Day 2

Many physicians agree that day two post-op is the hardest for patients. I'm a physician who, after years of experience, believes in that statement. That is further cemented when I am woken up early this morning by my wife's pitiful hiccupping sobs. I untangle myself from my blankets and make a frantic stumble to Meredith's bedside.

"Mer…Meredith what's wrong." I mumble, trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes. In the faint light slanting through the windows I can see Meredith struggling to reach for some non-existent point on the other side of her bed.

"Meredith" I say again, more forcefully this time in hopes to get her attention.

"Derek." She moans, her body sagging back against the pillows she's propped up on. "I can't….drugs…I need…can't…can't reach." She sniffles and claws at the side of the bed again.

"Shh." I say in my most relaxing voice. "Shh slow down. It's okay." I tell her.

"Noo" She moans which breaks off into a sob. The sound stabs an ice cold dagger into my heart and shatters it. "I can't…I-I"

"You can't what?" I ask gently wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Drugs…I can't." She whines as she claws at the side of the bed again. Suddenly it all starts to click. I see the thick wire that connects to the PCA pump run down the edge of the bed and drop of the side.

"You can't reach the PCA." I state more than ask. I move to the other side of her bed and pick up the pump before pressing the button a few times. I return the pump to the side of the bed and Meredith proceeds to grab it and jam her thumb on the button a few more times. I pour her a cup of water and turn to hand it to her. She doesn't make any move to grab it, instead opting to open her mouth and let me put the straw in her mouth for her. She takes a few sips before letting the straw go. I put the cup down on the table and turn back to Meredith, pushing her bangs out of her face.

"Jesus Meredith you're all sweaty." I blurt before I even have a chance to filter the thought.

"Yeah" She agrees absently

"I'll be right back." I tell her before slipping into the bathroom. In there I grab a washcloth and run it under lukewarm water, before returning to the other room.

"Meredith?" I call out quietly to see if she's awake.

All I get in reply is a half-hearted, "Mmm?"

"I'm going to help you clean up okay?" I tell her as I step up to the side of her bed

"M'kay" Meredith mumbles. Her eyes are closed and her head is tipped back slightly like she fell asleep briefly before waking up again and not bothering to move. I hesitate for a moment; I considering just letting her go back to sleep but I decide to press the washcloth to her face and feel her relax under my fingertips. I wipe the sweat of her brow and the rest of her face before continuing down to her neck and shoulders. I do as much as I can before I have to stop.

"Meredith." I whisper. "I need unbutton the top of your gown. Okay?"

I don't expect an answer so I'm surprised when I get a sleepy "Kay"

I undo the shoulder snaps and pull the gown down that it's just barely keeping her decent. I pull the blankets over her to help her keep warm before I began to wipe her upper chest. I pause for a moment with my palm splayed flat across her left breast, just feeling her heartbeat. The moment is broken though by Meredith's giggle.

"Are you trying to feel me up?" She smirks at me with a small sparkle shining through the exhausted and drugged haze clouding her eyes.

"Maybe" I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively before resuming cleaning her up. I move down below her breasts before I pull the gown back up and re-snap the shoulders. I gently peck her lips and turn to dispose of the washcloth

"My legs aren't shaved." Meredith blurts unexpectedly.

"What?" I ask, not sure I heard her right.

"My legs aren't shaved. How are we going to have kinky hospital bed sex if my legs aren't shaved?" Meredith deadpans. I can't hold back the small laugh that escapes my lips. Clearly the morphine is talking

"I wasn't really planning on having kinky hospital bed sex." I say and Meredith sighs dramatically.

"But you keep feeling me up. I'm horny and I want dirty hospital bed sex." She whines.

"Sorry Mer, but it's against doctor's orders." I tell her apologetically. She sighs again but has no retort. I return to the bathroom to throw the washcloth in the used linens basket. When I reenter the hospital room, Meredith's eyes are closed and her breathing is even. The alarm clock on the table beside the bed glows 5:34. I drop into one of the chairs and grab Meredith's hand. I don't bother trying to back to bed; rounds will be starting in a little under half an hour.

The next thing I know, Dr. Bailey marches in followed by a bunch of residents and interns.

"Who's presenting?" Bailey asks. One of Alex's interns steps forward.

