Those little voices inside your head; they tell you what to do. They say, "Don't be scared, or spooked or surprised," Yet they see the emotion hidden in your eyes. Children think its someone else, but others know its you. They are the voices inside your head; they tell you what to do."
"Afraid To Fall But Too Scared To Call" by Evelyn
Four Weeks Ago
Austin …
"Mom? What's going on?" My voice asked frightened. We had heard a noise downstairs; my dad had gone down to see if someone had broke in.
"I don't know, …" She whispered back. The sound was broken glass, and a gunshot. That scared me, who would harm our innocent family with a gun. This I will never know.
When we had heard another gunshot, I ran down the stairs. Ignoring my mom's desperate calls for me to come back. I saw my dad sprawled out across the floor, a gunshot wound in his chest. My mom came down, but before she realized what was going on she was shot too.
My eyes snapped open as a gust of wind hid my face, making me shiver. I sat up and smoothed out my messy, blonde hair as I looked at my surroundings. I had fallen asleep on the park bench where I was playing last night. I had made twelve dollars yesterday. I needed to add that to last week's thirty.
My parents were murdered three years ago, when I was thirteen. After they died, the house and money was left to me. My aunt and uncle wanted me to move in with them, but they live in Colorado and I want to stay in Florida. So I lived by myself. My parent's will had a fair amount of money on it but I preferred to save it. I had no heating or air conditioning, I never learned how to drive, and I don't have any technology like a T.V., computer, or phone. The electricity bill would be too much.
Of course I did support myself but I wasn't alone. My cousin Riker moved in with me and he is of legal consent because he is twenty. He's not around a lot of the time though. He is always working, much like I am. But there is one difference. He is working toward his future. I have no future.
I wanted to be a musician for as long as I could remember. I have an acoustic guitar, which I play on the streets. Just another five dollars and I'll have enough to buy myself this month's groceries. My mind flashed to the last memory of my parents. The memory of them being murdered. I don't understand why we were the target out of so many others. I felt responsible for my mother's death. If I had kept quiet and not made her chase after me, then she could have survived. The murderer didn't know there was anyone else in the house until I blew it. I was so naïve and I'm not anymore. I know better, my past has changed me. I also don't know why the murderer didn't kill me. He killed my dad, who tried to protect us. He killed my mom, who tried to protect me. But he didn't kill me. He had grabbed a knife and I thought for sure I was going to die, but he had left me with a scar on my right cheek and ran away. I felt like the Harry Potter of the house, dad killed, mom killed, but me left unharmed except for a scar. It was very ironic. Of course my aunt and uncle are nothing like the Dursleys. They have five kids, and I bear quite some resemblance to my cousin Ross. And Riker is nothing like Dudley, even though Riker is never around so I don't see him. He is either working or with his girlfriend Dianna.
I don't cry over my lost family anymore, I still do have a family. I'm just not connected with them. I had cried out all my tears when I was fifteen because I had finally learned to accept my fate. This all must have happened for a reason, so I just lived with it. I have had suicidal thoughts before, but something always stopped me before I end up doing something I'll regret. I don't know why I still have a reason to live but I do. I can feel it. Music is what I live for. I looked around again, seeing people in rush hour traffic to get to work. I figured I must do the same. I tuned my guitar and attached my donation sign on my guitar case. I needed to get that five. The same old people always hear me do the same old covers. But I had to do the covers, I couldn't write a song to save my life. I wish I could but I just couldn't. So instead I strummed the chords and began to sing.
Recently I've been Been so many nights now Cause obviously she's out of my league Gotta escape now I'll put her behind me Cause obviously she's out of my league She's out of my hands Cause obviously she's out of my league Cause obviously she's out of my league Cause obviously she's out of my league
Hopelessly reachin
Out for this girl
Who's out of this world
Believe me
She's got a boyfriend
He drives her round the bend
Cause he's 23
He's in the marines
He'd kill me
I find myself thinkin about her now ohhh
But how can I win
She keeps draggin me in
And I know I
Never will be good enough for her
No no
I never will be good enough for her
Get on a plane now
Yeah
Off to LA
And that's where i'll stay
For two years
(I'll put her
behind me)
And go to a place where she can't find me ohhh
I'm wastin my time
Cause she'll never be mine
And I know I
Never will be good enough for her
No no
I never will be good enough for her
And I never know where I stand
Cause I'm not good enough for her (enough, enough, enough for her)
Good enough for her, good enough for her
I'm wastin my time
Cause she'll never be mine
And I know I
Never will be good enough for her
I'm wastin my time
Cause she'll never be mine
And I know I
Never will be good enough for her
But how can I win
She keeps draggin me in
And I know I
Never will be good enough for her
Cause obviously she's out of my league
But how can I
She keeps draggin me in
And I know I
Never will be good enough for her
Cause obviously she's out of my league
I'm wastin my time
Cause she'll never be mine
And I know I
Never will be good enough for her
No no
I never will be good enough for her
I held out the last note and sighed, looking at the gravel. I hadn't gotten that five. People weren't paying attention and I guess no one cared. All of a sudden I saw myself staring at a pair of brown ankle boots and a five-dollar bill being set in my guitar case. I looked up to see the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. But obviously she's out of my league.
Okay so I intended to upload yesterday when I finished writing but it deleted the whole thing so I had to start it over. It deleted three times but now I finally got it to work. So I hope I've got everything here because I couldn't remember half of what I wrote the first time. Thanks so much for the reviews guys! It means a lot to me! Oh, and also I don't own "Obviously". McFly owns that :)
-Evelyn