sudden she had to earn herself a living. Which meant that she was suddenly in a world of luck when Rupert Giles decided to assume ownership of the Magic Box.

The Magic Box was Sunnydale's biggest magic shop, and the only one above ground. Sure, there were a few others deep underground, but they catered to a more limited clientele. The Magic Box was open for everyone. Unfortunately that meant that ownership had always been a risky business, with more then one owner coming to an unfortunate demise. This included the last previous owner.

The Scoobies had been investigating the death of the Magic Box's owner and quickly dealt out harsh punishment to the demon responsible, who was of course quickly pointed out to them by the other demons not wanting to share his fate. But when they were investigating the shop owner's death the former Watcher Rupert Giles learned why the Magic Box was never without a new owner for long. The profit margins were huge and there was not a whole lot of competition. And unlike Amazon dot com many magic items and ingredients weren't suitable to be delivered by the US post office. With that in mind Giles decided to take over the shop and become an entrepreneur.

Arguments that the job was risky were dismissed on the grounds that who would dare harm the head of The Committee? Sunnydale's chief supernatural intelligence gathering agency. Who could call upon the services of the Super Saiyan and the Super Slayer. One would had to be a complete idiot. Arguments that it took only one complete ignorant idiot were cheerfully ignored as the former Watcher took over the shop and re-opened it.

Which was right after the time that Android #18 had come to town and was basically told that she was more then welcome to stay, but that she had to make herself useful. Giles needed a shop assistant, she needed a job, one thing led to another. And here she was now.

And now she had to put up with the customers, clean the shop, oversee deliveries, do some of the administrative jobs. Basically, she had to do almost everything while her boss earned most of the money.

Capitalism in action.

She now understood why so many of the owners of this place had been killed. Probably by their employees. It was enough to turn her socialist. If she had any political inkling that is. Which she didn't.

It wasn't as bad as it sounded though. She liked keeping inventory and restocking the shop. It gave her a sense of order which was generally lacking in her life. She had been built to destroy Son Goku. Son Goku was no more. That left her without a purpose. Androids didn't do so well without purpose. Especially in killer androids the old axiom 'in the absence of orders go find something to kill' was not a good thing in an environment that frowned on her killing and blowing up stuff. In that sense running the shop did give her a sense of purpose. She didn't even mind cleaning up the place. Again, the bringing order to disorder thing. A clean shop was an orderly shop. And an orderly shop made her feel good. Of sorts.

No, unfortunately it was the customers that drove her mad.

And customers were also people.

Some were chatty and babbled her ears off telling her their boring little stories and anecdotes she couldn't give ten cents about. Others kept asking her stupid questions, like the current customer, where to find things, or how to order stuff the Magic Box didn't have. The latter she could understand, but the former, come on! The store was as logical as an android. On day one she had thrown out Giles and his inefficient plan to arrange the store. If she had to work in this place it was going to be orderly. The right way, the Android #18 way.

And it had to be efficient, because after seeing how she had re-arranged things Giles had not ordered her to re-arrange things back. So if the idiots could not find things in this well arranged store then clearly they were as defective in their thinking as she thought they would be.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the teenager coming towards her, his basket full of stuff, in order to check out. As he put the basket on the counter he put on a weak smile as she glared at him.

Well, at least he wasn't boring the shit out of her with his life story, as some of the others did.

Relenting Android #18 eyed the basket and without taking out or scanning any of its content she spoke.

"That will be $110,75," she said in her bored tone of voice.

"Are you sure?" the kid asked surprised, "shouldn't you at least have a loo…."

As Android #18 unleashed her full death glare at the kid he immediately winced.

"I did," Android #18 said in a tone that stood for no argument, "That will be $110,75."

Too stunned to talk the kid pulled out his wallet. It was then that Android #18 remembered her boss' latest reprimand that she should be more friendly towards the customers. And her usual excuse, 'but they're idiots', made no impression whatsoever on Rupert. So she sighed mentally.

"It's a magic shop, kid," she said as she opened the cash register, "Don't you think we have means to track our inventory inside our shop?"

"I, uh, um, suppose," the kid stammered as he handed her the money.

"Do you want to have a Earth polluting plastic bag to go with this?" Android #18 asked as she put the money in the register and handed the kid his change.

"Uh, y-yes please," the kid said, upon which Android #18 efficiently put his order into a plastic bag and handed it to him.

"Thanks for shopping at the Magic Box," she said, then she resumed her boring stare out of the window and the young man made for the exit as fast as he could.

"Your people skills leave much to be desired from," a voice said in a mocking tone from the back of the store.

"He got what he wanted, he lives, what does he have to complain?" Android #18 shrugged without looking at the source of the voice.

"A nice shopping experience that makes him feel welcome?" the voice jeered, "You're supposed to make them feel welcome, not scare them away."

"Funny, that's exactly what my boss said," Android #18 shrugged indifferent.

"So what did you say?" the voice asked with thinly veiled amusement.

"Who says I said anything?" Android #18 said looking briefly over her shoulder.

"Come on, Deathbot" the voice said, "We're roommates, I know you by now. You always have a reply. Some snappy comeback, a retort so caustic and acerbic that it will strip paint of walls and souls out of people."

"I'm not that bad," Android #18 protested, causing the voice to laugh.

"Oh please," the voice laughed, "Remember that kid in the Bronze two weeks ago? I had to go after him and stop him from slitting his own throat in the men's room."

"So?" #18 shrugged, "It's not my fault he didn't live up to what he thought he was."

"If you say so," the voice chuckled, "So, what did you say to Giles?"

"I said that if the customers don't like the way I perform my work they are welcome to go elsewhere."

The voice laughed.

"That's exactly what you would say. Of course there are no other magic shops. At least not above ground. And none that cater to everyone."

"That's what I said," Android #18 agreed.

"I take it Jeeves wasn't impressed?" the voice asked amused.

