12th January 2014
Dear Diary,
Skull Boy has been a little quieter than usual and I'm not sure why. I think maybe he's stressing out over school and grades or what happened recently. Maybe he hated that cape because it clashed with my red hair. At that time, he claimed to be related to a long line of models. Anyway, I wanted to cheer him up but something told me a party won't do. Maybe just a little something to show that he's appreciated and he means the whole world to us. After all, we forget that there's air around us and we sometimes take our friends for granted.
So, we decorated his locker so that it would be better than any other locker that ever existed in the history of lockers! While they were small, something told me that it would put a smile on his skull. Like...
• High-quality bone magnets
To hang up his notes, school-related or searching-family-related. And magnets are far more responsible than tape, since they don't leave any sticky residue. Might tell him that because he prefers tape to anything else that can be used to stick something. Ask Poe later.
• Shelf paper
It can cover up that drab-colored locker shelf. Research shows that 87.9% of students spill stainable substances, and I think Skulls takes a good chunk of that percentage, judging from the strawberry jam in between his toes.
• Air freshener
After inhaling stinky fumes from Mad Science class, he would love nothing more than to smell lavender and rosemary! Well, I know I would.
• A BAZILLION photos of us!
By us, I mean the gang and him. Not me and him. Only he and I have those anyway... sigh!
To top it all off, there was a huge pile of candy and assorted decorations inside... and later, we found out, Misery's precious salt shaker that was salvaged from the Great Fire of London of 1666.
And Skull Boy was walking towards his locker!
So Frank and Len distracted him, under the alias of Norbert Rufus Donald Edwardo, a famous volcanologist. Everyone was hoping that they could convince Skulls that he was a descendant of a long line of volcanologists as Misery started trying to open his combination with her shaky fingers. (It's hard to do so when you have frostbite from going to Antarctica to see your sister twice removed but the reunion was heart-warming.)
From down the hall, I could hear Frank putting on a Southern drawl,
"Well, howdy! Nobert's the name and volcanology's my game, yeah!"
Good new was, Misery eventually got it open, dug through all the streamers, and found it. Thank goodness!
Bad news? Skulls easily saw through Frank and Len and saw us rummaging through the locker. I told him that we wanted to do something nice for him because he's such a good friend, and Frank and Len pretended to be his idol because we didn't finish before the bell rang. And then he smiled…that big, awesome smile I loved.
There was just one tiny, eensy, bitsy problem. He kinda kissed my cheek in front of everyone.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I love it when he kisses me, though I kinda wish it was on another part of my face, like, my lips? That, and nobody knew of our recently developed tradition.
So... Iris, please don't spread rumors. Even though I wish that they were true.
(I KNEW IT! I gotta post this! Finally, some juicy stuff! Most entries were filled with doodles, movie and recipe ideas, lists of homework and... skulls? Huh? – Iris Degloom)
13th January 2014
Ok, I've gotta prepare Doom's bath now. Let's go through my checklist again...
• Iodine
• Bandages
• Gauze
• Bullwhip
• Strait-jacket, extra small
• Helmet
• Brass knuckles
• Rope
• Elbow pads
Great! So, the bathing equipment is all that's left… I hope Misery still has that bottle of rosemary pet shampoo which she used to wash her Aunt Morose's pet, Tanya, the Tasmanian Devil. If she has finished bandaging herself. I helped her out with her arms and legs but I couldn't do anything else.
How did it happen? Well, we were sailing at the Gloomsville beach. It went pretty well until the wind started blowing viciously.
Note to self: Don't bring Misery along when she's having the hiccups.
