A/N: I own nothing. This song is "Platinum Blonde Life" by No Doubt. Kind of a dark chapter….

*******TRIGGER WARNING: mentions self-harm in detail(ish). If this affects you in some negative way, DO NOT READ this chapter. *********

Sidenote: Thanks sooooooo much to everyone who put this story on alert, or favorited it, or put me on author alert. THANK YOU!

I'm closing all the curtains
So don't you even bother
And I'm calling out the murder
But I'm underneath the covers
But who's fooling who
With this mood like a train
Watch me roll over
Get out of my way
There's a knock on my door
But I'm not gonna open it
I'm gonna close my eyes
And maybe it will go away
I want a platinum blonde life
So I keep bleaching out the colors
I try to do what I oughta
But never drink enough water
Where did my lover go?
I really wish he could stay
I feel it's empty as a widow
I'm gonna sleep it all away
I'm gonna sleep all trough the day
I'm gonna asleep my life away
I'm gonna sleep all through the day
I'm gonna sleep myself away
I'm gonna close my eyes and maybe it'll go away

Kurt had a bad day.

On top of being at Dalton for only a month, the workload seemed to get higher and higher. First, he had French, which typically wasn't bad, but the fact that it was at seven o'clock in the morning put a damper on things. Exhausted, Kurt dragged himself through Biology, where he was paired for a project with one of the few idiots let into Dalton because of rich daddies with extremely important ties to the school. Later, in Algebra, he got his midterm back with a lovely red C scrawled across the top. Finally, he reached his breaking point after almost getting detention in History and American Lit for falling asleep in class.

This Thursday, like every Thursday, Kurt and Blaine were supposed to head to a little coffee place they had found in town, a little ways off campus. The day of classes ended at 3:00, but the pair met in the lobby at 4:00 so that some work could be done beforehand.

Kurt sprinted to his room the minute the bell rang in American Lit. He felt lost and overwhelmed from the events of the school day, struggling without anybody to help him. He knew that he had promised Burt he would never do it again, and he knew that they thought they had taken away all the razors, but Kurt had found one in the corner of his closet, where no one had thought to look.

He never cut deep enough to leave serious scars, but there were faint lines marking the insides of Kurt's wrists that someone could see with close attention. It started when the bullying began, when Kurt began hating so many parts of who he was. The self-loathing, and pain, and sadness seemed to follow the blood down the drain.

Kurt tried not to cut anymore, but sometimes he couldn't help it. The need for this kind of release made him forget anything about a coffee date with Blaine, and the only thing that crossed his mind as he shrugged off his navy blazer was that he didn't want to get caught. It was, at the same time, Kurt's most shameful secret and, it seemed to him, a perfect way to solve his problems.

Kurt pulled the window shut and closed the curtains. He shut and locked the door to his single room (which made it so much easier to be left alone), grabbed his razor, and went into the bathroom, locking that door behind him as well.

He sat on the floor, shutting his eyes and taking a few deep breaths before pressing the sharp edge of the blade to his wrist. A flash of pain made him inhale sharply, but he sighed in pleasure as the crimson beads appeared along the cut. The white tile was spotted with bright drops as they dripped from Kurt's arm. Kurt sighed again and leaned his head against the door.

By 4:15, Blaine was getting worried. Kurt had never been this late before; what could have happened to him? Blaine decided he would go see if Kurt was still in the library, or talking to a teacher he had forgotten about.

Blaine checked the classrooms of each of Kurt's teachers, but he was not there. A thorough search of the library proved fruitless as well, and Blaine was getting worried. The slightly panicked look on Blaine's face alerted Wes and Trent and prompted them to ask what the problem was. Blaine explained the situation, and Trent said he remembered seeing Kurt rushing off in the direction of his dorm as soon as classes ended, so Blaine left them and practically ran to Kurt's room.

The door was locked.

Blaine knocked politely at first, thinking that Kurt had fallen asleep or something similarly innocent.

Kurt heard the knock at the door, but ignored it, closing his eyes again and making a third cut on his wrist.

Blaine was completely panicked now. This had never happened before, and Kurt wouldn't answer! What if something had happened to him? Blaine almost laughed in relief as he recalled the key to the room, which Kurt had given him three days before. It was "only for emergencies", but Blaine figured that this was an emergency.

With shaking hands, Blaine guided the key into the door and flung it open, looking around wildly for the problem. Everything here looked normal. But then where was Kurt? The closed door to the bathroom made a string of worst-case scenarios rush through his head, and he had to take a steadying breath before pounding on the door.

"Kurt! Kurt! Are you in there? Please, answer me!" Blaine's voice broke.

Kurt, feeling the fourth cut, put the razor up on the counter and tried to pull himself up and respond to Blaine.

"Blaine! I—I'm f—fine. You c—can leave."

Kurt stuttered and sounded pathetically weak. He silently cursed Blaine for being so vigilant as he pounded on the door a little harder and tried the doorknob. Blaine's voice was trembling as he shouted for Kurt to let him in; he knew something was wrong. As Kurt finally managed to stand, using the doorknob, he accidentally unlocked the door. Blaine pushed it open and took in the scene in front of him.

His eyes raked over the red on the tiles, the still-bleeding cuts on Kurt's wrist, and the razor on the edge of the sink. With every second it seemed less real. The Kurt Blaine knew did not do that.

"No. No. No. No. No. No. NO!" Blaine, betrayal etched on his face, turned to face Kurt.

"How could you do this? How could you destroy yourself?"

Kurt, overwhelmed by the confrontation, moved to slide onto the floor again. Instead, Blaine pulled him into his arms, left the bathroom, and carried Kurt to his bed.

Kurt shook his head, his silent tears turning to sobs. "You weren't supposed to know, Blaine!"

Blaine's own wrecked sobs tore from his chest as he lay down next to Kurt. "You can't Kurt. I—I need you here. I need you whole! You don't realize, you're hurting everyone around you too, not only you. Please stop. Please, Kurt. I'm begging you. I'll be with you every step of the way, every second that you need me. I just can't lose you. Ever."

Kurt wiped his eyes and looked at Blaine. The intense love and devotion in his eyes made Kurt feel awful. How could he do that to Blaine?

Kurt shakily cleared his throat.

"Help me, please. Save me from myself. But don't leave."

Blaine pulled him as close as possible.

"I will always be here for you. Always."

A/N: Well, that's that. Review please?