A/N: Nothing much to say but there are spoilers up to the latest Tsubasa chapter.
White Mokona and Black Mokona were perched on top of the oak wooden table. Now it was their turn to be the anchors.
"We're going in five!" Yuko exclaimed from the control room. "Five! Four! Three! Two! And you're on Mokos!"
Dramatic music appeared in the background and soon the two bunny like creatures were on the air.
"Hi!" White Mokona cheered, waving a paw in the air in a cute greeting manner. "Welcome to TRC channel seven news! Mokona is Mokona!"
"And Mokona is Mokona too!" Black Mokona greeted also.
"Yeah!" White Mokona bounced up and down happily. " And Mokona have good news! And do you know what the good news is?"
Black Mokona starts to giggle and so does the other Mokona.
"Do you want Mokona to tell you?" White Mokona asked.
"You really want to know?" Black Mokona asked.
"Really?
"Really?"
"Well…" Both Mokonas turned to each other and back to the camera as they said simultaneously: "It's a secret!"
The two creatures went into fits of laughter and accidentally fell off of the desk. Everyone in the studio raised their eyebrows. The Mokonas continued to laugh and laugh till it looked like they're going to die of laughter. So Yuko called the ambulance and they were sent away to either the hospital or the looney bin.
Yuko walked over to the desk and smiled nervously at the camera. "Sorry for the interruption, hope you weren't disturbed. Now the new anchors are going to be Fai and Kurogane for today!"
"Yay!" Fai cheered from who knows where and quickly ran to the desk while dragging Kurogane along. Fai shook Yuko's hands rapidly before sitting down at the desk and dragging an angry puppy to sit down also.
Yuko walked back to the control room without another word…
"Hi everyone!" Fai waved happily to the camera with a gigantic grin on his face. "Did you miss us? 'Cause Kuro-puppy missed you all!"
"WHAT THE BEEP!?" Kurogane retorted. "I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THESE BEEP PEOPLE!"
Fai gasped dramatically. "How could you, Kuro-daddy! I thought you had a soul!"
"What soul?" Kurogane asked.
Fai gasped again and turned back to the camera. "Ignore him everyone! Do not listen to the puppy, he didn't have his coffee today and is not a morning person!"
"It's the evening!" Kurogane exclaimed.
"Whatever!" Fai said, not bothering to look back at Kurogane. "Anyways, let's get back to the news! Okay, so um….the latest chapters of Tsubasa has now driven everyone nuts!" Fai randomly threw some sheets of paper in the air and almost toppled out of his seat.
Kurogane raised his eyebrow. "How so?"
"Well let's see…" Fai took one of the sheets of paper and flipped them to the back to write some notes down. "We discovered that our children our clones! "
"What?"
"The real ones have been stuck in tubes for who knows how long and the real Syaoran managed to get out and is now pretty pissed."
"Excuse me?"
"And now we're having these long flashbacks of the real Sakura and Syaoran but their names aren't Sakura and Syaoran and Sakura's father was supposed to be Syaoran's father but he's the king of Clow but Clow was supposed to be the king of Clow so we're guessing it's another Clow Country but we don't know and we're really confused and CLAMP is twisting our minds up and making our brains turn into mush! So what do you have to say about this, Kuro-chu?" Fai turned to Kurogane with a happy smile.
"I don't know what the beep you're talking about." Kurogane answered bluntly.
"Ah." Fai nodded. "So to put it simply…CLAMP is twisted!" He clasped his hands together and wrote several things down. "Now let's all write a letter to CLAMP and tell them how wonderful they are to us! Especially to me!"
Kurogane stared at the mage in awkward silence for a few minutes till he said in a bored manner: "But you hate their guts."
"I know!" Fai crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it to the ground, stomping on it. "They are so mean to me! Do you know what they did to me?"
"No." Kurogane shrugged.
"They turned me angsty! I was once a happy go lucky honey bee but it was all fun and games till I lost an eye even though it's a tradition in CLAMP for one or two characters to get their eyes gouged out or get blind, I stabbed our daughter, almost killed you, and I have nightmares of Mokona eating my skin clean off! I'M ANGSTY YOU HEAR!! ANGSTY!"
