Author's Note - Man, I'm on a roll. The ideas just keep flowing out and I must type! It's actually kinda scary... Oh well! Anyway, want to see what happens when two Uzumaki, teenage boys have to be around each other for a long period of time? Hilarity and jealousy, that's what! Also, I think you guys are going to love the one-liners that Beni and Inojin spill out every time they show up! Also, I wrote in a little something, something in the middle of the chapter! Hope you guys like it! On to the story!
Chapter 3: Don't Waste Money, Boruto
Takashi
"So, are you and Mira like, dating or something?"
It was questions like that that made Takashi want to curse Mom for her great beauty. Then curse her again for blessing her daughters with it. Ever since Mira graduated the academy, every guy she met that didn't know that her mama was the Hokage or that her daddy was the Jonin Commander would ask these questions to him! Oh no, not to her, because she was scary. But to him because these idiots couldn't put two and two together. They failed at figuring out that, shit, that's not her boyfriend. No, he was her twin brother. Normally, his deadpanned and sharp toned 'I'm her twin' sent whoever asked packing but since he couldn't actually say that…
"No." Yep, short, sweet and to the point.
"Taka and Mira? Together? Ew!" Leave it to Benihime to articulate a perfect response to that ludicrous question. Really, people only see the hair and think, oh those two can't possibly be twins. Idiots, he was surrounded by idiots. Except for Beni, of course.
"Ok, geeze, sorry I asked." Boruto said before inching away from the two other Uzumakis, Taka's frowning face making him appear stand-off ish. Yeah, he should probably be acting bubblier and smile and shit but he had Beni with him who was Uzumaki enough for the both of them. And judging by the place of the sun, yep, 3:30, time for his afternoon nap. He was still ticked off that he didn't get his 10:00 nap this morning when Grandma Yoshino busted into his room and dragged him outside to 'go help your sisters to feed the fawns, Takashi! Don't you dare say troublesome, young man! I swear, you are just as lazy as your father!' She really should know by now that call him lazy was actually a compliment.
Back to his 3:30 nap. He was going to have to miss it, again. Ugh, what a drag. What did he do in a past life to deserve this? Honestly, Taka doesn't ask for much. Just give him nap time and fuinjutsu and you got yourself one happy Chunin. Now he had neither, which sucked. No wonder Dad used to envy clouds.
"-What, Ow! Get her off of me!" Boruto's screaming brought him out of his daydreaming to realize that Beni had left his back and jumped onto Boruto's. She was pulling his hair quite furiously for a seven-year-old and she looked pissed! Like her hair was forming nine hair tails pissed! Quickly, Taka snatched her up by the back of her collar. Boruto sighed in relief as he inched even further away from the mini she-fox.
"Let me go! Let me at'him!" She was still kicking and trying to grab the other boy. Taka leveled a glare at Boruto.
"What did you do?" He asked even though he really didn't want to know the answer.
"Nothing! Why does everyone keep blaming me for stuff? I was just talking and she attacked me, the little demon."
Oh, oh that was the wrong word to say in front of Takashi Nara Uzumaki. You see, unless you are scared from a nightmare and telling Mommy and Daddy that there are demons under your bed who want eat a baby Kurama and kidnap Mr. Fluffy the Deer (cough, Beni and Motoko, cough), the word demon isn't utter in the Nara compound and certainly not in front of Lord Nara or any of his children.
Dad's genin team, Team 4, had once told Mira and Taka about their first C-Rank. Naturally, something went wrong and they were surrounded and everything looked bleak. Then the leader, who had been a civilian-born missing-nin from Konoha, figured out who Dad was and who he was married to. As the story goes, Dad single-handedly strangled 20 missing-nin with his shadow before spearing the rest for calling Mom, quote, 'Konoha's Demon Whore.' In a span of one minute. Retsu said that they've never seen Dad so angry and so terrifying in their entire lives. Kaien and Daisuke didn't act up for a straight three weeks because they didn't want to trigger 'The Shadow Man'. Duh, duh, DUH!
