It took over an hour but I finally convinced the two of them to take Dylan to the park. She was helpful, getting really excited when I mentioned the swings. Dylan loved being outside and running around. She had a lot of energy now that she was wide awake. She would start terrorizing the clean house soon if we didn't take her somewhere. Bellamy asked me to come along, but I wanted to be alone for a few minutes. It was true, it wasn't easy to get alone time with a toddler.

Octavia told him it would be fun, and Dylan crawled on his lap. He was sold the minute she kissed his cheek and asked if Bellmy would take her to the swings. I could see him melt as she sat on his lap and pouted. She was the perfect little actress.

They were adorable together, exactly what I always thought my life would be like. I just wish he would've been there for the first two years of her life. I knew I could wish it all I wanted, but I could never change the past. All I could do was make sure he was in her future.

Once they were gone I fell apart. The tears I tried to control started to fall again. It hurt to realize I was cutting all ties to the life I had. I didn't miss him, I just never thought it would end this way. We were supposed to make it. Our story wasn't supposed to end this way.

I sat on the couch for a few minutes, getting the hurt out of my system. I really didn't want to cry, it made the bruises worse. Bubbah tried to kiss away the tears, he made it better. I held him tightly as I pulled myself together. It was easier to fall apart in front of him than Dylan. He didn't ask why mommy was crying, why the tears wouldn't stop.

When Dylan turned two I cried myself to sleep. She wandered into my room, asking why I was crying. I lied and told her I didn't feel well. She climbed up into the bed with me and wrapped her tiny arms around me. She kissed my wet cheeks, which only made me cry more. She didn't care why I was hurting, she just wanted it to stop. I wanted to stop for her, but sometimes that wasn't enough.

It was after that night I realized I needed to find a way to break free from him and the life I was living. I owed it to my daughter to be the mother my mom was. I needed to be strong and happy for her. I couldn't do that if I was stuck in that house.

I poured myself a glass of wine. I knew it wouldn't stop the tears, but somehow it might make me feel better. I was standing in the kitchen, looking around at how neat Bellamy kept his house. I was surprised, he had always been pretty messy. My eyes scanned the counter, that's when I saw the box. Normally I wouldn't snoop, but my name was written across the first envelope. I pulled it out slowly, there were a dozen other envelopes that followed. My eyes went wide, he had written me actual letters. They all had return to sender on the front.

That bastard wouldn't even let my friends find me. I closed my eyes, feeling another rush of anger. I would never go back. I would pick up my life and find a way to make it here. I didn't need him, not when he took away every single person I loved. He wanted total control, I wasn't willing to give that to him anymore.

I wanted to read these letters, but I couldn't make myself open them. I ran my finger down the side, catching my nail on the corner. No it wasn't right to read something I never got.

I took a sip of wine and pulled my phone out. I looked at the picture of us. It was our first family photograph, the one I convinced him to take when Dylan turned one. She was standing up giggling, I was staring at her. He was smiling, but it was forced. I needed to change that.

I scrolled through my contacts and called my house. I needed to do this without an audience and I didn't know when the three of them would be back. I took in a deep breath, taking another swig from the glass. My heart beat erratically in my chest as I waited for someone to pick up, "hello?"

Just hearing my mom's voice made me even more homesick, "hi mom," my voice broke and I heard her gasp, "I've missed you."

"Clarke," she sounded shocked, "honey how are you?"

A sob escaped my throat. The last one I hoped, "I've been better. I uh, I'm actually in town. I was hoping I could bring Dylan to see you. I have a lot of explaining to do. I know it's been a while since you've heard from me."

I could hear her tears, "I never blamed you. I know he kept you locked in that ivory tower. I told Bellamy he needed to break you out."

I smiled, "I didn't need someone to break me out. I freed myself. So what about tomorrow? Dylan really wants to see her grandparents. I really want to see you guys too."

"Tomorrow sounds lovely," my mom stopped and I knew something was wrong, "just come over. I can't wait to see my girls."

I smiled, "okay tomorrow. I'm staying at Bellamy's so if you need me that's where I'll be."

After a few more awkward questions, I told my mom I had to go. I didn't want to catch up over the phone. I wanted to talk to her and my dad in person. I wanted them to know I was okay. I promised I would be over tomorrow, I would bring Dylan. I was hoping Bellamy wanted to go along for the ride too.

I finished my second glass of wine by the time they got home. I smiled watching Bellamy carry in my little girl through the front door. She was so tiny in his strong arms, her blue eyes closed as she slept against his shoulder. It was amazing how attractive a guy became once he was holding a child. I had never thought so many dirty things about my best friend until that very moment.

"I'll put her in my bed," he told me and Octavia as Bubbah followed at his heels. Wherever Dylan went that poor dog followed. They were the best of friends.

Octavia sat down across from me, "did she behave? She can get a little rowdy once she's comfortable around you. She's got more energy than I can deal with at the moment."

She laughed, "she's adorable Clarke. She definitely got your spunk, that's for sure. She loves my brother. Every time I told her something she ran to him for protection. Watching the two of them together, it's sad to realize they aren't related. They fell in love pretty fast."

I smiled, "yeah. I'm glad they get along."

Octavia's eyes flashed towards the stairs, "he told me that he told Roma not to come over. He said he was busy. He misses you Clarke. He's always been -," she stopped when he came bounding down the stairs.

"She's out. That child has got a lot of energy, Clarke," it must have been warm out because he was sweating, "so how was mommy's alone time?"

I blushed as he eyed the wine glass on the table in front of me, "I called my mom. I told her I would be over tomorrow. Will you come with me Bell? I don't think I'm ready to hear I told you so on my own just yet."