Our boat nearly tipped over. Somehow, during the high winds, our cooler fell into the ocean. So, Frank and Len jumped in after it with their guitar as a surfboard which surprisingly worked. The mystery of how they even managed to get their guitar floating was solved when I took one glance at Skull Boy, who was grinning widely and playing with a remote control during Frank and Len's adventure. Once they got the cooler back on the deck of the boat, however, we discovered that it wasn't even ours. It was full of live crabs. However, at least I have discovered the formula to one of life's mysteries;
Misery + Crabs = Total Chaos
14th January 2014
Dear Diary,
I ran the dishwasher after getting Doom off it, scrubbed the kitchen counters with a brusher, evacuated the dust bunnies before dusting the banister since they wanted to move houses, neatly arranged the cobwebs in one of the corners of the walls where Misery usually counts them, ran some laundry through the washer and sorted out kite materials from cute tops and dresses, cleaned all the windows inside and out before placing the dust bunnies there, threw the clothes into the dryer, scrubbed and vacuumed the floors after releasing the dust bunnies to feast on some old furniture outside. Tending to the weeds so that they would grow faster. I spent all morning doing this and more, before I finally collapsed on the couch.
Then I realized that nobody ever cleaned the house... so why did I do that?
15th January 2014
Dear Diary,
Studying Mercutio's famous "Queen Mab" speech has become a rite of passage for students, but we've got to admit that the fantastical speech is a bit baffling to us, in a fun way.
(Yeah, for you - Iris Degloom)
According to Mercutio's vivid description, Queen Mab is a tiny fairy that rides around in a coach made out of an "empty hazelnut" with spider's "legs" for wheel spokes. The coach is driven by an even tinier "grey-coated gnat" and drawn by a team of little atoms.
Queen Mab spends her time galloping over the noses and lips of sleepers, filling their dreams with wild fantasies, with lovers dreaming of love, soldiers dreaming of slitting throats, lawyers dreaming of winning lawsuits. However, when she's in a bad mood, she plagues women who dream of "kisses" with nasty cold sores. I think all that Queen Mab needs is a party to liven her up and dance the night away. And great company, like her loyal friends who help her visit our dreams. Speaking of which, I better make sure my dream is presentable. I wonder what type of dream I'll have tonight.
(You kissing Skulls! Come on Ruby! Admit it already! - Iris Degloom)
16th January 2014
The mega mall stood like a proud father in the middle of the shopping district, puffing out its chest by throwing its doors open. Throngs of shoppers flooded the malls in search of the best bargains. Gold and platinum credit cards changed hands constantly at cashiers coupled with the 'cha-ching' of cash registers signaling yet another sale. The agonized faces of alpha males waiting for their girlfriends and wives were clearly seen everywhere in the women apparel section. Including my male friends.
So I gave them a mall scavenger hunt to keep them preoccupied! (Skulls, or should I say Captain Skull Boy, nearly wanted to bomb the area and steal a parrot from a pet store. Iris, why did you bring your canon along?!)
(For fun! I didn't know it could be used as a weapon! – Iris Degloom)
I made a list of 10 things that they each needed to take pictures of, and once they were done, they had to meet up at the food court and tabulate their scores.
Here was the list:
1. An old lady holding a baby on an escalator. One point awarded.
2. A girl trying on super high-waisted jeans. 2 points awarded.
3. A heel bigger than six inches. 3 points awarded.
4. A man in cowboy boots, a cowboy hat and a gun. 4 points awarded. (Call the police if he starts brandishing the weapon)
5. A sales associate wearing WAY too much makeup. 5 points awarded. (Don't stare too long)
6. A bottle of perfume that cost more than $100. 6 points awarded. (Bring a sample if you can)
7. A cute couple with one of them being a red-head on a date. 7 points awarded. Win game if the women tells you how a girl should get her best boy friend as her boyfriend.
8. A cat doing the Harlem Shake, 8 points awarded. (Doom Kitty, 5 o'clock in the evening)
9. A clown in a mini car, 9 points awarded.
10. Poe near a train set. You win the game already!
Len eventually won the game, by tricking poor Poe to go and check out the Locomotive, one of the biggest train sets in the mall. He lost $10 when he had to pay for Poe's bandages but at least everyone was okay. Maybe I should just get them to watch a puppet show next time.
28th January 2014
Dear Diary,
Remember you wondering what would be my worst day ever? Well, today was the worst day ever. On hindsight, it was possible to laugh. Yet, Iris has now stopped juggling baby elves, Skull Boy is helping Frank and Len nurse their injuries, Poe's 'creative' juices have stopped flowing, Scaredy has fainted, Doom is fanning him and I am certainly not the happiest girl in the world right now as we await Ms Glinda's rage. Everyone was helpless to prevent the onslaught of problems on that day in Horror High.