Fai started to shake Kurogane back in forth till the poor ninja was getting really dizzy.
"Wait." Some one called out, Fai stopped shaking a dazed Kurogane and turned to the person speaking. It was none other than X Subaru.
"You're wrong, I'm the angstiest character!" Subaru exclaimed, pointing to himself.
"No, I am!" X Kamui suddenly appeared beside X Subaru.
"No, me!" Fai stood up from his seat and walked over to the two.
"Me!" Subaru exclaimed.
"Me!" Kamui retorted, jumping up and down.
"ME!!" They all exclaimed loudly and were soon tackling each other.
Kurogane sighed. "We'll be back after the commercial break…BEFORE ANYONE GETS BEEP FIRED YOU BEEPS!!"
Fuma was walking through the streets of Tokyo as buildings were falling down and earthquakes were erupting.
"The earth is coming to an end." Fuma said plainly with no emotion in his voice once so ever. "We're all going to die, unless someone chooses to either destroy the earth or save it! Kamui…" Fuma looks over his shoulder to see Kamui skipping around happily with sakura petals circling around him.
"It's official! I'm a Sailor Scout!" Kamui declared as he spin around, waving his arms up in the air. Now feathers were appearing to join in.
Fuma scowled at the dancing feminine school boy. "Oi, Kamui!"
"Yeah?" Kamui swirled his head over towards Fuma as he beamed at him joyously despite all the buildings being destroyed in the background.
"What are you doing?" Fuma asked.
"I'm dancing!" Kamui exclaimed as more sakura petals and feathers swirled around him.
"Why?"
"'Cause I hate this meanie show!" Kamui said, stomping his feet to the ground. "It's too bloody and gory and everyone's dieing! And didn't I win the Mr. CLAMP Universe Pageant? Yeah, I did! But I'm not having any breaks! And now the world's ending, CLAMP hasn't even finished our manga and not even our little story in TRC, and I am always treated like a sissy! A SISSY ANGSTY LITTLE BOY WHO IS AS ANGSTY AS SUBARU!"
"Well—"
"And you know what else, Fuma?" Kamui asked as he pulled out the script for X. He tore it apart and stomped on it. "I quit this twisted show! Find someone else to molest!"
And he stormed off.
Fuma watched as Kamui stormed off into the distance, he blinked and looked at the camera. "If any one wants to be the one to either destroy or save the earth please call 1-999-999-FATE. If you don't, I'll be happy to choose the earth's fate for you."
"See!" Kamui exclaimed as he pointed at the screen where they were showing the commercial. "I am angsty! ANGSTY!"
"No, I'M ANGSTIER!" Subaru protested.
"No, you're both wrong, I'M ANGSTEST!" Fai exclaimed.
Kurogane glared over at the three who were all arguing near by. "WILL YOU ALL SHUT THE BEEP UP!?"
The three stopped arguing and looked at the angry puppy.
"Now look…" Kurogane sighed, and then pointed to the following. "You—"points to Subaru. "Get a beeping life! You—"points to Kamui "Stop being all whinny and get a beeping life also! And you—"finally points to Fai. "You're just plain beep! So if I were all of you beeps, I would beep the beep up and stop being all BEEP!"
The three angsty characters blinked, turned to one another and back at Kurogane. "We have no idea what you just said."
Kurogane grunted and faced palm. "Never mind…"
Fai smiled. "Good! Now let's go to Sakura-chan with the news!"
Camera three came on and zoomed in on Sakura who suddenly jumped in the air since she almsot fell asleep sine she was dieing of boredom. Sakura pulled out her wand and pointed it at Japan.
"Uh…well, we have Japan…and it's going to be raining a lot over here…" She pointed the wand over to a lower part of Japan. "And uh…hurricane Kuro is coming over towards the west coast…wait, I think that's the west."
"That's the east!" Fai called out.
