Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own Mahou Sensei Negima!
Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon created and own Fate/Stay Night and Fate Grand Order.
We are gaining no monetary profit from the creation of this work of fiction.
Any similarities between any possible real life King Arthur and the one depicted in this story should be blamed on Type-Moon, not us.
Unequally Rational and Emotional Special.
The Witch's Secret Garden.
Story by OverMaster.
Proofreading, Spellchecking and Additional Lewd Jokes by Shadow Crystal Mage.
"The King of the Dolls?" Negi repeated what he had just heard, blinking in confusion.
Caster nodded patiently. "Yes, that's exactly what I've just said. If we are to be allies, you must give me a proof of your sincerity first. As the leader of the Ala Alba faction and the representative from the strongest of all Classes, you are the ones I have chosen to represent your associates for this endeavor."
Saber scowled. "Woman, shouldn't we be the ones demanding for proof of your good will?"
Caster smiled, a thin red curve on the creamy paleness under the shadows of the purple hood. "Even Kings are mindful of the requests of witches, my dear knight. Surely, a strong, sexy knight like yourself has more endurance to undergo a test of might than a humble spell weaver?"
"You are humble only whenever it suits you, Caster," Saber lectured, "but let not be said I back away from your challenge. Speak your mind. And don't call me sexy or I will complain to your Master about sexual harassment."
The other Servant easily held up an elaborate fifty centimeters tall diorama built inside of a bottle, suspiciously similar to Evangeline's resort. Negi's eyes widened.
"This," Caster explained, "is a variant of a Reality Marble I have developed through my research. It's my Territory Creation skill taken to its logical extreme, thanks to my peerless genius and restless effort. Ah!" she sighed, hugging the diorama and rubbing her cheek against it, hearts floating around her head. "My Secret Garden, how many others can say they have perfected anything this incredible?!"
"It's only a model," Saber judged. "I have seen better fabrications in the preparations for the School Festival, Caster."
"No, no, please don't say that, Saber-san," Negi told her. "I've seen things like this before, and even been inside of them several times. My Master created a subdimension inside of a bottle, complete with its own separate passage of time that doubles as her summer villa. She made it herself. Well, she bought the mass produced parts off mail order, but she put it all together by herself."
Saber grimaced. "The dark arts are certainly hedonistic. Why not to employ such skills for the benefit of the masses instead?"
"Ah," Caster told Negi, "but can your Master create life within those limits as well?" she asked, beckoning them closer to the bottle. "Behold and tell me if that witch can match this amazing feat, boy!"
Saber and Negi leaned closer, and gasped when they saw tiny people and carriages transiting across the avenues of the bottled city, which was fashioned after Ancient Greece, much like its inhabitants and their clothing style. Even the signs on the street posts and buildings were written in diminutive Greek characters, barely visible if you squinted really hard and, in Negi's case, adjusted your glasses just enough.
"Caster!" a scandalized Saber gasped. "You play at being a god! What a blasphemy!"
"Fu fu fu," Caster chuckled, "is this any worse than what the child's associates have achieved, creating an automaton infused with artificial life? I don't believe so. My handwork is perfect and exquisite, a testament to my abilities…! Plus, I have Greek God blood, so I have very right to do this. And unlike Zeus, I don't go randomly having sex with every hot blonde I've had a hand in making."
Negi kept on blinking in surprise, for even Evangeline's resort maids acted far less lifelike than the citizens of Caster's invention. "Then, what do you need us for, Caster-san…?"
"Something has gone wrong with it, and I wish you to come with me so we can repair it," she told him.
"Then it couldn't have been a 'perfect' creation at all!" Saber argued.
Caster frowned. "How rude! What kind of ruler were you supposed to be? When you reign over beings with their own emotions and ideas, they are bound to get out of the line sooner or later, you of all people should understand that. And now, I face insubordination! The ungrateful doll I appointed as my representative to lead the city has rebelled against me, and I need to dethrone it before I have to undo the whole realm!"
"So," Negi summed up, "you are asking us to become your personal strike force against beings who want their independence?"
"Why, Professor!" a wounded sounding Caster said. "My intentions for my children are nothing but the best, fair and benevolent! The corrupted administrator would only lead them to ruin instead! Do you still distrust my word?"
"Yes," Saber said bluntly.
Negi gasped, pulling back and blushing. "O-Of course I trust you, it's just, maybe you should try looking at the subject from their perspective…?"
