Why someone would murder a 23 year old professor was beyond me. Maybe he delivered one too many lectures on the Boxer Rebellion. Stranger things have happened in this town.
My first stop was at the City Morgue. It was 11 AM. Walking up to the building, I saw my old adversary; it was Lt. Washington.
"Spayed" Washington said as he saw Sam "What brings you here? Trying to find a client"
"Sure lieutenant" Sam said sarcastically "He's the one your blue boy shot in the back for jaywalking"
"Watch it, Spayed" said Washington "I still have your license under investigation"
"At least I know it's still safe for a while" said Sam.
"Spayed, don't push me" Washington said as he walked away.
"Wouldn't dream of it, lieutenant, have a nice day" Sam said as he walked into the building.
The lieuenent was still saying goodbyes as I walked into the morgue. I spotted the coroner, Burt Fleebish.
"Spayed" he said as he saw Sam "What brings you here?"
"Hey Burt, I need to see a body" said Sam.
"Who doesn't, eh, Sam?" Burt half-joked "Who's the guy?"
"Professor O'Tabby" Sam answered.
"Oh yeah, that guy" said Burt "Nice guy"
"You knew him?" asked Sam.
"Not really" said Burt "My kid attended his class at St. Morris. Really liked him too. Not too big on his lectures on the Boxer Rebellion, though"
I could tell that Burt sorta liked the guy by the way he pulled out the drawer with a stiff. O'Tabby looked like he had just lost a wrestling match with the Maulers of the Midway.
"When's the autopsy scheduled, Burt?" Sam asked Burt.
"What autopsy?" asked Burt.
"His wife said it was murder, Burt" Sam replied.
"Sam, the man died in a car accident" Burt remarked.
Looking down at O'Tabby's remains, I noticed some yellowish-brown coloration on his chest and stomach.
"Hey Burt, you got any explanation for this?" asked Sam.
"Any kind of fluid from a car can create a stain like that" Burt responded.
"Do you have his clothes or any item that he had when he was discovered?" asked Sam.
"Sure" Burt said as he took out a box with O'Tabby's clothes.
I searched through the box looking for anything that suggested murder. Right now, it looked like poor O'Tabby just had a bad break on the mountain. His shirt was about the only thing that was still recognizable. I noticed that the yellowish-brown stains were in the same location on the shirt, as they were on the body. I knew I saw stains like this before, but where? Maybe something would come to me later.
There was a curious little stone on the shirt. It was a very colorful stone on one side; almost as if it was painted.
Just then, the phone had rang. Burt went to answer it. While he left to answer the phone, I put the stone into my pocket. I don't why, I guess I just really like stones.
"Is there anything else you need, Sam?" asked Burt.
Sam replied "A clue, a motivation and a murderer. Goodnight Burt"
"Uh, Sam" said Burt.
"Yeah?" Sam asked.
"It's noon at best" Burt remarked.
It took me an hour to drive to the scene of the accident. I didn't know what I was gonna find there, but I'd at least get a breath of fresh air and I could put the car on the expense account. It seemed I wasn't the only one there.
"Taking a nature walk, Tanya?" Sam asked as he stepped out of his car.
"Sam" Tanya gasped as she saw him "You startled me"
"I was trying to keep my eyes on business, but I noticed the lovely view" Sam told her "One word of advice sweetheart; never return to the scene of the crime"
"I was hoping to find a reason for my husband being here last night" said Tanya.
"What kind of reason?" Sam asked Tanya.
"I don't know" Tanya shook her head "A clue of some sort"
"I'd understand if you were here to cover your tracks" said Sam.
"Are you saying that I murdered my husband?" asked Tanya.
"Nothing personal doll, it's just business" Sam replied.
"Oh, Sam" Tanya whispered as she started sobbing.
I hate it when they do that. I stood there, Tanya's mascara dripping on my wingtips and me an hour from the nearest pot of coffee.
"Come on Tanya" Sam said as he took her hand "Let's find a decent diner"
We arrived at the diner and started to talk about the case.
"So why do you suspect me of murdering my husband?" Tanya asked Sam.
"I suspect everybody, baby" Sam said as he handed her a list "Here's a list of suspects"
"Sam, you're name's on this list" Tanya pointed to a name.
"I don't remember what I did last Friday, Tanya" said Sam "Therefore, I don't have an alibi"
"You must be a very lonely man, Sam Spayed" said Tanya "That's so sad"
"You could fix that Tanya" Sam remarked.
"What're you saying, Sam?" asked Tanya.
"Do I have to spell it out?" asked Sam.
"Go ahead" Tanya responded.
Sam cleared his throat "Y-O-U C-O-U-"
"There's a lot you don't know about me, Sam Spayed" said Tanya.
"Well, you look good and you dress nice" Sam said as he pointed to her.
"But, what if I did murder my husband?" Tanya asked as she twirled her hair "What would you think of me then?"
"I'd wait for you to get out of jail, baby" said Sam "It's not like my calendar's back. After all, how long can a murder sentence be? Thirty, maybe forty years?"
Tanya reached for some sugar.
"I'll get it" said Sam.
We both reached for the sugar at the same time, when we found out that our hands were touching. Tanya gasped silently and walked right out of the diner. The classiest dame had just walked out of my heart, but not out of my case.
Author's Note:
Well, it would seem that Tanya didn't murder Professor O'Tabby. But who did? Looks like Sam will have to investigate some more if he wants to crack this case. Now, let's go back to US Acres and see how Orson's campaign is doing.