"So... you're a guard. In Denerim?" she chuckled. "I thought you hated Denerim." Alissa wasn't sure what she was doing here. Alone. In a tavern. Drinking. With Alistair. And grinning like a fool at him.
Alistair sat across from her with his arm propped up hanging off the back of his chair, looking relaxed. Or at least trying to look relaxed in front of her. "Well, it seemed as good a place as any. I had a job offer here, so I took it."
Alissa lifted her head and scanned the room, remembering the last time they had been in the Gnawed Noble together. "The last I had heard you were…well…not in a good place," she said raising her eyebrows looking down at her drink. "According to Leliana at least."
Alistair raised his cup to his lips to take a swig, bringing the mug down with a smack. He shook his head, humored thinking about their old friend. "Still an information collector then, I wouldn't expect any less of her. I suppose you two still talk then. I ran into her a couple years back." He sat up leaning his elbows on the table, looking down at his drink. "But yes, I'll just say it. I was a drunk. I owed a lot of people a lot of money, but I've picked myself up since then. Paid off my debts."
She smiled, biting her lip. "That's good to hear. You know, you're the only one I don't still talk to from then," she said looking down, stirring the foam around in her cup with a finger. "Even Wynne eventually came around."
He lifted his eyes to watch her. The sight of her teeth scraping her bottom lip caused him to lose his breath for a moment. "Well," he cleared his throat, "yes, anyway. How about you? I mean wow! You're a mother and… you got married."
Alissa coughed nearly choking and took a swig of her drink, nervously laughing. "Yes, I'm a mum, still seems strange to me too sometimes." She looked around, not sure what to focus her eyes on. She threw back the rest of her drink. "I think I need another drink," she said raising her hand toward the barmaid.
Alistair furrowed his brows giving her a strange look. She was dodging the question and he knew it. "Ah…What else have you been up to?"
Just then, her next drink was slammed down on the table in front of her. She breathed out, relieved the subject seemed to have changed. "Well, for a bit I stayed with the Wardens. We started to rebuild the order, did a bit of recruiting. I got them started at least, then they sent me off when I…well, you know," she said shrugging her shoulders and looking away.
"You son?" he said nodding.
She smiled and moved her head up and down in affirmation, sipping her drink again. Alistair looked up with a head shake, thinking about his old mentor, a twinkle or perhaps a little tear coming to his eye. "Duncan? Quite a name you picked out for him. I approve," he chuckled.
Alissa beamed. "Duncan Bryce, after my father as well. I thought you might like it," she said with a small laugh and a large grin. She bit her lip again, internally scolding herself for revealing that she cared what he thought of the name. She needed to distract him before he thought too hard about it. "Duncan…he did a lot for me…for both of us. I wish I would have known him longer than I did," she said pressing her lips together, eyes down on her drink again. "Do you think you'll ever go back? To the Wardens I mean?"
Alistair shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know that they would take me back after the stunt I pulled. I abandoned the order during a Blight," he brought a hand up rubbing the back of his hair. "That's about as bad as it gets for a warden I'm afraid."
"It wasn't your fault," she said nearly in a whisper, eyes looking down, hands wrapped around her drink.
Alistair took another drink. "It was, I try not to dwell on the decisions I made then," he said shaking his head.
Her face went absent for a moment. "I dwell on it all the time," she murmured. She looked up, meeting Alistair's eyes. Her look sincere. "For what it's worth…I'm sorry about what happened. I should never have…"
He quickly stopped her. "You had your reasons. I see them more clearly now."
"Well, that is good to hear," she said with a small smile returning to her face. "I thought you still hated me."
"I never hated you Alissa," he protested. "I was hurt. I felt betrayed. But I never hated you. I loved you, even after everything that happened."
Her lips parted in a gape, she was slightly taken aback. To hear those words again, from his lips. I loved you. She moved her head back and forth, snapping herself out of it. "I was just trying to save us both. It seemed like the only way at the time."
They looked at each other, eyes widened. For a moment there was awkward silence. Alistair cleared his throat breaking their gaze. "Yes, well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's change the subject shall we."
Alissa laughed, shaking her head at herself for ever thinking this was a good idea. "This was supposed to make things better between us, not worse."
Alistair licked his teeth, deciding to be daring. "Well, since we're on sore subjects, I was wondering who you got married to. Your…ah son… said he wasn't around anymore," he inquired.
"He told you that?" she muttered, bringing her eyebrows together in a frown.
"Well when I asked him where his father was he… said he didn't have one," he said.
There was no use in lying about it now. "He doesn't," she straightened her back,"and I've never had a husband," she confessed, her second drink loosening her tongue. "I thought to avoid the subject," she bitterly chided.
"You never got married?" he sputtered. "I…just assumed," he said with a shoulder shrug. "I thought maybe it was some political thing, but I guess not. I suppose that means you ran off into the arms of another man after I left then." He thought for a moment. "Was it that prick Zevran, swooping in at the first chance he got? I knew he had his eye on you. He seems like the sort to run off and leave a fatherless child behind," he said ranting, drawing conclusions and angering himself.
Alissa lifted her eyes to the ceiling and let out an annoyed sigh. "No, it wasn't Zevran. He was my friend and nothing more and he still is. Can we just not talk about this?"
His face was turning red as his blood pressure rose. He wasn't stopping now, he had a right to know. "I'm just curious who stole you out from under me," he said moving his jaw back and forth. "I heard you got pretty friendly with some mage for a bit. Was it him? O-or maybe Nathaniel Howe, heard you were working with him too. I know how you like to forgive and forget when someone has betrayed the people you claim to love. It makes sense you'd end up with a Howe," he said bitterly.
She glared at him, her eyes shooting daggers. "No one stole me from you Alistair, you left! I thought you said you were over this," she spat.
He let out a heavy sigh, leaning his head into his hands and rubbing his temples. "Uh, forgive me. I've had too much to drink."
Alissa stared at him blankly. "I think maybe I should leave." She started to get up. "I'll cover your tab."
Alistair stood up, grabbing her wrist. His chair squeaked loudly against the floor. "Wait Alissa! I'm sorry," he sighed. "You know how I get around you, I feel like my head might explode and everything just gets all jumbled up. I don't mean to take it out on you."
Her eyes went back and forth between his hand on her wrist and his pleading face. She stood still, trying to catch her breath. His touch was sending jolts through her skin, and those eyes…She remembered those eyes. She loved those eyes. And those lips. And the rest of him. She lowered herself back to her chair and he broke his grip on her.
"This is very confusing," she said her head lowered looking at her hands in her lap.
"I…know what you mean," Alistair breathed. "Listen, I promise not to bring up anymore ancient history if you can do the same. I...think we've done our catching up. Maybe it's time to just... move forward."
Alissa nodded. "That sounds like an excellent idea." She looked up at him holding her hand out with a smile. "Friends?"
He took her hand, firmly griping her palm and shaking her hand. Their hands lingered for a moment too long. They both glanced at their hands meeting, finally awkwardly pulling away. "Friends," he said with a short laugh.