"Um, Dr. Meredith Grey thirty-three. Post-op day two from a live liver donation. Has been responding well to antibiotics and painkillers and is on course to be moved to step-down care later today. She is scheduled for a MRI and CT to check for any residual bleeding." The intern finishes presenting and steps back into the herd of people. Normally the patient is woken during rounds but since Meredith is a VIP the formality is forgone.

"I'm assuming you'll pass that on Dr. Shepherd." Bailey demands more than she asks but I nod anyway.

"Absolutely"

"Okay then. She's scheduled for imaging at 9." Bailey gives me one last nod before everyone files out of the room. Meredith stirs slightly but she resettles and the room descends into quiet. I consider going back to sleep, but I'm one of those people where once I'm up I'm up and there's no going back. In spite of this fact, I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I interlace my fingers with Meredith's. I start to doze off and it feels like nanoseconds later when I feel Meredith's fingers move within mine. The clock however reads 8:07. Meredith is peering groggily at her surroundings.

"Hey." I whisper to get her attention. Her gaze snaps to me but it takes her a second to respond

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?" I ask. She shrugs which causes her to wince which is all I really need for an answer.

"That good huh?" I chuckle with a hint of concern.

"I'm okay I guess. I just feel like I got bowled over by a good sized car." She elaborates.

"You know that okay and being hit by a car don't usually go hand in hand right?" I smirk and she mocks my expression.

"On a completely unrelated note, you slept through rounds." I tell her.

"They let me do that?" She asks incredulous. "Bailey let me do that?"

"She did. You have more pull than you realize." I smile at her shocked expression. "Anyway my point in telling you that is that you have scans at nine…" I pause to look at the clock. "…and it's 8:13"

"M'kay." Meredith mumbles; her energy is fading fast.

"I'll let you sleep." I tell her.

"Wait!" She mumbles. "Can you…while I…go home."

"You want me to go home?" I'm surprised by this request.

"Yeah…while I…scans….need…want…stuff." She's barely making sense at this point but I get the idea.

"You want me to go home while you're getting scans and get your stuff?" I clarify.

"Mhmm"

"Okay." I promise. I sit down in my seat again and taking her hand. A short while later the orderlies are knocking on the door with a gurney. Meredith is shifted from the bed to the gurney and wheeled down to imaging. I accompany her to the door of the CT room. Bailey is there waiting and raises her eyebrows at me, challenging me to beg her to let me be in the room. Instead I turn and place a chaste kiss on Meredith's cheek. I stand up straight before nodding at Dr. Bailey and turning to leave. I make a quick stop at my office to grab my keys and my briefcase before making a beeline to the parking lot.

My trip home is uneventful. I pick up clothes for Meredith and myself as well as a few books for Meredith, a couple extra blankets that are much more comfortable than the hospital ones and our pillows off our bed, Next thing I know I'm out the door and pealing out of the driveway. I don't break any speed limits on my way back, but there are a few questionable yellow lights. I pull into my staff parking spot near the front doors. I lock my car and head for my office where I pick up a few of my emergency toiletries that I keep for nights on-call. I head back to Meredith's room in the post-op ICU. It doesn't surprise me when she's not there but when I ask the nurse where she's been moved to, my heart starts to race.

"She's in the General ICU." The nurse tells me with a sympathetic smile. I give rushed thanks before walking with extreme purpose to the General ICU. I'm barely through the sliding doors when the nurse looks up at me.

"Cubicle 7." She says pointing down the hall. I nod and head towards the cubicle. Through the sliding glass door I see Meredith, no worse for wear, asleep in the bed in the center of the room. Bailey is sitting in one of the visitor chairs with a stack of charts. I quietly enter the room and Bailey looks up.

"She's okay. They needed the bed in post-op but I wasn't comfortable moving her to step down just yet." Bailey reassures me with uncharacteristic softness. "Her scans were fine but I wasn't happy with her platelets so I ordered a transfusion." I notice the transfusion machine holding the bag of dark red blood behind the hospital bed and the thick wire winding its way down to the IV site on Meredith's hand.

"Okay." I say. I'm surprised by how shaky and relieved my voice sounds. Bailey stands and gathers her charts.

"She said lying on her back was uncomfortable so we gave her a dose of Diazepam to help with muscle spasms. It knocked her out cold but it should be wearing off soon." Bailey tells me before she leaves the room sliding the door shut behind her.

