Haruhiko couldn't help but feel surprised as he walked into Mai's apartment room. It wasn't the size that shocked him, nor was it the lack in decor, but rather the fact that it felt distinctly nostalgic.
Mai noticed Haruhiko's astonished expression.
"It's not that small, Haruhiko." She said defensively.
Haruhiko waved his hands in misunderstanding. "No, it's not that. I just think it looks really nice."
Mai looked disbelievingly at her partner. "Your house is bigger and much more fashioned."
"Maybe so, but a large house for one person feels out of place. I get lonely a lot and it's usually too quiet. It's homely here." Haruhiko replied.
Mai smiled playfully. "Just live at my place then. I could use some company."
"Eh!?" Haruhiko's face reddened as he looked incredulously at Mai.
"I'm joking." Mai snickered at Haruhiko's expression.
Haruhiko never expected Mai to be much of a teaser, but her recent playfulness brought a sense of delight to their relationship. It was different, a good different.
"Well, if you need to use the bathroom, it's-"
"Across the hall. Got it." Haruhiko finished.
"...How did you...know that?" Mai looked astounded.
Haruhiko blinked twice, just as bemused as Mai was.
"How did I know that?"
"Uh..I saw it on the way here." Haruhiko exclaimed, ejecting the first excuse that came to mind.
"If you say so." Mai didn't stress it as she walked up to the fridge with Haruhiko following close behind. "Let's see...what would you like to eat tonight, partner?"
Haruhiko waved dismissively. "I'm not picky. You can decide."
Mai placed her finger over her lips, pondering over her choices. "Well, in that case..."
"Sashimi soup with boiled eggs, asparagus, rice noodles, and beef steaks." Mai decided rather frankly.
"Eh?! How do you even have all the ingredients for that?" As appetizing as the dish sounded, Haruhiko knew he would undoubtedly screw up in its eloquent making.
"What do you think I've been using all my food tickets for? I like cooking. It's fun." Mai said matter-of-factly. Unbeknownst to Haruhiko, Mai actually hated cooking. It was arduous and she often burned herself.
"Could you write "love" with the ketchup for me?"
But ever since then. Ever since 'little' Haruhiko had expressed his pickiness for his rice omelette, Mai had pushed herself every day to provide a meal that would satisfy his complexion, that could make him smile. From them on, cooking had grown into her new hobby. She had become quite skilled, and was confident that she could gratify Haruhiko's taste with every meal. Tonight was no exception.
"And why are you so surprised? Didn't you agree you would help me..?" Mai feigned hurt.
"Of course I'll help you, but I'm going to mess up for sure. I don't know how to cook..." Haruhiko admitted.
Mai smiled endearingly before pushing Haruhiko to the stove. "Well, there's always a first time for everything."
"Haruhiko! The temperature's too high!"
"Haruhiko! I said to cut it into dices not strips!"
"Haruhiko! That's way too much salt!"
"HARUHIKO! WHY ARE YOU USING A KNIFE TO STIR THE SOUP?!"
Haruhiko had no idea why he was still attempting to cook. Any restaurant in Tokyo would have fired him tenfold by now. Honestly he was just surprised that Mai hadn't hit him upside the head yet for being so lousy.
Just as Haruhiko thought that he couldn't bungle up the dish any worse than he already had, God decided to make his life a little less fortunate. Haruhiko stumbled over his own foot, sending the carton of eggs he was carrying tumbling down with him.
Egg shells and yolk splattered all over the apartment floor. The scene resembled more of a war zone rather than a top-tier bistro. Haruhiko looked up nervously and met Mai's flabbergasted gawk, residue of so many ingredients plastered against his clothes.
He had definitely gone overboard this time. Haruhiko put his hands over his head in preparation for Mai's punishment.
But rather than an angry lecture or a slap upside the head, Haruhiko was rewarded with the most beautiful laugh he had ever heard.
Mai clutched her sides in attempt to keep in her full scale chortle but failed miserably. She had never seen something so ridiculously adorable in her life.
