Ginny had gotten complacent. She had forgotten how bad the nightmares could be. A few days of hard labor, then being up at dawn every morning in Egypt before exploring the beautiful country every day for a month had weakened her resolve and the lessons she had learned after coming home from the Chamber.
She'd gotten in the habit of forgoing her Silencing Charm in Egypt so her Mum wouldn't catch her casting magic underage. Since her return from Hogwarts she had gotten good at stifling her screams into whimpers when she woke from her nightmares. Combined with the bone weariness of walking and exploring a foreign country which let her sleep a few hours longer before she inevitable woke from a nightmare, she could safely forgo the Charm while in Egypt without risking waking anyone else up. When she got home, that first night back, she hadn't remembered to cast the spell over her bed.
Their morning had been so hectic, with the last-minute packing, and the scurrying about. Then they had been attacked by that reporter while in the Ministry. She had wanted a picture of the Lottery winners all done up in their Egyptian Garb, and Scabbers had almost escaped which set Ron to whinging the whole day. It had been such a frantic morning, filled with long periods of waiting and lounging, followed by short bursts of craziness, that even if Ginny had thought about it, she honestly wouldn't have thought she'd need to cast the Charm. She had spent her afternoon and evening just lounging and luxuriating in the feeling of being home.
The slither of scales on stone. The hiss from its mouth and hers. The struggle to see through her own eyes, to hear with her own ears. Thinking was like wading through a pool of water, with no land in sight. The sharp hiss and flicker of tongue that meant prey was near. A flash of frizzy hair, a short shout of surprise, then a ghost and a student lay petrified. Thwarted and starving, the beast raged and turned to her, its bright yellow eyes bringing her to her death. She couldn't control her body, couldn't turn away, needed turn away, she was going to die, she did not want to die, she did not want TO DIE!
The piercing shriek that rang through the Burrow sent her parents flying to her room.
The next day, Ginny set herself back to her old routine with a fervor. Out of bed with the dawn, back breaking labor throughout the day, down after dinner. She found any excuse she could to be out in the sun, allowing it to bear down on her, to warm her up as she sweat from exhaustion. Gardening, degnoming, weeding, home repairs. Any task her Mum set, she jumped to with enthusiasm.
After that first day, she dutifully remembered to cast her Silencing Charm before bed. She never forgot it again.
The nightmares and dreams never went away, not really. They just got fuzzier and more indistinct, and she was able to sleep for longer before it got so bad she'd wake up sweating and terrified. Sometimes, she was even able to go back to sleep a few hours after she'd woken up, grabbing an extra half hour or so before she woke for the day. Even though she returned to the realm of gasping breaths and waking whimpers rather than blood curdling screams, she still always cast the Silencing Charm
As the tasks around her house dried up to more maintenance and less intensive work, Ginny tried everything she could to keep herself occupied. She went so far as to offer to help her Mum with the cooking, which elicited a delighted squeal. Talk of "I knew you'd come 'round" and "I'm so happy to have the extra hands" flew around the kitchen as Ginny set about peeling and chopping and dicing.
Sadly, it wasn't enough.
Ginny went to sleep that night not nearly as tired as normal, and her nightmares returned with a vengeance and fury. Her terrified screams beat against her Silenced bed. Luckily, her skill with the Silencing Charm was now so great that not even a blasting erumpet's horn could break it. Her nightmares, while vivid and terrifying, couldn't make her scream louder than her vocal cords allowed.
The next day during breakfast, her Mum asked if she'd be helping with the cooking again, and Ginny brushed her off. She said she 'wasn't sure, and who knows what today would bring?'
If Ginny hadn't spent so much time in Egypt so soon, she might not have remembered what it felt like to smile and mean it. She might have had trouble mimicking it in the moment, might not have had the ability to pretend that everything was okay. But they had spent a month in Egypt, so instead of feeling forced or unnatural, her smile was light and easy as she headed out to complete 'her chores,' the ones that she regularly took care of, and the ones she started doing for Ron and the twins because it was something extra to do.
It was in the moment she felt her muscles straining as she chucked a gnome out of her garden as far as it could go. It was in the whole journey of climbing a tree to grab the apples from the very top, feeling muscles strain with each pull or push to higher branches. It was in the ache in her legs as she chased the chickens around the coup, trying to force them to eat and then back into their pens.
She couldn't help with the cooking. It just wasn't enough.
To her Mum's dismay, that afternoon she went looking throughout Ottery St. Catchpole for chores to do and errands to run. It was during one of her trips around Ottery St. Catchpole that she caught sight of her childhood friend, Luna Lovegood. Ginny found her squatting near the River early one morning, staring intently at a swirling eddy in the current, as the water flowed around a rock jutting outward.
"Luna?"
"Oh. Hello, Ginny. How are you this afternoon?"
Ginny paused for a moment, as Luna hadn't taken her eyes off of the water, hadn't even turned to look in Ginny's direction.
