3. Living without her

"Daddy…Daddy…" Eve yelled but Ares's mind was just not there… "Father!" she shook him, eager to get his attention.

"Eve…sorry sweetheart…" he said, finally looking at her, caressing her hair. "Where is your brother?"

"He is still sleeping…Daddy, how is Mommy?"

He only sighed, hearing his daughter's worried tone.

He wanted to tell her that her mother was feeling better but he knew it was just a big lie…Xena wasn't better, on the contrary, she was even worse. One week had passed and she was getting more depressed each day…she stubbornly refused to eat and…she had practically given up living, slowly killing herself instead.

"Eve…Mommy needs some time sweetie…" he replied, and despite the fact that she nodded bravely, he could see that she wondered just how much time.

"I miss her daddy." I miss her too, he thought.

All of them tried everything to bring her back from that state but not even Eve and Adam could do that…She simply refused their touch and both of them felt a little bit abandoned but luckily they understood that for now their mother needed some space…just for a little while- at least that was what Ares, Gabrielle and Cyrene were hoping but day after day they were more unsure.

"Aren't you hungry?" she asked taking a seat at the table and serving herself from his father's plate.

"I was…" he smiled. "You can have some if you want…I think I'll take a walk…"

"Where you always go?" she asked.

"Daddy…"Adam came running in his father's arms.

"Hi there big guy…" Ares kissed his son on the head, glad that he had interrupted their little chat, because the last thing he wanted was to tell Eve where he was going…She was right though…He was going to go see his daughter, her grave that is, the only place where he could think things through, and calm down…That was what he had done all those days and he felt bad for not being there for his children but with everything that had happened…it was simply too much…

"Are you hungry?" he asked his son, kissing him on the cheeks. Adam just nodded happily.

As he started to prepare their breakfast, he heard the door shutting loudly and Gabrielle came towards them. He only needed to see her face to know that Xena had once again refused to eat. Frustration rose inside him just like a volcano on the verge of exploding. He let down the knife he had to cut bread and took the plate from Gabrielle's hand without saying one word.

"Ares…" she yelled behind him, but he preferred to ignore her. He was furious.

"Gabby…?" Eve questioned, casting a frightened glance her way.

"It's alright sweetie…Daddy will try to convince Mommy to eat, ok?" Eve had tears in her eyes but she didn't let them fall, not wanting to make Adam cry too. They both understood that their sister was being looked after by angels in the heavens, with their brother Solan but they could not comprehend why their mother could not accept it…the baby was fine and in good care just like Gabby had told them.

"Ok…what are you two eating?" Adam asked, looking at his sister.

"It's ok…" She kissed them both on the head and started making breakfast for them. It was hard not to cry, even for her; that was what she had done all this time whenever she went to sleep at night but not in front of them, not now…

xxx

Even if Ares was angry with the whole situation and furious at her for not cooperating, for not wanting to live…live for them all- when he saw her there, he just couldn't yell at her. She had her back turned at him, looking on the window…He approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her and he called her name, but as always, there was no answer. He received instead complete silence…and that lost look when her eyes met his. But sometimes he thought that he saw through him, not him.

He turned her to face him just to find that stupid, little doll in her arms…again…She found it in the room, Eve had probably let her there once and now she thought that it was her lost baby.

"Xena…I brought you something…" He tried to sound coolly. "Look…"

He had the plate in his hands now, doing his best to smile at her.

She took a sit on the edge of the bed and started to sway that doll that he hated so much from one side to the other. He took a deep breath and knelt in front of her.

"Just stop Sweetheart!" he demanded, putting his hands on her thighs, making her stop.

"You need to eat something Xe…" She was so skinny, dark circles around her eyes…he could barely recognize her anymore. He brought a spoon to her face but she didn't open her mouth.

"Ok…let's try it one more time." he encouraged.

This time she let the doll fall. Right when he thought that he finally succeeded though, she took the plate from him and threw it on the floor. He got up and, barely controlling his anger, he rushed out of the room slamming the door shut behind him. Xena winced at the sound and lifted her eyes looking sad at the door.

xxx

"Daddy…!" Eve jumped from her seat when she saw Ares coming out of the room but he was too upset to listen to her so he went out of the house to take a good gulp of fresh air.

