He woke up what felt like a second later. He wasn't falling anymore, but now he couldn't move. He tried to get up from where he lay uncomfortably on a sharp edged rock, but his hands were tied to the wall behind him, immobilizing him. The sharp strike of hunger hit him, his body screaming for nourishment. His stomach hurt as though he had swallowed a hundred needles, and his mouth was dry as a desert, his lips chapped and bleeding where they had split.
He couldn't move his fingers, which alarmed him beyond measure. Something damp ran down his arms and back; that he could not tell whether it was water, sweat, or blood was the worst of all things.
It was difficult to assess the extent of his bad condition due to the absolute darkness he was plunged in, and his inability to move. All he knew was that he was in dreadful shape – gone was the dulcet touch of his beloved, forgotten the quiet contentedness he felt a moment before. He recognized the place and it instilled fright in his heart, turning his blood cold in his veins. The fear of being thrown back in this horrendous place, his own personal Hel, was daunting.
Now he only wished someone would put an end to his misery.
Regardless of his obvious solitude in these dark caverns, Loki screamed out his agony, hoping against hope that someone would come and finish what Odin could not when he put him there.
Laetherea had woken up in the darkness too, though she wasn't hurt and free of movement. Lost in what seemed like an endless maze of cavernous tunnels, she conjured a torch and wild fire to light her way. The walls and ceiling were made a black edgy stone, strangely geometrical and allowing no room for her to sit or lean on. Her soft leather shoes did not offer much protection against the bumpy ground covered in rocks of various shape and size, but she ignored the stinging pain and the oozing blood and walked onwards, searching for Loki.
In her heart she knew exactly where she was, and she anticipated what she would find at the end of this road. Time didn't exist in this cave, but she vaguely estimated one hour or so had gone by by the time she heard a bloodcurdling scream echo against the walls. She cursed these treacherous tunnels going in every direction, which didn't allow her to find the source of this cry for help. It couldn't be anyone but Loki. It her haste she hurt herself, cutting open her palm when she stumbled and tried to steady herself using the wall. Still she hurried on, wasting no time.
"Loki! Loki?!" She called his name again and again until her voice gave out and her throat hurt.
How many hours passed while she wandered aimlessly through these tunnels? She had to look in every corner for she held the only source of light in this place forgotten by the gods – all but one, who was tied there.
Every now and then a long, piercing scream echoed through the cave, urging her to press the pace, making her blood run cold. Those were not screams of help, they were agonizing cries of pain, a pain so great it forced the barrier of his teeth to get out of his body. She could only imagine what torture he was being subjected to as she got deeper and deeper into this maze without any clue of where she should go.
A dawning sense of alarm made it hard to reason however irrational it was to panic now – Laetherea knew it was but a dream, a nightmare Loki was stuck in. But she had failed to rescue him once, she could not bear the though of failing him again.
Being imprisoned in a dark, silent, and timeless prison was enough to drive any man mad, but surely there was more to this caverns than the location itself. Laetherea could still see the hollow look in Loki's eyes when she found him playing with the flame of the candle. She had never seen eyes so dull in her life, so devoid of vitality and will. Deep down she knew that she couldn't fathom what he went through without seeing it with her own eyes – which is what had motivated her to dreamwalk tonight, even if it meant upsetting him.
For all of Loki's faults, he did not act as mad with fury as he did earlier without sound reasons. And if Laetherea did not find him in one piece, hell fire would rain on Asgard until they all burned.
"Loki!" She yelled, her throat burning as though she swallowed a piece of white hot iron. Soon her voice would give out entirely, but she needed to alert Loki of her presence – surely if she could hear his cries he must hear hers! "Loki! Can you hear me?!"
A stupid question. She knew he must have been in no position to answer but she didn't know what else to say.
"I'm coming for you, my love," she whispered to herself.
The empty cave carried that whisper in the tunnel she walked through but it was otherwise silent now. Whether it was an improvement was up to debate – for as long as one suffers one is alive. This thought brought her no comfort and she walked on.
Her feet were numb, she felt no more pain though she could see just how bloody and cut open their were, the sharp stones having cut through the supple leather of her shoes which offered no longer any protection.
If there was a place where hope went to die, that must be it. Her legs grew sore, tired from the effort, and Laetherea began to lose hope of ever finding him in this labyrinth, but just as she was about to cry out his name once more, regardless of how raw her throat felt, she walked into what looked like a dead end.
No more bifurcation with five different tunnels all going in separate directions, each of them looking exactly the same. She stepped inside an enormous room, a cave within the cave. Water dripped from the ceiling, each drop echoing through the room and creating a music of its own.
A grunt made her nearly drop her torch, out of surprise and relief.
"Loki!" She called his name, tears already welling in her eyes at the thought that she found him. "My love, it's me!"
She could only follow the weak grunts, and try to find the source of them in this giant dark room. Her torch did not illuminate as much as she would want it to but she did not despair and inspected each nook and corner of this natural cave, wiping away the drops of water hitting her forehead.
"Loki..." Her trembling hand flew to her mouth. Laetherea froze and stared in shock.
When the tears spilled over and blurred her vision, she was grateful. Nothing could have prepared her for the spectacle before her, nothing. Someone might have reached into her chest and squeezed her heart in their palm and it wouldn't have felt different from what she was experiencing now. The weight of her discovery crushed her.
Unbeknowst to her, she loosened her grip on the torch which hit the ground in a loud clatter. A cadaver, she was standing in front of a dead man. The sight of him made her stomach churn in a manner she recognized and Laetherea barely had the time to turn around and lean over before she was sick. Her wounded palm pressed against the cool stone, oozing blood, and sending pain signals through her body as she emptied the content of her stomach.
She forgot just how real it all felt when she walked the dreams of someone as close to her heart as Loki.
Loki who was Loki no longer. How he came back from that she had no idea, because she knew she wouldn't. Before her teary eyes was her beloved, chained to the rocky wall of sharp, polished stone digging into his back like so many knives piercing through his skin.
Because skin and bones were all that was left of him – a hollow, starved to death vessel void of life. Laetherea fell to her knees, unable to even feel the pain of the impact against the ground. The torch burned on, lighting up their close vicinity; they were otherwise surrounded by pitch black, making it look as though the maze of caves didn't even exist, as though nothing else but the corner of this room existed.
"Loki-" She articulated his name but no sound came out, it was stuck in the back of her aching throat. He did not look up. In fact he was slumped forward, head down, showing no sign of even being aware he wasn't alone anymore. Didn't he see her? Or at the very least the fire?
Once the tears died down Laetherea scanned his body, assessing what exactly he had been subjected to. There were no signs of torture though she did not conclude of his captors' innocence for this – they did not whip him or otherwise inflict injuries but by chaining him here they ensured that he would suffer, hurt himself even, wish for death surely.
She knew she would have.
"My dear one... what have they done to you?" Laetherea whispered when her examination was over.
His ribs protruded in a strange way – Loki had always been lean but never to the point of sickliness. He looked diseased, like all of his wounds had let infection in his system, gnawing away at his body from the inside out, while the sharp material of the walls attacked him from the outside.
There was no doubt that he tried to free himself. His manacles dug into his skin, stretched it, cut it open in some places. He quite obviously tried to pull his own hands off in a desperate attempt to break free for his wrist were barley attached to his arms anymore. A bloody, raw mess of flesh and piled up skin ending on bony hands whose nails had been scratched off.