"I'm well, thanks. Luna, what are you up to? You're not thinking about going for a swim are you? The water is dangerous." At that point, Luna looked at her.
She then continued to look. She tilted her head slightly and squinted. Ginny tried for a smile, in a friendly sort of way, hoping her once best friend, who she really didn't even know anymore, wasn't contemplating a swim - or something worse. Ginny may not have talked to Luna in a couple of years, but she remembered well how devastated Luna was when her Mum passed away, and the people in town always talked about how crazy the Lovegoods were; who knew why they ever did anything?
Luna frowned.
"No, I think not. It's been a very long time since I've thought about going for a swim. I don't much like it these days; even in the summer, the water is too cold. I was just looking for a Gulping Plimpy. I think there's more support for them to live in still water, like ponds or lakes, but Daddy thinks running water like rivers might be best." She pursed her lips and continued. "You wouldn't want to go for a swim, would you, Ginny?"
Ginny's eyebrows shot up as she said, truthfully "No. I don't really want to go swimming, I s'pose. Hadn't really thought to. Not even got a swimsuit on. And honestly, I wouldn't go swimming in the River, that's for certain. Too dangerous." She realized she had started to babble, so instead finished off with another quick warning. She really didn't think she'd be able to jump in and save her if Luna decided the best place to look for a Gasping Whatever-it-Is was at the bottom of the river.
Luna smiled at her then, bright and earnest, and said "That's good. I wouldn't want you to go swimming in the river. It's all well and good for Plimpies, Gulping or otherwise, but I don't think it's for you."
And just like that it was as though the two, nearly three, years since they'd last talked or hung out never happened. They wandered through the nearby fields, running and joking and chatting.
Luna, with her too large skirt held up with a too large belt that needed to be wrapped around three times to fit her waist. A long, flowing shirt and her earrings made of the same small purple flower that adorned her head in a crown. Ginny in simple pants and a shirt, clothes she wouldn't mind getting dirty or ruined while doing chores.
Ginny spent an hour or three with Luna, and wanted to spend more. It wasn't perfect, and it wasn't the same. Ginny and Luna had both seen things that made the silences heavier than they used to be. There was an understanding between them that as nice as it was, everything was different now. They'd both grown up and seen some of the worst things the world had to offer. They'd both made it out the other side of something traumatic, and they were each nearly whole and intact.
But for the most part, everything was fun. They took solace in each other, in the normalcy their friendship allowed them to pretend.
As fun as it was to catch up and be with her best friend again, though, Ginny felt the day draw on and wanted to be able to sleep that night. So she gave Luna her goodbye, and invited her to dinner later that evening before heading out for more chores. She worked extra hard at Mrs. Diggory's garden to make up for lost time.
Her Mum was shocked to see an extra head at the dinner table, especially one without red hair. But it should never be said that Molly Weasley turned away a mouth to feed, and she dutifully plated up some veggies and roast for Luna, who smiled and thanked her profusely.
Luna and Ginny nattered on to each other throughout dinner. Ginny couldn't help the upturn at the corner of her lips as Luna regaled them all with stories from the Quibbler, and stories that almost made the cut, but hadn't quite. Snorcacks, Humdingers, and Conspiracies galore; through it all Luna and Ginny laughed while the rest of the family had their own conversations or looked at them queerly.
Ginny didn't care.
Percy had a look of confusion on his face, a slightly pinched look. Fred and George were staring at them like a broom crash in a quidditch match - terrifying, but impossible to look away. Ron tried once or twice to get involved, but just couldn't seem to keep up. Instead he mostly focused on his food and avoiding whatever the twins were attempting.
Ginny's Mum and Dad would look at them out the corner of their eyes. Her Dad would let out nervous chuckles whenever Luna gestured wildly with her fork, pieces of food still stuck on it. Her Mum just narrowed her eyes and scrunched up her nose taking the whole thing in.
For the first time all summer, Ginny didn't go straight to bed after dinner. Luna dragged her to the apple orchard, and they climbed up high in the trees to look out at the starry sky. Twinkling bits of the heavens smiled down at them. Not judging, not mocking, just staring.
"I'm glad I ran into you today, Luna" Ginny eventually murmured.
"Me too. I've missed having a friend." Luna said this so quietly Ginny almost missed it.
"Me too." Ginny whispered back, just as softly.
Ginny heard a rustling as Luna either resituated herself, or turned to look at Ginny. Ginny didn't turn her head to see which it was. Nothing was said for a long time.
"It's funny, isn't it?" Luna's voice broke the silence that had stretched between them. "How Hogwarts isn't all it's cracked up to be? For years and years it's all we dreamed of, and then we get there, and it's not so different or special after all. Everyone tells us it's supposed to be the best time of our lives. Our parents, our neighbors, our friends. It's not, though. Not so far, anyways."