Since Taka couldn't show Boruto a reenactment of C-Rank Gone Wrong #342, he lifted Beni so that she was eye-level with him before saying as honestly as possible,
"You should have hit him below the belt."
…Aunt Hinata? Mom's male-self bagged Aunt Hinata to be his wife?! Dah Hell?! Thankfully, Taka kept his mouth from dropping because this was freaking him the fuck out. How in the- you know what, Taka didn't even want to know how this union occurred nor could he fathom why she was a housewife.
Aunt Hinata was awesome. She was an absolute cinnamon roll who need to be protected at all cost from those who wished to even dare harm such an angel on earth (these were Mom's words, not his but the statement still stands!) Not that Aunt Hinata needed protection, seeing as she was a kick-ass kunoichi, the Head of the Hyuga Clan and had the best bodyguards ever in the form of her husband and Akamaru.
But this Aunt Hinata, wore cargo shorts and a hoodie. The least Taka's ever seen her wear was a yukata and that was after she gave birth to Kenji's little sister, Hisana. Nope, this was wrong. This dimension was seriously fucked up if they had Hinata Hyuga, The Ender of the Bird Cage Seal and The Bridge of the Hyuga Clan, as the 7th Hokage's housewife. And no, Taka was by no means a feminist (he shuttered at the horror of the idea) but even he was angered that this inspirational woman had become this domesticated copycat.
"Oh, your hair is really pretty!" Thank the deities for Beni and all-powerful Talk no Jutsu. "Hi, I'm Benihime Uzumaki, but you can call me Beni! This is my big brother, Takashi! What's your name?"
"Oh, I'm Hinata Uzu- wait, did you just say Uzumaki?" Aunt Hinata asked, her white eyes even wider than usual as a whiskered mini-me with blue eyes popped out from behind her.
"Surprise, Mom." Boruto faked shock before reaching out and patting the blue-haired chipmunk. "Sup, Hima. Mom, what's for lunch? I'm starving." (Boruto must not have realized that it was way too late for lunch and far closer to dinner time.) He tried to circle past his mom when her hand caught the back of his collar. Taka and Beni tried to stifle their chuckles as the other blonde choked and spattered about. A red glow of evil thoughts surrounded Aunt Hinata's body, which was as comforting as it was scary.
"Everyone, living room, now! Boruto, what did you do?"
"Nothing! God! Why is everyone always blaming me for shit? Ow! Mom!"
"Boruto said a bad word! Boruto said a bad word!"
"Oh shut up, Hima!" Man, these guys are troublesome. I wonder if Mom and Dad know that we're missing.
Meanwhile: In Konoha 2.0
Sarada
It was a peaceful day in Konoha 2.0 (which shall be known as 2.0 from now on.) The ninjas were training, the civilians were shopping, the genin were failing to catch Tora. All was right in the vill-
"What do you mean my children are missing?" Ok, so all was not right in the village as the remainder of the Konoha 12 plus their offspring and their senseis squeezed into the Lady Hokage's office. Aunt Naruto and Uncle Shikamaru were the furthest thing from happy that Sarada's ever seen and they were terrifying.
Aunt Naruto was naturally a loud woman. She talked a lot, was optimistic about everything, and had a mischievous side twice the size of Konoha. She was funny, sometimes slow to anger (depending on the situation) and a whole lot smarter than everyone gave her credit for. But when someone upsets her and her family, she didn't get upset, she gets even.
So, Aunt Naruto being this quiet was absolutely terrifying. Her question had been spoken softly, as if she didn't hear the statement properly. Her eyes were closed and her smile was frighteningly beautiful. But what was really making the four genin (and near everyone else in the office) quaking with fear, was the suffocating amount of killing intent that was leaking out her like a waterfall. No, Aunt Naruto wasn't pissed. She was beyond that a long time ago!
"We said Taka and the girls are gone." Mark Sarada's words, Inojin's lack of a filter was going to get him killed one day.
"Gone?" Aunt Naruto parroted softly. Uncle Shikamaru, who was as upset as his wife, stood behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, wrinkling her Hokage cape. Her left hand shot up to lace her fingers with his. Her right hand was fisted tightly on the arm of her chair.
