Hi guys, as some of you may be aware I am going on holiday to Greece for two weeks on the 8th of August. This means that this will be the last chapter I post before I go away - this is so I have a chapter written and ready for you guys that I can quickly post. I hope you're all having a great summer and don't forget to vote and comment telling me what you thought of the chapter also, like I've been doing on Instagram - leave your comment as usual, then put #team[and add your favourite character] - this will help for future storylines? ﾟﾘﾏ
Love you all,
Freya ❤️
"How is he?" Natalie Manning asked and she came up behind Gabby and put her arm around her shoulder.
Gabby had spend a short amount of time in Matt's room as soon as they where aloud in, Jamie on the other hand was completely the opposite. He hadn't left his father's side in the whole time he had been in the room. Although he hadn't been talking, more or less as soon as they saw him, Jamie laid beside Matt and fell asleep with his head on his father's shoulder. Gabby didn't blame him, it was a long day and she knew deep down he wouldn't sleep until he was with him. Gabby was staring though the plastic window, that separated the room where her husband lay silently and the hustle and bustle of the corridor, and tiredly watched her son sleep peacefully beside him. "You're the doctor, you tell me." Gabby replied quietly. She knew she sounded blunt but it was times like this when she just didn't care.
"We're all hopeful Gabby." She sighed as she rubbed her hand up and down Gabby's back. "He's gunna pull through and you and Jamie are going to have him back."
"But what if he doesn't." She whispered as she tired with everything she had to fight back the tears that where burning the back of her eyes. She hadn't cried at all after the moment she found out what had happened. She was pretty sure that it was down to the fact that Jamie was with her and she hated when he saw her upset. She hated it because she knew that he shouldn't have to see her like that, and it annoyed her that she wasn't able to control her emotions one hundred percent of the time.
"He's going to make it through and you know that." Dr Manning smiled as she spoke to try and make Gabby feel less worried. "Why don't you go in there, and be with him and Jamie?"
Gabby turned around finally so she was able to look at her. "I can't, I can't see him like that." She whispered as she tried to stop the tears from coming. "Just all the cuts on his face and the bruises, I just-"
"Hey, come here." Natalie exclaimed as she pulled Gabby in for a tight hug. "He's going to be okay!" She could feel Gabby shaking as she let her guard down slightly; her emotions slowly starting to leak out. Although she wasn't sobbing, Natt knew she was crying. It was good that she was letting out her emotions. Suddenly a beep came from Natalie's pocket and it made Gabby retract from her position next to her. "Look I gotta go." She said as she began to walk away. "How about you try and get some sleep, you look like you need it." turned and headed down the corridor before she diverted down one of the many corridors.
Gabby knew she was right, what everyone was saying was right but that didn't mean she had to listed to them. The pit she was feeling at the bottom of her stomach was the one thing that was stopping her from going back into the room. She had an overwhelming feeling that this whole accident was her fault, that she should've been there when it happened instead of being at the District with Antonio, she should've been with her husband. It angered her that she wasn't there to save his life because of he wouldn't have made it, she never would've been able to say goodbye and that she loved him more than anything.
Gabby lifted her eyes from the floor and looked through the window at her family. Her whole body felt like it was getting heavier as she thought of how Jamie must be feeling. It made her feel horrible as she thought about it because Jamie was the most beautiful and precious child she'd ever known, and she was so proud that she was his mother. He was strong, single minded, intelligent and the care and compassion he held for all of the people close to him was incredible for a boy of his age. Everyone knew that Jamie was special, that he wasn't like other children in his age group and in some ways it made people respect him more. Jamie was trusted in more ways than people knew by Matt and Gabby, and the fact that he didn't act like a spoilt only child, even though he didn't have any siblings, was part of his gracious nature.
Jamie looked so peaceful as he slept with his head rested in Matt's shoulder. When they entered the room for the first time, still clutching his mothers hand, Jamie stopped and took in the sight. Matt was lying motionlessly in the bed with a bandage wrapped round his head and arm because of the lacerations he had accumulated; his right leg was bound in a white cast and rested lightly on top of the blanket that was laid gently on top of him. Although you couldn't see it, there was a big purple bruise covering the whole of the left side of his chest because of the amount broken ribs he had. This was all on top of his blood stained face that was littered with small, and some large, cuts that had been caused by the glass that had smashed on impact.
