Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation in any way, because if I did, Ryuichi would be more a main character. :D

Funeral.

That word stuck on to me the entire trip. Tohma just got married months ago, and now his mother-in-law dies. It's not that I'm blaming him for anything, but why must I go?

Emotional support, maybe. As if I can provide any. He was supposedly more 'emotionally-stable' than I will ever be. I start to wonder.

When we got to the place, the atmosphere was the least bit light. There were tears everywhere. The grieving, the sorrow, the anger… In one word, sadness. Some cried a whole lot, and some were forcing themselves not to cry, yet the tears won't stop flowing.

When I got to the relatives of the dead, I then saw Tohma's wife, Mika, and two other people beside her. Those two people, Eiri Yuki-san and someone else I did not know, looked rather stiff, but they did not express it through tears. Somehow, I know there was still grief there. They would cry if they wanted to, except that no tears would come out.

Black.

It was everywhere. It made everything seem so dull. It seems like an empty entity, the color black. It wasn't shiny, nor did it seem attractive. And yet it was everywhere. It was even on me, yet I did not like to be in black.

I just sat there at the sidelines. I was not really close to the deceased; I was only asked to go here and pay my condolences. Everyone had a sad look on their face. Even Eiri Yuki-san, who is normally apathetic to everything, wore a sad expression on his face. That meant something, right?

I sit here, not knowing about the dead. The one beside me seemed to be close to the person who has just died. He seemed to keep a stern expression… Wait, wasn't he the brother of Mika-san?

He looked like Yuki-san, but then he didn't look as scary as he does. Black didn't look quite so bad on him, too. In fact, it matched his hair, it matched his eyes, it contrasted him.

Tears.

And everyone I knew started crying. If I knew any better, I was the only one left without the clue of tears on my eyes. Well, besides Kumagoro. But that's beside the point. Only Kumagoro and I were not crying.

I do not know what it feels like to lose my mother, but I knew how it feels like losing someone close to you.

I wanted to tell that to the child beside me. He seemed like he was around 12 years old, but surely, he is much older. He looks older, not in the offensive kind of way. He looks… Quite attractive. I am becoming a pedophile. Someone help me.

He started crying the moment I hugged him. Everyone else hugs someone else around here; why can't I?

Sometimes, I just wish I know how it feels like losing a mother, a loving mother. I would wish that I know how it feels like, so that I can relate to those around me. And so I told him.

"I do not know what it feels like to lose my mother, but I know how it feels like losing someone close to you. After that, it will be okay... I promise. Even Kumagoro says so!" I said, lending Kumagoro to him and secretly hoping that I would lighten his mood. He took Kuma-chan in his arms and hugged him. He cried more after that. I felt like crying too; I want to cry for the people here.

Music.

And I hear a sad song. It was not being hummed. It was not being whispered. It was being sung. The song filled the air around me, it was speaking to me. I needed to grieve, too, it said.

The song needs to be put into words.

And so I sing for him. Soon enough, my voice was powerful enough to sing for all of them. I do not know why I am singing. I am not singing for the deceased, I am singing for the man beside me. I am singing because I remember a distant past which I had promised myself to run away from. I promised myself that I would not cry. I promised.

And yet here I am, comforting someone who lost a precious thing. Here I am, singing for him, or rather, for him. Here I am, grieving, crying.

I left Kumagoro with him, as I thought that he needed it more than I ever would. I know that it would comfort him. I would just ask him much, much later to get Kumagoro back.

Later on, I received an SMS message from someone from the past. He (or she) probably did not delete my phone number. It was most probably left there. Probably one of my old house-helps.

We are inviting you to Ryo Sakuma's 2nd death anniversary which is on (insert date here). It will be on (insert place here), at (insert time here). Thank you very much. Michi Sakura.

I cried more this day than I should have. I do not know whether to go or not. I just gave Kumagoro to someone who needed it, and yet here I am, crying because the original owner of that Kumagoro is dead. What more, my mother was the one who messaged me. She still has my number. I fear once more at what will happen, whether I will go or not, my family's reaction at me.

The one to whom I have given the Kumagoro tapped me gently at the back.

"Uh… Mister? I have the feeling that you would need this more than I do…" he said, giving Kumagoro back to me. He seemed well enough, he even smiled at me.

That smile is worth more than all the money in the world. You should smile more, Ryu-chan!

I could say the same to this boy. His smile was beautiful. It seems to suck me in and—

No. I can't. Maybe knowing his name might do me some good—it might relieve me in a way.

"What's your name?" I asked him.

"Tatsuha," he replied quietly. Tatsuha… That seems like a nice name.

"And I, Ryuichi. Call me Ryu-chan, okay?"

And so I left that day feeling heavy. So much has happened. And to think that I was supposed to be emotional support.

Kumagoro was with me yet again. I have taken him, because Tatsuha insisted. Somehow, the day seems a little bit easier. As I completely try to detach myself from the past, I move on forward. Then I realize that I have made my first friend ever since I ran away.

I try to rise again.

A/N: okay… I really don't know what to write from here on forward, but don't jump into any conclusions. I'll give you a little hint, though: the pairings are jumbled as the story progresses, but then I left little clues there to make sure that the pairings will be revealed to you soon :D This is a weird start, I know, but try to bear with me because I am trying to mold the story and make it seem like it has any sense at all. But yeah.

Did it suck? Was it okay? Did I pass? Please review! Thanks… Though I am not forcing you to review. Flames to the author shall be incinerated.