Hey guys hope your weeks got off to a good start, I had to go back to work today after two weeks off boo! Anyway here is the third chapter this is set round about Episode 32 just before Ed and Al leave for Briggs, hope you enjoy :D

Ed's stomach was churning with nerves as he walked up the steps to Central Command. He should be used to this by now for fuck's sake! Even though he and Roy had been sleeping together for a while now he wasn't, he should be cool calm and collected (like Roy) but there was just something about him that made Ed feel like a scared little virgin every single time he went to meet him. It was just something about the hold Roy had over him.

He took a deep breath as he made his way up to Roy's office in an attempt to calm his nerves but to no avail. He still felt as if there were hundreds of butterflies flapping around in his stomach. He was just about to round the corner of the corridor that led to Roy's office but stopped suddenly when he heard voices. He couldn't risk being seen by anyone – it would raise way too many questions as to why he was coming to see Roy in the middle of the night and Ed didn't want to throw away everything because someone else found out about their relationship.

He heard Roy's voice and a second that spoke so quietly he was barely able to catch it. Ed waited, straining his ears to hear the voices, trying to find out who Roy was talking to (then he could find out how long he was going to have to wait). The voice was definitely female but it was too simpering to be Hawkeye and it didn't use enough big words to be Sheska. Unless it was someone else from Central Command that Ed hadn't come into contact with before. He kept listening but they didn't seem to be talking about work.

After a while Ed couldn't take not knowing anymore and stuck his head around the end of the corridor just enough so that he could see without being seen. Standing in the doorway to Roy's office was a glamorous looking woman with long brown hair that hung about her shoulders in loose curls. She was running a strand of it, coyly, around her finger while sticking more of her ample cleavage into Roy's eyeline.

Ed held his breath as he watched Roy smirk at her taking the strand of her hair and wrapping it around his own finger. Was this really happening? He couldn't take his eyes off the scene in front of him; like the world had come to a juddering halt. He felt his heart stop as Roy reached over and passionately kissed the woman while she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with equal force. Tears sprang into Ed's eyes as he turned away, pressing himself up against the wall of the corridor. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip in a desperate attempt not to make a sound. No! This couldn't be happening.

How could Roy do this to him? Yes they couldn't go public with their relationship and that was surely putting a strain on Roy as much as it was him but Roy cared about him... didn't he? Ed shut his eyes tightly hoping to block it out but when he closed his eyes all he could see was that woman with her arms around Roy's neck as they kissed. Ed closed his fists tightly and pressed them against his eyes to stop the tears from falling. Unfortunately that didn't prevent him from hearing the soft moaning from the woman behind.

Finally Ed heard her say 'goodnight' and heard her footsteps come towards him. He pressed himself against the wall as he had nowhere else to hide. He watched her leave, waiting until she had completely disappeared, before he turned the corner and went up to Roy's office. He stood in front of the door, debating whether or not to actually knock and confront Roy about what he had just seen or whether to turn tail and run. His body seemed to have a mind of its own as, before he realised what he was doing, he had knocked on the door and running away was no longer an option.

"Did you forget something?" Roy smirked, a bra hanging from his index finger as he opened the door. He saw Ed and raised an eyebrow at him. "Fullmetal, what are you doing here?"

"Um... you asked me to come here," Ed replied in a small voice. He should have been kicking and screaming and calling Roy out for this bullshit but he couldn't bring himself to. Something about seeing Roy with that gorgeous woman had just confirmed all the fears he had about this relationship. What could Roy possibly see in someone like him?

"Did I?" Roy asked, pocketing the bra but still looking surprised to see him. Ed nodded and Roy shrugged. "Well as you're here." He stood to one side and Ed entered the office. Ed swallowed, trying to keep himself from falling apart, as Roy closed the door and went to sit down behind his desk. He took a deep breath. He knew he had to ask but he really didn't want to. Looking more confident than he felt Ed looked up at Roy. If he looked him in the eye when he asked then he would at least come away with some dignity.

"Who was she?"

"Oh her?" Roy chuckled. "She's no one."

"If she's no one then why did you kiss her?" Ed asked. The more he stood glaring at Roy the more angry he felt, the nerves and the pain seemed to be lessening, being replaced with the blind fury that Ed was so famous for.

