She knew she wasn't coming out of this one alive; she didn't want to make it. She only wanted, she didn't even know at the moment or wasn't even sure she knew if she wanted to admit it. For hours she sat on the dusty floor, her body numb from the exertion of her meltdown. Korse had taken on the shape of all her demons, who else but the man who took what she most loved, who she most love from her to play the role of those nightmares and phantoms.

She stared blindly at the opposite wall Maybe the night terrors, those monsters that she's been but not the phantoms, her friends where the phantoms and now it hurt to think of them; later she'd remember the happy days. She took another swig from the old whiskey she'd found, it cooked her throat before she even swallowed it.

The woman sang out a few lyrics to a song she never remembers hearing, "well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say, I never want to let you down or have you go its better off this way." Was it? They were dead and she had almost broken her promise, deep down she wondered if any of them remembered what they had been before the Inferno. She kept singing as the bottle kept loosing its content.

Slowly her drunken mind began to shed its layer of self-destruction in favor of sobering up and doing as she was expected to, even if it was just as self-destructive. Finish their mission in their name, she raised her bottle and made a toasting motion before downing the remaining amber liquor. That night she spent on the beige couch with an ancient pink flower print, she was out like a light.

When she woke up as the sun rose, her insides decide to say good morning and she heaved onto the floor before reaching a bucket and emptying the little chunks off food from almost nineteen hours ago. As soon as the bile in her stomach made a home for itself in her emergency bucket, the blue haired killjoy decided that no one was pretty on the inside. She looked at herself in the mirror by the work desk and wiped some puke from her mouth and onto her half dirty pants.

The Killjoy wasn't numb but, nothing hurt as bad as it had the night before, not anymore. She might not live past these last few cycles but she was gonna go down fighting. She climbed the stairs and pushed the trap door open; she took a moment to steal herself before going back to the diner with everyone else.

The rubber- burner had hoped for a dreamless sleep but her memories projected themselves behind her lids, ones from before and after the world collapsed. She smiled at the memory of a strange boy with blonde hair and a football star build.

"You know we can stay here, and I'm sorry but I've screwed everything for you. We need to leave this town, now." She looked at his chill blue eyes, desperate and full of trust "we should of left yesterday, I'm holding you back, it's the only thing I'm good at!" her voice was about to break as brown eyes clouded over with tears.

She scrubbed them away and looked at his again; they looked so beautiful rimmed with the blackish blue of his make up. "I'm not leaving you here, the pigs'll kill you before you can even give up!" he all but screamed at her, they where barely seventeen and already running. He gripped her arms tightly "Are you really gonna listen to them? They want you to go back there."

She felt his arms wrapping her arms around her "I'm never gonna let them hurt you, even after I'm dead. I don't care what happens to me as long as you're still breathing you understand that?" they heard a voice outside and they picked up their stuff, a couple backpacks and their guns, "Jonathan Stark, surrender if you plead guilty the law of Battery City will-" the voice was cut off and a thud followed instantly, the brunette was pointing her gun at the crowd, she turned and smiled to him. "Lets go, the rooms gonna be packed with bad company" they ran out the back door and into their stolen car."

They sped off into the desert and felt free to breathe for once, the plastic-taste free air twisting in their hair; she smiled and kissed his neck even though her head was racing so fast she just wanted to pull herself out of it.

A dopey smile graved her lips as she entered the main diner; only Dr. Death, Ret and Marauder were awake. The others were probably still sheltered in the folds of sleep, tucked away safely from this nightmare. A pang of sorrow struck her and he mouth went dry, the blue hair killjoy looked to her sister and the pinkette gave a nod before turning back to her makeshift com-center.

The cerulean woman turned and walked quietly towards a small room in the back, she nudged the door open and a rare smile formed on her chapped lips. Curly puffed of hair fell all over the pillows. Grace was sleeping and she was safe. She couldn't stop thinking of how she had managed to make the child sleep that night, her heart break and pain only added to Faded's as she felt the impotence in her double at the child's hopelessness, her pain fueled a growing anger and murderous thirst that hungered for retribution.