"He still thinks it's better not to risk things."

"I suppose he's right," the voice agreed, "So what did he order?"

"Just another one of those loverboy spells," Android #18 said bored.

"Are you sure?" the voice asked incredulously, causing Android #18 to sigh.

"By now I know the ingredients needed to perform 11.065 different spells," she sighed, "I have not been surprised by anyone coming in to order for something new for two months come next Friday straight."

"Ah, the joys of having a machine mind," the voice sniggered, "knowing each detail to the letter."

"It is highly overrated," Android #18 replied curt, "I now understand why #17 was so obsessed with seeking new thrills and doing it 'the old fashioned way'."

"If it bothers you so much, why not turn it off?" the voice asked curious.

"Because you know damn well as I do that that's the one reason Giles hired me," Android #18 said, "He wants someone behind the counter who can keep track what is being ordered and for what."

"So how many of those loverboy spells does this one make?" the voice asked.

"Enough to make me think it will soon be added to the banned list," Android #18 said casually, "While it doesn't phase me in the slightest even I know it's not good for there to be this many Casanova wannabees out there. For one they're highly annoying."

"I dunno," the voice from the back called not very convinced, "the Watchers Council was not formed to protect stupid women from having their hearts broken. And who knows, if they have their hearts broken they might actually learn a valuable lesson or two. Like not be so gullible all the time. I think we should let it slide."

"You always were a cynic," Android #18 countered.

"Nope, just had my heart broken as well," the voice said back, then it chuckled, "Maybe you should convince your boss to sell amulets to women so they won't fall fo a. Play both sides as it were."

"I'll file that in the employee suggestion box," Android #18 said, sounding even a little less bored over that. Then came the sounds of somebody packing up, followed by footsteps.

"Are you leavi…., ew," Android #18 said mildly disgusted, "Are you breastfeeding?"

"Don't be an ass, Deathbot," Buffy, the alternate one, usually referred to as other Buffy behind her back, said as she walked towards the shop's exit, cradling a small child on her chest, "He's already eaten. I'm not going out with Alex strapped to my tit. Who do you think I am?"

"Buffy's evil twin?" Android #18 countered.

"Very funny, Deathbot," other Buffy said as she opened the door, only to almost bump into a pizza delivery boy carrying two pizza boxes. Without bumping into him she sidestepped him and deftly freed him of one of the pizza boxes.

"This one's mine," she said and left the shop.

"Hey," the delivery boy protested weakly, but she was already gone.

x

x

Not for the last time in his unlife Spike contemplated the odd twists and turns that had led him to his fate of late. His coming to Sunnydale, meeting the Slayer and the Big Scary, being a cripple, learning that chi stuff, leaving Sunnydale and losing Dru. After that joining up with the Circle, which was quite the crackin' time, one of the highlights of his life, definitely up there with him killing two Slayers.

After that life took a serious downturn for the worse.

First he got captured by the Initiative and transformed into the Terminator. Which wouldn't be that bad in itself if it weren't for him not being able to use all that firepower as he wanted. For what they wanted him to do, policing the local demon population, it was sheer overkill. In all the time that he had to 'make an example' of some demon, or demons as in plural, he almost never had to resort to anything more then a fraction of the power at his disposal. Frankly he could have policed Sunnydale with the power he had before the Initiative did a Six Million Dollar job on him.

It did come in handy in the lead up to the Cell Games though. Plus the extra power was helpful when he was out in the sun. The Initiative had sunk a lot of money into Six Million Dollar Spike, having him go poof in the sunlight seemed like such a poor way to lose it. So their clever boffins had come up with a clever algorithm that allowed his shields to modulate in just the right way to keep him from burning up in the daytime.

Yeah, while he hated being the Scoob's lapdog, he did like being able to go outside during the day. Sitting on a park bench and watching people go by, go about their business, have fun, fall in love. To sit there and think of all he creative ways he could cause havoc during the day if it weren't for that goddamn chip in his head kept him fairly entertained. Besides, it just felt good to be able to sit in the sun after a hundred years of constant night. Far better then to sit in a crypt brooding. He'd miss that if the Initiative hardware ever were to offline, even if it allowed him to kill again. Still, maybe he could recreate the effect using his own baseline chi. Now that he knew that it was possible who knew?

Still, there was one question that occupied his mind more and more these days. Did he even still want to go back?

Before he could try and come up with yet another answer the door opened and Bulma walked in carrying a pizza box, upon which a thousand smells assaulted Spike's sensitive nose.

"What on earth is that?" Spike asked as Bulma walked by, sat down next to him and put the pizza box on the table next to the both of them.

"Oh, only the best kind of pizza," Bulma said as she opened the box and picked up a slice, "anchovy with fried egg, chives, crème fraiche topped off with curry powder."

Spike looked at her like she was daft, which she probably was, considering she was part of the late Goku's Scooby gang.

"Are you pregnant or something?" he asked, causing Bulma to look oddly.

"No, I just like it," Bulma said as as she bit into the slice and closed her eyes in a heavenly dream, "God, it's good!"

"Women," Spike sighed, then he shrugged and reached for the box, "Can I have a slice?"

"Go right ahead," Bulma nodded, then she grinned evilly, "That is if you're man enough. Vegeta doesn't even dare to be near it. And he's the Saiyan food incinerator."

"See," Spike said as he picked up a slice, sniffed it tentatively, then he took a bite and chewed, "the difference between me and Patches is that I've had a hippy during Woodstock. Saw weird colors for days. After that I can stomach anything. Also, Dru had this thing for pickle and grape pizza doused with port."

I'm amazed you can even eat this stuff," Bulma said, "I thought you vampires only drank blood?"

Spike didn't immediately replied, as he concentrated on eating the pizza slice first.

"I can still eat if I want too," Spike said after he had finished the slice, "It won't nourish me but it's good to occasionally put something solid inside the old stomach. You know, I can see why they put the curry powder on top of things. It masks everything. Just like with real Indians. Even their blood tastes spicy."