"Oh you saw that?" Roy asked. He didn't sound like he was sorry in the slightest and this only added fuel to Ed's fire. So Roy was going to play it that way, was he? Well then Ed was going to give back as good as he got.

"Yeah I saw," Ed growled. "You want to tell me what the hell is going on?" Roy raised an eyebrow at him.

"Not that it's any of your business but I was entertaining her," Roy said calmly.

"Not that it's any of my business?" Ed echoed.

"Fullmetal I hardly see how my personal life is of any concern to you," Roy said. This didn't make sense – the way Roy had kissed him the last time they were together had suggested that he felt something for more him that just the euphoria of when they had sex. How could Ed have got it so wrong? Finally, it seemed that Roy had gotten tired of him... unless he had never been as into their hook ups as Ed had been. He could have just been stringing him along the entire time. Ed had been painfully aware of his reputation when he had started this.

"But I thought..." he began. He could feel himself shaking, all his earlier anger and confidence gone in one fell swoop.

"You thought what?" Roy asked coldly, staring down at him. Ed opened his mouth but whatever he had been about to say died in his throat. He couldn't take Roy looking at him like that – like he was nothing. It seemed that Roy wasn't finished with him yet though. "Come on, Fullmetal, what did you expect?"

"What?" Ed asked in a small voice.

"Think it through," Roy said. "I can hardly have an open relationship with my male subordinate. You're fourteen years my junior for fuck's sake." Ed swallowed the lump in his throat and held his ground. He couldn't break down now, he refused to let Roy see him hurt.

"But..."

"Don't get me wrong," Roy said as if Ed hadn't spoken "it was good while it lasted but you were just a bit of fun when I needed sex."

"You don't mean that..." Ed said and he was horrified to find out that his voice cracked as he spoke. He couldn't help it though – Roy's words had hit him like a punch in the stomach and he was still reeling from the blow.

"Listen Fullmetal," Roy smirked at him "you're a young, willing, hot piece of arse but just because someone fucks you doesn't mean that they care about you. It's really high time you learned that."

Something inside Ed snapped. He knew how the world worked – he knew that just because Roy had been fucking him didn't mean that he cared. It didn't mean a damn thing! He had heard the rumours about Roy Mustang, the king of the one night stand, but if that was all that he wanted then he shouldn't have led Ed on. He blinked back the tears and glared at Roy.

"Don't treat me like some stupid naïve kid you can take advantage of," he snarled. "I'm not one of your air-headed bimbos. You're a manipulative cunt and you use people for your own ends. So fuck you, you can't use me anymore. I'm better than this and I deserve better than this!" Roy gave a harsh bark of laughter.

"Grow up Edward," he said. "The simple fact that you react this way shows that you are a stupid naïve child."

"Fuck you," Ed growled. It was a very childish response and he knew it but he didn't have any other come back right now. Roy snorted derisively.

"Now you're just proving me right," he said. Ed took a deep breath and glared at him, looking him straight in the eye.

"You know I could ruin your career if I told anyone about this?" he asked. Fuck! Even that sounded childish when he said it like that. He had to at least try and save face so quickly decided to try and regroup. "Now I'm not going to do that because I'm better than that."

"You really do have delusions of grandeur, don't you?" Roy asked. "And you wonder why my interest in you faded because really, what on earth could you have offered me that I couldn't have gotten elsewhere? I mean look at yourself; what chance did you think you really had with me?" That made Ed stop short. His chest tightened and for a moment he thought that his heart was going to explode. Nothing compared to this pain – not losing his limbs, not automail surgery – no amount of physical anguish he had taken matched up to hearing the man he had been in love with shining a spotlight on his biggest fears and confirming that they were all true.

Tears began falling down his cheeks before he could stop them. He was just about able to hold Roy's eye as the world crumbled down around him. He had to leave and now. If he didn't get out of that office then he couldn't trust himself not to break down and beg Roy to take back what he said. No, he couldn't do that – Ed did not beg! Not for someone as much of a bastard as Roy. He took a deep breath hoping that his voice didn't break when he spoke.