But the most horrifying conclusion Laetherea came to was that something in this place attacked his skin, ate away at it like acid. His neck, shoulders and chest were covered in so many blistered there was not an inch of it that wasn't covered in yellow ooze and blood, mixed with sweat and tears no doubt.
Loki quite literally tore himself to shreds as he tried to escape from this place. There was barely anything left of the man she loved. Besides Laetherea's eyesight wasn't the only one of her senses attacked by this scene. The foul stench of death attached to Loki made it nearly impossible to breathe through her nose, and perhaps it was even worse to breathe through her mouth for the smell stuck to her tongue, she could taste the sickness on her tongue.
If she listened to her first instinct she would have reached out to pull Loki in her arms – a silly maternal instinct all women had to protect their loved ones from harm, to soothe their aches with a warm embrace. But on second thought she did not. There was not a square inch of Loki's decaying body that was left intact, and the last thing Laetherea wanted to do was hurt him further by accident.
She leaned in to have a closer look at his face who was turned down. Her heart broke upon seeing the poor state of it. His eyes were glazed, white, absent. He did not react when she walked in simply because he could not see, fire or not.
"What have they done to you?" She repeated, at loss for anything better to say.
He flinched, making Laetherea jump back in surprise, wondering what had startled him awake from his trance if he could neither see nor hear her.
Although perhaps he did hear her but dismissed her voice as a figment of his running imagination, trying to hold onto a familiar, reassuring sound of his past. That was his present now, and - as far as he was concerned - his future, too. Surely madness loomed in a corner of his mind after enduring such treatment for the Norns know how long. Laetherea wouldn't be so terribly shocked if his poisoned mind came up with treacherous illusions in an attempt to make him hold onto his last shred of sanity a while longer.
Though Laetherea knew there must be some left, otherwise Loki wouldn't have been so much like himself – yet so different – when he was returned to her.
As these thoughts crossed her mind she realized how accidentally true they were. Poison – that was it. The abrasive substance burning off his skin.
Loki stiffened suddenly and grunted something inaudible. Laetherea had to listen very carefully to make out what he said. She eventually understood that he was babbling an endless litany of 'no no nos', pleading for something.
Then she saw it – the slimy black creature moving slowly but with unrelenting determination towards Loki who seemed to be aware of the approaching danger despite his blindness. She was tempted to use the fire to chase it away but thought better of it – it might anger the creature, it could attack Loki or her to defend itself, therefore she grabbed the torch and threw it aside.
It wasn't easy making out what it was for Laetherea could barley see the tip of her nose in this darkness now that she had tossed the torch away and it was slowly extinguishing. But she knew it was a rampant creature, black as night, a perfect camouflage in this pit black cave. Finally her eyes adjusted to this darkness, and the creature's gleaming skin and low hissing betrayed its nature at long last.
A serpent – a big, powerful snake, longer than she could see in the dark. It began its ascent of Loki's body, looping around him, crawling up his leg, around his torso, and towards his head. It spit venom like an angry cat every time Loki took too deep a breath – however painful those seemed to be for him already.
The presence of this beast appeared to trigger a sudden moment of lucidity, and Loki became aware of his surroundings – he lifted his head, his blind eyes staring right at Laetherea though he could not know she was right there, holding in her breath.
Then he said her name.
It was faint, a whisper at best though he articulated it quite clearly. He said it a second time, louder, there was no longer any trace of pain in his voice, it was the normal voice Laetherea was so attuned to. But before she could mull it over she was pulled back into the darkness, away from Loki, her feet not even touching the ground.
It felt as though an invisible rope was tied around her middle, a force she could not fight was taking her away from her love, and she screamed her lungs out, calling for him, while Loki was subjected to this black serpent's torture. At last he disappeared from her vision, and Laetherea hit the far end of the cave's wall – the blow sucked the air out of her lungs and she passed out on the spot.
Loki woke up screaming – or perhaps he wasn't the one screaming? It was hard to tell. In any case it was loud enough to alarm all servants in this wing of the palace. Loki cast a quick silencing spell before jumping off the bed, awake and alert. Laetherea's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets when he saw her, lying on her side of the bed, mouth open. She was screaming one second, and completely silent the next – Loki didn't know which he liked best.
He had cast her out. It was highly dangerous to forcefully expel a dreamwalker from a dream, they could stay stuck between the oneiric world and reality. It was a stupid reflex to protect himself. The moment Loki realized what she was doing he freaked out and pushed her out of his dream – his nightmare.
"Laetherea!" He called her name, running around the bed to join her on her side. "My love, wake up!"
She wasn't answering, she wasn't even properly awake. Panic rose in his chest when Laetherea's hair began to turn a pure shade of white that made her look dead already. Yet her eyes were wide open, even if they were glazed over and stared into nothingness. Loki grabbed her by the shouldered and began to shake her in a desperate attempt to bring her back to the world of the living but it didn't have any visible effect.
Under his panic-struck eyes Laetherea started to convulse, her back arching and rolling uncontrollably on the bed. With trembling but firm hands, Loki tried to still her while he thought about what to do, about a solution.
He had messed this up. He put her in danger, she could not die like this!
He knew what to do, he had to. He studied dreamwalking with Laetherea, they never attempted complex magic on their own, without any kind of assurance that if they made a grave mistake the other would be there to retrieve them. This was the kind of situation they prepared for.
"Laetherea hang on, I'm thinking, I'm thinking..." He told her, forcing himself to believe she heard him. Loki closed his eyes in concentration. "I just need a bit more time, don't give up yet."
And it came back to him, clear as water. He could see the brownish old volume as if it were in his lap, the words etched on the ancient paper, almost erased by time; he could picture the exact lines about the anima of the dreamwalker being unable to return to its earthly body.
"A tether, you need a tether," Loki spoke to himself as if he were giving instructions to someone. This had to work, it had to.
Laetherea's eyes started to roll back right then, her body becoming still and taking the appearance of death. It might not be a good sign but at least if gave Loki freedom of movement to cast the spell.
"Hold on, my love. I'm not going to let you go this easily," he ordered her, hoping against hope that she heard and listened.
There was no more time to waste, or to think this through. Loki didn't think long and hard about what to use as her anchor to this world and worked with what he had.
The spell itself wasn't difficult to cast, and it was similar to a commonly used spell in Asgard, though it required more precision and ran deeper – it reached right into the soul of the dreamwalker to pull it out of the limbo it was floating in.
Then again Laetherea was the dreamwalker, the expert. She was far more knowledgeable on the subject than he was, despite his studying this art alongside her to help her perfect it. He had never tried it himself, everything he knew was but mere theory; he gravely lacked personal experience. Right now he wished his knowledge of the art of dreamwalking was a bit more thorough, and he hoped his limited one would be enough to save her.
He cast the spell as quickly as he could manage without being sloppy. He conjured strengthening runes, grounding runes, and produced Laetherea's dagger. He opened his palm and slashed the blade across it in a deft movement. The words he muttered were ancient and forgotten by all and every soul in Asgard but for those who practiced magic, even he had but a faint grasp of their true meaning. In less time than needed to say 'spell' it was done.
