Clare Edwards isn't Daddy's little girl anymore. As a stripper at Toronto's hottest strip club, Exit 69, everyman knows her name, except the one man she has been hiding from for the past four years. When Elijah Goldsworthy walks into the club one cool March night it takes everything Clare has not to run the moment she sees him, instead she gets up on that stage and bares all to the man that left her behind.

A/N: I'm going to Ohio on Wednesday to visit my best friend, and Maid of Honor, Molly, so I'm trying to write as much as possible until then, hopefully I'll have two or three more chapters completed by then. I'm spending the weekend in DC visiting my cousin, so maybe it will inspire me in some way. As I promised in the last chapter, there will be flashbacks in this installment, and you guys will find out who Cole's "daddy" one person guessed in their reviews, and had it correct, the next chapter will be dedicated to her, as well as two of my Tweeps, Shehadastory and HeatherPoulette, who are the only ones who already know who had hot sex with Clare.

This chapter is dedicated to five wonderful writers:

For the WAZAM, because her ability to take these wonderful characters and place them into a different story inspired me to write this, so thank you 3. If you haven't read Rockstar, get out from under your shell and read it, and then start Proximity. I am so excited to be beta reading her work, it makes me smile.

To musiksnob, who always writes what I believe to be, the most real situations on .

For Literarylolita, who had me the moment we started talking Spring Awakening (gah), who always writes incredibly sexy stories, yum. F

loorplanhobo, Vices and Virtues, "OMFG I loves them." She really has the IC Clare and Eli down.

And finally, the lovely Zephyr Hearts, who takes on so much in each story she writes and takes my breath away with each chapter.

Ladies, thank you for the inspiration.

As is expected, I do not own Degrassi, but I own a beautiful engagement ring, and a wonderful man...well I don't exactly own him, but, you understand.

So, on with the story.

Previously:

As much as I wanted to sit here and do nothing, maybe just cuddle up with a good book and go to bed, I had to talk to Eli, again. And somehow, he knew it was coming, and when he sat down beside me he looked at me expectantly, waiting for something to happen.

And it did.

He took one look at me, my makeup smudged, my hair a mess and when he smiled I did the only thing that was left for me to do in a situation like this.

I broke down and cried.

Clare's Point of View

I sobbed, tears plundered down my cheeks, hiccoughing, heaving breaths left my lungs and the most unladylike sounds came from my body.

Cole was sick, and I had no idea how to fix him, and in some way, it had to be entirely my fault, just like everything else has been. It was my fault I got pregnant with Cole in the first place. And then my parents kicked me out and I didn't have a job, or a place to stay, or any money to live off of, that was my fault. I had such a bright future, Harvard, pre-law, and I ruined that.

I shook my head to get rid of the nasty thoughts piling up. Cole might have been unplanned, but he was perfect, and nothing could change that, even if my plans had to change, so be it.

I wiped my nose on my sweatshirt sleeve, and looked at Eli, wondering to myself why he had followed me home.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that." I was tired, and emotional, considering I was on my period, I really had a low tolerance for everything at the moment, and that included unwanted blasts from the past. I looked away from him, wiping my eyes, hoping I wasn't too blotchy.

"Hey," he said softly, reaching over and lifting my chin so I would look at him. "Everyone needs a good cry every now and then, yours just arrived at an inopportune moment."

"Like everything else in my life." I gave him a weak smile and pushed myself up off the couch and into the small kitchenette, taking the plastic bag with the milk and ice cream with me.

The milk immediately went into the fridge next to a sippy cup of apple juice and some left over mac and cheese, I grabbed two spoons and the ice cream and ended up back on the couch.

"I hope you like Cookie Dough," I handed him the spoon and dug in.

Eli watched me for a moment, as I spooned a large mouthful of ice cream past my lips, he looked like he was contemplating asking me an important question.

"Clare, do you ever wonder what would have happened if we hadn't broken up?"

