Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto nor do I make any money from it, but I still wish I did!

Chapter Three:

Breakdowns

Seconds later, he laughed for the first time in his short life.

They didn't go straight to the market. It was still so busy this time of the day and the kid was having so much fun that Kakashi made three trips around the Konoha rooftops. Afterwards he felt very good. He was dripping with sweat, but it was a good workout. He cocked his head to look up at Naruto, who was still riding on his shoulders, "You hungry again?"

"Ungy, yup," he wiggled his body in excitement then said a lot more that was completely beyond the copy-nin's comprehension. The kid really could talk; the trick was trying to understand it.

"Well, I'll just take that as a yes." He knew of a place that was very near the Anbu headquarters. It was mostly frequented by shinobi who ordered take out, so the place should be pretty empty. Plus they served a dumpling dish that's real bland; perfect for the boy. Kakashi felt a tingle at the nape of his neck. Years of dangerous living had taught him to never ignore that feeling. He tensed and looked carefully around. He knew someone was watching him, but didn't see who it could be.

Knowing that there was not a single person in the village that could harm him, he disregarded it for now, but kept on alert. "Just let someone try something," he smirked to himself. He casually walked at a normal pace to the restaurant and entered. Taking a table in the rear with a view of the front window, he set the boy down on a chair and waited.

"Really?" he thought sarcastically when he discovered who was following him. He wanted to hide under the table, but instead he slouched back in the chair, put his foot up on the other, and adopted an uncaring, cool expression.

Guy Maito entered the restaurant in all his eye searing, green spandex glory. Kakashi honestly liked the shinobi most of the time, but his clothes just made him want to cringe in embarrassment for the man.

"Yosh, Kakashi Hatake, my eternal rival. I thought that was you." He gave his trademark nice guy pose with his thumbs up and a wink. "I haven't seen you in a very long time. We need a contest of skill to compete in. I will show you what the power of youth can do."

"Huh, did you say something?" said Kakashi indifferently to Guy's annoyance.

"Kakashi, my rival, our record stands at seventeen to seventeen. My youthful energy burns bright like the sun. We need a tie-breaker to prove who is more youthful."

Guy's loud tone started to freak Naruto out. His head whipped back and forth, seeking an escape. The green man was blocking the exit and there were strange men near the other exit. He jumped off his chair and dove into the copy-nin's lap. Kakashi was not wearing his jonin vest, so the boy was able to pull up his shirt and bury his head within it. The chibi's hair tickled his chest. His tiny arms were wrapped around the nin's waist in a death grip.

Kakashi sucked in his breath when Naruto's nails dug deep in his back. "Guy, keep your voice down. You're scaring him." He rubbed the small back under his shirt.

Guy was abashed when he saw the small boy tremble in fright. He decided to drop the act with his friend. Asking permission to join them, he pulled out a chair and sat down. With a smile, he jokingly said, "You seem to have a little parasite attached to you. Is this the reason why I haven't seen you in such a long time? I hadn't heard that you married."

Kakashi sighed in frustration; this was something he wasn't really ready to explain yet. "It's not a parasite, Guy. And no, I haven't married. It's my… well this is…uh…" he stammered, "This is my adopted s-son, Naruto. And no, we are not going to discuss this here. Come over to my house later tonight and I will tell you everything." The men went silent as the server came over and took their orders. He coaxed the chibi out of his shirt and handed him a piece of bread with the promise that more food was coming. The boy sat in his chair, but nervously edged away from Guy. He refused to look directly at him, but watched him from the corner of his eyes.

Guy watched them fondly until he realized why the kid looked so familiar. "Isn't he the…?" he stopped at Kakashi's hard look. "Right, well anyways, are you up to a challenge, my rival?" he grinned wide, showing his hundred-watt smile.

Kakashi got a sudden brilliant idea. He slyly said, "I don't really have time for a competition right now, unfortunately. I still have quite a few things to do. Too bad we couldn't compete to see who can finish buying the things on my lists."

"Yosh, what an incredible idea you have come up with Kakashi. I accept your challenge and if I do not win then I will run one hundred laps backwards through the village on my hands."

"No, really, you don't have to do that," started Kakashi even though he knew it was a useless endeavor. He pulled his lists for the market and showed them to Guy.

"What are nappies?"