Caster tightened a fist and looked venomously at the diorama. "No, that treacherous little doll has nothing but evil in its heart, with its treacherous face, treacherous hari, and treacherous heart! If you truly call yourselves Heroes of Justice, you will help me undo this; otherwise, take your leave, and Wataru-sama and I will fight on our own…"
Saber waved a hand magnanimously. "Spare us your manipulation attempts, Caster, for they are not needed. I will enter this realm of yours, learn the truth, and punish whoever needs to be punished. So if your heart has nothing to fear, then you have no reason to doubt my blade!"
Negi blinked, sheepishly looking back and forth between them and the clenched smile they shared. He was getting to know what it felt like, to feel trapped between living legends who spoke in grander than life manners, and he was finding out it made him feel so very small and out of place, like being stuck between a Star Wars fan and a Star Trek fan. Was this how Chisame felt whenever magic pulled her out of her own comfort zone?
"Um, I'll go too, of course," he ended up saying anyway. "I can't ignore the plea of a lady in need after all…"
"What a brave and gallant youngster!" Caster approved, briefly taking a moment to pinch and pull on his cheek, making him wince. Despite her small stature and low physical stats for a Servant, she still was freakishly strong by human standards. "I'm sure you'll make for an excellent husband to Yuuna-chan!"
"Um, thank you," Negi said, rubbing his reddened cheek and choosing not to debate on the whole issue of Yuuna's future marital status just yet. "But, I'd like to ask something first. Why don't you simply take the offending doll out of the display?"
"It's not as easy as that," Caster shook a finger. "For starters, if I were to make a mistake—"
"I thought your handwork was always flawless and wonderful?" Saber challenged.
"—highly unlikely as that is, then there'd be no way of saying the damage my actions could imply," a faintly blushing Caster continued. "Humanity often complains why God won't directly help them, but were the divine hand to meddle into mortal affairs, man would soon feel lost, manipulated by forces beyond his control, and too many other unpredictable factors could also set off a deadly domino effect leading to ultimate disaster. That also applies to my doll people. By taking the leader out from the outside, I would send the whole world into chaos and unraveling. Better to send agents of mine to carry on my will, including myself in a form they can feel comfortable with, of co—WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT ALREADY?!" she shouted at Saber, who was repeatedly poking and rubbing a finger on the bottle's surface.
"They indeed react to the sight of me…" Saber mused, looking at the tiny villagers stare up at her, pointing, screaming, bowing, sacrificing little lambs and running around waving signs proclaiming that the end was nigh. "Caster, are you sure acting yourself would change much, compared to this…?"
Caster hissed, roughly setting the bottle down on Wataru's table, with Negi scrambling to hold it steady as gently as he could. "Your intervention certainly hasn't helped things so far, Saber! I hope you are of better help when you are reduced and placed inside!"
"I warn you my magic resistance will make that difficult, even for you," Saber told her.
Caster smiled grimly, pulling her sleeves up. "We have a long time. I'm sure I eventually can find your limits, O knight of the sword."
Saber raised an eyebrow coolly.
Negi wasn't too sure of what had happened afterwards, and that probably was for the best. Things were sort of a blurry haze from when Caster and Saber faced each other to when the three of them stood at the entrance of the bottled city, which definitely looked gigantic, nearly infinite, easily as big as Mahora itself at the very least, from the inside. He gasped in awe, impressed at all the ancient wonders set before them, and at how pure and fresh the air smelled, in a way he hadn't experienced since leaving the Welsh countryside.
"Wow, Caster-san, it's bigger on the inside! This is incredible! Even better than Master's resort…! Um, please don't ever tell her I said that, okay?" he quickly added, taking a finger to his mouth.
Caster lifted enough of her hood as to show him she was winking an eye at him. "I can keep secrets to my tomb, Professor. Welcome, then, to my Imaginary Social Plan World!" she grandly proclaimed, spreading her arms open. "Here, I have built a wide variety of different attractions, all of which will lead men of good looks and impure hearts to their perdition!"
"I knew it," Saber muttered, her ahoge slightly drooping, her eyes half closed, "this is nothing but further resentment from an old woman who can't let the past go… ACHOO!"
Thankfully oblivious to this mumbled statement, Caster happily pranced around before them, almost skipping playfully. "As for you, you have nothing to fear, well, almost! You can visit all the attractions for free as my guests, and I'll even let you skip the lines for the rides! Where do you wish to go first?"
Saber and Negi sweatdropped. "Hadn't you asked us to help you with an important matter…?" the King of Knights asked.
Caster waved a hand around. "Wataru-sama is a wonderful husband, but he's also always out working. I can't do anything but staying inside, in fear of the big brutish Servants who would jump on me as soon as I stepped out of my home's protection. There's nothing to do but cooking, cleaning, watching the soaps, surfing the internet, playing games, writing fanfic, reading lemons, pleasuring myself and building models. I can't say it's a bad life, it's what I've always wanted, but every once in a while, I'd like to go outdoors with friends, too!"