"Eve…" Gabrielle called. "Come back…!" But the little girl ran after her father…Adam followed her of course. Gabrielle wanted to stop them but thought that maybe they needed some time alone with Ares so she let them.

What Gabrielle didn't know was that Ares wasn't on the porch calming his nerves…he had left town and headed for the forest to his daughter's grave.

"Eve…Daddy is gone…"Adam added sadly once they were out.

"Yeah…but we can follow…Look!" she said, glancing down at the footprints with a wicked smile on her face. "We know how this is done…I know…I learned from mom." she added, sounding pretty sure of herself.

"But how about Gabby…she would never let us…"

"That's why you are going to use them…."

"What?"

"Use your powers…" Adam cast her an incredulous gaze.

"But Daddy said not to… …It's a secret Eve. What if someone sees us? " he added in a hushed voice.

"Adam…There's no one here but us. Plus, I have an idea that can bring Mommy back. Just help me, please!" Eve looked with puppy eyes at her little brother.

"But I don't know if I can…I didn't practice anymore since we came here."

"Of course you can…I know that…"

He gave her an unhappy gaze but then he concentrated really hard. Out of nowhere a copy of them appeared…an illusion. Eve just smiled and placed a grateful hand on her brother's shoulder and kissed him on his forehead.

"See…? You can do it even without daddy's help."

"But will it last?"

She didn't answer…it didn't need to last long, just long enough so they could leave.

Adam still wasn't thrilled about the idea. His powers were frightening to him, not being able to understand where they came from.

He woke up one day because of a nightmare that he had had but when he opened his eyes and saw all those things around him floating in the air he got even more scared. Next to him was his father, sleeping peacefully so he just touched his arm with fear in his eyes… things couldn't come down on the ground and it was freaking him out. Ares opened his eyes and when he saw his little son's face he got up in one instant and looked around him. He could not believe it…he thought that Adam possessed no powers at all but apparently, he was wrong.

"Adam…Look at daddy…"Adam shifted his eyes and looked at his father and then, suddenly, all those things found -with a loudly thump- the ground.

"What is it?" Xena got up fast and rubbed her eyes.

"Nothing…Adam had a nightmare…"his father covered up.

"Are you ok?" She asked in silence her son, not wanting to wake Gabrielle and little Eve. Adam only nodded but panic was still in his eyes.

"It's ok Xena…I've got this!" Ares caressed his son's back and Xena turned to her bedroll and soon sleep took over her again.

Ares took his son in his arms and left camp so he could calm him down.

"Adam…don't panic son…I will explain it to you…Did you see Dite's powers…? She is a Goddess just like daddy was. Now you are my son so you have some of those powers too. I will teach you to control them, ok?" His son nodded and Ares just smiled and kissed his forehead...

"Don't tell anything about this to mommy ok…?"

"But why?"

"First, you must control them…then we will tell her. Deal?"

"And Evie? Can she know?"Ares wanted to say no but his daughter was already there, more awake that he was in fact.

"Know what?" she asked.

"Eve…"

"This…"Adam said and then lifted his hand and the very next second, Eve was floating in the air. "How can I stop it Daddy?"

"Just lose your focus…I will catch your sister." Adam did as told and reverted his eyes to a tree, his hand going down…

"Wow…"

"Eve you can't tell Xena…Your brother must learn how to control it first. It's very important guys ok?" She nodded and looked excited at her brother.

"And…what other things can you do?" Her brother just shrugged his shoulders.

About half a year had passed. Since that day, Ares would train with him and Eve frequently. Today was the first time Adam used his powers without his father's help and inside him he was really afraid even if he kept it for himself.

"How much further?" he asked his sister after awhile.

They were deep in the forest and it was giving him the chills.

"Adam…you know this takes time…" Eve defended herself but truth was that she had lost the trail some time ago. He just closed his mouth and kept walking.

"Eve I'm hungry!" her brother added after some time; his stomach growled to make his point.

"Can we find a spring to catch fish…you know I'm good at it!" Adam added with enthusiasm.

"No…We must find Daddy first!"

"Ok."

Soon, light became dark and the cold of the night was beginning to settle too.

"Eve…I'm cold!"

"Adam…I'm sorry but I think I lost it…"

"What?! What are we going to do?" Adam asked, obviously nervous.

"I don't really know but at least we are together." she said, hugging her brother who was shivering from the cold air of the night and she looked into the dark woods…The scenery was indeed frightening.