The question surprised me. Did I think about it? Yes, all the time. Those magical two words were what made up my existence, "what if." I looked at him wide eyed. How do you tell the only person you ever truly loved that they ruined it all for you?

You don't.

"You should have some ice cream, it's melting." He must have taken that as a no, and a second later he looked into his lap, trying to hide the pained look in his eyes. I felt awful, but sometimes lying, or in this case, omitting the truth is the best way to go.

He cleared his throat.

"So, now that were here, will you tell me what exactly happened, that is," he looked around the room, not meeting my eyes. "how did you end up like, well, like this."

I never though I would ever see Eli commit such a stunning display of verbal acuity, I rolled my eyes at the inside joke I shared with the man in front, if I said it, I would just be re-feeding him a line from high school. I kept my thought to myself.

"I mean, well, to be blunt-"

"You want to know who, what, when, where, why and how?" I laughed bitterly. "I thought you were an author, not a journalist."

His eyes widened and I realized that I let slip one of my biggest secrets.

"You know about my work." It wasn't a question.

I fucked up, again.

"You want to know what happened to me?" He gave a kurt nod.

"Do you have time?" He smiled goofily at me.

"For you, I have forever." As soon as the words fell from his lips my heart leapt, the fire in my belly, that had always existed for Eli roared to life.

And I told my story.

Flashback

It was about a month after Eli had left for college, Adam and I had stopped hanging out and I spent more time with Alli, who obsessed less about boys, and more about college.

"I want to go to TU, so that I can be with Johnny again, I miss seeing him every day." After she ran away, she had harbored a huge crush on her ex boyfriend, now a junior in college. She spoke nonstop about her short time there, talking about neuroscience, explaining how being on the math team would help her gain admittance, considering the drama in her school file.

We were heading out of the school and towards the bus when Johnny pulled up in his car.

"Hey, do you girls need a ride?" He smiled boyishly at Alli, who looked at me with puppy dog eyes, with a sigh I nodded and we got into the car.

After she kissed him on the cheek, Alli asked the obvious question.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have class?"

Johnny smiled as he pulled away from the school, following the road away from Alli's house.

"I have to pick someone up." I could tell that Alli wanted to know more, obviously hoping it wasnt another girl. Before she could actually say anything though, we pulled up in front of an apartment building, in a not so great part of town. Johnny got out his cell phone, and texted someone quickly.

"I hope it's ok Clare if Owen sits back there with you." I smiled and replied that it was no problem. And placed my backpack at the floor by my feat. Moments later a tall guy with cinnamon brown hair and freckles came out of the building. He was dressed in a suit that was a bit too big for him, and was talking to a woman with a black eye and a split lip. She kissed him on the forehead, handed him a manila envelope and pushed him towards the car,

"Sorry it took so long man, my mom was having some trouble with step-dad." My eyes widened, Owen Milligan got into the back seat beside me and continued to apologize for the delay, not exactly realizing who was in the car with him.

"It's ok Owen, no problem man, you don't have your interview for another two hours, and I really don't want to get back to the dorm yet, James brought his girlfriend home last night and sexiled me, I had to go to class in the same clothes I was wearing the day before. He still hadn't let me back in by the time I had left to come get you. I was thinking we could grab some food at the Dot."

Alli confirmed that she and I would be interested in dinner, and that is when he noticed me. His blue eyes were different, not necessarily clearer or anything, they just held different possibilities than they had before.

"Clare Edwards, my, haven't you grown up."

A shiver ran down my spine as he looked at me. That night, I made plans to see Owen again, this time, alone for our first date.

End Flashback

"You left and the first person to realize that I was more than just "that Christian girl" was Owen"

"You went out with Owen? After everything he had done to Adam?"

"I forgave him." I took a deep breath. "He helped me get over you."

Flashback

"You look beautiful." I met Owen at the Ravine after school, it was a friday night, so I didn't have too much planned, and it was my Dad's week with me. He wasn't all that involved in my life any longer. After the divorce my parent's had changed, Mom drifted towards sex, not trying to hide or explain why she was breaking her own rules, and Dad drank more. They blamed all of their problems on each other and I basically learned that they didn't exactly care any more.