And suddenly Ginny wanted to confess. The deepest parts of her, the parts she shied away from, the parts that haunted her in her nightmares. The cold, cruel part of her that was more concerned with how she almost died than she was about the fact that she almost killed so many people. The fear that she wasn't really so different from Tom, that there was a reason why it was so easy for him to sweet talk her and convince her and possess her.
Ginny knew that Luna saw through her fake smiles. Ginny didn't doubt that Luna had felt the cold fear and dread that clung to her soul like icicles to a roof, ready to drop and spear any unsuspecting happiness that tried to enter.
But one wonderful day would not make up for years of lost time, and though Luna was the best friend she'd ever had, they weren't so close anymore. Instead, Ginny just hummed in agreement and said:
"Not the only thing we dreamed about. I remember you made a pretty convincing Harry Potter when we had all those fake weddings. How many times did we get married?"
Luna let out a startled bark of laughter, followed by unrelenting giggles. They both let the humor overtake them, until they settled back down into a comfortable silence.
They sat like that, high up in the apple trees, with the stars twinkling down on them, the bark scratching their backs, the scent of fresh leaves and sweet apples filling their noses. They didn't do anything for another long while. Ginny was just happy to have someone who was willing to sit with her and not ask her questions about Tom. To not look at her like she was a dangerous or wild animal, or like she was a china doll that might break any moment.
"Do you still play quidditch?"
"No!" Ginny barked out harshly. "Haven't even touched a broom all summer. Forgot I used to tell you about sneaking the broom late at night. That was silly. I could have hurt myself."
"Mmmm, maybe. But what's life without a little risk? You should try it again." A deep breath. A pause. "My Mum used to say that just because we lost something, it doesn't mean we should lose everything."
Ginny very specifically did not mention or ask questions about Luna's Mum. There are topics too sore, even years later, to bring up. Ginny knew that now. She doubted she would ever feel truly comfortable talking about Tom, or the Diary.
But there was a certain level of camaraderie to their relationship now, similar but distinct from what they used to share. They're both older, more broken than they were as children. They were both too old for their ages; children's bodies with full-fledged trauma. They knew the lines they couldn't cross, and Luna was right. It was nice to have a friend again.
Late that night, she wasn't tired enough to fall asleep, couldn't help tossing and turning, and wouldn't turn the lights off because she knew that was a recipe for a terrible nightmare, worse than usual. She kicked herself for not working hard enough or doing enough chores, she dreaded the nightmares she knew she'd wake up from which would be worse tonight than normal. She couldn't quite bring herself to regret seeing Luna again, but her lack of regret didn't bring sleep any quicker.
So instead, she snuck out her window, thankful she was on the first floor, the same as she would have before Hogwarts. She cast a Silencing Charm to keep her footfalls silent, and the window quiet as she opened it. She used to be able to be soundless enough without magic, but she was out of practice and she'd rather be safe than sorry.
She unlocked the broom shed and took her regular broom, straddling it and shooting off into the sky. The wind in her hair and against her face was harsh, and cold, and brutal. She did a few slow figure eights to warm up, getting her bearings. But eventually her speed picked up and her confidence returned. After she finished running the drills she used to run, she sat on her broom looking over the Burrow's makeshift pitch. Without consciously thinking about it, she drifted higher and higher, higher than she'd ever been before. Probably as high as the school quidditch pitch.
She sat on her broom, on the precipice of a terrible decision. Before she could lose her nerve, her grit, her determination, she made her decision; she let go.
The broom didn't stutter. It didn't slowly peter out. It just stopped, no longer supporting her weight, just a regular broom tucked between her knees as she was suddenly plummeting towards the earth faster and faster, wind whipping her hair and her face, her stomach in her throat. Her body weightless, she fell, and fell, and fell, leaning forward into the drop.
Too soon for her liking, yet far too close to the ground, she pulled up, the broom taking a quick arc upwards. She was safe, and flying, and alive. She knew that it was dangerous, and it could have killed her, but even in the midst of the fall, she had the safety net of her broom. She could rely on herself. She was in control.
It was a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time, and she cherished it. She could finally, free up in the clouds on her broom, put words to the thoughts that had been plaguing her all summer that she hadn't allowed herself to define.
The Diary was scary. The basilisk was horrifying. Tom was terrifying.
But the worst part of the last year was that at the end of it all, she wasn't good enough, wasn't strong enough to save herself. She needed to be saved. She used to dream of being the damsel in distress that Harry Potter would save before they had their happily ever after. Now it was her daily nightmare.
She put the broom back and snuck back into her room. She didn't turn the lights off. And she still used her bed, blankets and pillows like a fort against the bad thoughts. She still had a terrifying dream of too yellow eyes, and shimmering scales, and screams that were immortalized on petrified faces.