"Well I guess you don't have to worry about me holding you back anymore," he said. Before Roy could say another word he turned and left the office. He managed to hold it together long enough to close the door and round the corner before he broke into a run, tears streaming down his face and no idea where he was actually going to run to, as the rush of adrenaline left and all he felt was hollow.

Once Roy was sure that Ed had gone he got up from his desk and went to the door. He looked down the corridor and saw that he was alone. He smirked. Well that had gone better than expected. Red sparks flashed and Envy brushed his hair out of his eyes when he had returned back to his preferred form before gone back into Roy's office to lock the door from the inside and make his exit out the window, leaving the office in the condition he had found it when he came in the exact same way. That had definitely gone better than expected.

Ed was going to be sick. Just being at Central Command, with the possibility of Roy seeing the dark circle under his eyes and knowing that he was the reason why, was almost too much for him. He was so thankful he had Al with him. He hadn't told Al why he was so edgy. After wandering around for a few hours, just wandering the streets looking for an excuse not to go home, he had finally gone back home at half past three. He had deflected Al's questions easily enough and gone to bed... not that he's actually gotten any sleep at all. God, he wanted nothing more than to get this over with.

"So heading North will be interesting, won't it Brother?" Al asked, trying to lighten Ed's mood.

"I guess," Ed shrugged. He hated how unenthusiastic he sounded. Al was trying to take his mind off things, even though he had no idea what was really wrong with him. He should at least put in the effort and try to sound cheerful.

"Brother are you sure you're okay?" Al asked. Shit! Now Ed felt like a dick. He was making Al worry because he couldn't hold it together. He sighed and shook his head.

"It's nothing," he said.

"It's not nothing," Al replied "but if you don't want to tell me now I can wait until you're ready." Ed could feel a lump forming in his throat and he wanted, more than ever, to throw his arms around Al and bury himself into his armour and cry until he stopped feeling like he was going to fall apart.

"Can I tell you when we get home?" he asked.

"Of course."

"It's just that..."

"Brother you don't have to explain," Al said, cutting him off. "I know you'll tell me when you're ready." Ed felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes and the urge to just cry into Al's chest only got stronger.

"Thanks Al," he said swallowing his feelings, just until he got home and there was no chance of running into...

"Hello Colonel," Al said suddenly, looking over Ed's shoulder. Ed closed his eyes and felt all of the energy drain out of him.

"Fuck my life," he muttered. Hadn't he been punished enough for attempting human transmutation or was the universe just out to get him? He didn't even want to turn round. He didn't quite trust himself not to break down and cry or scream at him and break his jaw.

"Good afternoon Alphonse, Fullmetal," Roy say. His voice was like silk, softly running down Ed's spine. Even though he hated him for making him feel this shitty Ed still couldn't deny that Roy's voice did funny things to him. He swallowed his nerves, bracing himself, and turned to face him. God, he looked as good as even! "So I hear you boys are heading up North soon, when are you leaving town?" he asked. He was just making conversation because Al was there, Ed told himself, he didn't actually care or what to know the answer.

"At the end of the week," Al said. Roy had to make a conscious effort not to grin like an idiot. If they were leaving at the end of the week then there was a chance he could see Ed on his own before they left. It felt like ages since they had been able to get together.

"If that's the case, Fullmetal, are you busy tonight?" he asked. "I have some old reports of yours that I would like to go over with you." To anyone else it would have been a perfectly valid question (especially is they had seen the quality of Ed's previous reports) but Ed knew the true meaning behind Roy's question. He knew that meant Roy wanted sex. He glared at him. Was that bastard really going to act like nothing had happened? Did he really think Ed was so damaged he'd come running back just like that? Apparently he did.

"The fuck is your problem?" Ed shouted. Roy blinked in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"I said what the fuck is your problem?" Ed growled. "You think you can just snap your fingers whenever you want and I'll come running like your faithful little puppy? I'm not your fucking dog Mustang!"

"Brother what's gotten into you?" Al asked. Ed knew he should be reigning in his emotions but he couldn't help it; he had opened the floodgates and now he couldn't do anything to stop himself.

"Why won't you just leave me alone?" he shouted, raising his fist. He didn't care what happened he just knew that he had to do something to make Roy feel some of the same kind of pain that he was – it didn't matter if it was physical or not. He was going to get in so much trouble for this. Al caught Ed's arm just before he could land the blow.