The corridor was eerily quiet now and at this very moment, Gabby had never felt so alone. She knew that she could go back to the waiting room and be with the rest of the team, but the silence seemed slightly comforting. She let her mind wander as she briefly closed her eyes and prayed that she'd be able to see Matt's bright blue eyes and his phenomenal smile once more; also that she would have the chance once more to tell him how much he really meant to her.
The fire house was the quietist it's had ever been in the sixteen years it'd been open. The Squad members where out sitting at their table, some skim reading the fire fighter magazines to look like they where doing something even though their minds where else where. Some of them were cleaning out the tools, again for something to do. However, Severide hadn't left his office for anything other than a call, which the first one of the shift hadn't appeared. The whole team hadn't wanted to ask him what was wrong because they where all on the same page. It was the first shift back after the accident and everyone had returned back to work. Rightly, Gabby had been given leave so she could be with Matt and Jamie, and so Brett had taken charge of Ambulance 61. Danny was still the candidate on 61 but over the recent weeks she had really been stepping up to the plate and proving herself. Brett had slowly begun to trust her and now with Gabby off, Sylvie felt comfortable with Santiago working alongside her. However, when they returned to 51 after the accident, cleaning out the back of the Ambo was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. As Brett and Danny scrubbed the floor, which was drenched in blood and covered with bright read gauze and packaging, Brett's mind wandered back to when she had been kidnapped and Matt came and saved her. Ever since then she had felt like she'd owed him this debt that she knew she would never be able to fulfil. But still this was her driving urge to help Matt fight for his life in back of the Ambo to Med; that on top of the fact that she knew Gabby and Jamie needed him - as well as the whole fire house.
Herrmann arrived outside Chief Boden's office after a slow walk from the common room. It seemed like no one had the energy for work today because everyone's thoughts where on Matt also to the fact that everyone was at the hospital until late. The common room was silent, apart from the TV that was quietly broadcasting the news into the room. That was the strangest thing out of this whole ordeal. 51 was a hustling and busting house that never stopped, it had a reputation for being the busiest house in the city, as well as having a brilliant hands-on chief and two superior lieutenants.
"Christopher, come in." Boden called as he stood up from his desk. He made his way round to the front and perched on the edge as Herrmann came in.
"You wanted to see me Chief?" He said quietly, only then raising his eyes to meet Boden's.
Chief picked up on the fact that Herrmann, the usually exuberant fire fighter and friend was suddenly so quiet. "How's everyone doing?" He asked. "More importantly how are you doing?"
Herrmann sighed as brought his and up to his face and ran his fingers though his short grey hair. "I'm not the one you should be worrying about." He said as he took a seat in the leather chairs in front of the chief.
"What do you mean?" Boden asked as he walked slowly over to the chair beside Herrmann and took a seat. "If you all need some more time you all know that you could've stayed at home."
"Yeah, we know." Chris sighed as he sat back in the chair and crossed his legs. "And you should be worrying about Cruz and Severide if you want my honest opinion. Cruz to the majority because he's blaming himself for the accident even though we all know that it wasn't his fault. He's just telling himself that if Casey doesn't make it, it'll be down to him."
"No charges are being pressed and the cameras are telling us that it was indeed an accident. He needs to get it out of his head. I'm sure that Severide's fine, he just is taking a bit of time to get over what he saw."
"You're right chief." Herrmann said now pushing himself up off the chair so he was standing and looking down at Boden. "But he did pull Matt's lifeless body out of that truck and watched his best friend code twice on the way to the hospital." He was starting to feel the rage and upset rise up his body. "We first responders have this image in the public eye that when it comes to accidents and fires, and we loose victims that we handle it like when a fly dies. No, you know as well as I do it affects us, even more when it's one of our own, our own lieutenant- the person we turn to when anything bad happens - gets injured and we're expected to deal with it silently!" He yelled, not caring that he was shouting at one of his oldest friends, even though he was his chief.
"There is help available and you all know that." Boden sighed. He knew that Herrmann was upset and so he decided to play it carefully around him. They all knew how much Matt meant to this fire house, now he was fighting for his life in a hospital bed was the last thing a group of firefighters needed. "If you don't feel like you can talk to a professional then you know you can talk to me." He said warmly.
"Yeah we know." Herrmann answered bluntly as he turned and headed for the office door.
"Herrmann." Boden said sharply making his friend look round. "I've got to tell you that Replacement Lieutenant Will Grover will be here in fifteen minutes. I know it's going to be hard but please make him feel welcome."
"Just like that," Herrmann spat. "Just like that you're dismissing any thought of Matt being in the hospital. He's fighting for his life and you don't seem to care!" He exclaimed as his anger was finally released.