Soon enough, Haruhiko couldn't resist the temptation. He smiled and laughed along freely with Mai.
It was times like these when Haruhiko truly understood the beauty in his life. He didn't feel alone. The gaping hole that was his split family was filled by the presence of this beautiful blonde. Life was good, very good.
"You were not joking when you said you couldn't cook." Mai said mirthfully, still giggling from Haruhiko's clumsiness.
"I tried telling you! I really wanted to help, but I'm just too clumsy." Haruhiko said with embarrassment.
"That's the Haruhiko I know, selfless but useless." Mai joked while sticking her tongue out teasingly. She smiled fondly before grabbing a towel to wipe the egg yolk off of her partner's messy hair.
Haruhiko's heart fluttered at the sensation of his hair being rubbed gently. He was fully aware that he was being doted on like a child, but Haruhiko didn't mind, not one bit.
Haruhiko looked up appreciatively at Mai. They gazed into each other's eyes, and for a moment Haruhiko swore he could feel Mai's heartbeat beating in sync with his own. The intimacy of the moment completely blocked off the rest of the world, as Haruhiko simply appreciated the beautiful shade of violet in the blonde's eyes.
Haruhiko was regretfully dragged out of the moment as Mai chucked the towel she was holding right at Haruhiko's face. "Don't think I'm letting you off that easy. You may be hopeless at cooking, but I know you can clean up your own mess. After that, you're going to help me finish this sad excuse of a dish, got it?" Mai stated sternly yet affectionately, a tone that only Mai could pull off.
Haruhiko peeled the towel off his eyes and looked up with surprise. "You still want me to help?"
"Of course. You're my mess, after all." Mai smiled warmly before giving Haruhiko a resolute thumbs-up.
Haruhiko sighed in compliance before returning a confident thumbs-up of his own.
"Hey, would you look at that, this is not too bad." Mai said after downing a spoonful of their distasteful masterpiece.
"Really?" Haruhiko asked hopefully.
"Nope. You ruined it." Mai said bluntly.
Haruhiko pouted. "So mean."
"Awh, I'm just kidding, Haruhiko. It's really not that bad. Try it for yourself." Mai said comfortingly before raising a spoon of soup to Haruhiko's mouth.
"I can feed myself. I'm no child." Haruhiko groused indignantly.
"Awh, don't be a party pooper! Say ahhhh, the airplanes coming." Mai swiveled the spoon in the air, attempting to mimic the dynamic of an aircraft.
Haruhiko chuckled at Mai's antic, before opening his mouth and engulfing the spoonful of potage.
Haruhiko's eyes widened in amazement. It really wasn't that bad. In fact it was rather tasty. Well, they did work together after all, and considering that his contribution was thirty percent at best, Mai's efforts definitely revamped the dish's flavor. The noodles were silky. The beef was tender. It was a perfect blend with the soup to clear his sinuses.
Mai giggled at Haruhiko's content expression. "You seem to be enjoying yourself."
Haruhiko simply nodded in agreement and continued to devour his food. Here Mai thought that Reina would dominate any food-eating contest, but looking at Haruhiko now, he seemed like an imposing contender.
"I'm glad." Mai said gratefully.
Haruhiko looked up at that, not expecting the longingness in Mai's voice.
"You seemed really upset earlier when we were walking home. I made you think about your parents again, when all you're trying to do is move on. I messed up. I was hoping that this would cheer you up." Mai said hopefully.
"Senpai..." Haruhiko was absolutely touched by Mai's worry. He smiled tenderly at the blonde. "Don't worry, I'm always happy when I'm with you."
"Eh?! Where did that come from?!" Mai blushed fervently at Haruhiko's confession.
Haruhiko waved his hand in apology. "Sorry, Sorry! That was way too cheesy. What I meant to say was..."
Haruhiko paused briefly before smiling softly. "Thank you Senpai, for cheering me up. I really enjoyed the meal and the time we spent together."
"Now you're just being way too polite." Mai giggled.
Haruhiko sighed with defeat. "Well, you get one or the either."