Achievement Day, 2014, is one of the grandest nights of the school year, with prefects ushering parents to watch their children receive awards and the performing arts groups presenting their finest pieces. Alumni members and honored guests were also part of the festive crowd. As the head organizer of the event, I had drawn up stage plans, coordinated all performers, arranged the items, and settled a myriad of details.
So, at least you know why I've kinda abandoned you. Sorry for neglecting you, dear diary. I'll try not to do that again.
Anyway, on that night, I made my rounds around the entire backstage area, ensuring that everything was in position, doing a roll call... using Iris as a megaphone.
"Okay people, we're on in ten minutes. Go, go, GO!" She exclaimed.
Misery was helping Skull Boy with the lights because she was, well, attracting a lot of electricity that provided a lot of energy. Skulls just had to position her very carefully. The one time he left her unattended, I got an electric shock but it was fantastic! My head was a host of fiery, uneven curls thanks to that jolt. Some were small and spirals, some were medium and tight, some were loose, and some were whopping barrel curls. I loved it!
There was a mad scramble as all the group leaders of the respective clubs lined up. We could hear the teachers, parents, and other students filing into the school hall for the event. I grinned in anticipation as Frank and Len, the student emcees began to address the audience,
"Good afternoon, everyone! What's up?" Frank greeted everyone, until Len answered,
"Well, the lights for the drama, dance and choir performance, Skull Boy who is in charge of the lights and sound, and Ruby with her cute curls. Wow, I'm surprised Skull Boy hasn't made a mistake yet, with her around as a nice distraction," He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at that, "in fact, no boy has flirted with her. Just wait until the end…"
"Len! Stick to the... wait, nobody has seen Ruby… oh boy, oh boy! Things will heat up when she comes … OW!"
You would think that this is where my troubles started, when Skulls threw Doom's favorite ball of yarn (filled with dust bunnies now) at them and she tackled them to the ground. Of course not! It happened AFTER Frank and Len got out of Doom's clutches.
"Sorry, anyways, Achievement Day is, like, the pithiest of the best celebrations in the year where we commemorate our student's various winnings in the various activities. Be prepared to be dazzled by our upcoming performances, and be proud of your child, fellow classmate or student when they receive their prize. But first, let's meet the man who created this day!"
That was when the horror started. They pumped their fists into the air. Oh yes, that gesture drew lots of laughter from the crowd and some even returned it. Too bad it knocked the glass of water over the notes and microphone. A slight hiccup, and they were mortified until a new microphone came. It was then the Guest-of-Honor came. His speech drenched, he ad-libbed his way through the talk. Unfortunately, by the time he had gotten through his third childhood anecdote, even the principal was getting impatient.
It went downhill rapidly.
The order of prizewinners got confused and both Frank and Len were reading out names that did not fit,
"The Best Swimmer goes to Shif!"
A bewildered giant in her tutu paused, causing a small earthquake on stage as laughter, though quickly stifled, swept through the crowd. It did not help when a small elf in the crowd caused quite a commotion by throwing up rainbows in the aisle. Misery and Iris unwillingly had to clean up the mess and escort the parents and child to the Prefect Room to rest. Frank announced the choir performance with a flourish… and the curtains remained absolutely shut. The next time, Len announced it again, emphatically, and the curtains inched forward for only the stage members to see the choir still hurrying into position; distracted by the child, they had missed their cue.
They finally streamed onto the stage, and the members of the choir stood in rows. Those at the back stood on an elevated platform to ensure that they could be seen. They began with a melodic and beautiful piece. However, just as the voices reached a resounding crescendo, everyone heard a jarring crack! As we watched with rising fear, the platform suddenly gave way, and the singers at the back sank down in a cloud of dust bunnies. Thankfully, the platform was low and no was hurt, but the audience was filled with mirth. The choir retreated, embarrassed and upset. I gasped,
"Oh no! Are they ok?"
