sorry its kinda all over the place but iit's my first story so plz be nice also I'm glad you're all reading and I know you've liked my status on FB so thx but I'd really love reviews and ideas since I get writers block a lot! Oh and just thx again to anyone and everyone who reads! :-P
Olivia's POV
All eyes were on me as I entered the squad room with Elliot at my side. I was so happy that he decided he'd come back but then I started thinking how awkward it'd be. Elliot had stayed at mine a few nights and I had stayed at his so we were never alone but even though he was with me I still felt alone. So when everyone surrounded me and El I let myself drift into my own world which probably wasn't a good idea.
"Liv?" Elliot asked when he saw how tensed up I was. I could hear him but I wasn't taking it in I just pictured my mother.
"You actually think he'll love you, he's already made the mistake of sleeping with you and he's gonna ditch when you tell him" she laughed fading away and my vision came back into focus.
"You OK?" Elliot asked me softly putting his hand on my shoulder.
"I feel kinda dizzy" I mumbled and Nick grabbed his chair and gave it to Elliot. "Thanks" I whispered and both Nick and Elliot gave me a nod and a smile. Murphy emerged from my office and asked Elliot if he had all his paperwork done.
"It's all here" he said handing Murphy some files about the time he spent with the NYPD. Nick turned to me and gave me a concerned look, I tried to hide my pained expression. My stomach was in knots and I felt like a little girl with stage fright who was called to sing in front of everyone in a school hall.
"You don't look to good" he said putting his hand on my forehead.
"What're you doing?" I asked confused and slightly freaked out by what he was doing.
"That's how I check Zara's temperature" he said and Fin started to laugh hysterically.
"She's a big girl she can take care of herself" Amanda said giving Nick a bit of a jealous glare and it made me wonder if something was going on with those two.
"You know what she's right" I said standing up but I could feel myself fall, I expected to hit the floor but instead I found myself in Nick's arms. I straightened up and Elliot walked towards me.
"What happened?" he asked as I steadied myself I couldn't answer because I myself had no clue of what was going on.
"I'll be fine" I swallowed but Elliot knew that, that wasn't true.
"Liv you need a doctor" he insisted and I agreed but I told him I'd only go if he'd let me go alone so it was settled.
I entered the doctors office and explained what was going on, he told me it was all natural but the next part shocked me. "You do know your pregnant don't you?" he asked and I wasn't sure how to answer I thought I was pregnant but I'd held off on taking the test. After explaining this to the doctor he completely understood and told me that he'd take me for scans.
"Good news Ms. Benson your baby is healthy and I'd say you're about three weeks along" at first I was overjoyed but then my mood changed. There was still a possibility that the baby wasn't Elliot's how could I tell him I wasn't sure if he was the father, it'd crush him. So now there was three men out there who's baby I could be carrying, Elliot, Brian or worst of all William. William never got the needle and I heard there'll be a trial to see if he gets parole since he claims he's turned his life around and that drugs made him do those horrible things to me but I know he's still the same lowlife who raped me.
Elliot's POV
Liv's been very distant with me lately and I'm worried there's something she's not telling me. When we went back to her place after a long day she didn't even say a word she just went straight to bed. I wish I could jump in with her but at this time I knew it was inappropriate I'd only ever slept with her once but I don't want it to end just like that. We haven't spoke about that night at all and even though I respect Liv's privacy I need to talk to her. I knocked at the bedroom door and she peeped her head out "I can't tonight El I'm sorry" she said slamming the door in my face. I don't want her to think I'm using her for sex because I'm not and that's not even what I was going to ask her.
"I wanna talk to you that's all" I called and she opened the door again, she wouldn't look me in the eye which I found frustrating. "Jesus liv just tell me" I pleaded and she looked up at me with fear in her eyes.
"I'm pregnant" she whispered and I was thrilled I mean I'd be the father of her child! Even though there was the slight possibility that it wasn't mine and that's how I started to piece things together. Tears rolled down her cheeks and I pulled her in close.
"It's OK it's not your fault" I whispered and I could feel her grip tighten around me but to be honest I didn't care once she was happy I was happy and that's all that mattered right now.
"I have to get abortion" she said and this shocked me even more, I knew she was upset but that hit me hard I couldn't let her do something I know she'd regret.
"No liv you can't say that" I said softly as she pulled away from me, I knew I had to take a delicate approach.
"I'm not gonna end up like my mother I'd rather the child never to be born than to be with me" she sighed and I felt so torn I wanted to help her because her happiness will make up for my screwed up life but what about an innocent life I can't let that happen.
"Don't say that, you're generous and caring and great with kids, I know my kids love you to pieces and after I left they'd always ask to visit you but I told them they weren't ready but really it was me who wasn't ready and I'm sorry but the point is your not like your mother you are your own person" I said, she gave me a sorrowful look so I knew I wasn't getting through to her. "Here's an idea we'll take a test to see who the father is and then if it's Lewis you'll go get an abortion if I'm the father you can keep the baby and if Cassidy's the father then you can let him have soul custody and you can visit when you like, even adoption just don't rush into things there's plenty of other options" I suggested, she started warming up to the idea and after our talk we decided to get some rest for work the next day.
Olivia's POV
I entered the squad room ready to make my big announcement to the team, of course I didn't wanna but Elliot's right it's better to just tell everyone now rather than later. "OK so what's so important?" Nick asked. "OK just tell them why are you being such an idiot" I kept telling myself but it didn't make a difference I couldn't find the words.
"Um... Liv?" Amanda asked snapping me back to reality.
"I'm pregnant" I said and everyone stared, for awhile they were speechless which I can completely understand but after that they kept talking about me being a mom and awkward questions came up.
"Well you and Elliot were busy in the bedroom by the looks of things" Fin said and Elliot shot him an angry glare before I got the chance to.
"Actually I dunno who the father is" I admitted although saying that made me feel sick and I felt like I got a bad name for myself it was better than lying to the people I care about most. After that no one talked about it much except for Murphy when he asked when I'd be going on maternity leave, which I wasn't sure how to answer since I was considering abortion. I didn't want to but I knew it was important I'd have to go see Lewis.
I sat down across from Lewis his eyes piercing my soul, all the memories were hitting me like a tonne of bricks. "So you just couldn't stay away huh?" he asked with a smug look on his face I hate that look it gave me chills.
"Actually no" I sighed and he gave me a questioning look I knew I'd just have to come out and say it. "I'm pregnant" I whispered and he started to laugh at me I felt so angry with him but I had to stay calm and just get it over with.
"So you're all knocked up" he said continuing to laugh "what makes you think I'm the father?" he asked which made me tense up inside, I knew it was a mind game but I just played along not paying attention to his taunting comments.
"Because you raped me" I said ending the conversation at that.