"Gone, as in vanished, missing, disappeared… I'm going to shut up now." Yeah, you do that, Inojin. Only Inojin could piss off the Hokage and her Commander in a time like this and still live to see another day.
"So, now what?" Kenji broke the tense silence, his dog, Hyorinmaru, barking in agreement from his spot on his master's head.
Tick, tock, tick.
Chaos ensued.
"Should I go sniff them out?"
"My beetles cannot sense them, why, I do not know."
"Inojin, link minds with me this instant!"
"Alright, let's just all calm-"
"OH, MY LOYAL AND DEPEDICATED STUDENTS HAVE GONE MISSING IN THE MOST UNYOUTHFUL WAY! METAL, IF WE CAN NOT FIND THEM, WE SHALL DO-"
The sound of metal shattering had sound off the walls as the room completely blacken, encased by pitch black shadows. As quickly as they came, the shadows receded back to Uncle Shikamaru. Distracted by the shouting match, Sarada failed to notice that the couple were standing. At their feet was Aunt Naruto's metal desk, made of the newest shinobi-proof technology so that it could with stand any beating. But Aunt Naruto wasn't your average shinobi and the desk shattered faster then Sarada could physically blink.
Uncle Shikamaru had put his back to the large group, shielding his wife from view as he whispered softly to her. What he was saying, Sarada couldn't tell. Aunt Naruto's hands, which had fisted tightly into the back of his vest to stop them from shaking, loosened their grip. Even with his back to her, Sarada could tell that Uncle Shikamaru that he had leaned down to kiss his wife. And if they embraced for a little longer than normal, no one commented. They needed a moment.
"We'll get them back. They're our kids. Most importantly, they're your babies. The twins are probably wreaking havoc as we speak with Benihime and Motoko spearheading the operation." That got a watery laugh out of Aunt Naruto. "They'll be fine." With that, he wiped the rest of her tears away and moved to his normal spot, right by her side. She sniffed once before straightening up. Their Hokage was back.
"Right, Team 10, report! What was the seal that Chunin Uzumaki was investigating?" The Lady Hokage ordered and everyone's back straightened. Inojin and Chocho stepped forward and bowed.
"Ma'am, we believe that it was a combination between an Uzumaki circle and the Flying Thunder God seal!" Chocho reported out quickly. Please forgive me, Mira, but I've got to squeal on you.
"It was Chunin Nara's idea, Ma'am." The adults all turned to look at Sarada but she stood tall. Kenji and the others looked at her like she's lost her marbles, though.
"Genin Uchiha?" The Lady Seventh asked, urging her to continue.
"Ma'am, Chunin Nara had made a bet with Chunin Uzumaki to see who could create a signature move first. Chunin Nara wanted to create a new attack with her lightning and yin release while Chunin Uzumaki wanted to see if combination the Flying Thunder God seal with an Uzumaki circle could enhance its speed and teleportation capabilities." Silence. Aunt Naruto and Uncle Shikamaru locked eyes, the message 'They are in so much trouble!' rang as clear as day.
"Lazy Husband?"
"Yes, Troublesome Wife?"
"Remind me to have the twins on both deer patrol and gate patrol for the next, I don't know, six-months."
"Of course, might I suggest adding a few unsavory D-Ranks in as well?"
"Oh, great idea, I knew there was a reason I kept you around. Let's go find our kids." Damn! Oops. Sorry guys.
"Oh, and Teams 7 and 10, thank you for volunteering yourselves in helping your squad leaders with their D-Ranks." Ah, fuck. She knows! As the two teams left the office building, Sarada felt their stares.
"What?" She asked and turned to face their shocked expressions. Kenji stepped forward, with Chocho and Inojin looking on.
"You know, I think I speak for everyone when I say, I can't believe you, Sarada Uchiha, did something to get Takashi in trouble!" She felt her cheeks redden as she glared at her annoying friends.
"For the last time, I don't have a crush on Takashi!"
