Author's Note: SORRY, SORRY, SORRY that it took me forever to update but I was so upset with the course of the show that I wasn't able to write anything. But now, here it is, the third chapter. Not much happens again, because I want it to develop slowly (and nope, I still don't know if this'll lead to a Brucas reunion, we'll all have to wait and see!). So this chapter is more about how Brooke feels and a bit about how the last years have been for her.

I really hope you still like it, though. If you have any ideas etc. on how this should go, tell me. ;) And as usual, I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING, etc. etc.

Oh and the title of this chapter is a song by The Windupdeads, you should check it out! Anyways, enjoy and comments would be lovely. :)

Reverse Of Shade

She shook her head. „No Lucas, just stop it" she said. "Get inside that room and enjoy your wedding party. We've been out here for way too long now. Peyton's surely waiting for you."

She took the jacket of his suit off of her shoulders and handed it to him.

"Thanks" she said. She smiled weakly and turned around so he couldn't see her face anymore.

Lucas sighed quietly and felt like there was nothing he could do, so he went inside where he was immediately greeted by a widely grinning Peyton whose cheeks were red from excitement and dancing.

"Luke, where have you been?" she asked and looked at him carefully. "Are you okay?" she asked suspiciously.

Lucas quickly nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just needed some fresh air" he said and smiled a perfect – fake – smile.

He didn't feel like telling Peyton about the whole thing with Brooke; he was not able to make out what it meant himself so why should he bother her with it? It was after all their wedding day and she ought to be happy and carefree.

Peyton smiled. "Alright, I believe you…" she said and wrapped her arms around his neck. "…husband." She laughed and placed a light kiss on his lips.

Lucas smiled back and drew her skinny body closer to his own.

"That's good…wifey" he said and kissed her back.

I can't leave now…if I leave now, Peyton will get suspicious…and I'm not strong enough to lie to her, not today, not after what just happened…

Brooke sighed heavily and just stood there, her thoughts spinning around in her confused mind. After some time she shook her head, straightened her hair and dress and tried to smile a perfect – fake – smile. She had gotten so used to smiling when she saw Peyton and Lucas together that she had brought it to perfection.

Nobody had ever asked her how she felt about them being together again, about them getting engaged and also, nobody had asked her how she felt about them marrying. It was only natural to all her friends that she had gotten over Lucas a long time ago. Brooke guessed that they just didn't want to think the contrary. It would be too complicated, too difficult, too much to handle. Sometimes, Brooke was relieved about that; it made things easier. She didn't have to have a breakdown and cry for hours – because that's what she believed would happen if anyone ever asked her if she still had feelings for Lucas. But sometimes, she felt like screaming and kicking and telling someone about it. She had been very close to telling it Nathan a few times; but then again, she thought about the consequences of Nathan knowing. So she never did it. And she would probably never do it anyways.

So she turned around and went back inside only to see a blonde boy and a blonde girl happily embracing and kissing each other. She immediately felt the well-known lump in her throat and the heavy feeling in her stomach. Brooke felt like throwing up when she saw Mr. and Mrs. Lucas Scott together…Mrs. Lucas Scott. Peyton Scott. It sounded so wrong to her. Brooke couldn't help but think that Brooke Scott sounded so much better. It just sounded right.

"Brooke, where have you been?!"

Peyton came running to her and hugged Brooke stormily.

"Hey!" Brooke said and smiled, knowing that her smile wouldn't reach her eyes. "I just needed some fresh air" she said.

From the corner of her eye she saw Lucas standing in the middle of the dance floor, helplessly staring into some point on the floor.

Peyton laughed. "Funny! Did you bump into Lucas? He said he needed some fresh air, too."

Brooke's eyes widened and she shook her head. "Erm, nope. No, I didn't see him."

Peyton laughed again and lightly patted her best friends shoulder.

"Gee, Brooke, are you alright? You seem kinda absent. Did something happen…?"

Brooke quickly shook her head. "Yeah, I'm okay. I guess I just had one wine too many" she said and managed to bring out a hollow laugh.

Peyton nodded and seemed satisfied with this explanation.

"You know, it's okay if you wanna go home. I don't want you to wake up with a huge hangover tomorrow" she said and laughed.

Brooke smiled. This time, it was a real smile: She hadn't ever seen her blonde best friend laugh and smile so much. Despite all that had happened, she loved Peyton like a sister and seeing her so happy made Brooke happy, too. She broke up with Lucas to make room for Peyton; her plan had worked out just perfect. Still, she wasn't happy. She had sacrificed herself for Peyton and sometimes she felt like Peyton didn't really understand that…

"P. Sawyer, don't be silly! This is your wedding day. I'll be the last one to leave" she said and smiled.

Peyton grinned happily. "That's good to hear, B. Davis! God, I am so happy!" Her eyes gleamed.

"Totally understandable. But hey, when are you and Broody leaving for your honeymoon anyways?" Brooke asked.

"Actually in about half an hour" Peyton answered apologetically.

Thank God!, Brooke thought. She felt like she couldn't bare another second seeing her best friend and the love of her life happily making out with each other.

"Okay" she said and nodded. "You need anything? I mean, I don't know…condoms maybe?" she said and laughed. After all she didn't want to be too reluctant when it came to helping Peyton.

Peyton sheepishly bit her bottom lip. "I don't think we'll need more…I already bought like a thousand!"

They both broke out into laughter. It felt good to just laugh with Peyton – it made Brooke forget why she was hurting.

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Two hours later Brooke was sitting on her couch with a huge bowl of Ben & Jerry's cookie dough ice-cream, watching 'Cruel Intentions' on DVD. She had really been the last one to leave the party after watching Peyton and Lucas get inside her comet and drive off to the airport. Brooke had no idea where they were spending their honeymoon as Lucas had wanted it to be a surprise for Peyton. They had looked so happy together…the way he had said goodbye to her was so sad: He had embraced her shyly and had whispered into her ear: "I'm sorry."

Now she felt like the loneliest person on the planet. She ought to be at some bar, drinking and flirting with hot guys. Instead, she was wearing her Paul Frank-pajamas, shoveling tons of ice-cream into her mouth and watching one of the saddest and most romantic movies ever.

How did that happen? Oh right: I fell in love and the jerk broke my heart – twice. And he is now married to my best friend. And I will never ever get over him.

Suddenly her cell phone vibrated violently in her purse.

1 Voice Mail from Broody

Brooke looked at her cell phone, confused: Lucas had called her? When? And more importantly why? She hesitated for a moment. Did she really want to know what he had to say? She sighed and decided that after this night it couldn't really get any worse.

"Brooke, it's me…erm look, I think we really need to talk about what happened tonight. I'll call you when I get back." She heard him sigh heavily and could imagine how he was sitting on a bench at the airport, closing his eyes for a second. "I'm sorry for…I guess somehow everything. Take care, Cheery."

Brooke swallowed. It felt good to hear his voice. She pressed the repeat button and listened to his words again and again.

"Brooke, it's me…"