He nodded slowly, Octavia raising her eyebrows at both of us, "yeah, sure," he leaned forward, "so now that the little ears are out of the room, how are you really? Because every time you show me a bruise, I think of another way to murder that asshole."

I couldn't help but laugh, "I'm okay. Last night was hard, I cried all the way here. But I have to have a brave face for Dylan. That's why I came to you. I knew it would be easier to be with you."

He smiled, sitting down beside me. I curled up against his side, leaning my head on his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head and I knew I would never feel safer in my entire life. I closed my eyes as I listened to the beating of his heart beneath his chest.

"Clarke your phone's ringing," Octavia's voice woke me up. I must have dozed off for a few minutes. I sighed and grabbed the device from the table, not bothering to look at the screen.

"Hello?" I cleared my throat.

The line was silent for a second, "do you really think you can take my daughter away from me and live happily ever after with that bum? I won't let you have her. She's my daughter too."

My heart froze as I sat up, "leave me alone, John. I told you last night you wouldn't see her again. Not after all the bruises you gave me."

Bellamy's eyes were wide and he gestured for me to give him the phone. I sighed, "you think they'll believe that? It's your word against my, babe. Trust me they'll believe me. I'm the respectable cop. You're the one who ran away to be with her lover."

I knew he was right. That's why I ran. Going to the police would do nothing because he was respected. He was in line for a promotion, no one would ever believe me. I closed my eyes, feeling defeated once again.

Bellamy took the phone from me, "leave her alone. I won't let you touch her again," he stopped and I heard John saying something loudly on the other end, "no I'm not her father. But I don't beat her mother beyond recognition either. If you lay a hand on her ever again, I will end you myself."

Tears filled my eyes as he cut John off. I squeezed his arm and he held me tighter, "he's never going to stop. Not until he has my daughter and I'm dead."

"I won't let that happen princess," he whispered, kissing my cheek. I looked at my best friend, the one person I could always count on. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't believe him. Because this was bigger than all the other problems we had been through together. This was bigger than anything we had dealt with. For the first time in my life Bellamy couldn't chase away the fears.

I wiped away a tear, just as Dylan started to cry. I pulled myself together and walked up the stairs. I heard Octavia whisper something to her brother. It sounded like she wanted him to tell me something. I didn't have the energy to eavesdrop, not when my daughter needed me.

"Momma," she was petting Bubbah's back, "bad dreams."

I crawled into the bed beside her and held her against my chest. There were nights when I fell asleep beside her, safe in her room away from the temper that was her father. I squeezed her hands and kissed her head.

"Remember what I told you? You have to go back to sleep and face the dragon. Then you won't have the bad dreams again."

She nodded her head slowly, and I could feel her falling back asleep. I smiled, my baby could fall asleep anywhere. I ran my fingers through her curls as Bubbah laid his head on my arm. Her breathing evened out and I felt safer with her in my arms.

"Is everything okay?" Bellamy stood at the door. I nodded my head and he walked into his room, "is she asleep?"

I nodded, "bad dream. Where's your sister?"

He sighed, "she left to meet Lincoln for dinner. She invited us, but I didn't think you'd want to see him and the gang again until your bruises heal."

I nodded, "I miss them. Raven, Finn, Monty. Is Jasper still an overgrown child?"

He laughed, "of course. He found a girl though. You'll like her she's smart and funny. Her name's Maya. When you're feeling up to it we should have them here for dinner."

"I'd like that," I missed my friends. Raven and Finn were practically married before I met John. I could only imagine how that went after I was gone. They should've had a little one by now. Jasper was always chasing Octavia, who was head over heels in love with Lincoln it was a lost cause. Miller and Monty were always the lost ones, perfectly okay without a person beside them.

I had been like that once. Strong and independent. Now I felt broken and scared. I didn't want to feel that way anymore.

Bellamy crawled into the other side, Bubbah in between us, "Clarke I have to tell you something."

I looked at him, he looked different from the boy I remembered. He was fighting himself, I could see the battle behind his eyes. I didn't let him tell me whatever it was, "why did you write me those letters?"

I wasn't ready to hear whatever it was he had to tell me. Even if it would tell me he was feeling the same way, I just wasn't ready for that, "because I missed you. Because I thought he might not see them in the mail. I wanted to know it wasn't you, that it was him. I thought maybe I could get through."

I squeezed my eyes closed, chasing off more tears, "I thought about that, writing you. But I knew it would backfire. I knew somehow I would get into trouble with him if he found out. That doesn't mean I didn't care."

He smiled, "I know. I love you Clarke. You're my best friend."

We had always told each other we loved them, but I felt my heart sink a little when he added the best friend part. I wanted him to just love me. I looked down at Dylan and watched him pet Bubbah.

"Someone's finding a soft spot for the Bubs," Bellamy laughed as I nodded at him and my fur baby.

He sighed, "he's so ugly he's cute."

I smiled and shook my head. This was what I always imagined having. My little family curled up in bed talking, laughing. There was no fighting, there were no fears or tears. It was happy and loving. I didn't worry about cracking an eggshell that would set off his anger. This was the life I wanted, right here with my best friend.

"I think the bed might get a little crowded tonight," I knew I couldn't sleep on the couch again. And I wouldn't let Dylan out of my sight. Neither would Bubbah.

Bellamy laughed, "there's plenty of room."

I smiled back at him, knowing he meant more than just his bed. He was giving me an invitation to stay in his home. I was grateful I didn't have to ask. Because I knew we were both safe here, for the time being. I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling at ease with my situation. For now I had my daughter and I had Bellamy. That's all I needed to make it through the night.