At the climax of her nightmare, when she woke up screaming muffled gasps of terror, her Silencing Charm protected the rest of the Burrow from a rude awakening, as it always did. Her heart rate settled faster than normal, and she was able to roll over and go back to sleep within the next half hour. She didn't stare at her ceiling until either her eyes were so heavy she couldn't keep them open and the nightmares swallowed her again or until the sun finally dawned and she could justify leaving the comfort of her room for the light of day.
That day let her to fall into a quick routine, of waking up, doing her household chores, then meeting Luna by the river after a quick breakfast. They'd relax for an hour or two, before Ginny would be off to find chores to do in Ottery St. Catchpole. Then it would be home for dinner, where one or two nights a week Luna would join them. On the nights Luna joined them, Ginny would sneak out to spend time on a broom. Her nightmares didn't go away, but they didn't get worse either.
Eventually, the chores in Ottery St. Catchpole started to dry up. Quicker than she would have thought - apparently in a wizarding town, most people were willing to use magic to do all the household chores and yard work. Her Mum, it seemed, was the odd one out in having the kids do the chores by hand around the house.
She had helped at as many houses as she could, but many of them turned her down outright, and one of the houses in town looked nearly abandoned! She had been sure that the little village would sustain her unnatural and very un-childlike desire for chores, but the village wasn't quite as big as it had seemed to her in her youth.
So she decided to head further afield, into the great unknown; the muggle world.
Her first day back from that excursion, her Mother was furious. It didn't matter to her Mum that she and Luna now spent their hour walking towards the muggle town instead of laying down or wandering about, which meant that Ginny was never alone. It didn't matter that all the muggles she met were all incredibly kind and sweet people, who wouldn't harm a fly. None of that mattered at all.
For the first time all summer, Ginny and her Mum had a fight.
It wasn't like their old fights. It wasn't Ginny not wanting to pick up after herself, or her Mum using a pet name that Ginny hated.
This fight was mean, and ruthless, and Ginny didn't hold anything back. For two hours, they went at each other, getting louder and louder the whole while, until eventually Ginny snapped.
The house was silent in the wake of Ginny shouting "Nowhere is safe! Safe doesn't exist! I found that diary with my stuff in my room, and it got its hooks into me in Hogwarts, and there was nothing you could have done about it! So if I want to walk up the river, I bloody well will, because it's obviously not any more dangerous than curling up in my room and crying every night from the nightmares, where I might accidentally pick up another cursed object!"
They were both breathing heavily, and Ginny grimaced as she saw the stark white look of terror on her mother's face, and she realized she'd said more than she meant to.
The only words her Mother spoke, after a minute of heavy silence, were "I thought they went away?"
Her Mum looked to be on the verge of tears.
Ginny let out a sharp bark of laughter, and it sounded cruel even to her ears. She felt too much like Tom as she said "You saw what you wanted to see. Some scars never heal."
She headed to her room and closed the door, softly. She was not a petulant child, and she would not slam doors to make a point. She didn't cry herself to sleep, because she had experienced worse than a simple shouting match in the past year. She didn't forget her Silencing Charm, because she learned her lessons well.
She did cry extra hard when she woke up in the middle of the night, and it had been her Mother staring back at her in her nightmare, fear and surprise etched on her face as Ginny hissed at the basilisk to kill her, rip her, tear her, eat her.
The next morning, her Mum took her aside and made sure Ginny knew the Leg-Locker Curse and told her in no uncertain terms that 'it's only for emergencies, but if there is an emergency to use it and to run away as fast as she can.' Ginny didn't argue, because yes the world was dangerous and she knew that now, but she also knew she wasn't that strong in the grand scheme of things. The truth was that even a muggle could easily hurt a little witch like her.
But the end result was that she was allowed to walk to the nearest muggle town and look for chores. So all in all, she considered it a win.
When she finally decided to brave the muggle world, Ginny was clueless. But she mustered up the courage to watch the kinds of yard work the muggles did. There were farms which needed help, but also lots of houses which had large lawns. Apparently, muggles hated working for themselves, as many of them were happy to let her trim their lawns for them. The first house she went to had some large contraption that spit and sputtered and whirred with too much noise, and more than just a little bit of smoke. It looked like something her Dad would love, and something incredibly dangerous she wanted no part of.
The owner, a kindly older man, looked sympathetically at her cautious gaze and said "Don't you worry, dear. I've got just the thing for you." And with a wink he was off in to his shed. He came back out with a similar contraption, but she didn't need to push any buttons or pull any rope to start it up, and it didn't take any petals, or petrols, or whatever that strong smelling stuff was. All it took was her pushing it, and it trimmed the grass quite nice. There was nothing to push it forward but her, and it was so incredibly heavy. She looked up at the kind older man and beamed at him.
"This is perfect! I'll do your whole lawn, promise!" He chuckled as she went along, and she saw how he waited to make sure she wasn't going to tire herself out or hurt herself. But she was an old hand at doing chores and knew well how to pace herself. He left her be.
