Day 10

I awoke with a dull ache in my heart and a fury in my eyes. Confused, I got up slowly and looked around me in sadness. Nathan, Jackson and Lex were all asleep, snoring and sighing. I sighed myself. I was heartbroken.

Meg didn't like me back. She scoffed at me. She thought I was annoying, a jerk-face, clueless, and God knows what else. She wanted me to be with Taylor, but she hated me so much she didn't really care. She didn't know how she felt about dancing with me. She didn't like me as a friend, much less love me. I was alone. I had never been rejected by any girl before.

What's more, she knows everything that is going on. She feigns ignorance so her cover is not blown, but I can see through the disguise. She could have saved me from the oysters. I wasn't just imagining things. It wasn't what I had originally thought (although I had never admitted this to myself) that she had feelings for me and therefore was more worried about me than everyone else. She actually knew that I could die if I ate the oysters, and was too selfish about her secret to fricking tell me. She hated me. She knew everything about me from that weird-ass show, and she hated me. I wanted to scream. I didn't fully understand why the facts hurt so bad that I wanted to kill me. All I knew was that I was in sheer, unbearable pain and it was her fault.

And Jackson's tape, necessary to watch to cheer me up, confirmed everything. She knew everything that had been on his tape. This meant that she had watched some scary show about us before coming. And his stupid tape hadn't even cheered me up. And I knew that Lex had been watching behind me, but I didn't know if I should have grabbed him or let him watch. I let him watch. I didn't show any of my agonizing pain; however, I waited until I was far off.

And now today everyone would know these secrets, apparently. I was excited for Meg to be in pain, as much pain as I was in, hopefully. The dull ache in my heart grew as New Eric sat in a corner, endlessly upset, and Old Eric did a happy dance in triumph.

I got up out of the tent, ready for the showdown.

F29DWN

Lex, the little rat, had ratted me out to Meg. I saw the eye flickering during the first confrontation, and I was upset. I also had been in relatively close proximity to Meg during the whole thing, and my heart rate had sped up accordingly. I could barely breathe when her hair tickled my shoulder. I saw the upset in her eyes when Lex let her know, and I wanted to protect her, hold her… I was going nuts.

I heard a quarrel going on behind the plane and ran up to see what was going on.

"Wait, you think I took them?" I heard Lex gasp. I smirked in excitement. Here was the confrontation I had been waiting for. I jumped up behind the group and cried out, "I knew it!" I saw Daley and Nathan there, confronting Lex, who was sitting next to her. She gave me a death glare. I smirked back, hiding my troubled soul. Lex ran away.

"You can run but you can't hide!" I laughed at his retreating back.

"Don't tell anyone about this, guys," Daley pleaded to Meg and me. I smirked.

"My lips are sealed," although I knew I was just running off to tell people. I heard their doubtful laments behind me.

F29DWN

I came up with my new allies to the tree where Meg and Lex were hiding.

"Come down from there!" all of us called. Meg looked over to Lex and murmured something. They talked for a bit, and then jumped down from the tree. Meg landed smoothly to her feet, and my breath hitched briefly before I remembered that she hated me, so I hated her.

"Give back the tapes!" someone cried.

"How could you?"

"I just want my tape back!"

"You can run but you can't hide!" I jutted in with a smirk. I heard a soft groan come over from her direction, and guilt embraced my soul.

"Woah! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Meg snapped. She embraced the boy, glaring at me so badly that New Eric got up, shoved Old Eric aside and told me to take charge. But I didn't. Old Eric was still a huge part of me.

Nathan and Daley came up then, muttering, "Yeah!"

"You guys are too much," Daley nodded, pulling Lex into a protective hug.

"I say we have a trial," I nodded, now taking the path of the show.

"Please," Nathan rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"No, a trial's good," Jackson nodded in agreement. I mentally thanked our violent leader.

"Besides, three of us already know there's going to be a trial. And who took the tapes. And some secrets," I smirked over at Meg, challenging her. It had become a contest between me and her, and Old Eric gladly took on the challenge to avenge the pain I felt.