To Konoha 1.0
Boruto
It should be illegal to be blamed for the amount of shit that people blame him for today. Like, seriously, you cheat one time in the final match of the Chunin Exams and everyone automatically thinks you're the bad guy. Hello! Shinobi! Cheating is kinda in the name!
Whatever. Back to the situation at hand. Mom was handling the new Uzumakis better than he thought. After seeing the 'Really Scary Glow of Doom!' (Duh, duh, DUH!), Boruto was sure that he wasn't going to live to see dinner. Luckily, the redette, Benihime, charmed Mom with her endless smiles and unstoppable talking. Man, does the kid even breathe between sentences?
"And that's why we're here! Thank you for having us!" Beni finished with a huge grin, the gold in her eyes shining. She sat on her brother's knees as he reclined back on the sofa, his arms crossed against his chest. Takashi was silent through most of the conversation, interrupting only when Beni got too of track. Himawari, who was between him and Mom on the other sofa, looked excited. Almost too excited, like so excited that Boruto should sleep with one eye open, excited.
"Wow! You know fuinjutsu?" Hima asked Taka, so nodded back stoically. "Can you teach me?!"
What?! What is this?! This guy isn't even here a day and his little sister wants to taking sealing lessons from him?! Oh, that is so unfair!
"You should probably ask Lord Hokage first." Taka said back, actually cracking a smile. Ugh, Boruto hated it when other people reminded him that his dad was the Hokage. And seeing how formal this guy was, he was going to be hearing it a lot. Great…
"Well, now that that's all settled, how about I make us a snack before dinner? Any requests?" Mom asked politely, her soft smile back on her face.
"Ramen!" Yep, Beni was your stereotypical Uzumaki. But then her brother's hand covered her mouth gently and he scolded,
"It's not Friday and you've already convinced Lord Sixth to get you some tomorrow. What would Mom say if she found out you had more ramen then you should?"
"Good job?"
"…Ok, good point. What would Dad say?"
"Ok, never mind. Can I have miso instead?" Beni asked Mom again, who nodded back and headed back to the kitchen. After she left, Hima looked to Beni and asked,
"Do you want to play?"
"Yeah! Let's go!" Boruto blinked and the girls were already gone. For some reason, he felt that there was an unholy disturbance in the universe. That can't be good.
"Well," Taka yawned. "now that Beni's occupied, I can nap in peace."
"Nap? Dude, you sure you're an Uzumaki?"
"Yep."
"We don't nap."
"Says you. My mom naps every afternoon if she can. Now be quiet, you're loud." And with that, Taka fully reclined back on the couch, his head pillowed in his folded arms and was out like a light. Well that's just plain rude.
He should know better than to fall asleep on a Uzumaki. A mischievous smile spread across Boruto's face. He inched closer, the black object firmly in his hand. He hovered over Taka's face, arm raised when-
"Permanent marker? Dude, you need to do better than that if you're going to ink someone's face." Taka commented with one eye open, his hand holding Boruto's wrist with the pen. He moved fast, Boruto realized. For a guy almost as lazy as Shikadai, this guy was quick.
"How did you-"
"You've met my sister. She's an evil genius when it comes to pranks. No one's safe. Except for Grandma and Granny but they're vicious." Taka's sarcastic words made Boruto pale drastically. Had he really just left Hima alone with a prank genius? Oh no...
"Do you need something or can I go back to sleep now?"
"I-"
"Boruto! Get out here now!" Oh, Sarada found him. Perfect timing!
"Come on, you can meet my teammate." Boruto tried to come off as 'I already knew she was there' but Taka's eyeroll showed how much he believed it. Tch, dick. Boruto opened the door to find Sarada waiting on the step, her foot tapping impatiently. She glared at him through her lenses. Great, what did he do now?
"You forgot this." Sarada said, chucking his Kote at him. There it was, the reason he lost the Chunin Exams. And it was empty. He must have left it at Shikadai's house.
"I shouldn't even be giving this back to you, but I'm…" Sarada started but trailed off. She was staring over his shoulder. Boruto turned to look and there was Taka. He was- holding the Kote! Yep, the guy had snatched the Kote out of his hand without him even noticing. Just how fast was this guy?