"Oh…" Sakura sweatdropped. "Well…uh…the hurricane's coming up and there might be an earthquake so…we should stay indoors till the hurricane and earthquake stop…and uh…over here—" Sakura pointed to some where at the top of Japan. "Is going to be sunny! So it's a good place to go over there than in Tokyo where there's going to be some destruction. Um…back to you Fai-san and Kurogane-san! Oh and Fai-san, what do you mean that I'm a clone?"
"Uh…" Fai sweatdropped. "Now let's go to Syaoran-kun with the sports!"
The screen behind Fai and Kurogane changed to Syaoran standing in front of a track with a microphone in hand.
"Syaoran-kun!" Fai waved. "How're you?"
"Fine, Fai-san…" Syaoran answered softly. "But uh…the racers are already running and uh…I notice when I was watching…one of Sakura-hime's feathers fwas lying by…"
Fai notice that Syaoran's eye was twitching. "Uh-huh…"
"Once I saw it…I started to act funny…" Syaoran said, his eye was twitching some more. "Like…twitching…"
"Ah…" Fai nodded slowly, still smiling.
"A—and you know what else? "Syaoran asked, his eye was twitching even more. "I…I lost sight of the feather…"
"Oh…"
"Sakura-hime's feather…" More twitching.
"Uh-huh…"
"Her precious feather…" Even more twitching.
"Okay." Fai nodded some more, still keeping that smile.
"Her…precious…FEATHER!" Syaoran cried out, his mouth now foaming and was now twitching like crazy.
Fai and Kurogane stared with awe. Then Kurogane got out of his seat. "I'll go get him again."
"Yay! Go, Kuro-daddy!" Fai cheered, clapping his together. Kurogane just grunted and left the studio.
Fai looked back at the screen and saw Syaoran running around in circles looking for the feather. He was swinging his sword (which popped out of nowhere) viciously all over the place and was scaring off all of the runners who were passing by.
Everyone in the studio and those who were watching this back home (which was more then ten billion people.) were now scared.
Then a magic circle appeared in front of Syaoran and there appeared Real Syaoran with his pointy sword and looking entirely pissed since he's been stuck in a tube for seven years! Yay!
R! Syaoran sighed. "You know, my dad was much, much cooler than us. WHY DID CLAMP HAVE TO MAKE US SO BORING!?"
C! Syaoran shrugged. "I don't know, I only want to protect Sakura-hime and get the feathers.
"SEE WHAT I MEAN!?" The other Syaoran exclaimed.
"What?" C! Syaoran asked.
"NEVER MIND! LET'S JUST FIGHT!"
"Hold on."
The two Syaoran's turned and saw Kurogane walking up to them with his sword. Fai was giggling nervously, knowing what was going to happen next.
"The puppy's angry!"
"Shut up." Kurogane muttered to Fai, then turned back to the Syaoran's. "Now, you—"points to C Syaoran. "I'm going to have a nice talk with you, and you—"turn over to the camera crew.
"I'll start with you guys first."
And the screen quickly got censured (once again) for use of violence, bloody gore, limbs being torn apart, people exploding, a certain ninja swearing every single bad word there is, loss of sanity, and of course death. So the only thing that the people who were viewing this (which is more then ten billion people) were now watching a blank screen with a large smiley face on it despite the unusual sound effects in the background, a certain clone screaming out about feathers and the cut out swearing. Now everyone was hearing lines of beeps.
Fai sweatdropped and turned to the camera. "Uh…thanks for watching TRC channel 7 news! Good night." He then turned to Subaru and Kamui who were still arguing about the angst. "And I am angstier!"
"NO YOU'RE NOT!"
A/N: ...This was so weird, I know...I barley had any ideas for news stories, gomen, the comercial was weird, gomen and everything else was just plain...yeah, weird. Oh, and the angstiest charecters out of all of CLAMPs charecters would be (in order for me) Subaru, Kamui and Fai and they need hugs! Oh, and they're might be one or two more chapters for this weird fic since my brain has been feeling mushy for the past few days (maybe becuase school's coming soon...)