This chapter proved harder to write. From the moment I submitted the other chapter I wanted to write this but every time I tried I just couldn't do the storyline justice but hopefully this will be okay. This chapter takes an odd turn but just stick with it, I liked the direction it took. Also as a side note, I desperately hope the Glee writers don't write Sam out of next season like they did at the start of 3. He's been severely underused but he has so much storyline potential.
Disclaimer - I do not own the characters and this is purely fictional. The right for the characters remains with the creator and I in no way suggest any sort of ownership of them. Fiction is just for fun.
Lemon Juice – Chapter 3
The Lima Bean was Blaine's go to hang out spot. He'd been going there since joining the Warblers and he didn't want to change. There was a certain feel about coffee shops that made Blaine feel like he wasn't as young or as naïve as people thought him to be.
It was no surprise then that when Kurt had arranged Sam and Blaine's "date" that the Lima Bean was the first place to be suggested. Sam didn't want to argue, he couldn't deal with arguing with Blaine about where they were going to go. He would have preferred to avoid the Lima Bean if he could have though because after all it did have the complete feel of 'Kurt and Blaine's special place'. It was their place, before Blaine came along no one ever really went there.
The lights at the coffee shop were imposingly bright, so much so that Sam wanted a table by the window just so he could get some natural light shining through instead of being blinded by the fluorescent ones they installed.
Sam had never felt lonelier as he sat and waited for Blaine. He'd already ordered himself a drink and was sat at the table on his own. What made things worse was that it wasn't an actual date. If it had been an actual date then Sam wouldn't have been so depressed sitting there waiting, but as it was he was just having coffee with his friend's boyfriend. Kurt's boyfriend. The words still ached in his head every time he thought that Kurt wasn't available anymore. If he'd just been man enough to tell Kurt how he felt at the time then everything would have been different. So much different.
"Someone sitting here?" The voice was unmistakably friendly and was grating on Sam's nerves more and more every time he heard it. Blaine had arrived.
"Of course not." Sam chuckled slightly, trying to hold his displeasure of Blaine inside. "Take a seat." Blaine had already ordered. Sam must have been too lost in his own mind to even realise he walked in. Could Blaine tell what Sam daydreamed about? That every time he saw Kurt or Blaine he had flashbacks to himself and Kurt making out?
"So this is nice." Blaine smiled as he slipped into the seat and took his coat off. His red bow tie was prominently displayed against a white shirt and it made Sam's stomach turn. How could Kurt be into this guy? He dressed like a child going to a wedding. Sam's style was much more laid back and easy to maintain. A simple pair of worn jeans and whatever t-shirt he first got hold of. It sounded lazy but the look worked for him. He was the typical All American Boy – only he liked other boys. "I've been worried about you." The tone actually took Sam by surprise. There was something odd about Blaine's voice. Something wasn't present that Sam hadn't been expecting. It was concern. But not just concern. Genuine concern.
"It's difficult being away from the family. I feel like I don't belong everywhere I go." He hadn't expected to open up so quickly and so much to Blaine but he had something about him that meant whatever you told him would stay safe. Sam wasn't just talking about missing home either. He wanted to tell people the truth. Everyone still thought he was this straight jock guy who was chasing after Mercedes but he wasn't. He was a long way from that.
"So you're just missing home?" There was emphasis on the word "just" as if Blaine knew more than he was letting on.
"What's Kurt said to you?" Blaine's face immediately went from one of concern to one of a quizzical nature. Sam realised he'd made a mistake and immediately regretted everything. Blaine didn't know anything, he was just asking polite questions to get to know him better and now Sam was about to ruin everything. He'd worked so hard at keeping his personal life personal and while it was painful at times it was worth it a lot of the time. Imagine what people would say if they found out that the picture perfect boy next door Sam Evans actually liked guys.
"Is there something you want to talk about Sam?" Blaine's next move was unexpected. Sam had concluded that most of Blaine's moves were unexpected but this one really shocked him. He reached across the table and took hold of Sam's hand. Blaine's hands were warm, probably from the coffee, and felt safe. Sam couldn't remember the last time he'd felt safety like that.
"I'm gay." The silence felt like it went on forever. In the few seconds that no one spoke Sam could hear every conversation going on around him. Every screech of a chair sounded louder and every grind of the coffee machine seemed to echo through the coffee shop like a siren. He shouldn't have said it.
"How long have you known?" As soon as he heard Blaine speak he realised everything was going to be easier. Blaine was probably the most understanding person when it came to the subject of sexuality.
"When I transferred. I'm not sure what happened. I think I'd always known because it wasn't just that I woke up one day and started liking guys. I'd always had an appreciation for the way guys look but I thought that was just in a jealous kind of way, that maybe I wanted to be them. Then when I transferred it kind of hit me that I wasn't jealous of guys, I was attracted to them." Sam held his tongue and didn't want to continue the story. He didn't want to reveal to Blaine that he realised he wasn't jealous of guys when he felt an attraction to Kurt. Or that his suspicions were confirmed when he made out with Kurt. It's not something you tell their boyfriend.
"And you're happy?" Damn Blaine, why did he have to be so nice all the time? Couldn't he had stormed out and declared that there wasn't room for another gay guy around here? That would made it easier to hate him and Sam's mind really wanted to get back on track to hating Blaine right about now.
"No." He didn't know why he said it. Wouldn't things have been so much easier if he'd just said that he was happy and that now someone else knows that it makes things all that much easier for him? But apparently Sam's mind wasn't working with him today; it was throwing him into traffic every time a question was asked.