That night, about two months after I had gone on my first date with Mark, we went to a party at Bianca's house, she was home for some break or another and I got drunk for the first time, That was a night for a few firsts actually.

End Flashback

"You slept with him?" My eyes met Eli's "Is he Cole's Dad?"

"Just listen."

Flashback

March of that year Owen and I were celebrating our fifth month anniversary. The next night we went to another party, this time at Ron Ron's place, his parents were gone, and Bianca had some E with her, and so we decided it couldn't hurt to try a little. It was stupid of me, I really shouldn't have done it. I had gotten into Harvard's pre-law program, and had a full scholarship, if I had been arrested, it would have all been taken away. Drew was there, as was Fitz and some other people I recognized from Degrassi, but didn't really know, like Marisol, om the Spirit Squad, and Jess, she was in her third year. After we split the pill, I kissed Owen and whispered that I'd be back, and went off to find something to help me swallow the drug. I found some wine coolers in the kitchen.

End Flashback

"After that, I remember bits and pieces," my eyes were filled with tears. "But what I took, wasn't E."

I needed a second just to breath, and he rubbed my back gently, taking the carton of ice cream and the spoons and setting them on the coffee table.

"I came out of the fuzzy daze to find myself naked and Fitz pulling up his boxers. I was bleeding, and I wasn't on my period, and I knew that he raped me. I think I screamed after that. Nine months later Cole was born. My parents kicked me out, Owen and I broke up and I turned down Harvard. But even with all of that shit, I have the best baby boy I could wish for."

"But Owen called earlier?" Eli was pissed off, and confused at the same time, if it seems possible.

"He's still Cole's daddy, just not by blood." I gave him the answer I would give Cole one day, if he ever asked. "That, and he and Alli are dating now, and before you ask, no, it doesn't bother me."

Eli's Point of View

I was pissed. Clare told me everything, all of the pain and sorrow and all of the candy coated moments of her life after me, or at least the highlights, and all I could think of was what that Monster did to her. He pretended to be religious and then stabbed her with his stubby dick.

"What happened to Fitz?" I wondered out loud.

"I pressed charges, he's in jail at the moment, for all I know he could be out. I really try to avoid thinking about him"

I looked at the woman I still loved, now that she was back in my life, I had to find a way to break up with Noah, nicely, and claim Clare once again as my own.

I never should have broken up with her, but I needed to distance myself from her, as much as I wanted to spend every moment with her for the rest of my life, I could sense that something was going to happen, much like the situation I had with Julia. The fight Julia and I had before she died all happened in a jealous rage, I was afraid that if Clare and I remained together, in a long distance relationship, that I would lash out of her, and not trust her, believing that she was cheating on me at every moment I couldn't be in contact with her. I'd rather that she hate me for breaking her heart, than to hate me for scaring her away.

She looked so tired and small sitting beside me on the couch.

"Would you mind if I stayed here tonight?" She looked at me shocked and then nodded her head.

"I'll make up the couch for you, it's a pull out. She went down the hall, and brought back some sheets, a pillow, a towel, and a comforter.

"Owen sometime's sleeps over when he babysits Cole," she explained why she was so prepared for visitors. "I kind of expected him to be hear tonight, instead of Alli, but he had to work as well."

I helped her move the coffee table and open the couch, before heading into the kitchen as she made up a bed for me. I put away the ice cream, rinsed the spoons and put them in the dish washer.

When I came back to her she was placing the towel onto the kitchen table.

"To be honest, I'm glad you are here, I really need some one to be here tonight, after what happened to Cole today, I guess I feel better knowing that if he woke up again I would have someone beside me to make sure he was ok. That's the hardest part, I guess, of being alone."

A/N What do you think is wrong with Cole? How does Eli break up with Noah? Should he be worried that Clare won't want to be with him?

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