"Hey! Give that back!" Boruto yelled as he tried to jump the other blonde.
Ow! Boruto sat up, rubbing his sore chin and turned to glare at Taka. He stood in the front yard now with the Kote still in his grasp. Sarada was staring at Taka full on now, her jaw dropped.
Taka held the tool up with one hand, letting the light reflect it. He turned it and flipped it over. There was scowl on his face. Then, he broke it!
"Dude, you broke it!" Boruto yelled as he charged at him, eyes closed from fury. Something pressed against his head and it felt like he was running in place. And he was, because Taka had reached out with his left hand and was pushing Boruto back without breaking a sweat.
"Calm down, I didn't break it. I'm looking at the inner workings of this thing." And yeah, it's true, it wasn't broken. Taka had just taken of the huge screw like lens. He was like a watchmaker, the way he was examining the tool's machinery.
"It's like a cheap cope out of fuinjutsu!" Taka determined as he picked at it, having let go of Boruto. Sarada had walked over to get view as Taka sat and laid the tool in front of him.
"The chamber works as a chakra reactor. Once the scroll is in place, the user needs to focus his chakra into his forearm. That hits the reader in the armband, which triggers the chamber to activate the scroll, releasing whatever jutsu you had sorted in it." …Amazing, he only looked at it for what, a minute, and he already understood the tool as well as the manufacture.
"Tsk, what a waste of money." Taka exclaimed before tossing the repaired Kote over his shoulder. His aim was impressive, because it landed in the conveniently open trashcan.
"Ah!" And naturally, Boruto dove after it and found out that what three-day old eggs smelled and tasted like.
"Bah! Gross! What the hell, man? That's my Kote!" Boruto snarled. Normally, when he did that people flinched back. But this guy, he stared back at him with a 'Really, that all you got?' stare and rolled his eyes.
"You're an Uzumaki. You don't need that thing. Now, if you could repeatedly use the jutsu in the scroll over and over again, then knock yourself out. But that gadget is a one trick pony. It isn't something you should be wasting your money on. Use your fuinjutsu." Taka stated firmly as he stood up, brushing the dirt off his pants. He was about to turn back to the house, hands stuffed in his pockets when Boruto snapped back,
"Don't have any." Taka froze before turning back to face him. Boruto tightened his grip on the Kote but had to smirk. It was nice to get one over on the smartass.
"Really?" Taka questioned, his eyes narrow again. Sarada, man, she was still there? Sarada coughed dramatically, getting their attention.
"Boruto doesn't know fuinjutsu. He specializes firmly in ninjutsu." Sarada explained. Taka nodded before holding out his right hand to her.
"Takashi Uzumaki." She looked shocked, her eyes flickering between the two blondes, before finding her nerve. She shook his hand.
"Sarada Uchiha, please to meet you, Takashi." Was that? It was! She was blushing! No, Sarada! Not you too! Boruto was really starting to hate this guy.
"Call me Taka. You too, Boruto."
"Boruto, why is the door- Oh, hello, Sarada." Mom called from the open door.
"Hello, Auntie, how are you?"
"I'm good, thank you for asking. Sarada, would you like to join us? I just finished making miso."
"No, thank you, I got go home for dinner. I'll see you tomorrow, Boruto. Don't be late for practice this time." Hay! "Nice meeting you, Taka." And with that, she was off. Taka stared after her, watching as she disappeared down the street before he smirked.
Boruto narrowed his eyes as the guy walked into the house. There was something about this guy that just wasn't still right. But what?
Author's Note - So, what do you guys think? BoruSara or TakaSara? (And which version of Sarada? Decisions, decisions.) Or how about nothing but cheeky humor because, you know, they're twelve... I mean seriously, unless you have the patience of Sakura or are my version of Naruto and Shikamaru (aka, completely perfect for one another and it took them forever to get together) crushes fade and die. Well, I guess I should let you guys comment on what you guys want! I may even write it! But you'll never know unless you review! So, review, favorite and follow! Thanks guys, love you guys so much! See you guys next time!
-V. I. Winthrop