Contrary to what Bailey told me before it takes Meredith a solid two hours to begin to escape the inviting sleep of the drugs. In the mean time, the nurse, Melissa, slips in and out checking on Meredith about every fifteen minutes or so. Other than that I'm left with my thoughts until Meredith begins to stir. After that moment it takes her another couple of minutes to crack her eyes open.

"Hey there Sleeping Beauty." I smile and lean forward in my seat. Instead of answering, Meredith lets out a huge yawn. I chuckle at the sound but her glare shuts me up.

"Mmm sure I'm real beautiful right now." She grumbles.

"You're always beautiful to me." I give her my best cheesy grin.

"Cheesy" She snarks. We're quiet for a few minutes before Meredith breaks the silence.

"Why am I in the ICU?" She asks, curiously looking around at her surroundings.

"Bailey wasn't comfortable with your platelet count so she ordered a transfusion. Because of that, she didn't feel comfortable sending you to step-down but they needed the bed in post-op." I explain. Meredith just nods at the explanation.

"How do you feel?" I whisper.

"Woozy" Meredith replies. "and a little nauseous."

"Do you want me to get the nurse?" I sit up a little straighter. "Melissa was just in here a few moments ago but I'm sure I could track her down."

"Not right now." Meredith says and her eyes dip close for what is longer than a blink.

"I brought you your pillow from home." I tell her. She perks up a little at that.

"Can I have it?"

"Sure" I say reaching over and grabbing it off the top of the duffel bag that I'd left beside the chair. She takes it and with the hand that isn't being pinned down by an IV and pulls the hospital pillow she's propped up on out from behind her head and hands it to me before replacing it. She snuggles into the pillow before crossing her arms over her chest and wincing.

"Can you get me a heated blanket?" She asks. I nod before going out into the hall and grabbing the blanket from one of the heaters in at a supply station. When I return, Meredith's eyes are closed and her breathing is even. I pull the blanket over her body, all the way up to her chin, and I tuck her in. She subconsciously adjusts to the new temperature before sighing in contentment. I'm surprised when I glance at the clock to see that it's only 11:30. I rifle through the pile of books that I'd chucked in the duffel bag and pull out one that looks good. I'm a few chapters in when the door slams open and Lexie rushes in followed by Cristina.

"I heard…from one of the nurses." Lexie pants. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine Lexie." I reassure her. "Bailey wasn't ready to send her to step-down but they needed the bed in post-op." I give them the abridged version. Lexie sags in relief before she drops down into the other visitor's chair.

"The nurses are making bets on if she'll make it through the night." Cristina offers as an explanation. She looks a lot more composed than Lexie but I can see hints of relief written across her face.

"You guys can sit with her for a while." I offer. "I need to eat and shower and stuff." I stand and give my seat to Cristina. I grab my clothes and give Meredith a peck on the forehead before exiting the room on course for the Attendings Lounge. Unsurprisingly, on the way there, I am offered quite a few sympathetic looks and well wishes.

After a hot shower I head to the cafeteria and pick up a sandwich. I sit by myself in the corner so I'll be out of the way. I haven't even taken a bite yet when a tray is dropped down in front of me. Mark slides into the seat across from me.

"Hey man I heard about Grey." Mark says

"She's fine. She needed blood so Bailey didn't want to send her to step-down but they needed the bed in post-op." I brief him. He doesn't say anything for a moment.

"Figured as much. I have good money on her making it through the night."

"Cut me in for half?" I ask.

"Deal" He says and we shake on it. We continue eating our lunch in relative silence. In the twenty minutes it takes me to devour my sandwich, Callie, Owen and two of Meredith's interns approach me asking about Meredith. I give them all the same assurances which satisfy everybody. As lunch comes to a close Mark's pager beeps and we go our separate ways.

When I return to Meredith's room, Meredith is awake and Lexie is chatting away. Meredith doesn't look the least bit interested in what Lexie is saying. In fact she looks seconds away from falling asleep; the only thing keeping her awake is her desire not to hurt Lexie's feelings. Lexie doesn't notice my presence but Meredith turns her head towards me. Her eyes speak volumes

I'm so tired. Please shut her up.