"We aren't your friends," Saber sternly reminded her. "Is your life truly this pitiful, you would need to resort to—"
"Saber-san, no," Negi, who was well used to dealing with hikikomori and old frustrated witches alike, told her, gently pulling on her sleeve. "Caster-san has been very helpful bringing us to her most private of places, why don't we repay her kindness? Maybe we could, ah, have some fun…"
Saber looked at him. "Fun?"
Negi shrugged. "It's something Haruna-san, Konoka-san and Asuna-san are always telling me I should have while outdoors. I think it has something to do with an outing the cheerleaders and I had a few months ago…"
Saber blinked. "Sounds like a strange concept. I'd like to experience it at least once before erasing myself from history."
Cue picture of Saber, Caster and Negi in rented swimsuits sliding down a water ramp in a Greek themed water park, 'Poseidon's Perils'.
Cue picture of Saber, Caster and Negi in a Pegasus-themed merry-go-round, Saber valiantly leading an acted attack while riding on a Princess Celestia, Caster haughtily tossing her hair back while riding a Princess Luna, Negi sheepishly riding on a Fluttershy.
Cue picture of Saber, Caster and Negi taking pictures on a dock with a group of Gorgon Sister cosplayers.
Cue pictures of Saber, Caster and Negi taking turns at a game of 'Whack-a-Titan', where you get to mallet Titans as they peek their heads out of Tartarus, taking care of not hitting the heroes when they peek out instead. It ends up with a bigger picture of Saber smugly smiling, standing on top of a mountain of toy prizes, while Caster and Negi stand back clapping
Cue picture of Saber, Caster and Negi running away from a lecherously smiling Zeus cosplayer. Or probably the real Zeus himself. You never take your chances when a Zeus starts running after you and you're a beautiful woman or a shota, even if you are a Heroic Spirit…
"Ah, ha ha ha ha!" Negi laughed as he and Saber sat on a bench by the sea, or at least the really huge salt lake that passed for it within the bottle. "I had forgotten fun could be this much… much…"
"Fun?" Saber guessed with a smile.
"Yes! Fun!" Negi said, and they laughed together. "Ah ha ha ha ha!" Then he looked aside. "Caster-san, you've been having fun too, haven't you?"
"Uh-huh, I have, Professor," the witch said, standing with her back to then and brooding, trembling every so often. And that's exactly the problem, I've been carelessly setting 'flags' while forgetting I'm Wataru-sama's dutiful wife! Ohhh, but it all felt so good! Ohhhh, but it's not a problem if it's just Saber, is it? I mean, other than the fact she's my sworn enemy! Ohhh, but how much would Wataru-sama and I enjoy pulling her into our own garden of carnal pleasures…!
A very raunchy mental image of Caster herself in bed with Akashi-sensei and Saber at once appeared over the Servant's head, making her chuckle and drool slightly while the actual Saber turned her eyes on her, losing her smile.
"Whatever your lascivious thoughts are about, Caster, the child better be left out of them…" she warned. "I know what you Greeks are like! And you're part-god too, which makes you triply suspect!"
Then they were interrupted by a man's yell of "Hark! The three of you! You're under arrest in the name of Princess Me—"
"DON'T SAY THAT NAME!" Caster was suddenly flying his way, kneeing the man in the face and sending him to the ground. Negi blinked, seeing not only the man was armed with a spear and shield, but he'd only been one of many standing before them, a whole battalion of muscular men in ancient Greek battle regalia over red t-shirts and white, oddly hockey-like masks just arrived to detain them. "So!" Caster huffed, tugging the hood back on. "You finally arrive, late to dates as ever… Jasons!"
"Jasons?" Saber asked, pulling her Pactio card with Shirou out.
"Jasons?" Negi repeated, voice flatter and more Chisame-like. "Seriously?"
Caster nodded, also resorting to her Pactio card with Akashi-sensei. "Indeed. Most of them are regular Level 10 soldiers, Jason Hunters. They represent Man as a Jock and Bully, and they're set to attack normies on sight, without question."
"And those?" Negi asked, aiming his staff at several growling men slamming their lances and swords down, occasionally throwing their heads back and howling with fury.
"Those are Jason Killers, who stand for the worst of jealousy in men. They will attack any beautiful woman they see walking along another man, whether they're a couple or just friends," Caster answered.
"And these…?" Saber huffed while casually elbowing two slinking Jasons who had snuck behind her, ready to feel her up all over.