"Indian food always gives me gas," Bulma said.

"So do Indians," Spike chuckled.

Bulma gave Spike a hard stare.

"You know the casual I'm a murderer routine doesn't impress me, Spike. Try living with Vegeta for three years."

"Fella's gotta do something to amuse himself while some bint is checking his CPU and powerpacks.

"Yeah, while think of this," Bulma said as she tapped her laptop beside her, which was plugged into the USB port in Spike's skull, "this bint has full access to your CPU and this bint can fully screw you over by making you dance to showtunes while singing hello my darling. If you want to keep whatever shred of dignity you have left you should stop being an ass and let me finish this upgrade."

She was of course referring to his recent spate of upgrades to both his firmware and hardware. During the Cell Games Bulma and her father had managed to repair Android #16 in ten days and learned a wealth of knowledge in regards to Gero type androids, especially the most advanced models.

Which was why Belmovekk asked her to upgrade Spike to bring him in line with the remaining Gero type android, Android #18. Because he figured that with Buffy going to college it couldn't hurt to have another heavy hitter being able to take her place.

Which was why Bulma was now with Spike in the back of the Magic Box. To check to see if the last firmware upgrades were working out as planned. And also to put the finishing touches on the new gravity gym that had been installed in the Magic Box as well.

The old gravity gym had become a little too well known nowadays as more and more personnel from the Sunnydale military base were using it to the point that the original users found it harder and harder to train there when they wanted too.

It was Riley's idea to sell the gravity gym to Uncle Sam, and use the proceeds to built a new one for themselves. Belmovekk was a little hesitant to do so but when Giles came upon the Magic Box and learned that there was a fairly sized warehouse in the back the choice seemed clear. Not to mention that unlike the old gym this one was actually paying for itself through the store. So the decision was made to built a new gym, even though this one was a little smaller then the old one. But since it was newer and having learned a wealth of new design tricks thanks to three years of Vegeta trashing his gravity gym back home she was confident she could still make the smaller size work to their advantage. Like even more gravity then before.

"You know, I think I'll take it back that curry powder masks everything," Spike said as he had a small hiccup, "All those bizarre flavors are starting a revolution in my stomach."

"Told you you weren't man enough to eat this pizza," Bulma scoffed.

"Yeah, whatever," Spike waved dismissively, then he looked away.

"You know," Bulma said after a while as she read the data on her laptop, "if this data holds up I think we have it nailed. No need for further updates."

"No more screwing with my head?" Spike sighed.

"Oh, you were screwed enough already," Bulma countered.

Spike said nothing for a while, instead he looked down to the floor.

"You know, I think I'll miss this," he said pensive.

"What? Me messing with your head?" Bulma asked surprised, "I thought you hated that."

"I do," Spike said without looking up, "But it was nice to talk to somebody intelligent once in a while. Somebody who doesn't think I'm a sodding wanker all the time."

"Well, have you tried not being a 'sodding wanker' all the time?" Bulma suggested, "That might work."

"Ha ha," Spike said not amused, "Very funny. I do plenty of good things these days. I think I deserve at least a little credit."

"You do this because I make sure your 'better nature' doesn't override this," Bulma said as she tapped her laptop, "Because in the case of nature vs. software, I make sure that that old Initiative chip still has the upper hand."

"That stuff only keeps me from doing bad stuff," Spike snorted, "I do the good stuff because I chose to do so."

"Yeah right," Bulma snorted back, "You're a vampire turned cyborg, Spike, but still a vampire. You have no soul. You're just a demon inhabiting a corpse."

"Souls are overrated," Spike shrugged, "Plenty of humans have souls, doesn't stop them from doing shitty things. Stalin had a soul. Hitler had a soul."

"Your point being?"

"If a man with a soul can chose to do evil, why can't a vampire without a soul chose to do good things?"

Bulma stopped looking at her laptop to look incredulously at Spike.

"You have got to be shitting me," she said flabbergasted, "Okay, I'll bite, what's in it for you?"

"Well, I can still kill," Spike said, "Maybe not humans but everyone else is fair game. I can still get my fix of senseless violence. Who do you think has been keeping this town in line? Not those sodding do gooders I'll tell you. She hasn't even patrolled once in this town since I got here. It's me that's doing the hard work here. It's me whose beating up other vampires and it's me who's tearing other demons a new arsehole. And what do I get for it? Not a sodding word of thanks, that's for sure."

"The only time I ever get invited to anything is if they want something of me. I'm not expecting getting red carpeted, but a thank you would be nice once in a while. Great job, Spike. Good work, Spike. Hell, they even make me babysit the twins. That's how low they think of me."

"I find it hard to think of you as a baby sitter," Bulma chuckled, "Lot's of things actually, none of them involving babies. Except maybe to eat them."

Bulma stopped laughing and looked at Spike with big eyes.

"Did you eat any babies?"

"Had a few," Spike shrugged, "They're a tad scrawny though. Not enough blood in them. Also while they taste fresh, they're not afraid. Little buggers have no sense of primal fear yet. Older humans taste better though, the whole adrenalin thing makes them all the more sweeter."

"I'm not having this conversation," Bulma said as she mulled things over for a minute.

"Suit yourself, Doc," Spike shrugged.

For a while Bulma said nothing as she continued working on her laptop.

"Here's what I don't understand," she finally said, "You're the supposed big bad cyborg vampire. You may not be able to kill humans anymore, but you're not programmed to obey. If they're treating you like crap, then why are you putting up? You're not turning sissy are you?"

Slowly Spike's head turned towards Bulma, cable still sticking out of the side of his head, glaring an intense death glare towards the female scientist.

"Oh, sorry, did I struck a nerve?" Bulma said unimpressed.

