Thai, Tazers, and Teases

This will switch back and forth from Darcy and Loki's POVs…

Darcy commanded her brain and tongue to work, but stubborn organs were like damn unions on strike! Come on! Work! She begged to herself, wanting very much to wipe away that smirk that was on Loki's face.

His voice whispering breathily in her ear was not helping her keep her damn hormones under control – nor was the fact that he looked so f-ing sexy with his shirt pulled out from his pant waist and pretty much fully unbuttoned down to his naval so that the shirt hung loose and open to reveal a teasing peek at his god-like chest and abdomen. He wasn't overly muscled like a guy who worked out constantly at the gym – since he was so tall he was stretched and sculpted in such a way that made every freaking delectable muscle seem as if he was simply born that way – she had no doubt he probably was. She made a mental note to thank nature later for being so kind to Loki's body.

He looked so f-ing sexy leaning there in the doorway in the casual dismissal of his attire – he looked like the high school bad boy who refused to wear the uniform the way he was supposed to and his smirk at her scarlet blush at her sudden remembrance of her school girl fantasies said "I am sexy. I am affecting you. And I know it."

Darcy wanted to scream at herself. She felt like a freaking out-of-hormonal-control virgin teenager around him and not at all like the experienced woman that she was. Then again she had to give herself credit where it was due – Loki was built in such a way that screamed sex Sex SEX and had such a sexy charisma to him that Darcy had no doubt that a nun would forsake her vows to be with him – she would…damn him.

Loki mentally noted how murmuring low in Darcy's ear rendered her speechless and then decided to break the silence engulfing them before he gave into the urge to just lean in and kiss her. "It is I, sweetheart. What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

No, you do, you no-good-sexy-god-of- "You're home! Early!" she stammered. Well played Darcy.

"Yes, I am home, but far from early. Earlier than you may have expected me to be, but that is all right. I assure you I did not feel unwelcomed when you overlooked me standing in the doorway for some time. I was rather enjoying the dinner and show performance you were putting on," Loki divulged with a wicked smile.

"H-how long have you been watching me!" screamed a horrified Darcy. Oh, she hated Fate right now! Why! Of all the things he had to have seen, why must they be her sluttiest dance moves?

Loki smirked and stroked her jawline teasingly. "Long enough, Bad Girl."

Oh hell no! She had flashed him! When? She thought and then remembered the dropped rag and the particular rhythm of the song – if he knew what she had been thinking while she was doing those particular moves… She blushed furiously. He chuckled, which only made her blush a deeper scarlet around her neck although she tried her best to keep a poker face. She failed. "Stop laughing, you pervy-peeping-tom!"

Loki laughed softly and continued smirking wider. "It is my home in which you were flaunting yourself. I daresay I am the victim here. I come home to find a half-naked woman flaunting her body in my kitchen and shaking her provocative buttocks in my face."

He couldn't help it – the blush and the fury and embarrassment that rushed to her cheeks was priceless – he laughed – hard, like stomach-clutching-can't-breathe-hurts-to-laugh hard.

Darcy's anger flared. "Stop laughing or I'll tazer your ass!"

Loki suddenly stopped laughing and smirked even wider – that was a grin of pure sin if Darcy ever saw one – and an idea of mischief popped into his mind. He was going to get her back for teasing him, even if it was unintentional.

He turned her so her back was braced against the wall and his long arms were firmly braced on either side of her, trapping her there.

(Me: Talk about being caught between a rock and a ha- Co-conspirator: Don't even go there. Me: party pooper.)

Loki leaned down so he was nearly nose-to-nose with her. Heavens, she smelled divine – not like any of that over-powering perfumes and body sprays women put on them – this scent was all Darcy, all woman, like firecrackers and wildflowers.

When did he become a poet? Loki tried to demuddle his thoughts as he grinned down at a very confused Darcy, the mischief in his mind glinting in his eyes.

Darcy gulped.

"Do you really think that you will have the time to get to your room, open your secret drawer, remove and charge your weapon and be able to accurately target me before I subdue you?"

Darcy's throat went dry and her undies moist at his words. Why. Hormones. F-ing. Why.

"Subdue me?" she sassed, trying to appear unaffected, as if she was just going to play along with his little game, which she was, but for other reasons entirely than what he thought. "Who are you now, James Bond?" She knew he was flirting, but it was Loki – harmless flirtation; he didn't mean it… did he?

Loki chuckled, his chest rumbling with the sexy deep sound. "James Bond has nothing on Loki Odinson, sweetheart."

Darcy knew then that she and her hormones were in trouble. Every single cell in her heart screamed for her to play damsel in distress and act pitiful so Loki would call off this unfair game. Her mind, however, was all feminist and telling her to damn her hormones and accept his challenge.

Before she could make up her mind on which one she should follow, Loki decided for her. "I'll give you a ten second head start, Darcy. That's fair enough, right? Starting, now. -10."

Darcy didn't want to play this game anymore. "Loki, seriously, I,"

"9."

He wasn't going to call this off, was he? "You're serious about this, aren't you?"

Loki didn't bat an eye. "8."

Oh shit. "Oh, shit!"

Loki wanted to laugh, but he kept his poker face. "7."

Darcy ducked under his arms and began running for her room.

"6."

She could hear Loki's voice echoing from the kitchen as she flung open the door to her room and rushed in to her dresser.

"5."

Had his voice gotten closer than before? Whatever. Darcy threw everything out of the drawer, scrambling for her tazer.

"4."

His voice had definitely gotten closer. Darcy fumbled with her tazer.

"3."

Oh, shit. He was probably standing at the bedroom door by now. Darcy switched her tazer on, praying that it would hurry up with the initial charging.

"2."

Come on… she thought to herself.

"1."

Oh shit!