Thank you to Eurral Eseret and bookworm2608 for reviewing! You all can read Eurral Eseret's fanfics for hilarious Twilight stories! They're really good. Please R&R!

Emmett: Come on- yours aren't that bad either!

Rose: He's right.

Passion Assassin: Well…

Alice: nudges Edward

Edward: It is not terrible, but you make me sound…oh, rude.

Passion Assassin: Isn't it normal for you to be horrible to people who hit on you and such, especially when it comes to Bella (etc.)?

Edward: Yes, I admit you are being very realistic. But very soon, we will be-

Everyone else: SHH! The fans don't know that yet!

On with the fic!

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Vanessa's P.O.V.

I quickly put her finger to her mouth, using my saliva to stop the miniscule wound before the sharp senses of the Cullens picked it up. Edward was out of the house- I knew that much. I was definitely not Alice, but I usually made relatively accurate predictions. I slid down the railing, sailing down to the first floor where Emmett and Rose were predictably waiting for me on the couches. Flopping down elegantly, I stated the obvious. "He hates me."

"Well we wouldn't know- how could we possibly have heard your conversation?" From my sprawled position, I managed to throw a cushion at him, though he caught it, of course. Alice danced into the room, trailed by Jasper. He flinched at the smell of my blood, though the scent was seriously so slight that the others didn't smell it. Alice already saw it coming.

"He doesn't hate you, Vanessa, but that was kinda low, don't you think?" Jasper sat on a third couch, and Alice plopped down between his legs.

Rose sighed. "Now what did you do? We don't have the details, but we saw him go out the door like hell was on his heels. Or something was going to happen to the…" She trailed off, seeing what must have been an almost pained look on my face. I vanished it a second later, but too late for my superhuman friends. She shot me an apologetic look.

"But back on topic," Emmett prodded. I sat up and crossed my arms. After a split second thought, I decided to half-lie, half-be-sarcastic.

"I only flashed him," I answered innocently with a flutter of lashes.

"Oh, please," he snorted. "You might not dress like it, but you probably haven't kissed a soul in your life!" What the hell, how does he know?!

"I don't kiss souls; I kiss bodies- lips, specifically. As far as I know, so do most people when not including the details!" I don't think my annoyance completely covered the split-second embarrassment. Jasper knew it too.

"Actually," Emmett began. I quickly cut him off.

"I can vividly imagine how your love life must be," I assured him hastily. "WithOUT your special features. Really." It really would have worked if Alice and Jasper hadn't been looking expectantly at me, still. Traitors, I sent the message clearly through my eyes, and they grinned back. "Alright fine, a tiny little drop of blood jumped out of my finger. Palm, actually."

"That definitely justifies the pissed and annoyed waves I felt."

"As if Alice didn't tell you ahead of time!"

"That is not the point. This conversation consists of us lecturing you, not the other way around." Jasper concealed his mental smile perfectly. I could bet a million dollars that he was dying to beam innocently at me.

"Okay, go ahead then. I'll be napping right here." Uncrossing my arms, I dropped down on the cushions and stared observantly at their clothing and beautiful faces. Alice started the long speech.

"First of all, annoying is cute (I would know) to a certain extent. When it comes to Edward, however, there is a limit. You definitely crossed it."

Emmett took his turn next. Here we go… "It was stupid. Don't do it."

Rose was after him. "I definitely thought the first story was more amusing."

Jasper finished. "Strength is very personal and important to a male. The fact that he could have ended your life and that you were in control of him at that moment hurt his pride. Especially because you could have ruined everything he's been working on for over 80 years." I sighed sadly.

"You can't tell a girl all that stuff!" This was Emmett. "Especially a little manipulator like her! Guess we'll have to kill 'em all now." He looked at us. Jasper glared, but mock-tightened his grip around Alice. Rose looked at him with a disparaging expression. Her look said it all. Just go and try it

He looked to me. "If you kill me, you won't have anyone to torture about a screwed life, or how I'm plotting the next episode of Unrequited Love." Came my sour answer, which I knew he would accept.

"Good point."

'''''''

Two weeks passed without event. I had one sleepover at Rose's, which she told me was the only one of the year. Couldn't ruin her and Emmett's love life as well. They filmed it, and Emmett was very disappointed that I didn't talk in my sleep. He poked me a couple times, though, and I twitched.

In two days, I would put my plan into action. The only tricky part of this was that Edward was determinedly avoiding me, as was Bella. Not too much of a problem to me. After school, I walked to Edward's Meadow.

"What do you think you are doing here?" he hissed, his words laced with menace. I gripped a simple, silver dagger behind my back. I did not answer his question, but chose my words carefully to change the topic.

"I'm sorry for the other day," I began. He cut me off abruptly.

"Spare yourself the trouble. I will not believe a word you say."

"I didn't mean to have the emotional impact on you that it did. Please forgive me." I ignored the rude retorts, and brazened on. "But believe me when I say this is the last time…" I trailed off as I slashed a shallow line at the juncture between my neck and collarbone. He could not resist. His tongue trailed along the line, and silver venom entered my bloodstream.

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Well, read and review! I hoped you liked it, and I'll update when I have time, etc. I hope the turn of events was pleasant for all of you.

Edward: You can be evil sometimes.

Passion Assassin: Well, what can I say? Thanks.

Emmett: He meant it in a bad way, idiot.

Passion Assassin: Too bad.