"You're lucky I can't kill anymore," Spike hissed angrily and slowly but again Bulma was unimpressed.

"Is that supposed to impress me?" Bulma said pretending to be confused, "You think that by stating that only your impotence is keeping me safe you can impress me with the fury of your hate? You think I've never been stared down by anything or anyone more powerful then me before? Been there, done that, gotten the t-shirt, threw it away, got a whole wardrobe more of them. I live with Vegeta for god sakes."

A thousand emotions flashed over Spike's face, then he looked down and slumped back into his seat.

"Why bother," he sighed defeated.

"Why bother what?" Bulma asked.

"In answer to your question," Spike replied morose, "Why bother. I can't kill humans, that makes me a joke as far as other vampires are concerned. I can only kill other baddies, which mean I can only work for the white hats. And with the exception of maybe Angel's bunch I don't think anyone else will have me. And I'd rather dust myself before I take orders from that poofter again. Might as well stay here. At least they let me do some constructive acts of violence now and then."

"I see, Bulma said as she stopped working on her laptop and looked at the vampire, "What a sad life."

"Hey," Spike spoke up as his eyes flared up briefly, "I don't need your pity, I don't need anyone's pity."

Having said his piece Spike calmed down again.

"Besides, it's not so bad," he said, "There are some….. perks."

"I suppose there are," Bulma said pensive. Then Spike changed the subject.

"So, huh, how are you and the Royal Onion," Spike asked, "Has he, um, gotten things of his, uh, chest?"

"No," Bulma said shaking his head.

"Still in his funk then," Spike nodded.

"It's like nothing interests him anymore," Bulma said, "He often sits in the gravity gym and stares ahead blankly. And when he's not in the gym he watches television. Soaps and reality TV basically. He doesn't even watch the news, just soaps and reality shows."

"So I take it you guys don't do much of the beast with two heads anymore?" Spike asked.

"Much?" Bulma huffed, "Nothing. Not a single time since the Cell Games."

Bulma sighed and looked away dreamily.

"He was an animal when he came out of Dendé's white room. All that pent up energy. He must have dragged me away from fixing Android #16 god knows how many times. A sexual dynamo."

"And then it all stopped after Goku died. It's funny how people can take a loss. Goku was Chichi's husband and Gohan's father. But they've moved on. Krillin was his best friend and he's managed to move on."

"Vegeta hated Goku. Sometimes he wouldn't shut up about it. Kakarot this, and Kakarot that. He really couldn't handle Goku being stronger then him very well. And yet sometimes he would surprise us. He did save Goku's life more then once. And when there was an external threat he'd close ranks against it because god forbid somebody took a shot at Goku before he could."

Bulma bit her lip and looked away.

"I think that's what's really bothering Vegeta. That he got robbed of his chance to kill Goku. That he got robbed of his little personal rivalry. And that something that-which-was-not-Saiyan bested not only Goku, but by default all remaining Saiyans as well. A double whammy of sorts. And now that the next generation has taken over he feels…, irrelevant."

"I think I can relate to that," Spike nodded, "It's not easy losing your arch nemesis. Your Superman to Lex Luthor. Your Batman to the Joker. I mean I killed two Slayers and it was wonderful, but in the end it was just braggin' rights as there was always a new Slayer to take their place. The one Slayer I wanted to kill above all else I can't even kill thanks to this sodding chip. And now I'm her bitch and she doesn't have the courtesy to say…"

Spike stopped talking.

"What a sorry bunch we are, huh?" he said as he began to grin, "Me, a neutered vampire, you, having a neutered boyfriend."

"Watch it," Bulma said as she tapped her laptop, "Or I'll turn you into a full blown eunuch vampire."

Seeing that he had managed to get a rise out of her Spike shut up but kept grinning.

"So, speaking of your hubby," he asked, "How did you guys hook up together? We've always wondered how. What did he do to make you fall in love with him?"

"Why do you care?" Bulma asked surprised, "You're an evil vampire with a control chip up his brain."

"I don't get out a lot, I don't need to train so I watch TV a lot, I'm a sucker for a good sappy love story and I'm not going anywhere," Spike said deadpan, "So common, love, give us a good story."

Bulma gave him an odd look, then she shrugged and began to smile.

"Well, if you must know, it all started when…"

x

x

It used to be that the gravity gym was theirs, Xander mused as he watched half a dozen soldiers training inside the gym through the control window. The gym was fully controllable from the inside, with a large control panel next to the door that could be folded up behind a protective panel, but the same controls, with some additional features, were also on the outside. And the Army people preferred to use that one when their soldiers were inside. It was that practice, more then anything that made Xander feel that the gravity gym was no longer theirs. Hell, that the whole building no longer was theirs.

Which was ironic to say the least because the Army paid him and Belmovekk very well for the use of the facility. They even made him superintendent of the building, which now meant he had a honest to god legal job. Take that, you dead beat parents! I never finished high school, didn't go to college and yet I now have a better paying job then either of you ever did!

The downside was that it wasn't a front, these Army types actually expected him to do an honest day's work. Like keeping the place cleaned and maintained, and the vending machines, yes, there were actual vending machines now in the control room, keeping the vending machines stocked. And then there was the paper work.

There was so much paperwork involved that Xander wouldn't be surprised to learn that the main reason the Amazon rain forest got cut down was to restock the Army's supplies of form 3987-8B, the one he went through like there was no tomorrow.

Luckily the current batch of soldiers were still training so that meant that for the moment all he had to do was restock the candy machine. Normally he loved candy machines. There was something greatly fulfilling in inserting some coins into the machine and then be rewarded with a sugary goodness treat. Unfortunately to be the guy who has to stock them for others wasn't so fulfilling. And to make it worse he had to do it at least twice a day because hungry soldiers after a heavy workout went through them like wildfire.

There wasn't even the guilty pleasure of taking the odd candy bar when restocking the candy machine because they weren't his and the Army Supply Corps demanded meticulous records being kept.