"I'm trying to run my fire house-"
"So? Matt is a lieutenant in your firehouse! I don't care that you're two ranks above me. My boss, and friend is all I'm worried about at the moment, and if you expect me to be nice to that Jagoff of a lieutenant, one that is half the lieutenant Matt will ever be, even at his worst, you've got another thing coming." Herrmann said before he stalked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.
"Squad 3 - Truck 95 assist Lake street and Michigan." The klaxon called out over the sound of the TV, that was still the only thing that was giving the room any sound.
The Squad team jumped up off their seats by the table on the apparatus floor and jogged over towards the rig. Severide was the last to come out of the house. His shoulders where slouched and he didn't seem like he was in much of a hurry. Tony and the rest of the unit was waiting expectantly when Kelly climbed onto the cab, because he didn't say anything, they pulled away into the traffic and the lights and sirens sparked into action.
When Squad arrived on the scene, the person that had caused the accident was instantly identifiable. Severide felt anger flair up inside him, the same as it did whenever he thought about the driver who caused 81 to crash. Just able to keep his temper in check, he jumped out of the cab of the Squad rig as it came to a stop. "Tony, Capp, Newhouse I need the jaws and cribbing!" He shouted over the sound of the Truck Company already working their jaws and equipment. He turned to Clarke, " recon - I wanna know who's dead or alive in that other car, and also tell 95 that if they need anything, just radio over!"
"You got it lieutenant!" Clarke shouted as he sprinted over to the car that 95 where working on.
After ordering his men to their stations he continued over to the victim while his team worked around him. "Hi, what's your name?"
"Jack, Jack Pitcher!" Jack growled through the pain with his teeth gritted.
"I'm lieutenant Severide, we're gunna get you out of here okay?" The man nodded as he braced his hands on the steering wheel. He held it so tight his knuckles were white. "So what happened here then?" He asked trying to calm the victim down.
"He just, he just came out of nowhere!" Jack replied through sharp shallow breaths - he was obviously in pain.
"It's ok, we're going to get you out!" Kelly shouted over the groan of the jaws as they separated the metal of the door. As the door eased off the man's leg he screamed out in pain, making Severide react quickly. There was something obviously wrong and they had to stop immediately before they put the victim in any more danger. "Yo Capp, we nearly there?!" He yelled trying to get his attention. "Capp!" Even though he was doing something, Capp still couldn't hear him over the noise of the tool, so in frustration, Severide stormed over to Capp's side and dragged him away from the door; the jaws clattering against the sidewalk. "What the hell are you doing?!" He shouted. "Are you doing it on purpose or something?!"
"Lieutenant, I-"
"No, I don't want to hear it. Pop the door and we're going," Kelly shouted as he headed back towards the squad rig as Tony took Severide's place at the victims side. "95 can take the rest of this - they've got it handled and we obviously don't."
The ride back to the fire house was a silent one. After the show Severide had given on the call sight earlier, everyone knew that something was affecting him. Well, they all knew what it was but did they dare ask him. When they reached the fire house, there was a car parked across the entrance where Squad 3 was usually parked. The already angered lieutenant was ready to explode as he shoved open the cab door; jumped out and stalked towards the main building of the fire house.
"Lieutenant, we can just leave it here!" Tony called as he leaned out through the open window of the Squad rig.
"No, I'm not leaving it out here." He shouted as he turned and started walking backwards. "It friggin' shouldn't be there in the first place!" Walking past the empty Squad table, he used his shoulder to barge through the common room doors. As he raised his eyes from the floor, he instantly stopped walking and he felt the anger flair up inside him again. This time it was for a genuine reason rather than just because he was irritated. "You've got to be joking me!" He said loud enough so the person he was talking about turned around and looked at him.
"Ahhh, long time no see lieutenant!" Lieutenant Will Grover stated as he moved his coffee mug away from his lips.
"You know what," Kelly said as he turned and headed back for the door.
Grover was in Matt and Kelly's academy class back when they all started. As their training period came to an end, Kelly was shoved off the ariel ladder by Grover. This brought on the friendship between Kelly and Matt because Casey was the one that saved Severide from plummeting four stories.
"What do I know Kelly?" Grover asked with an aggressive tone as he made his way towards Kelly. "I do know that I'm here because you couldn't pull Matt out of that fire truck quick enough-"
"That's it!" Kelly shouted as he turned on his heal. Within seconds he had his hand round Grover's throat and was yelling in his face. "You have NO right to bring Matt up like that! He is more of a hero than you'll ever be!" His voice rose as the men tried to pull them apart. "He is more of a man than you'll ever be. He saved my ass after you stupidity shoved me off, all for what, a quicker practice time?"