Mai laughed warmly at their banter.
Haruhiko smiled at hearing Mai's laugh. There was something about their interaction that put him at ease. It was different than the cool, reserved persona of Koito, or the tempered, sweet calmness of Reina. Mai made him feel alive, wanted...needed. It gave him purpose. Haruhiko was mesmerized by the liveliness of the blonde, eating and enjoying her meal like there was no tomorrow. And then he saw it. The answer to the conflict that constricted his happiness every single day.
He was upset earlier, heartbroken, but not because Mai mentioned her mother. Haruhiko tried to forget. He desperately tried to move on. With every step forward however, it felt as if he was walking two steps back.
But Haruhiko had been so blind, oblivious as a newborn child. He had once told it to Mai, but he failed to perceive it as an answer to his own problems.
He didn't need to forget, nor did he have to remember.
Making new memories and carving one's own path to happiness, that's what makes life so beautiful, and that's all he ever needed.
Mai flicked Haruhiko's forehead to pull him out of his thoughts.
"If you keep daydreaming like that, your food's gonna get cold."
Haruhiko hissed in pain as he rubbed his forehead. "I wasn't daydreaming."
Mai smirked. "Yeah right, you had this dopey smile all over your face."
Haruhiko smiled shyly "I'm just really happy when I'm with you.."
Mai's heart skipped a beat at seeing Haruhiko smile so openly. It was the same smile that she witnessed when Haruhiko had gone shopping with her mother, one filled with unadulterated joy and ardor. Mai knew she was blushing like a fool, but she didn't care. She simply smiled and spoke with her heart.
"Me too."
"Ugh! I don't get it...how is the answer zero?"
Haruhiko moved over next to Mai to see what the blonde was struggling with. Following their meal, the pair had decided to have a study session for upcoming midterm exams. But with the amount of floundering on Mai's part for the past two hours, it was more of a tutor session from Haruhiko.
Haruhiko skimmed through the problem briefly before an imaginary light bulb popped above his head. "Ah, so the first step is to split up the quotient into two separate limits. After that you can evaluate the limits of the functions individually. In this case, x to the third power over e to the three x results in infinity over infinity. If the limit of the function ever results with infinity over infinity you can simplify it using L'Hospital's rule; differentiate the function, solve for the limit, and you'll get a finite answer, which in this case is zero."
"Guillaume de L'Hopital was a French mathematician born into a military family in the late seventeenth century. He abandoned his family's military career in order to pursue his passion for mathematics which he had since he was a child, and ever since then-"
"Blah blah blah, why do your answers always have to come with a history lesson?" Mai exasperated.
"I'm simply trying to expand your knowledge." Haruhiko defended.
Mai dragged her hand across her face, knowing full well how impossible it was to argue with Haruhiko over scholarship. "I don't even have a mid term for history..."
"Knowledge is knowledge. You will always need it at some point in your life." Haruhiko said with an insightful grin.
"Geez, you're such a turnoff. Ugh, when you put it that way, I can't really argue." Mai sighed in defeat.
"Good. Now where was I?...Ah, L'Hopital's father was Anne-Alexandre de l'Hôpital, a Lieutenant-General of the King's army, Comte de Sainte-Mesme and the first squire of Gaston, Duke of Orléans. His mother was Elisabeth Gobelin, a daughter of Claude Gobelin, Intendant in the King's-"
Mai threw her calculus textbook at the young intellect to stop the endless lecture "AH! I get it, I get it! You're a know it all, you don't have to show off."
Haruhiko simply snickered at Mai's fluster.
Mai put her head on the desk wearily. "I think that's enough for one day. I've lost too many brain cells for one night. I'm going to go shower. You should get ready for bed too. There's a sleeping bag for you underneath my desk."
"I still can't believe you're letting me stay here, Senpai. I don't know how I can make it up to you." Haruhiko said a bit regretfully.
Mai gave Haruhiko a tired smile. "As long as you don't give me any more history lessons, that's plenty for recompense."