The wait was the worst part. However short it was in reality, time seemed to stretch to no end for Loki. In fact it felt long enough for Loki to question his decision and doubt his memory – had he cast the wrong spell? Had he pushed her to her grave unknowingly? Was it a mistake to use himself as a tether to anchor Laetherea's anima to the physical world? That would be his downfall, after all that he had endured he could not lose her too. Everything but not her.
With a labored intake of air Laetherea shot up, suddenly sitting upright and gasping for air, coughing and heaving like she had been underwater for too long a period.
"Rea!" Loki exclaimed, his relief visible on his features as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "My! It worked, it worked..." He trailed off, a mirthful yet disbelieving smile on his face.
If he listened to himself he would have cradled her in his arms, but she was still clearly having difficulty breathing properly. But as soon as she calmed down and her coughing fit passed, Loki took her in his arms. He was still kneeling next to the bed while he held her to him, supporting the weight of her – spent, having used all her energy during this nocturnal exercise.
"Loki," she called his name in a breathy whisper, still slightly out of breath after this trying experience. "Loki..."
Her hand grasped his shirt though her grip was rather weak, and before Loki could do anything, she was asleep again. Laetherea's head bobbed to the left to rest on Loki's shoulder, and her eyes fluttered close.
For a while Loki did not dare to move and simply rocked her a bit, letting her have her rest while allowing himself to stay like this one moment longer. He had to hold her to make sure she was alright – as long as he didn't let go nothing bad could happen to his love.
And so, he started humming a sweet, melancholy tune to lull them both.
000
It was hours after daybreak, and something was amiss. Laetherea felt better – though she had little memory left of last night, she still knew Loki had pushed her out of his dream. After that it was complete blackout, but Laetherea didn't need to remember to know what happened, she knew the consequences of dreamwalking going wrong.
Had she been in any state to think or act last night, she would have worried for her fate. Had Loki paid enough attention when they studied together? Did he remember how to bring back a dream walker from the in-between world? But he clearly did, and however relieved Laetherea was, she also wondered what he used to tether her to this realm.
A part of her had also wondered if he really wanted to bring her back – his behavior showed nothing of the sort. Laetherea's hand grazed over her stomach, where Loki's hand rested last night when she fell asleep. There must be some forgiveness left in him, there must be hope.
Lost as she was in her thoughts, Laetherea barely opened her mouth this morning. She brought the familiar old volumes from the library to go over the dreamwalking chapters again, making sure there was no other way to save her than to tether her. But her memory served her right and it was the only option Loki had had last night. She wanted to ask him, but her mouth was dry at the mere thought.
Loki had been sitting on the bed a few meters away from her all morning, in brooding silence, studying something through the open windows with a severe frown on his face. The quiet was unsettling, it made Laetherea's stomach churn. Was he mulling over her near death experience? Regretting his saving her? Was he angry because she stepped into his dreams without his permission?
Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. He would never have allowed it if she had asked, that much she knew. So what was the point in doing so? He would have been on his guard after that, and there was no way she could have found a way in.
Still, he must be furious. What she saw was horrifying, and she couldn't even remember it all – it was a blur. However the feeling of dread and terror still lingered, and a flash of cold ran down her spine whenever she tried to invoke a mental picture of that giant slithering creature spitting venom on Loki.
Her silence must have been suspicious after all the talking she did upon Loki's return. She had been rather vehement, but since then a lot happened in little time. Her heart soared and constricted at the same time when she thought about Loki, about how much she loved him, and how she resented the way he treated her without giving her a chance to tell her side of the story.
"What is it?" Loki eventually snapped, having grown tired of Laetherea's quiet disapproval. "Yesterday you were so adamant on defending your cause, speaking to me of suffering from our separation as much as I did, and now you retreat into silence."
She remained quiet and averted her gaze. Maybe it was her way of punishing him, maybe she was too petty to give in to Loki after the way he spoke to her. It was childish behavior but he wasn't doing much better himself.
But there was something else too. She had seen too much, she had delved into Loki's deepest thoughts, most private dreams, and now she felt she had no longer any right to complain about her captivity in this luxurious room. She had seen everything, everything Loki wanted to keep to himself. Could she still plead her own case after witnessing his agony? Whatever misfortune befell on her was nothing compared to his ordeal. Then why did her heart still ache at the memory of these past months? She wanted to tell him what she went through, yet how could she possibly complain about what happened to her, about her own torments when his were so much greater?
Too many unspoken truths sat between them though, and Laetherea would not tolerate that. If Loki was finally ready to hear it, she was going to tell him everything, however painful it would be to relive these moments.
"Was it all a lie?" Loki insisted upon receiving no verbal answer.
Laetherea's head jerked up and she stared in offense.
"Don't be insulting. I have never lied to you and will never start." She kept her voice even, despite feeling great affront at his accusation.
"Then explain yourself!" Loki demanded, losing his patience.
It was a kind of torture of its own to have to watch his tongue and pick his words around Laetherea. It was as if they had become strangers in the span of those few months - in Asgard anyway - and now needed to relearn how to communicate.
"Laetherea tell me! What is going through your mind, I can see there is something."
A shadow, something haunting danced behind her eyes. He wanted to know. Yesterday he wouldn't hear her out and now he demanded she tell him. She stood up and sat next to him on the bed.
"Your chambers used to be the place where I could be myself, where I was free..." Laetherea's fingers trailed along Loki's jaw. His gaze was trained on her as if the contact pained him – there was conflict in his eyes. Her hand dropped. "And so after taking you away, they also deprived me of my most prized possession – my freedom. This place became my cage. I was a bird whose wings had been clipped off, forever trapped behind gilded bars, living a life a pretend-freedom. Each new day I was brought delicacies, lavish dresses, and books for my enjoyment – when the only thing I truly wanted was to get out and find you."
She expected her little speech to have a different impact than the one it did. Loki turned away from her, breaking all contact with Laetherea – he couldn't reason properly when she touched him, or even when she looked at him.
"Then why didn't you?!" He barked with more harshness in his voice than he had intended to. Try as he might, he could not mask the pain in his voice behind anger. Laetherea, ever so graceful and understanding of his moods, did not even flinch. "How can you look me straight in the eyes and tell me about how miserable you were staying in my royal chambers while I suffered terrible pain with no perspective of liberation?"
Laetherea grabbed Loki's arm and yanked him back, forcing him to meet her eyes whether he wanted it or not. She had spent enough time without him, now wasn't the time to look away.
"And how can you say this to me?" She asked in a croaky voice, hurt taking precedence over anger. "Surely you must remember the day they burst through those doors and stole you from my arms, how I tried to fight them off!"
"Yes, I remember it clearly!" He shouted back. "Yet you tell me that you spent your days eating, playing dress up, and reading poetry!"
"I don't permit you to speak to me like that! I have not spent a single day in peace of mind since you disappeared! I fought teeth and claws, I never stopped trying to escape, to be heard, to free you!"
"Unsuccessfully it seems," Loki said between his teeth, not convinced by her pleading tone.
"Do you have no heart?"
Her hand flew up to grab Loki's face, cupping his cheek and bringing him close enough to rest her forehead against him. Even in his state of anguish, Loki could not pull away from her gentle touch – the familiar, oh so welcome touch of his lover, his Laetherea. While his mind did its best to think straight and distance itself from any emotional preoccupations, his very being was pulled towards her, like a magnet.