The worst thing was that although I was in charge, I could not help them once they were on stage. So I did the next best thing,
"Ok, drama members, perform!"
It was a thrilling play, about a girl who wields a magic sword and defeats great enemies. I was leaning on the huge plastic prop that was lying against the wall, pleased that the event was progressing well at last. Then, it hit me.
What was I leaning on?!
I looked and my heart sank. I had the great, magic sword! I had helped the protagonist hold it while he was adjusting his costume, and both of us had forgotten it. Without the most important prop, the play came to a sudden awkward halt halfway. I could only watch miserably. After a short, embarrassed silence, the protagonist impulsively sprinted into the wings, grabbed the sword from me, and rushed back out. The play was ruined by then, for the audience was practically rolling on the floor from derisive laughter.
We ended with a disastrous dance routine. Rendered nervous by the unexpected failures of the previous items, the performers messed up their steps and the dance featured a spectacular face-first by the lead dancer. By the time the crew played 'What's the big deal?' (Misery and Skull Boy honestly had no idea how that got into the school system) instead of the school song, I managed to get a glimpse of the principal's face. She had at least stopped looking furious but was now grimly resigned.
Oh no, she's here...
(Ruby, you will be fine. We'll all help you, promise. – A supportive Iris Degloom)
Principal Glinda, a magic sorcerer from another land that she called Oz, opened her mouth presumably to give both Councillors and performers the talking-to of a lifetime, when Misery popped in, twisting her pinafore in terror, and hiding her face. There was a good reason, her face was swelling up like a balloon. She whipped out a chalkboard that screamed the words,
"Several others, including myself, had an allergic reaction to Poe's nuts and birdseed at the buffet."
"What? I didn't serve any nuts or birdseeds!" He squawked.
So the principal called me to her office. Iris nearly strangled her while trying to help me. She is one great but dangerous friend.
(I know— Iris Degloom)
The room had the exact things I expected of a headmaster's room; a well-worn sofa, matching chairs, a fireplace complete with a portrait of Horror High's founder, immense wood desk, expectedly immaculately clean with a quill. Where were the dust bunnies when you needed to squeeze them?!
(I knew I should have brought one along! – Iris Degloom)
29th January 2014
When she first arrived, almost all of us thought that we had it made. After all, the infamous skeletal dragon lady of the school teaching staff, Ms Skelitta, was now replaced by a petite lady who looked as if she had walked out of a Victorian novel. Yet, nobody knew why Ms Skelitta was gone. I did. It was because of me. Ms Glinda refused to believe anything that I've said about her.
(It wasn't your fault! Ruby, please don't be upset. :C – Iris Degloom)
Everything about the new teacher, Ms Govin, showed her as a demure and genteel lady. From her horned-rimmed glasses to her shy manner, she was the epitome of the 'bully-able' teacher. Ms Glinda introduced her as a fresh graduate from the teachers' training centre. The former warned us against playing any pranks on her, to which we all exhibited slight shock at such a slight possibility.
Once the principal had left the room, Ms Govin literally stripped off her mask of civility and turned a cold eye on us before transforming behind a green cloud.
Normally, I wouldn't judge a book by its cover so I mostly ignored how she looked. Besides, at that time, I thought that she would be a good teacher. The others however, were horrified by her appearance. Iris claimed that she was hideous, with that sinister smile. Her hair was lank and lusterless, falling around her like strings of rotting straw, according to her. The teacher's lupine eyes, savage and cunning, only came to life when she listed class rules that she expected us to follow — all 101 of them. They perched above her hawkish and hooked nose, from it sprang the most preposterous wart, at least the size of a saucer, Frank noted.
Before we had even started to breathe from her long list of do's and don'ts, she launched straight into the lesson. A subject as interesting as History began to weigh heavily on us as she lectured on the subject in an expressionless manner. Even Ms Skellita's usually strict style of management was tempered by her lively discussions of historical events with us. Misery's arms weren't the only ones aching this time as she insisted we copied notes from her lesson. When the bell rang, we all heaved a collective sigh of relief.
It may have been a bad start but maybe tomorrow, we'll realize how great she is... :D
(Yeah, right...)