A/N Stephenie Meyer's owns all Twilight characters

BPOV

The rain was cool; it soaked my face, streaking my makeup. I wiped my face, smearing mascara and eyeliner. I was pretty sure I looked like a maniac. I know I sure as hell felt like one.

I walked to my car, occasionally glancing over my shoulder. I was so embarrassed, I felt like the worlds biggest hypocrite. Here I was suspecting Edward of having an affair and I had pretty much so just screwed my boss.

I unlocked the car and slid behind the wheel. The rain pounded on the roof and windshield. I turned the overhead light on and looked at myself in the rearview mirror. I looked like shit, I pulled a tissue out of my purse and wiped at the smeared mascara. Satisfied I looked slightly less maniacal; I started the silver Volvo and headed for Alice's.

Her lights were on when I pulled into the driveway. I shut the car off and knocked on her door. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my middle. Alice pulled the front door open, her smile vanished instantly.

"Bella what's wrong? Are you okay?" Deep worry lines appeared in the corners of her eyes, "Is Edward okay?"

I nodded, my teeth chattering. She grabbed the sleeve of my ruined sweater and pulled me into her house.

"Come on; let's get you out of those clothes. I can't believe you were out in the rain in that sweater with no coat on."

She disappeared into her room and came back with a towel and a pair of fluffy, warm looking pajamas. "Go take a shower and be ready to tell me what the hell is going on when you get out."

"Okay," I chattered and took the towel. I shut the door behind me and set my wet clothes in the sink. The water was deliciously warm; I let it pound my back as I closed my eyes.

Jake's cologne crept up my nose, and crept along my senses. My eyes snapped open and I pulled the shower curtain back, making sure he wasn't really here.

The bathroom was empty, my clothes were gone from the sink, but no sexy artist was waiting for me. I closed my eyes again and stuck my head under the water. I felt his hands on my waist, breath on my neck. I opened my eyes again, my heart racing. I let out a shaky breath and quickly washed my face and body, then shut off the water. Alice's fluffy pajamas were sitting on the shelf above the toilet. I quickly dried off and slipped the pajamas on. I could hear the television on in the living room; I walked slowly down the hall.

"Yes, she's here Edward. I don't know what happened. She just showed up on my door step soaking wet, looking like something the cat drug in."

Alice paused; I couldn't hear what Edward was saying.

"Whatever Edward. You're just being ridiculous. I just told you your girlfriend showed up at my house at 8:30 at night looking like hell on a cracker and you could care less. What happened to you? You used to be such a nice guy."

The phone beeped and Alice muttered under her breath. I walked into the living room and sat down next to her on the couch.

"Hey," she beamed. "All better?"

I shook my head yes, the feel of Jake's lips on mine flashed into my head. I shook my head no.

"Bella you have to tell me what happened. Did someone hurt you?" Alice asked tenderly.

"No. No one hurt me," I told her.

"Well what happened?" Alice asked apprehensively.

"I did something…bad," I whispered. "I kissed Jacob Black." I braced myself for the tongue lashing I was expecting Alice to deliver. She surprised me, taking my hands in hers. "You jack ass," she scolded me, "I thought something bad had happened."

"Something bad did happen Al. I kissed him…and I liked it," I sobbed.

Alice laughed, "That's not bad. Well, it's kinda bad." Alice looked thoughtful for a minute. "You know we're gonna have to figure out what we're gonna tell my brother. He called while you were in the shower."

I stuck my chin out defiantly, "I'm not going to tell him anything."

Alice shrugged, "Suit your self. It's not my relationship."

"Alice?" I asked in a small voice, "Would you still be my friend even if I didn't date your brother?"

She looked at me, aghast, "No. I would probably never speak to you again." She dropped the façade, "Of course I would still be your friend, dummy."

I leaned back into the couch, the cushions sucked me in. Alice leaned back and looked at me, "So, tell me about this kiss."

I recount every sordid detail of my make out session in the darkroom with Jake.

"You should have just done it, made out with him," she said, "You would've had a reason to feel guilty then. I don't think you did anything wrong."

I sat there staring at her while she picked at her fingernails, "I'm dating your brother and you're telling me to fuck my boss?"

Alice shrugged, "You said so yourself you think he's cheating on you. So fuck him, sleep with Jacob Black. I googled him today; you'd be crazy not to."

"You googled him? What are you, some kind of stalker?"

"You said he was good looking, I wanted to see just how good looking he was." Alice looked at me like I was out of my mind, "If you don't fuck him I will."

"Yea, well after what happened I highly doubts he'll ever want to see me again. I acted like a fool." I looked down at my own fingernails, feeling humiliated.

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Alice told me, "Don't pick at your nails, it's a nasty habit."

I smirked at her, "Whatever. They're my nails, I'll pick at them if I want to. And I don't want to find out; I can't believe I even let myself get into that situation."

"Oh shut up. You put yourself in that position because you wanted to, plain and simple. You wanted him to do dirty things to you; and if you say I'm lying I'll smack you. Now when you go home in the morning, you call him and find out if he wants you to come back. Chances are he's just as embarrassed as you are."

JPOV

I slammed my fist down on the table previously occupied by Bella, What the hell was I thinking?

This was how it started with Leah. She'd come to sit for a painting; a gift for her fathers birthday.