"It is broken," he managed to say, however dry his mouth felt. Without any rush, Loki took Laetherea's wrist in his hands to withdraw her own from his face. Immediately, he felt cold.
"Then let me help you repair it, by the Norns Loki! I fought for you, all the time, always, and I won't ever stop, do you hear me?"
For all the force and desperation she poured into her words, they did no appear to convince Loki. Deep down she understood why – he had never been one to take one's word at face's value. Without proof she might as well be shouting at the void.
"The first few days I was allowed to go out, nobody expected your mistress to throw much of a fit – after all they didn't strip me of any of my privileges, right? What else can a whore possibly want? Let's give Laetherea puff pastries, entire chests of clothes, and entertainment to keep her occupied! That's what I read on their faces when I stepped out the next morning, when the guards finally opened the doors to let me out when I had stopped screaming my lungs out."
His eyes were not looking at hers though her gaze never wavered and remained focused on Loki. He stared down, closing his eyes every now and then as if he had a hard time imagining what she was telling him. At least he listened to her.
"I marched straight to the throne room, demanding to see Odin at once!" She resumed, tears welling in her eyes out of anger. "He dismissed me. So I came once more the next day, and the next, but he kept dismissing me. He was busy, he had more pressing matters to tend to, and no time to access to my request of an audience. I searched the palace from top to bottom, I questioned everyone who deigned speak to me, I sneaked passed the guards to see if you had been imprisoned in one of those cells!"
There was nothing but venom and fire in her words. The memory of those dreadful days she spent in anxiety and ignorance, sneaking about the palace, and interrogating anyone who crossed her path still stung. Loki did not interrupt for he felt she needed to let out the anger she had bottled up all these months.
"I felt people were laughing at me for trying so hard and so desperately to find you. The stupid wench lost without her prince, the poor little helpless thing wandering the halls like a duckling who had lost its mother! I could feel their pitiful stares on my back wherever I went! I tried to go to your mother but she remained unseen for a long while after your disappearance, locked in her chambers and grieving her second son. I truly had no allies."
"That makes two of us then," Loki spoke, if only to give her a rest.
She was heaving, her chest rising and falling quickly as her anger grew. Flames danced in her eyes though she seemed to remain sufficiently in check with her emotions to keep her hair its natural color and no set fire on the bed linens with her mere touch.
"Odin agreed to see me at long last – it had been a fortnight only but it was a lifetime in my mind. Except I never got to ask him my questions, for he merely wanted to reprimand me for my behavior, and ordered me to cease my investigation."
"And you did not obey," Loki then sighed.
As much as he had been torn and heartbroken in his prison, wondering why his love wasn't coming to free him, he knew for a fact that she was not one to give up easily, if ever. Laetherea did not need to confirm that she defied the Allfather, he knew. She gulped down.
"He did not take it well. But after this audience I was out of my mind, and I snapped. I should have gone about it more carefully but at the time I was too furious to take the consequences of my actions into account. I lost control."
Loki opened his mouth to say something but the look in her eyes dissuaded him. A glimmer of regret, perhaps? Or shame? It was gone before he could ponder on it.
"I figured if the gentle way did do, I'd have to go with the harsh way. I killed the guards at our door as soon as I realized my comings and goings where regulated, and I went about the palace destroying everything in my wake, screaming bloody murder! Truthfully it's a blur in my mind. I remember calling your name, shouting at whoever listened that you were wronged, and deserved a fair trial if nothing else. Then, the guards came and all I remember is waking up in our bed."
"At least he didn't chain you up in a cell for you to rot there," Loki put in.
Despite his best judgment he still tried to win this argument and show that he had it worse, even though there was no longer any point in comparing their fates. Laetherea hadn't betrayed him like he managed to persuad himself to believe, and he should have know better. He should apologize, but instead he found himself in the position of forgiving her. What was her crime other than loving him and fighting for him? Not succeeding?
"Oh but he did. I realized it soon enough. There was a tray of food next to the bed, it was as if I had dreamed it all – surely you must have been in the bathroom and the servants had brought out breakfast like usual, right? But something felt amiss, and I went for the door yet again. Except this time I couldn't open it."
"Locked?" Loki asked, knowing full well that a locked door didn't stand a chance against Laetherea. If she wanted through she would go through.
"Warded," she told him, her mouth feeling dry.
Loki's face darkened. It was a well known fact that Laetherea's ward magic was the most powerful one in the realm – and of all realms to their knowledge. Odin himself had required her services in this matter a great many times when he realized her potential.
"Surely that did not sto-"
"It made me laugh to be honest, I thought your father was getting senile if he so soon forgot that I could dismantle any ward presented to me and build one ten times stronger if I wanted to. But it wasn't the only surprise he had in store for me."
For all the knowledge and power Laetherea possessed in the matter of wards and dreamwalking, these were complex arts she practiced, they required a certain amount of magic and energy. And that fateful day when she smirked to herself, thinking of how much of an old fool Odin was becoming, she understood how gravely she was mistaken. The moment she summoned her magic to start taking down the ward layer by layer, she fell heavily on the ground. Her knees hit the marble floor and cracked under the impact as a searing burn tore a chilling scream out of her throat. Laetherea's wrist hurt in a way that she never could have imagined. Her golden cuffs had suddenly become two hands of melted gold scorching her skin, burning her to the muscle, melting her tissues like butter in the sun.
No matter how loud her screams nobody came to her help and she was left to curl up on the ground. By the time the sensation of burning stopped she had no longer any voice, her throat hurt, and her cheeks were smeared with tears. For a long while she did not dare move – she was in shock.
"Runes," Loki interrupted her story telling once more, now cradling her face in his hands to wipe away the treacherous tears that escaped. "To block your magic."
"Not block it," she said with certain difficulty. "To restrict it."
When she eventually came to her senses and understood what had happened, Laetherea stood up, all trembling limbs and fearful eyes. Her first instinct was to get rid of the golden cuffs but she found she could not take them off – they were a gift from Loki, something she rarely ever took off, and to know that Odin had used them against her, perverted them... it made her sick. And sick she was, from the pain and from the shock. Laetherea emptied the content of her stomach and proceeded to crawl into bed to try and forget what just happened.
But soon enough she recovered from the attack on her person, and searched for a way out. The balcony was her first option.
"It could not have been that easy," Loki said, earning a mirthless smile.
"No it was not. This time it was the cuffs on my ankles. I spent hours on the floor after that, but in the end I understood that if I tried to leave your chambers I would be knocked off my feet, and if I tried to use magic I would lose my hands."
"Surely this pain was only in your head – I know how powerful runes can be but to physically harm yo-"
To answer this, Laetherea deemed words useless and simply removed the cuffs to show Loki the scars left by her own imprisonment. Pink, bumpy flesh normally entirely hidden by her jewelery was now revealed, and Loki closed his mouth. He felt compelled to break something, the overwhelming urge to kill something came over him as he looked at Laetherea's mutilated wrists, knowing that it was the same for her ankles.
"I hadn't realized either until yesterday morning when I was told you'd come back. I was so eager to take these off-" she made to put her cuffs back on. "-but now I can no longer afford not to wear them."