"Leave him alone," she growled menacingly, her eyes bearing daggers into my soul.

"According to…" I began, but she cut me off angrily.

"DON'T!!" she screamed.

"It's inevitable," I nodded, my face growing soft again. I saw the way her soul squirmed underneath my torture, and I felt horrible. Well, almost horrible. Guilty was a better word.

"That doesn't mean I like it," she sneered at me in self defense. I knew that I couldn't stop the torture now.

F29DWN

Ah, the trial. One of the most triumphant moments in my life, or at least, one of the most triumphant moments in Old Eric's life. New Eric looked on it with a sneer. Of course, we don't need to go through most of it, but I'll cut to the scene where Meg was under questioning.

"I call to the witness stand," Daley began, "Meg (name omitted.)"

Meg looked insanely shocked, and I smirked again. She was under my torture. It was pure revenge for the pain she had caused me.

She didn't know she was causing you this pain, New Eric replied sadly.

But she did, Old Eric sneered.

"Um… okay," she sat down, squirming now. She proceeded to murmur, "I'm telling the truth.

"And what's even more excellent, I'll know if you're lying," I cackled. I was so in my element.

"Ha," she sneered back, but I saw the flicker of intense hatred and pain in her eyes behind the indifference. A huge pain struck my heart and I backed down a bit.

"Meg, we all know you're hiding something. So far, it obviously hasn't hurt the group so none of us questioned it. But now we're starting to see your secret get serious. Now, I know you didn't' take the tapes because you were with me the whole time. But… do you know who did take the tapes?" Daley inquired. She was acting kindly and apologetically towards Meg, whereas I had acted like a giant, sneering jerk. Another pain tore my heart.

"Yeah," Meg continued to squirm in her seat.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Daley asked softly.

"Because of a promise I made to myself. And if you want to find out what it is, don't worry, you're going to," Meg grumbled, glaring at me. More guilt tore through.

"Is the thief Lex?" Daley finally sighed. Here it goes, I thought, the moment of truth.

"Yeah," she muttered. So she did tell the truth. I was flabbergasted. I didn't explode into protests, although the rest of the group did.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Are you in on this?"

"What more do you know?"

"But he took them for a good reason! Not to watch them!" she snarled, finally managing to talk through the anger, "tell them, Lex!"

Lex stood up angrily, "Yeah, I took them! But it was to keep them from you, Eric!"

I gasped. This was suddenly my trial.

"Yesterday I saw something I shouldn't have. Eric was watching some tapes, and I came up behind him. I was as bad as Eric, I know. On the tapes were some secrets I shouldn't have known. This is why I took the tapes. And I don't want these secrets to be revealed!" he said, staring at me with a glare.

"You watched them too, over my shoulder no less you little…!" I gasped.

"Eric!" everyone yelled at me. But I was fuming by now.

"Yes, fine, I watched some tapes. But I'm glad I did- I found out some stuff that scared me!" I spat.

"Who is this about?" Nathan asked.

"Jackson," everyone gasped, "and Meg," I smirked. Time to turn the tables again.

More gasps erupted from the group.

"And so it begins," Meg rolled her enchanting eyes at me

. "Don't tell them, Eric," Lex gasped.

"He's going to," she sighed.

"I might as well try to stop him!" Lex cried.

"Don't bother. I tried too- remember Day 6? I can't change fate, and nor can you," Meg sighed. Everyone stared at them in confusion, and I sat back with a smirk.

"Just show my tape- the whole thing, or you'll be confused- and that section of Jackson's," Meg continued, "but bye," and she jumped over the plane, walked across the wing, and jumped off. She was gone in seconds. I gaped at her retreating form, New Eric pushing at me to follow and hold her back. With her, I somehow realized, left any chance I had of ever being with her. Old Eric rejoiced.

"Wait! Meg!" Lex called.

"Um… if Meg says so… go get the tapes, Lex," Melissa whispered. Lex ran and got them. He grudgingly put her tape in the camera.