And to top it off all the extra soldiers about the place made Max the cat all the more irritable.

"Meow!" Max protested indignant on top of the vending machine.

"Sorry, Max," Xander said as he closed the vending machine, "But this is the way it's gotta be from now on."

"Meow," Max said unimpressed.

"I know, change is hard," Xander said as he locked the machine and turned to the two Marines behind the control panel, "You guys are all stocked on sugary sweetness again."

The two Marines didn't even reply.

Xander wanted to say something but decided not to, instead he picked up the open boxes full of mars and snickers bars and turned around. Just as he was about to walk away one of the Marines turned around.

"You've got to do something about that cat, man," the soldier said in a complaining tone of voice, "It just keeps getting into the gym."

Again Xander bit down a retort. He was a friggin' recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the US. He had fought in the Cell Games. These two clowns hadn't. Were probably barely out of basic training back then. The least that they could do was to…

Calm down Xander, nothing to be gained about getting worked up over nothing. Unless you're always going to wear your medal they won't know and neither do you want them to know. Besides, if there's one thing the world will never run out off it's idiots.

"Good luck doing that," Xander shrugged, "We've been trying to do that for years."

"If you don't somebody else will," the Marine said back but Xander shrugged again as he walked away.

"Good luck with that either," he said, then when he was out of earshot he added, "that cat has survived stuff far worse then you bozo's ever could."

There was a storage locker near the entrance of the building that Xander now used to store supplies. There was also a hidden door to a nearby hidden basement, where Belmovekk had interrogated the demon Whistler, agent of the Powers That Be, maybe some others too, and which they had used for sensitive meetings away from prying ears of the PTB. But while Riley and a few others at the Army base knew about it, it probably wasn't a good idea to use a hidden compartment to store provisions.

Placing the open candy boxes in the storage locker, Xander pulled out a pen and went head to head with his current nemesis, army form 3987-8B. Once he had his administration in order he closed the door to the storage locker and locked it.

No sooner had he done so when the front door opened and in walked Buffy.

Except….., it wasn't Buffy.

Well, it was. And a Buffy he had once gotten very intimate with, now another lifetime ago.

As she saw him she stopped.

"Oh, it's you," she said.

"You sound…., disappointed?" Xander said after the mother of all awkward silences.

"I didn't think you'd be here," other Buffy said awkward.

"Obviously," Xander shrugged.

"Shouldn't you be….., elsewhere?" the other Buffy asked, causing Xander to scratch the back of his head and look uncomfortable.

"I….., uh," he stammered, "I kinda forgot."

"How can you forget?" she said accusingly, "It's not like we haven't been doing this for like six months!"

"Yeah, but…," Xander pointed to the gravity gym, "Today's the day of the sign over. The Army's taking over. There's already soldiers in there."

"Already?" she said surprised, "But the other gym's not even finished yet. Professor said two more weeks."

"It's been on the notice board for weeks," Xander said pointing to a notice board on the wall.

"Like I read those," the other Buffy huffed a little indignant.

"Well, maybe you should," Xander said a little indignant himself, "It's not like we talked a lot since you came back."

"You know my opinion," she said snide.

"Didn't the Big Guy tell you the transfer would be two weeks ahead of schedule?"

"I dunno," she shrugged, "He says a lot things. Other then his lessons I don't bother to listen to most of what he says."

"Typical," Xander sighed as he briefly closed his eyes, "Well, unless you want to wait your turn this is no longer our gym. So the Army's got first preference. And they've got soldiers lined up to use this place all the way back to the base.

"Then were are we going to train?" she asked, with just a hint of that pout that he always had found so adorable in either of the Buffy's.

"Well, until we got the gym we used to train in this park not far from here. But that got hit pretty bad during the Battle of Sunnydale. It's now under construction for luxury apartments," Xander mused, then he began to grin, "Did you just say we? As in us?"

"Fuck off, Xander!" she said angry.

"Geez, Louise, Buffy," Xander said defensive, "Why are you still so angry? You have no problems training with the Big Guy. The two of you were fuck buddies in that other reality. Why doesn't that bother you but I get to be the bad guy when it does me?"

"Because he's not Moe!" Buffy hissed angrily, "Because Moe died sacrificing himself to stop that monster Cell just long so the other Piccolo could send me back here with Alex with the Dragonballs! Because I had just lost one of only two men in my life that I ever loved and the other one's been acting like a huge dick over it! Because when I came here and asked if we could get back together again you couldn't get over me hooking up with Moe back home!"

"You were sleeping with Belmovekk!" Xander countered bitter,"Belmovekk! The Big Guy. After you had left and broken my heart! I went through hell trying to get to your reality. I got people killed over it! People who still haunt me in my dreams. Only to learn that you were sleeping with the Big Guy of all people!"

"I was lonely, he was lonely. Didn't mean I stopped loving you," she bit back, then she looked down, "I never stopped loving you, even when I was with Moe. And guess what. He was cool with that. When I got Alex it was his idea to name him after you. Even though he was the father it still meant I had a little part of you."

"And then I came back here and even though my heart was broken again because of Moe's death, part of me was glad because it meant seeing you again. And you rejected me, remember, flyboy?"

She put additional vitriol on the word flyboy, her old nickname for him.

"It was complicated," Xander said downcast, "Yes, knowing you were sleeping with your version of the Big Guy was hard on me. But I also had Angela to consider."

"Ah," other Buffy said derisive, "Your pornstar crush, or should I say crushed pornstar."

"Leave her out of this," Xander said defensive, "Angela went through hell for me. She deserves better."

"She's a friggin' vegetable," the other Buffy snorted, "We could have fucked all over your apartment and she couldn't care less."

"She's not a vegetable," Xander countered, "She notices far more then people give her credit for. And Anya says….."

"And there we go to the heart of your dirty little secret," other Buffy said as she turned around, "Anya."