The lawn was done in an hour or so, and there was more daylight left. Ginny looked sadly at the machine, hoping the next house that was willing to let her help out also had one just like it. She really wasn't a fan of the loud one that sounded like a storm got pushed inside a metal container.
As she wiped the sweat from her brow, the man came back with a glass of lemonade and a smile for her.
"You know, love, I know Mrs. Wilkshire down the road probably needs a bit of a trim on her lawn as well. Don't rightly know if she has a reel mower or not. Doubt she'd mind if you used mine. Nobody says no to a bit of free or cheap help and a quiet afternoon." He gave her a wink as she gulped down the lemonade.
"You're welcome to use my mower as a thanks for mowing me lawn. If you keep mowing every week, you can keep borrowing it too. Sound fair, love?"
Ginny knew her family didn't have a lot money. And she knew full well that her Mum and Dad hated charity. As a result, she was very good at recognizing what was charity, and what was just simple kindness.
She didn't turn down his offer, even though it was mostly charity. She saw the way he looked at her old clothes, patched and resewn. But pushing that mower created a burn in her arms and legs so fierce that she just knew it was going to send her into a sleep so heavy that even her nightmares would have trouble waking her. If she was lucky, she'd sleep so deep she wouldn't remember them come morning.
She was surprised by the colorful paper bills that she started to accrue from some of the more generous people she did chores for. They had 5's or 10's on them, but that didn't mean much to her. It was paper - how in the world was it actually worth anything? She assumed they were like knuts, and the coins she rarely saw were the valuable pieces of money - but there were so many kinds of coins, and she was too embarrassed to ask anyone to explain it to her.
Still, she never asked for any of the muggle money, and she was always very thankful that she was given any at all. She kept it all tucked away in her room, in her sock drawer, in a small box she'd gotten from Auntie Muriel for Christmas two years ago. It was magically locked, and her Aunt had told her the password and said "Every girl ought to have a place to keep private things."
And for a few weeks, life was good.
It wasn't great, and it was certainly not perfect. She was just as cautious as always. But it was good enough that she started to become comfortable with it all. So of course, it didn't last.
One night while walking home a bit later than normal, a group of kids sitting near the river drinking something out of brightly colored cans called out to her. One of them got up when he saw that she was counting her paper money from the day. She wasn't certain if 35 was a lot or not, but it was for her. Most days she was lucky to make 15 or 20.
"What's that you got there, love?" She didn't mind when Mr. Bowman or Mrs. Wiltshire called her love, but she didn't much like it when this random boy did it.
"Just allowance money," she called back, and she waved it at him to show. It's not like it was a lot. Maybe if he realized how little she had, he'd just ignore her. She knew it wasn't much because the people she did chores for always said so. "I know it's not much, but take it dearie." She still couldn't figure out if the paper was like knuts or like sickles, but she was betting it was like knuts.
But the boy's eyes went wide as she waved it at him, and he said "Well ain't that a nice allowance. You sure got some nice parents, love. Hey, we got some spare beer here. How 'bout you give us some o' that cash, and we'll hook you up with a drink?"
He winked at her, and it sent a shiver down her spine.
"No thanks!"
She tried to keep walking home, but she couldn't get by. The boy had crossed her path by then and walked in her way.
He tried to grab at the paper in her hands. The other boys and the one girl they were sitting with were all laughing at him as he lunged at her, and Ginny dodged out of his way while still trying to walk away and get home.
It became very obvious that he was drunk based on how he was moving, and that awful smell on his breath that was like stale firewhiskey. He should have caught her easily, given how much longer his legs were than hers. They played keep away for a little bit, him lunging and her dodging, while she tried to get away. She hoped he'd get bored and leave her alone, but it seemed less and less likely.
Ginny finally decided that she was done hoping and started to run away in earnest. She stopped when she realized that behind and to one side of her was the river. To her other side was the rest of the group who were all laughing and cheering on their friend. In front of her was the drunk boy, who looked no older than a 6th Year student, and suddenly she felt trapped. The river was too strong for her to try and get away by swimming. She did the only thing she could think of to try and get away.
She ran straight at him.
It surprised him, obviously, as she rammed her shoulder straight into his stomach. But even slightly drunk, and even after mowing lawns and doing chores and exploring Egypt all summer, she was still just an 11-year-old girl.
So the guy grabbed onto her, and held her to him, and tried to calm her down.
"Hey, hey, girlie, is'all fine. Just give us a bit of the cash, an we'll give you a drink, and erryone will be happy, yeah?"
But Ginny wasn't hearing his words anymore, all she heard was the rushing of the water, the laughing of the group, and the only thing in her head was the feeling of I'm trapped, he's got me, I can't get away. She struggled, kicked, flailed, and he walked back to the group still holding her tight, and she desperately did not want to be there anymore.
