Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts."

-Nikki Giovvani

Last night I came to the decision that I am a stupid fool. I was up late trying to sleep but not being able to because of my excitement about leaving the next day for Beya Wing Bay city. It was as I was staring up at my ceiling that it hit me.

I had hurt Sora in the past.

I don't know why this fact hadn't made itself present earlier. I was too busy being infatuated with my new crush and desperately wanting to meet him. I disregarded the fact that I used to bully him and only focused on the fact that we were older and what happened in the past didn't mean anything now.

How wrong I am.

Not only do I vividly remember being bullied by my older brothers and their friends, but I remember the pain that came with it. A biting pain that eats at your heart. How could I assume that Sora wouldn't feel at least bitter towards me, better yet, hate me?

At around four I gave up trying to sleep and put on my jogging clothes. Working out in the wee morning hours has always been my favorite part of my day. There's just something about being up when all of the world is asleep. I find it refreshing to be able to focus on my thoughts and feelings without anyone interrupting and giving their opinions. I often leave the house around 5 AM and stay out till the sun rises, only returning when the neighbors start to say hello.

It's one of those mornings, as usual. I leave the house and start jogging down the street, my mind is empty and I just focus on the sounds of my shoes hitting the ground. It's dark outside and the streetlights are my only source of light. Like stars in space, it's almost surreal. Sometimes when I run like this in the morning I really do feel like I'm in another world. And when I was younger I used to want to be in that 'other world' so badly. I didn't like the world when I was young, it confused me and I often felt left out by the people in this world. It was part of the reason why I used to beat up Sora. One was out of anger with myself, two because of envy for his wonderful personality despite his hardships, and three because I needed to feel powerful to make myself feel better.

I never had an excuse to hate myself. I had loving parents, annoying but equally loving brothers, great friends and a wonderful, large home. I never had to want for anything, I'd always had it. My parents wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice their lives' for me. I'm athletic, talented, attractive, and charismatic. Everything anyone less fortunate than me would want. So when I think back to my childhood, I become so confused. Why did I hate myself at such a young age? What was wrong with me?

As a child, I felt alone. I had three older brothers that usually hung out with themselves, unless it was to pick on me. This was normal though, all of the young island children had older siblings who bothered them. So I befriended these other island children and we, like our older siblings, began to pick on our younger siblings. This was normal as well. But in my case, and a few other children who had no younger siblings, it was different. The need to be above someone else is present in all children. It's not innocent, but that's the way kids are, and as I grew older it became harder to handle. I felt as if I was being pushed down and didn't have a leg to stand up on.

My mother and father used to tell me never to call anyone names or put people down. My parents told my brothers the same thing, and they obeyed them, except when with me. But we were siblings and siblings fought, so my parents didn't think much of it. One day, however, I went against what they had told me and slapped a smaller boy in the face. It was a hot summer day and the island children were all at the beach trying to stay cool. Parents on my island are very laidback and trust their children being alone, so no adults were present. I was playing a game with a couple of my friends when a little boy with spiky brown hair asked to join in. I'd never seen him before, but I instantly hated him. He had this sunny smile and beautiful blue eyes that put the sky to shame. And he was…just good. He was the nicest person I had ever met. He didn't put the younger children down, he played with them. He didn't throw a fit when people left him out, he shrugged his shoulders and found someone else. He didn't hit me back when I hit, or cry when I called him names. He smiled, albeit small, and walked away.

That's what made it so easy for me to hurt him. He didn't make me feel guilty.

Nobody really cared that I bullied him. Sora was poor and had no parents. He wasn't worth much in the school's eyes so they didn't waste time on him. He never made it through the day without an insult or shove by either me or someone else. He wasn't the brightest student in school, and looking back I can understand why. He didn't get any help on his homework at home and his foster parents wouldn't pay for him to see a tutor. I remember him failing all of his subjects in fifth grade, although deep down we all know he shouldn't have failed English. Sora was wonderful at English.

Sora was very insightful. Most of the students, including me, thought he was stupid and wasn't capable of thinking deeply. He proved us wrong one day when we were assigned to write our final paper in fifth grade on our favorite color. Now, one wouldn't think that writing a paper on your favorite color would require deep thinking, but when I think about it now, I had a hard time coming to a decision, and why. On the day we were to present our papers Sora was chosen first to present. He had walked up to the front of the room with a smile, like always, and just started talking.

"I don't have a favorite color." He had started. Immediately we began giggling, all of us calling him stupid under our breaths. You see, our school was strict, you couldn't think outside the box because creativity was not promoted and unfortunately, Sora's essence was creative. We knew from that statement that Sora had failed his assignment and would probably fail the class because of it.