"Kelly get off him!" Danny yelled as she helped the rest of the team pull the two lieutenants apart.
"And don't you ever call him by is first name again." He spat. "You're not his friend and you never will be. You're just lucky we didn't get you pulled out of the Academy for that stunt."
"Maybe you should've," Grover started as soon as Kelly let go of him. "Maybe you should've because then I wouldn't be her taking Casey's spot on 81. We all know he's never going to wake up and it's all your -"
"Get out!" Kelly roared as he lunged for him again but Herrmann and the rest of the the team held him back.
"You know what, I think I'm going to go and put my feet up on his desk and look at that lovely picture of his wife." Grover's eyes were wide open as he taunted Kelly. He knew what damage he was psychologically but he couldn't quite help himself. "And I might have a lay down where he's probably made Love to her..."
"I'll kill you!" Kelly shouted as Herrmann and Cruz began to drag him towards the bunk room. "I'll kill you!"
The room was silent as soon as Kelly was dragged out. Grover went over and took up residence in Matt's chair, with an authoritative smog hanging around him, and the whole team didn't take their eyes off him.
"Can I ask what you're doing?" Mouch began with a questioning tone. "That's the lieutenant's chair."
"Who do you think I am?" Grover exclaimed angrily standing up and moving so violently he sent the chair flying back. Cruz only was just able to pull Herrmann back so the chair didn't fly into him as they entered the room. "I am the lieutenant from now until Casey comes back so you'll do what I say." Grover looked Mouch right in the eye. "I think the showers need a good scrub."
"I'm not the candidate." Mouch spat, unheard of because of his naturally sheepish nature. Disgusted with the way that the replacement lieutenant was treating them, he walked back up the the aisle of the common room and grabbed a magazine.
With as sly glance, Lieutenant Grover spitefully carried on. "You really think I'd bad mouth your poor injured lieutenant any more. I'm not a savage." He called after him. "You will listen to me, you hear me?"
With a huff, Herrmann rolled his eyes and headed out of the room after Mouch. He was the followed by Cruz who was shanking his head as he exited the room. Grover was suddenly left all alone in the silence of the common room, still trying to make sense of what had just happened. He knew that 51 was a tight knit house and that it would be hard to get into the circle of trust that they all had with each other. However, he was the lieutenant and he was all for using his higher rank to push his way among them.
The news had spread through most of the firehouses in the city. A truck crash isn't a usual occurrence and so most people knew through word of mouth. 51 was receiving multiple visits from other Truck and Squad companies that felt obligated to come and give their best wishes, and condolences for the injured lieutenant. But in ways it kept rubbing salt in the wounds of the rest of the firefighters that worked at the house. This was because they where already suffering, most mentally but some physically from the accident, and with the constant reminder of what happened, things where getting bad...
After the whole Grover situation, Kelly had thought it was a good idea for Squad (but mostly himself) to take a break from the tense atmosphere of 51. His head was in a bad place and the rest of the team knew that. He knew where he wanted to be, it was the same place where everyone wanted to be - at the hospital with Gabby and Jamie, so they could check on Matt.
Severide walked quickly up the though the main entrance of the hospital, and straight over to the bank of elevators that took you to all floors of the hospital. He knew where he was going, the there was only one place that Matt would be - the ICU. Walking there with a strong desire, Kelly turned the corner and instantly saw Gabby standing outside Matt's room. "Gabby!" He called, the pit in his stomach instantly closing as he saw her.
He watched her turn round and give a small smile. She looked tired and warn out because of the dark circles under her eyes. "Hey Kelly." She said in a quiet voice as he reached her and instantly pulled her in for a hug.
"How's he doing?" He asked as he released her but still kept his arm round her shoulders as they both turned and looked through the window. Inside Stefan was sitting beside Matt's bed with Jamie close to Matt's feet, his legs crossed and his head down fiddling with the blanket.
"Same as he was yesterday, and the day before, and the one before tha-"
"Gabby, have you not been in there?" He asked now dropping his arm and looking her in the eyes. He knew something was up, that she was acting differently.