She reached for her wand, and she got it into her hand, and she didn't think about what she was doing, or where she heard it before, but her wand flicked and she muttered "Relashio." It was merely the first thing that came to mind, and the words left her lip before she had a chance to consider them. Her skin tingled as the hair on her arm stood on end, but nothing happened. Her spell failed.
She didn't know what to do but she could feel his breath on her neck, and his arms around her shoulders, and her spell didn't work, and they were going to take her money, and they were going to hurt her, and, and, and! It was suddenly all just too much to handle, so she lashed out instinctively.
She bit his hand.
He screeched "You little bitch!" and dropped her. After all that, they had changed position. He was between her and the water, and they were both only a few feet away from the edge. She wanted to run away, but it looked like his anger and the adrenaline had sobered him up. There was fury in his eyes, and blood on his hand where she bit him, and Ginny doubted that if she ran this time that he wouldn't be able to keep up.
She was moving before she'd even realized what she was going to do.
A reassuring grasp of her wand in her hand, unseen by the rest of the group as she held it at her side. It burned in her palm, the feeling of her magic wanting to lash out.
"Locomotor Mortis." With a whisper and a twist, he could no longer walk, and it looked like he was going to trip towards her, but she bull rushed him and rammed straight into his chest. This time, he was knocked straight back, unable to keep his balance.
He fell into the river. He was shouting for help, flailing his arms. Ginny was already running away, and she heard the rest of the group more focused on getting him out of the water than on chasing her down.
She didn't look back to see if her curse kept his legs immobilized. Didn't look back to see if his friends managed to get him out of the water. Didn't look back to see what she'd done.
She was too focused on the burn in her legs, the heaving of her chest, and the coppery taste in her mouth to worry about anything else. She got far enough away to stop and calm down, and she washed her mouth out at the river.
That night, in addition to her regular indistinct nightmares about snakes, and hallways, and ink that drips like blood, there was also a roaring river and a screaming man, begging for help, as she ran away and never looked back.
The next morning, Ginny resolved herself to being extra careful and paranoid while walking to the muggle town. Luckily, she didn't find any people wandering about, and she got on with mowing quite easily. Luna noticed her reticence, but in keeping with their unspoken agreement didn't mention it.
She never mentioned to her Mum what she had encountered that day, not wanting anything to disrupt her daily activities. She needed the exhaustion and workout now more than ever, with only more uncertainties to fuel the fire of her fears. Sadly for her, things didn't pan out the way she'd hoped.
She woke up one morning to her Mum worrying at her apron as Ginny worked on her breakfast. As she got up to do her chores her Mum stopped her.
"Ginny, dear. You've been working so hard, lately. Don't you think it might be nice to take a break?"
Ginny's entire body clenched.
"I think the work's been good for me, yeah? Idle hands, and all that rot! You've always said you wished we were less lazy." She smiled, and it only felt the slightest bit brittle.
"It's just that, you're not home so often any more, love. Would it be so bad to take a few days off? Maybe help me with the cooking again, or the washing up?"
The tremor in her voice to match the wavering in her eyes. Ginny's Mum turned around and started chopping something, refusing to meet Ginny's eye.
"What is it, Mum. What's the real reason?"
"There's a… well, there's been-. Oh you don't need to worry about it! I just need you to stay home with me, and not go wandering about the countryside where anything could happen at a moment's notice! I worry about you all day, and then I barely get to talk to you at all when you get home! What happened to my little girl?"
Her Mum was visibly crying at that point, though she tried to hide the tears, and Ginny wasn't sure how to react. Anger, at being coddled? Annoyance at being told what to do?
Fear, that her Mum may have heard about the boy and the river?
Unsure what to feel, Ginny lashed out.
Their second argument of the summer, a record low to be honest, started out calmer than the first.
"Your little girl is right here, Mum. She's just not so little anymore." The tears in her Mum's eyes were more noticeable at that her Mum stopped trying to hide them as she let out a soft sob. Ginny wanted to feel terrible for being cruel to her Mum, but she couldn't. She needed her chores more than anything else. They helped her cope, helped keep her so tired she couldn't think. There was nothing more important than not thinking about the shadows in her past and the ice in her mind as she laid down at night to sleep.
"Today. Just… stay home today, love, and I promise your father and I will explain it all tonight. To all of you, at once. I didn't want to, but I don't know if you'll stay home otherwise. Please, just promise me today?"
Ginny sighed. She could handle one day, she supposed. Her Silencing Charm was strong enough to handle it, she was sure of that at least. She supposed she should make sure her summer homework was done anyways.
The day was long and torturous, filled with ink stains and cramped hands, but eventually her Dad came home and her Mum had a whispered, furtive conversation with him. After dinner he rounded them all up in the living room, and told them the bad news, the reason they'd have to stay close to the house from now on.
Ginny was reminded, rather harshly, of the fact that there were more important things than sleeping mostly through the night. Like safety, and security, and her very strong desire to not die. All of which became very relevant when her parents told her that Sirius Black was on the loose.