Haruhiko grinned at that. "No promises."
"Well then, guess you'll be forever in my debt." Mai said with her hands on her hips before walking across the hall to the washroom.
Haruhiko spent a few more minutes on his curriculum before preparing for bed. On any other day, Haruhiko would stay up late to invest time in reading his books, but this wasn't his library.
He could use a supple amount of sleep once in awhile. Maybe even cuddle with Mai if he was lucky.
Haruhiko blushed hotly at the thought.
"Yeah get over yourself. That's not happening"
Haruhiko crawled underneath Mai's desk to retrieve the said sleeping bag. But upon coming out, the graceless adolescent hit his head on the bottom of the desk rather painfully, causing several items to fall off the bureau.
"Itai, that hurt…" Haruhiko rubbed his bruised head.
Haruhiko reached out to pick up the fallen items, before one in particular caught his eye.
Haruhiko held the object curiously. It was a small portrait encased by a hazel frame. It didn't take him more than a few seconds to identify the young child in the picture as Mai. The blonde pigtails and the rambunctious smile were a strong giveaway. Haruhiko didn't recognize the second figure in the photograph, but judging by the loving smile on her countenance, he assumed it was her mother. The resemblance she shared with the contemporary Mai was surprisingly uncanny. They had the same hairstyle, blonde locks parted to the side in a ponytail held together by a blue ribbon. But more importantly were her eyes. They held the same sensitivity and compassion as her daughter's. She truly looked like an ideal image for a future Mai.
Mai lived alone. He knew from the start, but never dove deeper than that. Mai was independent, able to take care of herself as well as those she cared about.
But why? She loved her mother. Haruhiko could tell as much just from looking at the photo. Why did she have to be alone…? He suddenly found himself desperate for an answer. Not just for the sake of his curiosity, but for his own atonement.
"Haruhiko?"
Haruhiko jumped in surprise. He didn't notice that the blonde had returned from her shower.
"Sorry. I shouldn't be looking through your stuff."
Mai shook her head. "It's okay."
Haruhiko smiled lightly. "You were really cute when you were a kid."
Mai laughed at that. "You know that's not true. If there's one word to describe me as a child, it's obnoxious."
"This picture would have to disagree. You look so happy." Haruhiko countered.
"Thanks.." Mai said softly.
Her gratitude had a sense of wistfulness to it. Haruhiko took a deep breath before asking the question at the forefront of his mind.
"Senpai."
Mai met Haruhiko's gaze.
"Why do you live alone?"
Mai's body tensed and Haruhiko seemed to notice her discomfort. She stood stone still for what seemed like ages. Haruhiko opened his mouth to apologize, not wanting her to feel obligated to answer such a personal question, but stopped when the blonde walked forward and sat next to him on the carpet floor, shoulder to shoulder.
Mai took the portrait from Haruhiko and stared longingly at the lovely memory with her mother.
"Every weekend we would go to the garden to pick daisies. We had little competitions on who could find one with more petals. I could never win, Mom always had a keen eye for picking flowers. But just this once, on my fifth birthday, I found the needle out of the haystack. Mom said it was the most beautiful blossom she had seen. It made me so happy." Mai continued to caress the frame of the picture.
"I loved her so much. Papa was always gone for work, but Mom never left me alone. She always said...to never let go to what's important to me. And to me, having her by my side is what I cherished most. I wanted to live up to her ideal, and make her proud."
"Even when the doctor diagnosed her with stage four cancer, she never changed. She promised me that no matter what happened I would never be alone. But that's what hurt me the most, because I knew it was the first promise that she wouldn't be able to keep."
"At the funeral, I wanted Papa to hold my hand, to tell me that he also believed in Mom's ideals. But he never held me, he didn't look at me. I saw him less and less. After a few months, he left the country, and left me with one of his colleagues. I haven't heard from him since. I'm too afraid to talk to him. I'm scared that he's moved on. I never got close with my dad's colleague, but I didn't want to burden him with my presence just cause Papa couldn't take care of me. When I graduated junior high, I moved into this apartment. Mom taught me how to take care of myself before she left and the reward system at Hosea lets me provide for myself. I live alone, because life isn't perfect. Sometimes things just happen that don't go your way. I wish...I could change it."