"It's too hard for me to pick a favorite color because all of the colors complement each other. Like if you look at the ocean, it's a pretty blue. But if you stick sand next to it, a light brown, it makes the blue and the brown even more attractive. And if you put a gold sun over the ocean that's sitting in a sky of aqua, it makes the land below stunning. Not to mention all the shades of green that the plants add to the scene. But what really makes me not able to pick a favorite color is people. I love people and people come in all different shades. They all have different eye colors from deep browns to light blues, and their skin tones range from rich ebony to pale cream. Not to mention all the different hair colors. I couldn't possibly pick a favorite color and say one is better than the other. So in conclusion, I don't have a favorite color."

I hadn't felt stupid in a long time, but walking up to do my presentation on my favorite color, silver, seemed so ridiculous after that presentation. Instead of telling him he did a good job, we hated him. And to our sick delight, a month later we found out that Sora hadn't passed English and like all his other classes, he would repeat it. I didn't matter that he had an A going into that final paper, all that mattered was that we students hated him, the teacher hated him, and we all hated him for being more insightful than ourselves. Ah, jealousy.

The last time I saw Sora was when he wished me luck in an empty locker-room. It was the day before my first big game in eighth grade. I had stayed late to practice shooting some hoops and Sora had stayed late to be yelled at by our gym teacher about being too short and skinny to be any use in gym. We both headed to the locker room to change at the same time when my coach told us he had to lock up. I wasn't in the mood to pick on Sora because I was too worried about my game. Sora of course, noticed this about me.

"Hey," He had said softly. I had looked up and raised an eyebrow at him.

He smiled, like he always did, while zipping up his hoodie. "Good luck on your game." And then he was gone. And he remained gone from my mind until I saw him on the graduation PowerPoint where he suddenly took over my mind like a plague.

These were the memories that kept me from sleeping last night. The memory of that first day on the beach hit me like a tidal wave and the memories that followed with even more force. But it's the realization that me and Sora are nowhere near friends that makes me cringe. I suddenly feel like refunding my ticket and staying home. I have no real reason for seeing Sora but to indulge in my little crush. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I hadn't thought about Sora's reaction to me randonomly showing up at his skating event. I have never said a kind word in my life to Sora, and now here I am, leaving for Beya Wing Bay City tonight to go and see him. I wouldn't be surprised if Sora doesn't know who I am. Hell, I forgot about him until I saw that slideshow. But something tells me he wouldn't forget about me or the others that bullied him.

As strong as he was, he had to have had scars. Both physical and emotional. And scars are deep and they never go away.

So that's why I'm out here jogging in the wee hours of the morning, trying to get my thoughts together. I have a decision to make. I can either stay home, or go and apologize.

I stop in place as I suddenly see the sun start to peak out from behind trees. So many colors. Pink, orange, red, yellow…it reminds me of Sora.

Without a second thought, I make my decision. I decide hat I wouldn't be my typical self. Typical Riku would've headed straight to the cashiers office at the airport to refund his ticket. Typical Riku wouldn't apologize to someone for his actions so long ago. Typical Riku wouldn't be thinking about how to win someone's friendship, but instead be thinking about how to make someone win his friendship. No, I won't be typical Riku. I will board that plan tonight with a plan in motion. I will find Sora, apologize, and hopefully try to befriend him. I will right my wrongs and get rid of this guilty feeling that has plagued me all night.

I will make it right.

As I watch the colorful sun rise slowly in the east, I feel a little bit better. A little bit stronger and a little bit wiser. I feel like a piece of me, though small, has finally matured. I head home feeling refreshed like I usually do after a good run, but this time it's for other reasons.

There's something about realizing your mistakes you've made that makes you either weaker or stronger. As a child, realization made me weaker. I would blame my mistakes on others to deflect them, to make me feel better. But now, as an adult, there's something about realizing these mistakes, knowing I am wrong, and finding a way to fix them that is so liberating yet difficult at the same time.

Because I am a proud person, apologizing won't be easy for me. Though I feel regret in my heart, I know my mind will tell me otherwise when I see him face to face. I know that my walls will surge up when I see him and my cocky and rude side will try to let itself loose. But here, in the morning sun, I know I'm stronger than the old Riku.

I'm going to fix things between me and Sora. My pride can sit on the sidelines for once.

--

A/N: Just a quick comment to you all. This story is not going to be as long as the Fallen Portrait (probably around 15 chapters compared to 40 in the Fallen Portrait). So if you think this story is moving too fast our anything, please note that it's for a reason. To be honest, this story just isn't going to be as deep as the Fallen Portrait. It's not an angst fic, which I usually write. It's supposed to be light and carefree so there will be very few deep chapters. I know this is a big difference from what I usually write, but because of my past depressed moods, I think its better I write something lighthearted right now. So I hope you don't mind.

In response to rutger5000's review: Thanks for the criticism! :) I value your opinion, though I don't personally think the gay part is OOC because there seemed to be a lot of hints of it in the KH games (just my opinion). Anyway, I hope this chapter sort of meets your expectations. :)

Thanks for the reviews!