She held his eye contact for a moment before she let it fall to the floor and shook her head. "No." She replied quickly before she had to swallow to stop a sob from bubbling up her throat. "Just every time I see him like that I-"
"Hey, hey it's okay!" Kelly exclaimed as pulled her into his arms once again. "He's going to be okay but I don't understand why you don't want to be in they with him; he's you're husband and he needs-"
"You don't think I've heard that from everyone who knows me?" She exclaimed shoving Kelly away, tears now streaming down her face. "You don't think I want to be in there with him. You don't know the half of it Kelly and you never will! Matt is so close to the edge with this one and I'm scared he's not going to make it through. His skull is cracked more now because it couldn't heal properly after his last accident and I don't know what to do!" Her voice was raising and raising. She didn't care who saw her, even though she knew Stefan and Jamie where staring at her through the window. "I'm scared Kelly. I'm scared that I'm never going to be able to speak to him again, that I won't be able to tell him how much I love him. I need him, more than any of you know and it hurts me to see him like this. He's in so much pain and i wouldn't wish that on anyone. I've been in a situation something like Matt and it isn't nice. I'm terrified of loosing him." She finished with a whisper before she met his eyes and walked off past him.
Kelly knew that she was upset and deep down he knew he should've gone after her but at a time like this, she needed her space. Through the window, Jamie had been watching what had happened and he now had a pale complexion. Severide watched as he saw Stefan trying to talk to the little boy, but still Jamie's eyes where locked onto Kelly's. With a slight nod of his head, Kelly signalled for Jamie that it was okay for him to come out of the room. So with one quick glance to his father, Jamie pushed himself off the bed and walked towards the door that lead out into the corridor. As soon as he stepped out, Jamie shut the door quietly and slowly made his way over to Kelly.
"Hey Kelly." He said quietly as Severide lifted him up into the air.
"Hi little one." He replied as be rubbed Jamie's hair making the little boy smile. "How are you doing?"
It took Jamie a second to reply, Kelly could tell his mind was elsewhere and seeing him slightly dazed was very different to how he usually was. "I'm okay. I've been sitting in with Daddy for a while, while he was asleep."
"That's good then, how are you feeling about all this." Kelly asked holding Jamie just a little bit tighter. "You're being amazing and your mummy is so proud of you."
As he wriggled as a signal to Kelly that he wanted to be put down. As Jamie's feet reached the floor; Jamie took a step away and all of a sudden, his curious blue eyes didn't look quite so blue. They did what Matt's did, thinking about Matt made Severide's throat close up, they changed colour slightly with his emotions. "I don't feel brave." Jamie whispered as he finally moved back to Kelly and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck.
"Hey Jamie, listen to me." Severide started as he pulled away and looked at the child that he loved like his own son. "I know that you're scared, because truthfully I am, but sometimes the only way to be brave, is to pretend to be braver than you feel deep down here," Kelly pointer to his heart. " and you're doing such a great job at doing that."
"I'm just worried about my dad." He started as he buried his face into Kelly's shoulder. "Mummy is worried and I know it and she never gets worried. She hasn't even been in to see him!" Jamie was obviously distraught over the whole ordeal and it was understandable, he was a six year old dealing with problems an adult would struggle with. Kelly was just scared that he was being cast to the side as his mother dealt with her feelings.
It was dark outside now and the only way of seeing the road was though the headlights. With her mind raising, it running over and over with thoughts about her husband; her son and the rest of the fire house as she drove. She felt like she was meant to be looking for something, like her heart was telling her to go somewhere, even though her mind didn't know where. So she drove, she drove for miles and miles to try and make myself think straight; trying convince herself to do something other than worry about something she had absolutely no power over changing. Then as she turned on to the interstate and carried on driving in the pitch black of night, she realised there was no point in her even trying to go anywhere to clear her head, because everywhere she went, no matter the time or the place, it always lead her straight back to the hospital. No matter how angry she was that the accident happened to Matt, she never would've cast it into another person. Matt was the love of her life and she knew he needed her at a time like this, even though she wasn't sure if he could hear her or not. She kept telling herself that she needed to go and see him, when she would return to the hospital she made a promise herself that she would go and see him. The thing she was most worried about was Jamie. He had been so strong through all of this and, she was worried that she was neglecting him to account for her own feelings. However, it wasn't like he didn't have people around him that loved him and where trusted to care for him. Gabby needed to pull her finger out. Death wasn't something that need to be handled lightly and Gabby knew that, probably more than anyone because of the amount of people she had lost during her time in the Navy. Sure she had a way of handle the prospect of death, but when it is someone that matters so much to you like Matt did to her, could be be enough to bring anyone down?