Mai couldn't bring herself to look at Haruhiko. A part of her felt relieved for finally sharing her story with someone so close to her. She had many opportunities to do so in the past, but she feared Haruhiko's reaction, just like she feared it now. Mai always gave off the impression of independence and conviction. It was her way of concealing her loneliness. But now that Haruhiko had seen her vulnerability, Mai felt petrified at the possible rejection.
"Why…"
Mai looked up expecting to see indignation, but was instead met by forlorn eyes streaming with tears.
"Haruhiko…" Mai reached out to comfort him, only to be swatted away by her distressed companion.
"Why? How can you be worried about me when you're hurting so much more?! My mom may have left, but I will always have the choice to hold onto her! You can't. You don't deserve this...It's not fair." Haruhiko cried mournfully.
Mai's next words sunk Haruhiko's heart further into the ground.
"It's okay. I'm used to being alone."
Haruhiko refused to accept it. He refused to believe in a world where fate was uncontrollable. Mai deserved happiness just as much as he did, and he'd be damned if he let anything deprive her from it.
He saw his purpose full and clear now.
Mai squeaked in surprise as Haruhiko enveloped the blonde in his arms.
"No one want's to be alone. I won't let you…" Haruhiko whispered promisingly.
Mai's lip trembled at Haruhiko's promise.
She was so tired, so sick of pretending that she had changed .
Never once had she cried for her mother's death. If she did, Mai knew she would never be able to stop. Because within the deepest part of her soul...she still believed in her mother's words.
"I'll be here."
Haruhiko smiled in relief as Mai buried her face into Haruhiko's shoulder, sobbing openly and holding onto him for dear life. He hated seeing people cry, but just this once, Haruhiko saw beauty in the act of sorrow. Mai was crying for herself. That enough proved she was human, and that alone was enough for Haruhiko.
Mai wept harder as Haruhiko brought her body closer to his. She was so glad, so happy that despite falling, there was someone below to catch her.
She grieved.
She suffered.
She cried.
But for the first time...it felt okay.
Mai accepted Haruhiko's embrace and fell deeper into the warmth of the one she came to fall in love with.
As the pair's souls were mended, the night shined even brighter under the cascading glow of moonlight, showing the first signs of a blossom's budding.
Haruhiko awoke to the delicate gleam of morning light glinting onto his eyes. Somehow he managed to end up on the floor. Blinking groggily, Haruhiko stretched his lax muscles, before noticing that a body was snuggled up against him. Haruhiko smiled as last night's events were recalled from his memory. The blonde had fallen asleep in his arms throughout the night. Not having the strength to carry her to her bed, Haruhiko had simply joined the blonde and passed out on the carpet floor.
He stroked Mai's back, who was still deep in sleep.
"You look so beautiful with your hair down"
Judging by the sun's position, Haruhiko had enough time to catch the morning train home and change into some clean clothes. School started in two hours, so he had to get a move on if he wanted to change and eat breakfast.
Haruhiko slid his left arm under Mai's legs and his right behind her back, scooping the blonde up in a bridal carry. He tucked Mai in the much more comfortable bed sheets.
Haruhiko's heart felt heavy at the thought of leaving Mai's side, even if it was for the shortest amount of time.
He found himself involuntarily leaning in towards the blonde's face, and without thinking, Haruhiko stole a kiss from Mai's soft lips.
"What am I doing?"
It did little to alleviate his heavy heart, but at seeing Mai smile lightly from the contact, Haruhiko ran his fingers through the blonde's hair contently.
Stepping through the apartment door, Haruhiko stared longingly at the room to leave one last message for the one he promised to not let go.
"I'll be here, always."
A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the late update. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Not too sure when I'll release chapter four. I have finals coming up, and a vacation right afterward, but I'll try my best to put something up before I leave. Thanks for reading!