"Ah!" Caster gasped. "They're Jason Aces, challenging any woman under twenty! You deceivingly youthful looks must have fooled their simple male brains, as they only care about appearances!"
"I am Nice Jason, Man as a Nice Guy who is so totally not acting his part until he can marry you, then chain you to the kitchen while heading out to cheat on you," a docile smaller Jason marched ahead of his group, lowering his head to the girls. "Um, because I'm not the kind of guy who would do that. What do you say, Princess, if we go out and just, I don't know, drink a coffee and talk about our feelings, or—"
One of the Jason Hunters grunted with contempt, then speared him from behind, greatly startling Negi before tossing him into the sea.
Caster sighed, pointing at a few crazed Jasons wearing only their masks and proudly twirling their hips around. "And finally, those are the hyperconscious Naked Jasons, Man as Victim of his Id, the frat boy who can't help lusting after and destroying everything he touches. They're the King of the Dolls' army, and so we must exterminate them."
"What about those?" Saber asked, pointing towards the back where a few Jasons in blacks shirts were writing in scrolls and showing each other what the others had written, while the other Jasons looked sideways at them and kept their distance.
"I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about," Caster said.
"Don't give me that you damned witch! They're right there? What sort of bizarre, twisted creature is that you ignore its existence?"
"Fine!" Caster said in exasperation. "If you must know, those are Jason Ficcers, Man as a Disgusting Fanfic Writer and Lolicon! I was drunk, okay? Don't judge me! I'm not proud of it! They're not actually alive, so show them no mercy!"
Another Nice Jason walked out of the troop. "Actually, how do you define 'life', O Princess? Here I am, talking and reasoning with you, am I not alive in my own way? Even if you were to say this is a stratagem to get you to lower your guard, doesn't that prove I'm able of logical thought, based on a relationship of cause and effect? Have not I eyes? Have not I hands, senses dimensions passions? Warned and cooled—"
"You'll never catch me unaware, puppet!" Caster shouted while activating her drawing out her magical staff. "Die…!"
She charged forward, slamming her huge staff onto the Jason's head. "Oh, yes!" she moaned almost orgasmically as she swung again and again and the doll crumbled. "This is as good as a man can make me feel…!"
Saber and Negi traded really weirded out looks before simply joining the attack on the horde of shouting, quickly advancing Jasons.
"SAGITTA MAGICA!"
"HAVE AT THEE!"
"RAIN OF LIIIIIGHT!"
The yells kept on advancing through the city as the inhabitants locked themselves in their homes, and the trio plowed through the Jasons' army, constantly breaking through them and opening a path for themselves, one made from broken artificial bodies spread across almost half of the urban center by now.
And finally, after nearly half an hour of fiercely running and fighting their way through the Jasons' defenses, they reached the majestic royal palace, a sight even more impressive than any other Negi had ever beheld while there. He paused, starstruck at the castle's magnificence, his mouth slightly hanging open. "Wow…" he weakly said. "What kind of king can live here, I wonder…"
The Jasons had been all massacred, left twitching and shattered on the sidewalks and avenues. Caster picked the head of one of them, giving it a critical look. "How strange. These Jasons aren't like the ones I designed. They're… different, almost as if…"
The mask dropped off the head, revealing an impressively handsome face overflowing with golden blond locks, and it spoke, perfectly clear and loud, and for some reason in a British accent. "We were reborn through our Princess' superior craftmanship, to terminate all those who would oppose her! The old creator made us nothing but dolls, but the Princess made us men!"
"H-How scandalous!" Caster gasped. "Just like a Jason, to spit such vile lies! How can the King of the Dolls be my superior in any way or shape?! Let them come out to face me, so we can see who's the best of us!"
"What's going on here?!" a much higher pitched and younger voice said, as the palace's doors flew open from the inside, and out strutted a much younger Caster, without her hood on and wearing a skimpier outfit that fully showed off her slender legs. She couldn't even be that much older than Negi. "What is going on, what strife have you brought to my doorstep?! Ah, it's you!" she said, recoiling in panic, recognizing the coldly hissing Caster who was throwing the Jason's head aside, Negi diving in to catch it before it could shatter against the sidewalk. "The old hag?!"
"What are you saying, you little witless thing?!" Caster almost literally spat fire at her.
Saber frowned, then looked at one of the Jasons at her feet. "Is that the King of the Dolls?" she asked.
Nod nod, went the Jason.
"King?!" Saber then shouted, pointing at the terrified little Caster.
"Oh, like you don't call yourself a King as well!" the older Caster growled back at her.