"What do you mean?" Xander said flabbergasted, "She's just….."

"Your housekeeper?" the other Buffy snorted, "Your crushed pornstar's caretaker? Or…, your secret fuck buddy?"

"That's ridiculous," Xander said gasping for air, "Anya's not my…."

"You know, flyboy, you guys turned this place into a safe holiday resort," the other Buffy interjected, "Camp Hellmouth. But you don't patrol the place any more. If you did, you'd know that the local demons know everything about you guys. And the one thing they do know is that you're boinking your housekeeper, Xander Harris. You're nailing your crushed pornstar's caretaker in the same building where she lives."

Xander's face went through a thousand emotions, then it settled on one. Defeat.

"It's true," he said defeated.

"Do you love her?" the other Buffy asked, looking over her shoulder.

"No," Xander said as he slowly shook his head, "It's just that….., I was so damn lonely. You were gone, Angela's a wreck, and she….., she was just available."

Xander looked up, hoping against hope there might be a little sympathy in her eyes.

But there was none to be found.

"And to think you had the nerve to still throw Moe into my face," she said coldly. She then walked towards the door and opened it.

"Wait!" Xander called out after her, "Don't leave!"

She halted in the door opening but didn't turn around.

"I…, uh…., I can…..," Xander said incoherent, then he looked down.

"You wanted to say something, flyboy?" she asked curious.

Xander bit his lip, trying to find the right words. Then he briefly looked upwards. Where she was. Why did have to be so damn complicated?

"I thought so," other Buffy said, picking up on his dilemma and turned around again, "Too late for us, flyboy, we're in the hands of fate, you and I. And we keep on rolling the hard six."

And then she was gone.

x

x

While it was fun sharing a room in one of the campus' dormitories Willow sometimes wished, that she and Tara could get their own room together.

They had applied for one with the housing board of the University of California, Sunnydale branch. But they had refused on the grounds that Willow was still a freshman and that Tara was already a sophomore student. That housing for couples was in high demand and that they weren't going to risk assign one to a relatively new couple. When she had protested that they were an item long before she had applied for college the housing board dismissed it on the grounds that as far as they were concerned theirs was still a new relation as they had no records of it during Tara's freshman year.

Secretly, well, actually not secretly at all, Willow thought the real reason they had refused was because she and Tara were lesbians. California may be more progressive then the country as a whole, but the events of 9-11 and the Cell Games had caused a conservative backlash. Ranks were being closed all over the country (and the world in general for that matter) and there were some who considered gays and lesbians, while not as bad as the Islamic extremists that were seen as having started it all, only marginally less evil. And there were even some who preached that it was the moral degradation in society that was the real cause of all the bad things that had happened.

So basically it boiled down to you're gay, go fuck yourselves, just not on our campus.

She probably could have gotten a room quite easily if only she had used Belmo's government connections. But that meant having to ask the Saiyan. And he was as big a bigot as the rest of them.

No, scratch that. That was being unfair. By now Belmo could actually accept being in the same room with Tara and give her a hand without thinking the gay would rub off of her. He had come a long way indeed.

No, he would probably come through for her and knock some sense into the board. It was just that it was going to be the mother of all uncomfortable talks which she dreaded even more then her mothers sex talk.

Besides, she had plenty of money. If need be they could always rent a room off campus.

Since they lacked their own room together if the two of them wanted to 'get together' they usually 'got together' at Buffy and Willow's room. While Tara's roommate wasn't a bigot, she'd prefer not to enter her room only to walk into two women having sex together. Buffy on the other hand was quite okay with it as long as she got the heads up. She even had the good grace to check out their place using her chi sense before coming in.

So it came as quite a surprise when the door to their room suddenly opened and Belmovekk walked in.

"Willow, I am sorry to interrupt but I…., TORAK'S TEETH!"

Seeing the two women in the throws of passion the Disciple of Aldur put his hand over his eyes and made an immediate 180.

"I…., uh…., um…, this is…., I am…," Belmovekk stammered uncomfortably, "I will…, I must…."

While being walked in during sex was not one of their highlights of the day just seeing the Saiyan become really uncomfortable did have its compensations.

"If you're here to see Buffy, she's still in class for an hour," Willow said, then she looked at Tara and winked, "If you want you can wait."

"Me? Here?" Belmovekk said feeling terribly uncomfortable, "Torak's teeth! I could not do that. That would be terribly rude, not to mention totally improper. No I cannot do that, I must not, what would the neighbors say and I….., I will wait outside."

Opening the door Belmovekk stepped outside and closed it behind him. No sooner had he done when Willow looked at Tara again, then the two burst out laughing.

While they were laughing there was a knocking on the door, followed by the door opening again.

"I am sorry to interrupt again, but…, I…., um…, I kinda needed to talk to you, not Buffy," the Saiyan asked uncomfortably.

"Me?" Willow said surprised, then she looked at Tara briefly, then smiled a wicked grin, "Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Tara."

Belmovekk looked even more uncomfortable then when he had barged in.

"I would rather this would remain, um, private?" he said tentatively."

"Hello!" Willow said as she channeled her inner Cordelia, "Severe case of nakedness here! Private went out of the window as soon as you came through that door!"

"I can wait…, um…, outside if you would like," Belmovekk said pointing to the door.

"Still not going to change you being your usual ass over Tara," Willow said.

"Look," Belmovekk said as he rolled his eyes, "if I want to talk to you alone this is not about you being with, uh, Tara here. Believe it or not, I am not a complete slave to my, um, prejudices. You want me to be more accepting of Tara, here is me giving her my hand."

Belmovekk walked to their bed and actually took Tara's hand.

"Hello young lady, I am pleased to meet you," he said as he shook her hand, "I am sorry to interrupt your act of perv….., lovemaking, but I have need of your…., significant other. Now I know you would rather continue your….., lovemaking,
but if I would have to venture a guess I would say that the, um, romantic mood is already ruined anyway. Do try to take comfort that this not an act of personal dislike on my part but I need your partner's expertise in the area of magic."