Before she could close them Loki stopped her, placing his hand over hers. When Laetherea looked up, her eyes giving away how exhausted their argument had made her, Loki leaned in and kissed her brow as he fiddled to take the cuffs off again.
"You needn't wear these here, my love." It caused a sob to come out of her mouth, and she put her hand over her mouth. "You needn't hide anything from me."
It took a moment for Laetherea to regain her voice and resume her story though there was almost no point in it now – Loki understood now.
"As the days passed I grew restless. I hadn't talked to anyone in weeks, not even servants! I was afraid of being struck with pain again, but nothing scared me more than the thought of never seeing you again, so I tried to find loopholes in the wards and runes. I tried to dreamwalk one day, when I had grown sufficiently desperate to attempt such dangerous magic without knowing if I'd even survive it to try something else. There is no telling what could go wrong in normal circumstances and those were anything but. To my utmost surprise it worked, but I could not reach you. I tried again and again, I tried this countless times! Until finally I considered the worst case scenarios. I came to the conclusion that you were either dead or in a far away realm I could not reach."
"You walked my dreams during my time in Midgard," Loki pointed out. "But it's a nearby realm, receptive to our kind of magic."
Yes, it is. But what amazed her the most was that Laetherea had managed to use a semblance of magic without being burnt. Therefore she concluded that the runes cast on her were not meant to completely deprive her of her powers, but merely to restrict them. Odin would not have a gifted sorceress such as Laetherea wander around the realms, causing mayhem and disputes in her search of her lover.
She tried to use magic again, small things at first. Lighting a candle, filling a cup. And it worked, so she upped it a notch to test the limits of the runes and to know exactly how much power she could summon. Without surprises, she stepped over the line many times - but at least she was doing something. Her mind yearned for something to happen, anything!
"Pain was welcome in my last days of solitude. But then my isolation came to an end," she said, her shoulders falling as though it had taken her a lot of energy to tell this tale.
Laetherea could read the question on Loki's face: Who put an end to her torment?
"One day I woke up and the usual tray overflowing with fruits, tea, and freshly baked bread was not in its usual place. Instead I found Frigga sitting at the table with the food displayed on it, looking lost in her thoughts. She was not looking at me, but she seemed to sense that I had woken up because she said something. She told me 'Oh dear Rea, I miss him too.'"
Right then Laetherea's voice broke and she once again covered her mouth with her hand to muffle the sobs that came out of her mouth instead of the carefully chosen words. It had been a long and hard time for both Loki and her, there was no denying that, and certainly no comparing it.
"I apologize, my love. I could not imagine they would treat you in such a barbaric way," Loki tried to sooth Laetherea, reaching out for her and letting her lean against him.
He removed her hands, not bearing to live another second without seeing her beautiful face. She seemed to pull herself together and resolutely wiped the tears away.
"You must forgive me for my thoughtless words," he said – a pathetic apology for sure, but it brought light back in her eyes. "My suffering does not cancel yours, Rea," Loki said in a steady and low voice. "My body has endured pain I could not even fathom, but I took every breath believing you were safe and able to defend yourself, to protect yourself. You did not have such certainty about me."
"I did not!" She then exclaimed, dropping her mask of aloofness and indifference. She stood up briskly. "I looked everywhere for you! I search every corner of the palace, lifted every stone, pushed open every door! I was ready to turn the whole of Asgard upside down to retrieve you, but-" She stopped there, feeling her throat constrict uncomfortably. "If I had had the slightest idea what they did to you, I would have set the world on fire."
Her voice has become dangerously low; in Loki's mind there was no doubt she meant every word of it and would have carried out her threat. Laetherea closed her fist on the wrinkled material of her robe and her hair turned a slight shade of dark red before she breathed in and calmed down.
"Peace, Rea," Loki said, extending his hand to her.
She looked at it for a few seconds and then placed her hand in his. He stood up and guided her to the balcony. It was too beautiful a day for such gloomy conversations, and so Loki resolved to start anew. Laetherea's hand let go of him, but his disappointment was of short duration for she immediately slipped it behind his back to close the space between them. Her hip bumped into him, and Loki wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, and kissed her head.
"We have much healing and catching up to do, but I think we are going to be fine from now on," Loki thought out loud, earning a nod in return.
Laetherea looked up, determination shining in her big eyes like two stars.
"Loki, I know I have only seen a glimpse of what you really lived through," she started, squeezing her eyes shut at the sheer thought, then opening them again. She needed to look into Loki's eyes to say what she wanted to say, she needed Loki to know she meant it. "You needn't carry the weight of this new burden on your own. You've been under so much pressure all your life, you've had more responsibility sitting on your shoulders as a child than most adults ever have, and I will not let you be crushed under all of it."
"My love..." Loki began softly, pinching his lips.
"Don't," she cut him off, raising a hand to silence him. "Listen to me. Lean on me. Trust me. Talk to me. I'm not just your mistress Loki, I'm your Laetherea."
It brought a smile on his face, relaxing all his features. He still looked like he had a foot in the grave – bony cheeks, dark circles under his tired eyes, tangled hair, slightly trembling fingers – but he was hopeful, and it changed everything. Then he laughed a little.
"What's so funny?" Laetherea asked, already smiling in return.
"You have no idea how much what you said was right," he simply told her, leaving her confused with that enigmatic answer. But he didn't give her the time to ponder on it. "I hear you, my love. But for now I must regain my strength, and holding you in my arms is already more than enough. It's all I could think about in this dark cave, all I longed for." He ran a hand through her long hair, a shiver of pleasure coursing down his spine. This was a sensation he would never get to experience again. "I will tell you one day."
Laetherea took his hand and placed a kiss in his open palm.
"I will hold you to this!" She replied.
Content, and happy beyond words that Loki and her finally reached a place of understanding, Laetherea reached for his neck and pulled him in for a long await kiss. The kind that they delayed for too long already.
"At last."
000
A fortnight or so went by before Loki and Laetherea even left their rooms. One might find it strange that after such a long imprisonment – Loki in his cave and Laetherea between these very walls – they didn't yearn for vast, open spaces. While it was true that they longed for freedom of opinion and movement, Loki and Rea's need to be with each other prevailed. At least for the time being.
They handled each other roughly and without care the day they reunited, but now came the time of healing. The time to touch each other with the tip of their fingers, and the palm of their hands, the swell of their lips, and the tip of their tongue – brushing, grazing, stroking, caressing where they previously clawed, gripped, and scratched.
The same routine as during Laetherea's captivity settled in – servants would leave a tray of food in the bedroom, and no one came to disturb them. Outside these four walls, people began to question Loki's return. He hadn't been seen when Thor returned that day in the great hall, and no one had heard of him since. The only time he left Laetherea was when he paid a visit to his mother.
Odin be damned, Loki had nothing to say to him. He wasn't his real father, he wasn't his king. His tormentor, maybe. His keeper, perhaps. Only Frigga tied him to the palace, and Thor was difficult to hate too, though Loki couldn't be blamed for not trying.
If only he wasn't so vain as to cherish his life of riches, and so attached to the woman who raised him Loki would have snagged Laetherea and taken her to some place else. Where no one knew who they were.