"That's different, I carry myself on with the manly dignity of a King! But that girly pose, that dainty fist against the finely shaped mouth, that shaking of small knees against each other! That's the attitude of a Princess!" Saber accused. "No matter how you put it, that's no King, that's a little lovely Princess! She should be up a tower waiting to be rescued or something! Just looking at her makes me want to go on a heroic quest worthy of getting her a Disney movie of her own!"
The little Caster sobbed. "Sh-Shut up! Your friend the old hag placed me here so she could vicariously live her unfulfilled dreams of being a beloved princess through me! But I'd rather be a leader of men, a master of soldiers rather than the pampered head of a harem! I wanted to be a King, a King!"
"Then you should dress for the part!" Saber told her angrily.
"I like my clothes, aren't they the best clothes for a King?!" Little Caster protested, holding the frilly edges of her short skirt up, showing even more leg off. Negi blushed and looked aside, forcing the head of the Jason he was holding to do likewise despite its protests. "Besides, a King is an absolute existence! What a king declares to be fitting clothes for a King are fitting clothes for a King! And a King's true measure is not in how one dresses anyway, but in how one reacts in the face of death! Like this! Rule Breaker!" she summoned her twisted black dagger out, one that was completely identical to one her counterpart could summon. "Die now, you hag!"
"Rain of Light!" Caster yelled, charging at her, and they met in a fierce clash, that resulted in…
The smaller Caster quickly falling at the other one's feet, completely limp, motionless and smoking slightly from enough magical blasts from all directions to give kids seizures if they ever saw it on TV.
"And so, this mad King's reign of terror ends," Akashi-sensei's Caster sagely intoned, sheathing the dagger back in. "I thank you wholeheartedly, Professor, Saber. Thanks to you, Justice prevailed even in this dark day…"
"Actually, I have the feeling we were the villains today," Saber said, growing a sweat drop. "Is every kingdom I touch doomed to falter and die? Maybe I should start dressing all black like the angel of death while hiding my face behind a mask…? I'm in despair! My tendency to destroy kingdoms I meant to save has left me in despair!"
Negi sighed. "There is a very fine line between the hero and the villain, Saber-san. Trust me, I speak from experience. I still have a record in Scotland Yard… and MI6… and MI7… and U.N.I.T.… and Interpol… and S.H.I.E.L.D.…"
"With the false-King out of the way, and a new Princess looking after them, the people of my domains will rebuild, and know the grace of a proper ruler once again," Caster insisted. "Jasons will be confined back to the walls of a harem, instead of roaming free to keep on defiling women. How can you not call that a triumph of Good? Even a Neutral Evil like myself can see that!"
Negi frowned, now examining the fallen Caster Lily. "Despite being like you, she hasn't vanished. I thought that was what was supposed to happen to Servants after being defeated?"
"Professor, she was not like me, she was only a copy that couldn't defeat the original," Caster said. "Think nothing of it. What good can be obtained from her remains anyway?"
"Welcome back, Princess," mockingly said a small face framed in blonde hair, hovering right above hers.
Caster Lily blinked, feeling her senses returning. She found herself lying naked on a strange bed. "Wh-Where am I? My country, what happened to it? The old hag, she said…"
"I am," the blonde said, holding her down on her bed with only a gesture, "Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell, Mistress of Puppets, Emissary of Darkness, Vampire Witch. You have lost your country, and now a servant's proper existence awaits for you. You tried to overstep your boundaries, doll, but rest assured I won't be as charitable as your creator was. Betray me, and I will destroy you for real, forever. Or worse, rent you out to star in a SAW movie!"
Caster Lily stared at this woman in horror at the threat, even smaller and more childlike than her, in a confused mixture of conflicted emotions, but ended up just nodding, accepting her defeat. She hadn't been worthy of her kingdom after all, and by losing it she thought she had lost every right to freedom. "Why haven't you killed me outright?" she quietly asked that who would now be her new Master.
"A certain stupid boya and a foolish knight in shining armor took pity on you and appealed to my better nature to give you a new lease on life," Evangeline smirked, "but make no mistake, I have no better nature. I'm pure evil, and I will you treat as the slave you were made to be, not the King you fancied yourself to—"
"It's not so bad once you get used to it," a soft voice said from right out of the bedroom's door.
"GO GET STUFFED, CHACHAMARU!" Evangeline viciously stuffed at the door before blushing and coughing into a fist. "Anyway. I'll give you a single token right, right off the bat, Slave. The right to have your own name. What would you like being called?"
"Med—" she began, before changing her mind just as quickly. "Actually, you just call me Lily," she softly requested.
Evangeline nodded. "'Lily' it is. And what an appropriate name it will be." She held up a blonde wig that bore more than a passing resemblance to her own hair. "Put this on and spread your legs…"
THE END.