Being stuck at home was torture. It was made worse by the fact that they were all stuck in the cramped house, together, for most of the day. Ginny had taken over all the chores for her four brothers, but was still done by early in the afternoon. That left her hours to her own devices.
Homework and remedial study took up some of that time. Ginny found that on some topics from the last school year, she had spaced out; likely Tom's influence.
As she worried over first-year topics that seemed familiar but she just couldn't recall, she listened to the silence in the house, the only sounds penetrating her studying were the click of the clock on the wall, and the hum of her Mum in the kitchen, lightly wafting into the living room. A silent Weasley household was a rarity, but with the somber mood it was a more common occurrence. Ginny relished in it.
What worried her more than what she couldn't remember were the topics where she had second, or even third year level knowledge. She chose to ignore those instances, and deal with it later. Any time she read one of those topics the clock's ticking seemed more ominous, like it reverberated through the house more strongly, and her Mum's humming seemed further away.
Writing letters to Luna took up even more time. She couldn't go visit Luna anymore, to keep her Mum happy, but they still wrote letters constantly. Or, as constantly as she could having to share Errol with Fred, George, Mum, and Dad. Percy had his own owl, a gift for getting Prefect the summer before, and Ron was adamant that "writing Harry would do more harm than good."
But for the most part, Ginny was intensely bored, with nothing to keep her body or mind occupied. Her birthday came and went with little fanfare, although she appreciated the effort her Mum put into her cake, and the fact that Luna was allowed to visit.
But her Mum eventually noticed the bags under her eyes beginning to get darker, and the way she nearly fell asleep into her breakfast. Ginny could see the worry etched onto her Mum's face in the lines of her strained smile, or the crow's feet near her eyes.
She could hear her Mum and Dad argue late at night in the kitchen. Her room was right near it, on the first floor. She couldn't help but wonder why they never thought to use a Silencing Charm.
"Can we really afford it right now, Mollywobbles? And she's been doing so much better lately, that trip to Egypt helped so much…"
"Of course she's not better! She's gotten worse! You see how she spaces out, dear, and just stares right through us all? She needs to talk to somebody. I don't… I won't have her become like her friend, the Lovegood girl. She's darling, Luna is, but Xeno lost it a bit when Pandora passed, and Luna was the worse for it. It'll make things a bit tight this year, but the book list is back to normal, and we'd planned on having to buy as many books again as last year. I'm sure Bill or Charlie wouldn't mind us using their old textbooks as well, if we have to."
"Of course, dear. I'll book an appointment in the morning. I just hope you're right that it's the best thing for her."
So she wasn't surprised that in two days, Ginny found herself sitting in the apple orchard across from a very pretty brunette named Ms. Tipple. She had a gentle look about her and was so thin Ginny was afraid a stiff breeze might blow her away. Ginny was torn between refusing the help and stubbornly proving that she was fine, thanks very much, or attempting to open up so that her parents weren't wasting their money.
The silence that hung between the two of them was thick and heavy, until Ms. Tipple eventually piped up with "Do you like living near an apple orchard? I imagine I'd love it, although I might get sick of eating so many apples, I suppose."
Ginny was stunned silent for a moment. Weren't they supposed to talk about her feelings, and other nonsense like that? She scrambled to answer when she realized she'd stared at the woman too long without saying a word.
"It's not so bad." She ventured. "Mum's apple pies are the best, really, so that makes up for how often we have them."
"I suppose it would. I grew up in the city, mind, and I always used to be jealous of my friends who lived in the country. Some of them were jealous of me right back, but I couldn't see the appeal. They saw large buildings and being a five minute walk from everything imaginable! I saw crowded streets and the smell of sewage." She wrinkled her nose at the memory.
Ginny let out a small giggle, mostly due to her confusion at this bizarre conversation. It was far too mundane compared to what Ginny had been imagining talking to a Healer would be like. "I guess it's all about perspective, yeah?"
"Yeah." Ms. Tipple smiled for a moment, then continued. "Do you have any pets?"
For an entire hour, their conversation carried on like that. Simple and meandering, Ms. Tipple almost reminded Ginny of Luna. The way she would 'hmmm' in response to something, or randomly change the topic. It was soothing, almost.
"Well, that's nearly our hour then. Just one last bit, and you really and truly don't need to agree to this. But I am required, by oath, to ask if you would consent to a mind scan so that I might gain a more accurate magical understanding of the state of your mind space and mental acuity in the current moment." She paused and leaned in to whisper "That's an exact quote out of my textbook."
Ginny desperately, vehemently, strongly wanted to say no. Her mind was hers, hers alone, and she'd never let another person in! But her parents had spent so much money on this already…
"How many more sessions do you think we need to cure me?"