But perhaps things weren't as bad as he thought they were. After two weeks spent rediscovering each other under every aspect, Loki looked at his love with fresh eyes. Rea glowed with mirth and it affected him too. She laughed when they bathed, laughed when they talked, laughed when they made love. And Loki found he had missed the sound of it, and the feeling of laughing with her.
She didn't mention that she cast a ward on the doors so that nobody outside could hear them or disturb them, other than the people bringing them food. She figured he needed the peace and quiet, the time to recover, and be himself. Yet there comes a time when all good things end.
"We need to go out Loki," Laetherea told him, and Loki's hand stopped its exploring of her curves. "Do things, show ourselves so people know we haven't killed each other."
There wasn't much conviction in her voice, but her words rang true.
"Said who exactly? I answer to one person only," Loki scoffed, clearly not appreciative of the fact that Rea thought about running errands when there was nothing but the sheets between them.
"I said it. And whom do you answer to, Loki?" She raised an eyebrow.
"To you." He sighed, sensing his defeat.
"Perfect," she chirped in answer. "Because I wanna go to the library."
Loki rested his arm on his bent knee and rolled his eyes when Rea stood up. His eyes where fixated on her when the sheet slid down her body and she walked to her chest.
"Wait, I have something for you," he told her.
It tickled Laetherea's curiosity. She put on her robe and followed Loki to the other side of the room where sat another chest, much bigger and more richly decorated. It was a piece of art in itself, but then Loki opened it and pulled out a magnificent dress which put the chest to shame. Laetherea's breath caught in her throat and her hand reached out to touch it.
The material shone in the sun, and the dress was heavy with shimmering pearls sewn in a floral pattern on it. It was a very pale shade of green, almost white if one didn't look carefully enough.
"What do you think?" Loki inquired when Laetherea remained silent for so long.
"I can't wear this," she blurted out, finally managing to detach her eyes from the work of art that was this dress to look at Loki. His smile fell.
"You don't like it? I can have another one made if-"
"If I don't like it?!" Laetherea repeated, stunned. "It's perfect Loki, I love it, but I can't wear this dress. Just look at it! This is made for royalty..."
Her voice lowered at the end of her sentence as her eyes focused on the garment again, and her fingers lingered over a particularly complex bit of beading.
"Nonsense, it was made for you and no one else. If you don't wear it I will burn it myself rather than see it on someone else."
Laetherea gave him a scolding glare and squinted her eyes at him for basically blackmailing her into wearing this sumptuous dress, but she still took it from his hands. The self-satisfied smirk on Loki's face very nearly earned him a hex, but she stayed put and went off to change behind the folding screen.
"I still do not understand why you insist on hiding behind this thing every time you undress, there's really nothing I haven't seen yet," Loki said conversationally.
Laetherea's head rose above the screen and she huffed but did not answer. She quietly put on the dress, then walked out from behind the screen. Loki's smile slowly disappeared, replaced by an expression of awe and adoration.
"For dramatic effect, obviously," Laetherea said, one elbow resting on the screen as she took in her lover's stunned expression. "I learned from the best after all."
"Well, consider yourself a master of the art," Loki gulped down. He stood up and joined Rea, taking her hand to bring her in front of the large mirror. "See? Made for you." His hands rested on her waist and slid down to her hips.
It really was a treasure. She couldn't imagine how long it must have taken to sew all these pearls into the silky fabric, or how many people it required. There was a slit down her left leg to accommodate her movements, and the sleeves were made of the softest, lightest material she had ever touched and the beads' pattern extended there too, making it look like flowers were growing on her skin.
"Thank you, Loki," Laetherea said at last, turning around to meet his eyes.
Her hand brushed against the side of his face, making him close his eyes and sigh very gently. She swore he leaned against her hand.
"I needed something grand to make you forgive me my unacceptable behavior the day I returned." He paused, and Laetherea's smile dropped when she felt him stiffen against her. She knew he was about to say something serious. "I don't deserve you. I know it-" he added before she could interrupt him to argue. "But I'm working on changing that."
"My place is not on the pedestal you put me, Loki. I have done terrible things too, I've killed, lied, cheated, manipulated, committed theft, treason even..." She held his hands in hers and kissed them. "When our time comes, we'll meet again in Helheim, rest assured."
"Oh I'm counting on it," he replied, his playful mood back. "Now I recall you meant to go to the library? You should go before I decide to take this dress off again."
"Will you join me later?"
"Right after I talk to mother," he promised.
Before either of them changed their mind and decided one more day between the sheets wouldn't hurt, they parted ways. When the heavy doors opened up before Laetherea and she walked out standing tall and mighty, Loki felt a tinge of pride. They came a long way to get there. Without losing a second, he got dressed and left his chambers too – they felt empty without Rea anyway.
On her way to the library Laetherea met a lot of people, which she wasn't too delighted about, but she continued her way without paying them any mind. People usually wouldn't wander off so far away from the great hall or the wing they stayed in for those who lived at the palace. This wing was for Loki's chambers mainly, and one wide corridor led to the gigantic royal library, with several rooms each side of the hall leading to the big double doors. Mostly empty chambers for guests, but there was also one music room, and between the third and fourth door on the right, there was a hidden door that revealed a secret stairway leading to the stables.
Loki and her knew the palace's secrets like the back of their hands – it had been the only way to see each other for a long time. Odin hadn't always been supportive of their relationship, at least not until his younger son fell in disgrace. That's about when he began to let them live their romance, as long as they kept it behind closed doors. The architect who built this place was no longer around, so it was a safe guess to say that they were the only ones left who knew about the secret passages.
The women she met on the way didn't try to hide their stares or whispering. In fact Laetherea thought they were more obvious than usual, which only added to her annoyance. What was so remarkable about her that all women felt the urge – no the need – to gossip about her the moment she stepped inside a room? Surely there was nothing extraordinary about going to the library, though she had to admit she rarely saw anyone there, other than the archivist.
She chased them from her mind and closed the remaining distance between her and her safe haven. She simply congratulated herself for choosing soft-leather shoes that made no sound because attracting more unwanted attention really was the last thing she wished for.
She had a suspicious feeling about something. Loki has been eluding her questions with his usual deftness, and she fell for it every time. Whenever she asked a question he didn't want to answer he managed to masterfully change the subject while making her think it was her idea to talk about something else. Loki and his silver tongue be damned, she loved him but she was going to cast light on the question that troubled her.
How in the world did he bring her back? After some research she came to the conclusion that he had to anchor her to this world to bring her anima back from the in-between. That much she knew, she studied long and hard the art of dreamwalking and she remembered what she had to do if something bad happened. Except of course that she couldn't do anything if she was the one who had been cast out of a dreamwalk.
Now Loki knew the basics, how else would he have been able to save her? But he didn't know as much as she did, and in the rush and panic of the situation he might have used the first thing that came to mind – or the first thing he could put his hands on – to use as a tether.
Was it mere luck that it worked? Or did he actually know more than she first believed? If the object used as a tether had no existing emotional bond with the dreamwalker then it wouldn't work. She couldn't think of anything she owned that would be irreplaceable to her. Since birth Laetherea owned nothing, not even her own life. First a slave, then a paid servant, and now a mistress – never in her life had she owned goods or property. Sure Loki showered her with lavish gifts, but she held none of them as dear as she did his affections.