Turned out Leah and I knew each other. We had gone to school together. I never really paid much attention to her. We graduated and went our separate ways until she showed up at the studio. We became friends while I painted her picture. We'd talk about her family, seems her father and I mine had been friends once upon a long time ago, her friends, everything and anything she wanted to share I wanted to know.

Four Years Ago

It was summer, warm and most importantly not raining. We had walked the twelve blocks to the movie theater. One the walk back home we stopped for ice cream cones and walked the humid streets licking melted vanilla ice cream off our fingers. Heat lightening illuminated the dark sky. Leah jumped and grabbed my hand. I had like the way her small hand fit perfectly in mine. The lightening continued, followed by the perceptible sound of thunder, gently rumbling in the distance.

Two blocks from the studio, huge drops of cool rain fell heavily from the sky.

"Come on," I said tugging on Leah's hand. She had shrieked with girls delight and trailed behind me as we ran through the rain.

We reached the building that housed both the studio and my apartment, I yanked the door open and we ducked inside the narrow hallway. The door slammed behind me making Leah jump.

"Wow," she laughed as she wiped the rain off her face, "Where did that come from?"

I stood there staring at her, soaking wet and dripping rain water all over the checkered tile. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.

I moved closer to her, grasping her face in mine and pressing my lips to hers; possessive, demanding. I made no concessions, no apologies. My tongue stroked into her mouth, nudged against hers. Leah gasped in my open mouth. I could feel the edge rushing toward us, the end of life as I knew it; and I pulled back. "Come on," I had said to her, "Let's go get you some dry clothes so you don't get sick."

That night had changed everything; Leah moved in a few weeks later, and we'd gotten married six months after that. Then another rainy night two years later had irrevocably altered my life yet again.

I sighed deeply and raked my hands through my hair. I'd really gone and messed things up good this time. My heart beat heavily in my chest, past and present scenes drifted before my eyes; faces blended, Leah melted into Bella who melted back to Leah.

I grabbed my chest, struggling to breath. Leah's voice swirled around in the darkness, "I'm leaving…can't live like this…I can't believe you let him drive…Good bye Jacob."

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, "Just shut up and leave me the hell alone." I swung the revolving door and stumbled into the studio. The ghosts of Jake and Leah past were making love on the work bench and making out on the red velvet chaise. It was all too much to take; I stumbled out of the studio and bolted up the stairs.

In the kitchen I ripped the refrigerator door open. My hand closed around the cold Coors can and with trembling fingers I popped the top, greedily swallowing.

"That won't help, son," my father said from a dark corner of the kitchen. My eyes widened, "You're not real," I said angrily. "You're dead. Your killed yourself you bastard."

"Only my body is dead," he said wisely and disappeared.

I dropped the empty can to the floor and cried for everything that I'd lost that night. A million 'if only' scenarios played out in my mind, if only I stopped my father from leaving in the first place, if only Leah had stayed home, if only I'd gone instead of Rachael. A million what ifs was all I had left now.

BPOV

Edward was already gone when I entered the apartment that morning. In the kitchen there was a note propped against the coffeepot. I picked it up and read it, rolling my eyes. Whatever asshole, I thought and tossed the crumpled note in the trash can.

Bella,

Will you be coming home tonight after work, or can I expect another frantic phone call from Alice saying you showed up on her doorstep soaking wet and in tears?

Edward.

I took Alice's advice and decided to call him. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I had set the phone down and picked it up six times. Yes, literally six times, I counted. The seventh time I picked it up; I bit the bullet and dialed. I cradled the phone to my ear and listened as it rang.

"Hello," a gruff voice said.

"Um hi. I was trying to reach Jacob Black," I said anxiously.

"This is him. What do you want?"

"This is Bella; Bella Swan. I was just calling to find out what time you wanted me to come in today. I left in such a rush, I forgot to ask." Yeah, go me, I thought, play it cool.

The line was quiet for a long time; I thought he hung up on me.

"Hello?" I said in a timid voice.

"You still want to come in?" Jake finally said.

"Yes. You hired me to sit for your painting and that's what I intend to do. I don't like doing things half-assed."

"Okay."

He sounded stunned, like he hadn't expected me to be so cool about the whole situation, "Can you come at three?"

I glanced at the clock, "Yes."

"Okay, so I guess I'll see you at three."

"See you then," I said and hung up the phone.

I needed this job for starters, second, if I quit suddenly Edward would start interrogating me and that was the last thing I wanted to have to deal with.

And not to mention what Alice said, I put myself in that situation because I wanted to be there. The more I thought about the more accurate it sounded. I thought he was attractive, my own relationship was in the swirling the drain, so why not make out with an attractive artist in a darkroom.

As I left for the studio I couldn't help feel a teensy bit of excitement. I tried to shove it down, but every few seconds the bubbles of excitement would burst to the surface and I'd smile, remembering the feel of his hands on my waist, the taste of his tongue.

And like an addict I felt the need for just one more taste.

Reviews are better than...hmm..well needing just one more hit of Jacob Black...

I want to thank everyone who took time out of their lives to read and write an awesome review..you guys make my day with awesome reviews..and stupid question...how likely are you to continue reading this if it gets a little on the x-rated side? Just let me know :)