"Anything else you want to get off your chest?" No. God no. There was no way he was going to say yes to this question. Instead he stayed silent. "Is it a guy?" He should've just said no. Silence was like screaming yes at the top of your lungs. "Someone from Glee?" Stop asking questions that he can't answer.
Sam couldn't lie. He had never been a good face to face liar. Yes, if people didn't ask then he could pretend it wasn't true, but if someone asked him a direct question then he couldn't lie. "Will you tell me if I guess?" Sam didn't need to. He'd be able to guess as soon as he said the name. "Finn?" Sam shook his head, relieved slightly. If Blaine was on that track then he wasn't going to guess any time soon. "Puck?" Continuing with the jocks, that was good. "Rory?" There weren't that many guys in Glee club and Sam was desperately running out of time to think up something to say instead of "yes I have a crush on your boyfriend."
"I don't think you're going to be able to guess it." Sam mentally slapped himself when he heard the words escape his lips. You don't challenge someone if you want them to stop guessing.
"Artie?" He'd stopped with the jocks, which was understandable because there weren't many in Glee club. Rory had been the sign that Blaine was getting a feel for which kind of guy it might be. "Do I get a clue or should I keep guessing? I mean I'm kind of running out of guys here."
"You." What was Sam doing to himself? Why had he said that?
"I'm sorry?" There was a pause, a pause that lasted for far too long for anyone's liking. "You like me?" Sam chewed his bottom lip not actually wanting to say anything. He was only half lying. He did like Blaine and their little date had made him like Blaine a considerable amount more, even if it was just because he was comforting and safe. But he couldn't tell Blaine that he really wanted Kurt. He nodded. "Wow." There was nothing else to say. There really were no other words.
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't want to just unload everything on you." Half true. He was thankful that he could but he really didn't want to dump it all on Blaine.
"If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm here. If you can't talk to anyone else then you can always come to me. Okay?" Sam nodded. He wanted to cry but he'd done far too much crying recently and it was over Kurt. Now he wanted to cry because Blaine was being so nice to him. "So, where do we go from here?"
"I don't know." The words were weak, the way Sam felt.
"I won't tell Kurt if you don't want me to. It'll just be our little secret." It was supposed to be an innocent joke between friends but the words made Sam's stomach turn. He was already keeping a secret from Blaine and now he was supposed to keep a fake secret from Kurt too? Was the secret fake though?
"Thanks." It wasn't until the few seconds of silence had passed that they realised Blaine was still holding Sam's hand. It wasn't romantic, or at least it wasn't supposed to be. Originally it had been a gesture of support, to show Sam that he wasn't alone. But now that Sam had told Blaine he had a crush on him then it became more. The hands held together meant something more than support. Blaine wanted to withdraw his hand but it would go against everything he's just told Sam. If he pulled away after Sam confides in him then it looks like he's rejecting him.
"Do you want another coffee?" Sam shook his head and Blaine used the question as an excuse to remove his hands and hold up his cup, gesturing to it as if Sam didn't know what coffee was. "So…me?" Sam knew the date would be a disaster. It wasn't quite the disaster that Sam had expected though. At least he hadn't told him about how he was still interested in Kurt and that Kurt still kind of liked him too. "So who else knows about…" Blaine looked around. He wouldn't normally have worried about saying it but Sam was obviously trying to be very discreet. "About you being…you know." Blaine's cautiousness made Sam smile.
"Kurt and Quinn." They were an odd pairing and everyone knew it. Why would you tell just those two people? "Quinn kind of found out when we were dating and Kurt…" His mind trailed as he remembered what happened when Kurt found out. "Kurt's intuitive." Blaine smiled and nodded.
"That he is."
There was a small vibration that took both of them by surprise. It was Blaine's phone. He quickly checked it. Text message. Nothing he needed to worry about.
"What's the time?" Sam asked, noticing that Blaine had his phone out.
"It's a little after two."
"Crap, I've gotta go." He didn't. He had nowhere else to be but he was getting too friendly with Blaine to hang around any longer. He'd already spent more time with him than he had been expecting and so he needed an excuse to leave. "I said I'd call home." There was no time limit on when he needed to call.
"Well this was fun. It was good getting to know you." They both stood up and walked around to the same side of the table. How were they going to say goodbye? Blaine took control and leaned in for a hug which wasn't uncommon. He was a very friendly guy. "It's not going to be awkward between us right?"
Sam didn't know why he did what he did. All he knew was that his mind wanted to. But then again it didn't. As soon as it happened his mind cursed him and wanted him to just run as far away as possible. He kissed Blaine.
It wasn't unpleasant. Blaine had surprisingly soft lips and Sam had learnt a thing or two about kissing in his time so he didn't regret doing it. Well, he did regret it, but not because it was bad. He regretted it because he'd been chasing after Blaine's boyfriend for a long time and now he was kissing Blaine. And Blaine had a boyfriend.
Blaine had a boyfriend.
That was reason he should be kicking himself for kissing him. Blaine had a boyfriend. An attractive boyfriend. Who Sam actually did have a crush on. So why was he here, still kissing Blaine who he didn't know he might have a crush on until earlier that day? There wasn't an answer for it. There couldn't be an answer for it. If there was then Sam didn't know it.
Sam pulled away. He had expecting Blaine to but surprisingly he hadn't. He hadn't kissed back though either. It was like he was too stunned to react. In his defence Sam accepted that. He wasn't expecting to kiss him at that point so how could Blaine have known any differently.
"Sam."
"I've got to go." And with that Sam left the Lima Bean without another word. What was he going to do? This was a bigger deal than having a crush on Kurt. He'd just kissed Kurt's boyfriend. There was no reason for doing it. There was no excuse for doing it. There was no remorse for doing it. Sam didn't feel guilty at all.