"Brother what are you doing?" he asked. Ed didn't answer, he just looked up at Roy. He looked so confused. He couldn't work out what he had said to set Ed off, all he had done was ask if he was free later, unless... unless Ed had gotten tired of him. That still didn't explain why Ed would risk potentially his life by attacking a Superior Officer, unprovoked. He looked at Ed, who was glaring up at him. Just seeing Roy not reacting at all was only making Ed feel worse. He blinked back his tears and turned away.

"Fuck this, I'm out of here," he snarled, yanking his arm out of Al's grasp, and stalked away. Roy and Al watched him leave.

"What was that all about?" Al asked once Ed had disappeared and he felt it was safe to speak.

"I was hoping you could tell me," Roy said. "Edward could have been court marshalled if anyone had seen that."

"I have no idea why he did that," Al said shaking his head. "There's something going on with him but he won't tell me what."

"What do you mean?" Roy asked. The last time he had seen Ed he had just been his usual self. Nothing out of the ordinary had really happened and if Ed had been having doubts he certainly hadn't said anything.

"Well he left last night at about half past eleven, saying he was going out for a walk and didn't want company, and he didn't come back till nearly four. It was obvious that something was wrong because his eyes were all red. He went to bed but he didn't sleep and he won't tell me what happened to him," Al said.

Roy furrowed his brow. He and Ed hadn't had plans the previous night – he had known that he was going to be out on a street assignment so hadn't said anything to Ed about coming to the office. So what had prompted Ed's sudden, violent outburst? Roy wanted to know but there was no way that Ed would tell him. Not after he had reacted like that to just seeing him.

"Alphonse if he tells you can you let me know?" he asked. "If it's something that I can help with, of course," he added hoping to cover himself. He didn't think Ed had told Al about their relationship and didn't want to arouse suspicion if he hadn't.

"Of course Colonel," Al said. Obviously he hadn't noticed anything more about Roy's request than the fact that he was looking out for his subordinate. "I should probably go and find him before he does something else that could get him into trouble."

"Of course," Roy nodded. "Well keep me posted."

"I will," Al said "and sorry for the trouble." With that Al ran off in the direction Ed had gone leaving Roy staring after him, still reeling and wondering what on earth had just happened.

Ed folded his arms across his chest and shrunk as far into his seat as he could, scowling. It had been one of the worst weeks of his life. He had spent most of his time hiding out in his room, switching between punching things until he could no longer feel his knuckles and crying until his chest ached, only leaving when he absolutely had to. Al had tried talking to him about what was wrong but Ed had shrugged him off, saying that it was nothing and that it didn't matter. Al didn't believe him for a second, and Ed knew this, but he just couldn't bring himself to talk about it and relive it all again.

"I'm looking forward to heading North," Al said trying to make conversation. "I can't even remember the last time we saw snow, can you Brother?"

"Probably when we were kids," Ed replied flatly. He stared out of the window at the train station. He wished they would just pull away already! He wanted to stare at the countryside not all these people, especially not the happy ones. He sighed and placed his flesh hand over his eyes. He was exhausted! He couldn't remember the last time he had had a full night's sleep. He tried to sleep but whenever he did he was plagued by dreams of Roy's cold mocking gaze as he told Ed that he was nothing more than a sex toy to him.

'I mean look at yourself; what chance did you think you really had with me?' Ed took a deep breath and stared out of the window again. He did not want to start crying again. Wasn't that all out of his system yet? He was going to have to start intentionally dehydrating himself to stop himself from crying every time he thought about Roy. He sighed again, lost in his own thoughts and misery, until he felt Al's hand settle on his head. He closed his eyes and leaned against him.

"Are you going to try and get some sleep Brother?" he asked. Ed shrugged, not opening his eyes.

"I probably should," he replied.

"You should," Al stated. "You'll feel better if you get some proper sleep."

"I'll feel better when I get out of Central," Ed said opening his eyes and looking out of the window again.

"You think so?" Al asked.

"Definitely," Ed replied. The train whistle blew and it slowly began to move. Thank fuck for that, Ed thought, about time too. He could already feel himself starting to relax. "I want to put as much distance between me and this fucking city as possible."