Object were just objects in the end. Perhaps her serpent dagger could have worked? Or the first book he gave her? There was another option of course, but Laetherea barely considered it, it was crazy. Even Loki had boundaries – but just how far was he ready to go if her life was on the line?
While the mere thought was bewildering, Laetherea also had to take into account the fact that he might be ignorant of the repercussions. Using another living person as a tether was highly dangerous for a number of reasons. The first one being that unlike an object, the emotional bond had to go both way. Laetherea's dagger didn't need to love her back, but when using someone rather than something as a tether, one needed to be absolutely certain that both people involved had strong feelings for each other.
It lit a warm fire inside Rea's chest. If Loki really did do what she suspected – however idiotic it was – it was the first tangible proof of their love she ever got. An undeniable proof.
But the other effect of such a spell was a lasting and unbreakable bind between two people – and while it was a great show of love to do that for someone, it was equally dangerous. Instances of dreamwalkers being pulled out of the in-between thanks to a link to a living tether were so rare that it was hard to determine to what extent they were linked. Perhaps it was merely a matter of giving the dreamwalker a reason to fight their way back, a direction to follow to come back. Or perhaps their lives were now intrinsically entwined.
In which case they had no way of knowing what was to happen. From now on they might share a bond deeper than they wished for. What if the harm done to one of them had direct repercussions on the other one? What if one of them died? What if Loki died? Would Laetherea be dragged back into the dark conscious-less abyss she was thrown into after being cast out of his dreams?
Rea closed the heavy volume before her and swallowed hard. Her throat felt tight. There was too many unanswered questions which she had no idea how to deal with. She had a strong feeling they would have to find out what the consequences of their actions were by themselves – and maybe write about it so future generations of dreamwalkers would know better.
But she was putting the cart before the horse: first she needed to ask Loki if he really did use himself as tether. She could always worry about undesirable side effects later. Queen Frigga in her wisdom might have an answer, or at least a semblance of a solution to offer them. In any case Laetherea was done reading old books she knew by heart anyway, and she decided to head to the Queen's quarters.
The sun has traveled up a fair bit since she arrived here but there was still no sign of Loki so he must still be with his mother. All the better.
Ever so thoughtful, Laetherea gently gathered the books sprawled on her desk and walked through the familiar aisles to put them back on their shelves, making all traces of her visit disappear. She was carrying the last and heaviest book on her hip when she realized something. She quickly put it back where it belonged, then made one last stop in another aisle before going to see her beloved. She grabbed a thick leather book, not expecting it to be so heavy. In her haste she knelt down and put it on the ground, flipping through the pages until she found what she was looking for. When her eyes settled on the paragraph she has been looking for, Laetherea fell back, her hands grabbing the nearest shelf to steady herself.
Her head was spinning.
She needed to see Loki right now.
000
The silence reigning in the hallway was nothing short of eerie. Laetherea immediately stopped in her tracks, wondering what was happening and if she too should be respectfully stepping out of the way and lowering her head, as did all the ladies still lingering in this part of the palace.
Had the atmosphere been lighter she might have become upset over the swelling number of women wandering in this corridor, as if they didn't have anything better to do that to spy on the fallen prince and his whore. Truly, what had the Asgardian society come to? Laetherea might be of low birth but she never behaved so lowly.
Then she saw the source of everybody's quiet awe and her annoyance disappeared. Loki. He couldn't see her as he was walking the other way, but Rea noticed he had dressed up, looking every bit the member of royalty he was. His cape swayed behind him, swelling with the wind provided by his momentum. There were a sort of crushing aura around him, that made the people he walked past feel smaller, making them all feel that he held the authority.
Every day since he came back their breakfast was accompanied by one of Idun's golden apples but he made a point of only taking a bit, lest the people of Asgard be inclined to forget the All-father's cruelty towards the one he called his son when they finally saw him again. While there were lingering traces of his endeavors, Loki looked well and alive – if but a tired and weary.
"Loki!" Laetherea called after him.
He froze right away, and turned around with hopeful eyes, smiling as soon as he saw her standing there in the dress he gifted her with. She truly was a sight to behold, especially amongst all the ladies that seemed to have gathered in this unlikely part of the royal palace.
He waited for her to catch up and Laetherea ran up to him, holding up her dress so she wouldn't step on the hem.
"My love," Loki greeted her gently, reaching out to cradle her face and kiss her delicately. It was torture to stay proper in front of an attentive crowd when all he wanted to do was to whisk her away and kiss her senseless. "What is the matter?"
Her trouble must have shown on her face. He might look handsome and regal but Laetherea did not forget why she sought him out in the first place instead of waiting for him to join her in the library like they agreed. The piercing stares of the people peering at them held her back from showering Loki in questions though.
"I must speak with you," she told him calmly, in a low voice. "In private."
A look of surprise crossed his eyes, then a tender smile stretched his lips. The look of understanding he gave her made her heart jump like never before. She had a strong feeling this was as good an avowal as any speech. Could he truly know what was on her mind? Were her suspicions justified?
"Tell me I'm wrong," she then said, her eyes pleading him.
This could not be. She hadn't allowed herself to ever hope such a day would come. Loki wasn't allowed to rob her of this moment the way she thought he did. Didn't he know her well enough to be aware of that? Because if it was true it meant that she had had no choice in the matter. Was Loki scared she might go against his wish? Was it truly what he wanted or a mere necessity to bring her back? Was it an unfortunate side effect he didn't know of before attempting the spell that brought her back? So many questions swirled in her brain they made her dizzy.
Loki, sensing her light-headedness, gently grabbed Laetherea's hand and placed it in the crook of his elbow to provide her with some balance as they kept on walking slowly down the hallway. All eyes were set on them though they barely noticed them.
"My love?" He repeated, questioningly this time.
"Do not play this game with me, Loki," Laetherea told him in a whisper so no one else would hear.
His expression softened.
"So you know." Short. To the point. It was like being kicked in the stomach, Laetherea couldn't breathe anymore. The floor disappeared under her and she would have lost her footing if it wasn't for Loki. Her head was spinning. "I knew you'd have found out eventually but I was hoping to break the news to you before that."
"Is this real, Loki? Or it is all a masquerade? Because if this is just one of your jokes then you have an even more twisted sense of humor than I'd imagined."
Her tone was full of unspoken warnings Loki easily picked up. As if it wasn't enough Laetherea gritted her teeth, as if holding back from hexing him in front of everyone. On the one side Loki was perfectly aware that she could and would do it if there hadn't been so many people around, but on the other side he knew she would never undermine his authority by publicly handing him his ass.
"I promise it is not a jest, Rea. This counts among the rare things I would never take lightly," he assured her, still rubbing the back of her hand with his. "Had I had a choice in the matter I would have proceeded otherwise, but what's done is done, my love."
"You speak of it so unaffectedly," she pointed out, her observation making her chest constrict. It had to mean something to him, or she wouldn't bear it. "Was it an accident?" She gulped down, preparing herself to hear the harsh truth of it: Loki had had no other choice and now had to owe up to his spur of the moment decision.
"Look at me."
He stopped in his tracks and gently lifted Laetherea's chin with his fingers.
"I am looking at you, Loki. Yet I cannot read you," she sighed, her voice melancholy. "Who else knows?"