As it started, I sat back against the plane. Half of me did a triumphant dance.

The other half sobbed.

F29DWN

After the movie, no one hated Meg. I was upset about that. It wasn't fair. I totally got her, and I was the one in trouble? It wasn't fair. But that was the worst of my problems: I was lost in the jungle.

I wandered around that dense forest, calling out Melissa's name, trying to find my way. I was lost. I was going to die, out here, in the jungle. And I was not happy about that.

New Eric was even less happy about the prospect of not being able to ever apologize to Meg. A dull ache entered my heart, and I considered just curling up and sleeping, but of course that was a stupid idea. I had to keep on trying to live.

"Where are you going, idiot?" I heard Jackson behind me. Startled, I got up and gaped at him.

"Dude! I found you!" I exclaimed happily.

"Um, I think I found you," he retorted.

"Whatever," I shrugged, for it was a mere technicality, "We've got to go back to camp!"

"No, you've got to go back to camp. I'm going to look for the others," Jackson shrugged.

"No, you've got to come back, dude! Okay, look, I'm sorry. It was a mistake to show your tape, alright? I should have read the warning signs. The group needs you."

"No, what the group needs is a good kick in the pants," Jackson snapped, "I'll show you the way back, because you're obviously lost, but then I'm going. And if you see Meg, you can tell her where I am and that I'm asking her to come with."

Jealousy filled my soul, "Why would she want to do that?"

"Oh, I don't know," Jackson snapped, "Maybe because you've ruined her life like you've ruined mine? Jesus, Eric, you need to get some tact. And gumption. But mostly tact," Jackson sighed. We continued through the jungle silently, him allowing his words to marinate in the air.

"Do you really think that by showing her tape you have a chance with her? You idiot," Jackson finally snapped again.

"I… that's not why…" I snarled, "Why would I ever want to be with Meg?" Old Eric took charge, he was (after all) better at the whole fighting thing.

"You idiot, you don't even know your own feelings. Or you do, and you just don't want to parade them around. Whatever. If you want to be with Meg, you know perfectly well that the thing to have done was to watch her tape, and do the mature thing and not show it. She'd be all over you if that's what you had done," Jackson continued, "and now you basically have as much chance of being with her as you have being with Jessica Simpson."

I glared at him briefly, and then continued walking.

"She was smart, you know. You needed a wake up call with those oysters. And just because she didn't parade it around on her tape doesn't mean that she doesn't have feelings for you. Or, I should say, didn't," Jackson continued.

I glared a little bit longer at him and continued walking, trying to ignore the harsh sting of his words.

"Meg isn't like other girls, Eric. She doesn't admire money or hotness or cockiness. She isn't into guys who act like they own the world. She the kind who likes guys who are sincere, kind and loving. She knew you were going to watch the tapes. If you hadn't done anything about it, like I've said, she would be yours right now. She would have know that you didn't do anything, confronted you about it, and when you told her you decided to do the right thing you would probably be making out with her on some log right now. But because you did the stupid, jealous thing, you'll never even be her friend," Jackson concluded.

"SHUT UP," I screamed at him, "JUST SHUT UP." I couldn't handle any more of these words.

He shrugged, and we walked on in silence.

F29DWN

When I came, triumphantly, into the tent, everyone gaped at me. Meg wouldn't meet my gaze and more and more I realized how right Jackson's harsh words were.

"Where's Jackson?" they all asked me eagerly.

"No sweat," I shrugged, trying to regain my moment of triumph, "He's… behind me…" but then I saw that Jackson was gone, he had disappeared. "Oh shit."

Melissa then rushed out at Meg's urging. I watched as Meg smiled at her retreating back, looked up at me, and glared. Her piercing gaze caused all my defenses to go down. I was ashamed of myself.

We all went outside and managed to coax Jackson back as the storm continued to rage. When I went inside the small, crowded tent, I curled up in a corner by myself, pain streaking through my heart, and slowly fell asleep.

(2, 495 words)