"You do realize that she's a witch, right?" Willow said reprovingly, "That she's useful in her own right."

"Believe me, Master Giles already told me that several times this day," Belmovekk said with just a hint of exasperation, "I need you, not because you are a magic practitioner, I need you, Willow, because you are, like me, a disciple of Aldur. That white lock does stand for something."

Willow wanted to say something, but then Tara intervened.

"Just go with him," she said, "It's okay. He's right, the mood is ruined anyway. And I think that was the most he ever said to me after he learned we were lesbians."

Willow looked at Tara, then Belmovekk, then back at Tara. Then she began to smile.

"He did, didn't he?"

"I will be waiting outside," Belmovekk said as he made for the door.

"Why? You do realize we're already naked?" Willow called after him, "Might as well stay in here till I get dressed."

"Thanks for the offer, Belmovekk said as he opened the door, "But I think I just hit the limit of my tolerance. Maybe next time."

And then he stepped outside.

x

x

"You're a jerk, you now that?"

Willow found Belmovekk sitting outside on the steps of their building enjoying a cup of tea.

"Tea?" the Saiyan asked as he held out a thermos flask.

"Don't you tea me, you big Saiyan…., doodey!" Willow said angrily, "Why do you always have to be such an ass around Tara and me? Why can't you ever be nice when it involves Tara and me?"

"Maybe I can when I do not inadvertently walk into the both of you doing something that was illegal on a great many worlds that I know. And still a few states in this country as well I might add," Belmovekk said before taking another sip of his tea.

"Well, next time knock," Willow said, still huffed up.

"I shall remember that, oh will I ever remember that" Belmovekk said as he briefly shuddered, then he got up, "Let us walk."

"I don't get it," Willow said as they walked over the campus grounds, "I really don't. I thought that seeing two hot women having smoochies was most men's fantasy."

"Not this one," Belmovekk said as he emptied his plastic tea cup and threw it into a dust bin.

"That explains a lot," Willow said, "I bet you and Joyce do it under the covers with the lights out."

"I think I would rather fight Cell again then continue this particular conversation," Belmovekk said slightly uncomfortable.

"Fine," Willow sighed, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Well," Belmovekk said hesitantly, "It all started when Xander returned from Trunks and Mayan's alternate future….."

x

x

As was usual these days Giles was studying the Gypsy Prophecies again in the comfort of his own home. While they continued to prove elusive as usual, after a day's hard work with the Committee, the meeting in Belmovekk's old gravity gym, Spike's recent upgrades, the paperwork that came with running the Magic Box and the secret construction of another gravity gym, after all that making sense of the assorted gibberish of ranting Gypsies throughout the centuries felt like sheer relaxation. It was also one of the few things that still made him feel like he was a scholar and not some kind of, dare he say it, a manager?

Perish the thought!

No, while he felt overseeing the Committee and running the Magic Box were good contributions to the group, he still wished he could serve the group even more through good research. Preferably through some nice old book, even though as of late he had gotten…, okayish with the internet.

There was just no stopping progress really.

Well, who knew really. For all we knew when writing was first introduced there were probably cavemen who lamented the loss of the art of cave paintings.

Anyway, the end of the written word was still not at hand so Giles still took comfort in the written word.

Even if the prophecies that he was reading were in fact computer printouts.

While the Gypsy chronicles had proven themselves to be elusive during the Cell Games, as of late Giles was sure that he was finding all sorts of clues that something was going on. He had found at least three separate mentions of someone called "The Sister' and at least seven that mentioned 'The Beast'. And from what he could tell 'The Sister' was in terrible danger from 'The Beast'.

This was most worrisome because if recent discoveries hinted at anything 'The Sister' could very well be little Dawn. Now if only they could pinpoint whoever 'The Beast' was. Or why this 'The Beast' was after her. In a way it was worrisome, and yet at the same time Giles took great comfort that with this many clues whoever 'The Beast' was, he wasn't going to come out of the blue. At least some lead-in time could be expected.

It was a puzzle that he was looking forward to solve.

So there he was, fully immersed in his prophecies when a voice spoke up behind him.

"So whatcha doing?"

Nearly jumping a feet into the air thanks to his butt cheeks clenching Giles looked around and saw Buffy leering over his shoulder.

"Good God, Buffy," Giles gasped as he clutched his chest, "Don't do that!"

"Did I frighten you?" Buffy grinned maliciously.

"Only into an early retirement and massive coronary heart attack perhaps," Giles said still clutching his chest, "Can't you knock anymore?"

"And ruin all the fun of seeing you squirm?" Buffy said, "Where's the fun in that?"

"I'm glad to be a source of amusement to you these days," Giles said as he put on an aggrieved expression, "If that's all I am to you nowadays."

"Are you pouting, Giles?" Buffy said as she gave her old Watcher a stern look, "I'm in college doing all sorts of learny stuff and you're the one acting like a school girl now?"

"I'm not acting like a school girl," Giles protested as he took off his glasses, pulled out a cleaning cloth and began to polish them feverishly, "If anything it's you who…"

"My point exactly," Buffy interjected with a big grin, then she leaned over his shoulder to see what he had been working on, "So whatcha working on?"

"Nothing really," Giles said as he put down his glasses and quickly began to gather up the papers on his study desk, "Just something to help me pass the time."

"You study stuff for fun?" Buffy said incredulously.

"Who's the school girl now?" Giles countered, then his face clouded, "I'm sorry, that wasn't very adult from me, now was it?"

"As long as we're both in agreement," Buffy said slightly injured.

"Where are my manners?" Giles said after he had stashed away his papers, then put back on his glasses, "Can I get you some tea, Buffy? Or a soda? Anything?"