"Oh, honey, you'll never be cured." The words speared through Ginny like an icicle through her heart and they sucked the air right out of her. "For people who experience trauma like you have, it never goes away. It stays with you. I could obliviate you, steal the memories away, but the after effects of them would remain. You don't get cured. You grow. You learn. You cope. And one day, maybe, you'll go a whole day without thinking about it. And if you're lucky then soon after it'll be two days. Then a week. Then a month. But it will always be with you, and always be a part of you. Don't try to cure it; don't try to run from it. Try to heal from it, to move and grow into a stronger version of yourself."
Ginny was floored as Ms. Tipple continued speaking.
"You're doing the best you can, under the circumstances. Maybe not in the healthiest way, but it's likely the most effective for the moment. Anything I tried to do to change it might negatively affect your recovery. Your parents said your nightmares are almost completely gone, and that you don't have any trouble going to sleep anymore? They said you ran into a small cursed artifact, and that they were afraid of how it's affecting you. Your parents are worried that you aren't completely healed yet, but it's only been a few months! This recovery will be a long road for you. It will be period of self-discovery! A chance to grow, and to learn. Coming into contact with a dark artifact is terrifying, surely, but it's not entirely uncommon. You're dealing with it by being active, right?" Ginny could only nod along with her, dumbstruck as she trailed ahead like a train with no brakes.
"Then the only thing I can see is to find a way to be active while not being able to leave the house. Workout routines? Maybe try and, I don't know, learn a martial art? Do quidditch drills before bed? If you're willing to try it, I always suggest meditation, but I'm not sure most meditation techniques would work for you. You've got to sit quietly and not move for long periods of time."
Ginny paused for a short while, taking in the onslaught of information.
"I think," she began "that I would rather you didn't take a peek at my mind. And thanks very much for your suggestions. I… I really appreciate them."
Ms. Tipple winked at her as she got up. "Good choice, love. I really don't think that taking a peek in there is the right way to go. They trained us in it a bit in my Healer Apprenticeship, but I was never the best at it. Let's go talk to your parents, yeah?"
Ginny tried not to see the relief on her Dad's face as the Healer recommended that Ginny just be left to her own devices, to allow her to heal naturally. Her Mum's lips tightened when the healer recommended allowing Ginny to go flying before bed but nodded her head curtly.
Ginny tried all of the recommendations. Meditation didn't do anything for her; sitting around and being quiet while trying not to think was terribly boring, and dangerous - a few thoughts that didn't feel like her own would slip in and she quickly gave up on meditation. She didn't know the first thing about learning a martial art. But flying before bed, running sprints both across their makeshift quidditch pitch in the air and on her feet across the ground, that helped a bit. And doing laps around the Burrow before doing so many push ups and squats and pull ups in her room that her body felt like it was burning from inside out multiple times a day, all of that helped too.
Soon the bags under her eyes were almost completely gone, and any time she caught herself spacing out, she was doing more laps or workouts or anything physical so she could focus on the pain in her muscles rather than the fear in her mind. It wasn't perfect, but it was tolerable.
All too soon, it was the last day of summer, and the whole Weasley Clan plus Luna met Harry and Hermione in Diagon Alley for last minute shopping. Ginny shrugged off her Mum's attempt to buy new (second hand) clothes, as most of hers still fit fine, and anyways she and Luna were nearly the same size.
Hermione got a mean looking kneazle/cat hybrid, and Ginny chuckled as it eyed Ron's rat hungrily. Ginny snuck away from her family at one point, under the guise of looking at something with Luna for her Dad, to go to Gringotts. Her Mum thought she was one shop away while she was all the way down the alley, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.
"I'd like to exchange this money, please." She held out the stack of paper muggle money, hoping beyond hope that it might equal at least a few galleons. If they were like knuts, she'd be lucky to get one!
She was shocked when she was handed back almost 40 whole galleons!
She walked out in a daze, thanking her lucky stars for all those crazy muggles. She very carefully kept her pouch of gold coins hidden from everyone except Luna, who wasn't even phased by that exorbitant sum of money.
The day waned, and they all spent the night in the Leaky Cauldron.
She heard Ron say something like "crazy witch worked like a Hufflepuff all summer long - wouldn't give it a rest! At least she helped with my chores though" as he admired his brand new wand and talked to Hermione and Harry about his summer. Ginny wasn't even offended by the comment. She just cast her Silencing Charm and headed to sleep.
The next morning was a mad dash to finish packing and get in the car. Once they were finally in and on their way, they ended up turning around way too many times. But then she was there, staring at the Hogwarts Express, shimmering scarlet in the sunlight, steam streaming into the air, students standing all around. She took a deep breath, hugged her Mum goodbye, grabbed Luna by the hand, and thought to herself I'm not ready yet.
She stepped onto the train anyways.
A/N: Alright folks, we have officially left the realm of what I have had beta read with the posting of this chapter. This chapter, and every subsequent one, has only been read and edited by myself. I'll do my best to keep up the quality of writing! Thanks so much for reading!