"Laetherea please, don't jump to any conclusion before I explain," Loki asked of her, and she could not deny him so she bit her lips and waited quietly. "I love you. I know many people doubt that I am even capable of such emotion but I assure you I feel it fiercely, and deeply. Had our circumstances been different I would have spared you a lifetime of humiliation for being my mistress, constantly shamed by those who should be crawling at your feet."
He ushered those words so close to her ear that Laetherea felt his breath against her neck and found it hard to focus on the meaning of his speech. If she turned her head just a little bit she could kiss him. But this conversation was of importance, and she gathered herself.
"Do not use this honeyed voice with me, Loki. I demand the plain truth."
"The truth? But my love the truth is that I knew perfectly how similar the tethering spell was to the binding spell used in wedding ceremonies," he finally admitted. "I knew it, and I didn't hesitate a second. The All-father be damned, I do not care for his approval anymore."
His hand cupped her face, stroke her cheek – Laetherea closed her eyes. She was the most powerful witch in the universe and yet the workings of the nearly magical pull she felt towards Loki was a mystery to her.
"It means that we're married now, technically," Laetherea said, barely managing to voice the words. It sounded unreal.
"I know. I wish I could have given you a saying in it..."
He sounded dreadfully sorry for having acted behind her back – or rather over her unconscious body – but Laetherea could not shake off the feeling that this was not how it should have happened. She hated not having any control over her own circumstances, and feeling that she was venturing on a slippery slope, she decided to pull back altogether.
"I realize this is rather unconventional, but I hope I wasn't in the wrong when I assumed you wouldn't be opposed to the idea of wedding me? I feel the force of your love for me, Rea, and I need you to believe – to know – that every bit of it is reciprocated."
"I want to believe you," she told him, eyes still squeezed shut and voice full of anguish.
Fate have mercy, if this turned out to be nothing but a false hope it would kill her. What if the All-father decided to break up their marriage? After all they did nothing the right way, and their binding didn't come to pass thanks to the traditional wedding spell. Though one might argue that the spell they used is even stronger and harder to break, not to mention that if such decision was taken Laetherea might drift back to the in-between, deprived of her tether to this world.
"You can believe me. I swear I will let nothing stand between us anymore. You must have trillions of questions knowing you, and they will all be answered in time. For now, I think we should go see the one person who will be happy for us."
The Queen no doubt. As skilled as she was she would probably sense the binding spell on them the moment they stepped into her chambers. Invisible ties bind spouses together, and those who mastered sorcery can see them.
"This is not how it should have happened," Laetherea told Loki, earning an apologetic wince. "I wasn't even conscious."
"Sadly I was limited by time to find a better way to do this. We'll have all the time in the universe to do this properly if that is what you want, Rea," he promised her.
She shook her head.
"You have no idea how dangerous this spell was. It is not as easy to cast as it seems and the variables are countless. So many things could have gone wrong, I'm shaking at the sheer thought, Loki!" Laetherea suddenly burst out, once again attracting curious glances. "Tethering someone to an object is tricky enough but you put your own life at risk by casting the spell on yourself."
"And I beat the odds, didn't I?" He asked with a smug smile. Laetherea spoke true, she was indeed trembling lightly under his touch, visibly shaken up by the avalanche of revelations coming her way in such a short time. "Don't torture yourself with what could have happened. We are both alive and well."
"For how long? The All-father might not support our union – let alone the means by which it came to pass. I'm still a nobody within these walls," she reminded him, gesturing around them to the women giving her scornful glares and shameless eavesdropping though they likely didn't catch half of what Loki and Laetherea said under their breath.
Privacy was a foreign concept among nobility.
"All my life I have ignored them, I have walked in your shadow in public because I know that you will always treat me as your equal. This is different, I can't be in the spotlight. People will condemn this union."
Loki grabbed both her hands in his, pulling Laetherea to him and making her gasp and open her eyes wide. Disheveled Loki was, and his clothes were crumpled, his face showed lack of sleep and traces of starvation. But his eyes were alit with a new and hopeful fire Laetherea had not known was burning there. She found herself being incapable of voicing any more of her doubts and fears, swallowing them down instead.
Something swelled in her bosom as she slowly pushed away her concerns for later examination, and accepted what she just learned: she was married.
Maybe not in front of witness, maybe not lawfully, but by what had always been and will always be Loki and her's common ground. The place where they could meet as equals, regardless of social status or birth. The one force more powerful than Odin's wrath.
Magic.
"Is this what the dress is for?" Laetherea asked Loki, making his smile widen this much more. "I should have known it wasn't out of the goodness of your heart that you gave me this priceless gift, you always have hidden intentions."
"Consider it a wedding gift," Loki replied, brushing her hair behind her shoulder. "I do not aspire to live in the spotlight more than you do, trust me. We will do whatever it takes to live our lives as we intend, away from prying eyes. But might we fail, you now have the full authority to put impudent nobles back in their rightful place and will no longer suffer disrespect from those below your status – meaning almost everyone."
"I don't care about my position in Asgard, Loki. I care only about standing by your side, officially or not. I would have been content remaining the despised royal whore in everyone's eyes as long as I had a place in your heart." Laetherea raised her hand when Loki opened his mouth to argue, gesturing him to let her finish. "Had either one of us been... wavering in their affection, the spell would have destroyed us both."
By the way Loki's eyebrows shot up she could tell he did not have this critical piece of information, but the shock on his face was quickly replaced by warmth and mirth as the realization of what it implied dawned on him.
"This is knowledge I will cherish until my dying day," Loki spoke clearly, not caring about anyone hearing them at this point.
He placed a firm kiss on Laetherea's knuckles, making her smile brightly. It wasn't exactly her wedding day – technically speaking – but it felt like it. She was feeling giddier by the second as she came to terms with everything Loki told her. She wore a dress as beautiful as Spring itself, and Loki was safe and sound in her arm, smiling down at her like she was his whole world.
And perhaps she truly was.
"My precious love, my wife," he said out loud, causing a series of shocked gasps to fall from the lips of the ladies in the hallway.
He didn't wait a moment longer to lean in and kiss his beloved, in plain sight and despite the chorus of scoffs it earned them for such an outrageous show of affection in public. Loki did not pay them any mind, for he was focused entirely on Rea's soft, warm lips, and the tenderness of her kiss.
"Come now," she told him, pulling back and tugging on his arm. "We must announce the news to your family. This day is far from being over, we still have many people to scandalize!"
"Maybe the shock of it all will put the All-father in Odinsleep again - at least we'll have peace for a while," Loki grumbled, following Rea.
He sounded confident before but he couldn't hide his apprehension at the thought of having to confront the General about Laetherea and his fresh union. Her hand tightened its grip on him, and Loki met her sparkling eyes. There was determination and unyielding hope shimmering in her dark eyes, lighting up her face in a child-like manner that made everyone forget her true age. Centuries of hardships weighted heavy on a slim woman's small shoulders, though Laetherea carried them with grace – she looked all the more splendid without them nonetheless.
"I will not let anyone take you away from me again, Loki. I would sooner tear this world apart," she vowed.
She was unquestionably serious.
"As would I, my love," Loki said. He brought her hand up to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles.
Laetherea's eyes widened upon seeing the glimmering gold band that appeared on her ring finger.