"Tea would be nice," Buffy sighed, then she sat down next to the dinner table as Giles went into the kitchen.

"You still take four lumps of sugar?" Giles called out from the kitchen, "Or have you finally joined the rest of hu….., never mind, six lumps, no milk, right?"

"Sure," Buffy called out.

When Giles returned he found Buffy playing absentminded with a pen.

"There you go," Giles said as he put one cup in front of her, "six lumps, no milk."

Then he sat down opposite of her with his cup.

"You know, I can't for the life understand why you always give me such grief over taking six lumps when you put milk in your tea," Buffy said as she put down her pen and took the cup of tea.

"I guess you can't explain taste," Giles shrugged as he took his cup, "So what bring you here? Other then scare away ten years of my life?"

"I've had another dream," Buffy said, then she blew briefly before taking a sip of tea, "a Slayer dream."

"A Slayer dream?" Giles exclaimed as he put down his cup of tea, then he stood up and fetched a notebook, "You mean one of those prophetic dreams?"

"Is there any other kind, Giles?" Buffy said.

"Well, there's the histo….," Giles said lost in thought, then he realized it was better not to divert, "Tell me what it was all about."

"Well, the thing is, it's getting pretty hazy," Buffy said a little hesitantly.

"Well, just tell me what you still know," Giles said reassuringly. Then Buffy told him what she still knew.

"So, let me get this straight," Giles said after he put down his notebook and summarized what he had heard, "You saw Spike having, um, sex with you, then you were in what you thought was the closing scene from the first Terminator movie, followed by the birth of your sisters where all our alternate versions from Trunks' and Mayan's alternate future were present and where you had a conversation with…. Yoda of all people."

"He's that little guy from Star Wars," Buffy quickly added.

"I know who Yoda is, Buffy," Giles said as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm not some monk. I did see the original movies. In the theatre when they were released in fact."

"Well, excuse me for forgetting that you're old," Buffy bit back, "And you don't seem like the type who watches movies a lot."

"You'd have to be a hermit not to know who Yoda is," Giles countered, "And as you may remember when you barged in my home when the Gentlemen were in town I do have a social life."

"And let us never speak of that again," Buffy shuddered.

Giles put down his pen as well.

"That aside it's obvious that this is not some sort of Slayer dream," Giles said, "The inclusion of a Star Wars character seems to hint strongly at that."

"What, you don't think a Slayer dream can express itself in any other way?" Buffy protested, "It can only do so in boring Councilcolor and dreary tweedamatics? That's stupid."

"Buffy," Giles said in as calm and soothing voice as possible to allay her, "Just because a dream is strange does not make it a prophetic Slayer dream. I highly doubt that it would include a cameo of Yoda."

"But he was high on the cryptic and…." Buffy countered.

"Buffy," Giles said now sternly, "Yoda always sounds cryptic. That's because he mangles the English language even worse then you do. Now, considering that these new movies are coming out and that you might be experiencing stress related from being in College and away from home I wou….."

Buffy opened her carrying bag and pulled out a dozens pieces of paper.

All of them had pen drawings of Yoda on them.

"I drew these in class today," Buffy said as she spread them all across the table."

"So you were inspired?" Giles said a little flabbergasted, then he picked up one of them, "This one is quite good in fact."

"I wasn't even looking when I made them!" Buffy said, sounding a little annoyed now, "I was taking notes in class when I looked down and saw I drew Kermit the frog here instead."

"Are you saying you drew these unintentionally?" Giles said as he re-examined the drawings.

"I drew this one just now when you were making tea," Buffy said as shoved one of Giles' paper napkins that had been lying on the table towards him, a portrait of Yoda's face on it, "I can't stop making them."

"I see," Giles said as he took off his glasses again and began to polish them, "This might, uh, change things."

Giles studied the drawings some more as Buffy slumped in her seat.

"Thing is, I can't draw him if my life depended on it, but when I close my eyes or look away, there he is," Buffy said mystified.

"I think you might be on to something," Giles said after a while.

"Thank you," Buffy said feeling vindicated.

"I'm still puzzled though what it all means," Giles said pensive.

"Well, obviously bad things are gonna happen," Buffy said, "It's a Slayer dream. We're not going to get a happy parade with fluffy bunnies that's for sure."

"I suppose not," Giles sighed wistfully, then he looked at his bookcase full of prophecies, "Still, we have to be careful though. We don't really know who sends these Slayer dreams. For all we know it's the Powers That Be and we know they cannot be trusted. Just look at what happened with Adam and that Majin monster."

"I know," Buffy echoed, "But what if it is a real warning? Kermit did say I should guard the sister. Are they coming after my sisters now?"

Giles briefly glanced at the papers containing the Gypsy prophecies lying on his desk.

"I will look further into this," he finally said.

"Thanks, Giles," Buffy said grateful, "You know, I don't say this often enough, but I'm glad I can trust you in this. Not that I don't trust Belmo but you were there for me first and he does have this habit of hiding things from me. What I'm trying to say is….., thank you."

"Why, I'm, uh, not sure what to say," Giles said a little surprised and uncomfortable at the same time. Because he was currently hiding things from her.

Damn you, Belmovekk, he thought, damn you and your secrets! We should have told her. We should have…..

"You know, the correct answer is to say thank you, Buffy, back," Buffy said with a sly smile.

"Thank you, Buffy?" Giles said a little uncomfortable, then he reached for his tea and took another sip, then he held the cup in front of him, like he was hiding from her behind her.

Meanwhile Buffy slumped back in her seat.

"I wish I could remember more," she sighed, "I keep thinking there's something I missed."

"It will come back to you," Giles said still hiding behind his cup, then he took another sip.

"I can't help escape the feeling it had something to do with Dawnie," Buffy said lost in thought, "That it tried to tell me something about her.

As soon as she said that Giles began to choke violently on his tea.

x

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AN: Discuss! Review! Hate!