"How's Thatcher Lexie?" I ask in an attempt to side track her. She looks startled by my sudden presence but that doesn't stop her for long.

"He's good. They sent him down for images a little while ago. That's actually how I heard Meredith was here." Lexie rambles excitedly. "Actually he should be done soon so I should go check on him. Don't worry I'll be back though." She jumps out of her chair and leaves the room rather quickly.

"That was easy." I mumble as I sit

"Thank you." Meredith says faintly.

"How are you feeling?"

"I've a headache. I dunno if it's the drugs or the blood but Lexie didn't help. I feel nauseous, and like someone's tryin'a squeeze my insides to a pulp. Plus, the nurse said I can't have more drugs." Meredith grumbles. I give her a little sympathetic smile before I reach to put my hand on her cheek. I run my fingers through her hair and her eyes dip closed in pleasure.

"I'm sorry you don't feel well." I empathize. Meredith doesn't say anything, she just closes her eyes. Within minutes, her breathing is even and she's asleep. I sit there, just staring at her face and admiring her beauty, until the nurse slips into the room quietly.

"Are you sure she can't have anymore meds?" I ask before she has a chance to even pick up Meredith's chart.

"I'm sure." Melissa says sounding genuinely sympathetic. "She's controlling her own pain which she's maxed out on. I can only give her a little of the anti-nausea agent because of the blood transfusion. However, she just finished off the blood which should help with the headache." She moves on to check Meredith's vitals and disconnect the line for the blood transfusion. She's quick and efficient and out of the room a few minutes later. I pick up the book I had been reading earlier and begin reading again. Melissa is the only visitor for a while. Izzie and Alex poke their heads in as does Mark, but all their visits are very brief. A resident and his intern stop by to take Meredith's blood. Up until this point, Meredith had slept through everything. The intern wakes her up, and I can't help but cringe along with her as the intern misses Meredith's vein three times before he finally sticks it. She falls back to sleep quickly and I go back to my book. I've just finished the book when Bailey enters the room.

"Her blood work came back clean; we're ready to move her to step-down." Bailey gets right to the point.

"Okay." I don't know what else to say. She motions for a team of orderlies to enter the room. They bring yet another gurney and count to three before shifting Meredith onto it. She doesn't stir for the whole ride down to step-down care. They transfer her to her new bed without her waking and everyone quietly files out of the room. A new nurse comes in and introduces herself as Jeanie, but after she checks Meredith over and gets her to clear her lungs she's leaves and it's just Meredith and I. I set up my bed on the couch which is positioned under the window. The clock on the wall reads 7:20. I'm surprised at how late it's gotten. I settle myself in one of the visitor chairs and grab one of the crappy magazines off the bedside table. I've barely opened it when the door swings open and Mark comes in.

"Hey man." He whispers. "Here's your half." He hands me $30 and a tuna melt from the cafeteria.

"Someone bet a tuna melt?" I joke.

"Nah just thought you might be hungry." He says.

"Thanks." I say as I open the tuna melt. Mark drops in the other visitor's seat and grabs the TV remote. He turns the TV on to ESPN which is playing Mariners versus The Angels. We sit and watch the game in companionable silence. We make it to the 7th inning before Meredith starts to stir.

"S'goin on." She mumbles, rubbing her hands over her face. My attention turns to her and Mark mutes the game.

"Hey." I smile. "Mark and I were just watching the baseball game." Meredith snuffles around for a minute still waking up.

"Okay." She finally says.

"You got moved to step-down."

"I see that." She says taking stock of her surroundings.

"How're you feeling?" I inquire

"Sick of that question." She mumbles. "But otherwise I'm okay. Just tired."

"You can go back to sleep." I assure her. "Mark and I can entertain ourselves."

"Kay" She mumbles closing her eyes.

"Goodnight Meredith I love you."

"Love ya."

AN: I forgot an author's note last chapter. Oops my bad. Anyway thanks for reading! Meredith had a tough time this chapter but recovery is a rollercoaster. There are ups and downs although I can assure you this is a kiddie rollercoaster so the dips won't be that big A reviewer asked me not to kill Derek. I'm not sure where you got the idea I would from but I promise I won't. Also on a completely unrelated note, I have yet to watch season 12 of Grey's. To be honest I don't really want to anymore. I might get around to it we'll see. Anyway that's all. Please drop a review on your way out!