Revenge was a dangerous weapon, for the one who wields it and the adversary. She couldn't let them steel the glimmer of life in Grace's eyes; that light of joy that kept everyone in the diner running. They'd all lost that light in some fraction; she was the only one who still looked at the world with a beaming light that was more than enough to keep them breathing.

Faded Electric sat on the edge of the makeshift bed, the only cot in the entire diner, she ran a had through some stray curls, a familiar motion that earned her a pair of gleaming eyes still sleep fuzzed and peaceful. "Time to get up, sugar, we got butts to kick and engines to prep" the last phrased granted her a confused stare and a slight tensing in the younger female's frame. "Race day, sugar butt, while Ret and D yap we get to run."

The punk jumped out of the bed, planted a quick kiss on the azure hair woman's cheek and peeled into the diner for breakfast. Faded could only chuckle as the girl zoomed back into the room for her pants and shoes and zoomed right back out pulling her pants on as she walked.

As fast as the girl moved the Killjoy couldn't help but notice the grin of enormous proportion that was plastered on her face, ear to ear. The excitement at the idea of tinkering with electronics and explosives for the race proved she was already one of the Fab, Faded's heart clenched at that epiphany. She had the last of the Fabulous Killjoys under her care; the kid really was a lot like Kobra Kid and Jet.

She went to her bike and rolled it out of the dinner through the main entrance, she could see Retro Viral and the Doc having a cup of Joe with Marauder and she smiled at the group before heading outside and lighting a cigarette. The woman took a few puffs and put it out carefully before tucking it back in the pack. Small luxuries like smoking were rare and no where near cheap, the couple cartons of smokes in her pack cost her a couple gallons of water and six batteries.

They had gotten news of the race just a few hours after they dusted the pursuit team and got the kid to the diner, it was being held at the Hyper Thrust and for once the team was grateful they had to leave their hideout for a day. She leaned on the blue and green bike and waited for the others to pile into the vans, it had been days since Faded had taken a high-speed ride on her Frankenstein beauty. Pulling on the semi translucent purple scarf over her mouth and slipping on her copper rimmed aviators she mounted the motorcycle and sat back waiting for the team to finish putting the mobile radio together in the van.

Once Dr. Death Defying gave a thumbs up she revved the engine dramatically and make the tires screech before making her way down the road, since they were happy with the live sound effects they started to follow her as they made their way to the infamous Killjoy nightclub. In the Pony van Retro Viral and the Doc began the broad cast, the morning's Vulture View emission.

The reception at the race site would be strange at best and overpowering at worst, silently they all prayed for an awkward crowd greeting rather than any form of praise. Hell even disapproval and grudges were accepted, the words from the early morning broadcast still held the taste of bile on her tongue but Retro Viral put her thoughts aside and focused on the present and planned on enjoying the race. They had mourned their heroes, now it was time to party as a proper send off cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends.

A/N:
Hey, so here's part one of your Killjoy x-mas present. I know its not exactly merry but hey what the heck. This could be the only time I ever post a double update because, well I've been MIA here or slacking off reading shit tons of FrostIron fics and lurking Scud fics (Blade 2).

I've finally got a schedule worked out and I'm fixing up a few chapters the were meant to be one and spanned into three or I just might leave it as a three part chappy.. Idk I started editing already.
Anywho enjoy and expect Planetary by January. I've got an evil plot bunny threatening me with vaporizing my muse a la evil!Loki so I have to work out a playlist for an Avengers fic but only after I finish my Scud/Blade one.

'We'll Carry On' is postponed until I can get to the Avengers fic.

PLEASE COMMENT! I NEED FEEDBACK LIKE LOKI NEEDS A SHRINK AND GERARD NEEDS ART! Reviews are to me as recklessness is to Tony Stark, I need them to survive! otherwise I'm not me :)

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and enjoy the misery.
Keep it Ugly, dust angels.