Later after they had eaten, they walked to the market together. Kakashi still had to carry Naruto because he refused to put any of the boy's old clothes or shoes on him. He planned to burn the items later. The first place they went to was a children's clothing store. The men picked out several outfits for the chibi, but Kakashi adamantly refused to buy the green jumpsuit, much to Guy's disappointment. He was able to find a new jacket for the boy as well. This one had a large hood that Naruto could use to cover his head whenever things became too much for him. "The color is not the greatest but it is still too cute," he thought, "Wait did I just say cute?! Oh man, I am really losing my edge." He looked up at the chibi clinging to his neck and smiled. "He really is kinda cute too; the little chibi."

After finding some sandals that would fit, he reached up, lifted him off his shoulders and set him on the ground. Kakashi put the new sandals on the boy. "You have to walk a little now, pup. It's good for the muscles. Someday you might want to become a big strong shinobi, like your daddy." With a sad afterthought, he added to himself, "Like both of them."

Naruto did not like this at all. He felt insecure and adrift without the man holding him. He clung to Kakashi's hand like it was a lifeline and looked up at him with watery eyes. "Up?" he pleaded.

"Not yet. Let's get you some clothes first," he said gently to Naruto, then to Guy, he said, "Are you ready to start? You can get the groceries and I'll find a bed for the kid. Whoever gets back to my place first wins?" he pulled his hand away from the boy and gave money to Guy. Naruto latched onto Kakashi's leg and hid his face.

"Let the powers of youth prove what splendid ninja we are on us this day! I shall win, Kakashi, my eternal rival."

"Huh, did you say something?"

"ARRGH, you are just too cool! Alright, start!"

Guy ran off as fast as he could towards the food market. Kakashi smirked to himself for his cleverness. He grabbed Naruto's hand and walked up to the woman operating the cash register. He put all the clothes and a box of diapers on the counter. He gave the woman one of his eye smiles and said, "I also want to purchase one of those little kid beds that you sell." He looked down and winked at the chibi, paid the woman, and took his bags. Naruto was clinging to his leg, so Kakashi grabbed him one armed around the buttocks and hefted him to his chest.

"Are you ready to go home now, pup?" he asked after he gave the woman his address for the delivery.

"Ome, yup," he said tiredly. Just then, he spotted a stuffed teddy bear. He stared at it wistfully. Kakashi saw where he was looking and picked up the bear. It seemed like such a silly thing to him, but the boy clearly wanted it. He paid for it and handed it to his shy little son.

Naruto tentatively touched the soft fur. At Kakashi's encouragement, he stroked it then cuddled it against him. His timid smile wormed its way into the nin's heart. He held his bear tightly in the crook of his arm, stuck his thumb in his mouth, and lay his head on Kakashi's shoulder. He fell asleep before they had even left the store, which Kakashi was relieved about. Everywhere they went; he couldn't help but notice the glares from the villagers. He sent more than a few back. Naruto didn't even wake when they arrived at their apartment or when Kakashi changed his diaper.

After Kakashi lay the boy down in his bed, the stress of the day finally hit him. His body began to shake as he had a flashback. This one was of the time after his father died. As the sharp memories invaded his senses, Kakashi slumped on the couch, boneless and helpless. He moaned, "Please god, not again. Please, no more."

Everywhere he walked, people whispered; son of a traitor, too powerful for one so young, could be dangerous… The small boy was very young and didn't know what to believe. His father was everything to him; a living legend. The White Fang was the pride of the village. Kakashi worked so hard to get out of his shadow and now he was hated. Minato tried his best to help him and it worked on the outside. He learned to cope. If only he hadn't told his father that he hated him and was ashamed of him right before he died. A part of him just knew that his father killed himself because of his son's words.

The White Fang appeared before him. His back was turned and he refused to look at Kakashi. "Please father, forgive me for not believing in you. I am so sorry. You were right to do what you did. You tried to protect your comrades. I understand now." The image before his eyes faded away, leaving the nin feeling bereft and wondering if he would ever find absolution. He returned to the present quickly, but the feelings that memory brought on stayed with him.

He was sitting on the couch trying to meditate when Guy arrived a half an hour later, shocked that his rival beat him. After Kakashi put the groceries away, he pulled out a large bottle of sake to share. "It's not like I am hiding from myself; I am just being social like the Hokage told me to be," he convinced himself. Just as he was about to begin his tale, there was a knock at the door. He was very surprised to see his old friend, Asuma Sarutobi.

Kakashi had been purposely avoiding him for a long time. He was way too perceptive for comfort. "Asuma, what brings you here?" he said coolly.

"My dad told me about what you are doing with the kid," he said, lighting up a cigarette and handing him a small bag. "I think it's great so I brought you something."

"Wow," said Kakashi pulling out a book on helping children overcome traumatic events. "This is... I mean… wow. Thanks, Asuma; I haven't been sure how to help the poor kid. This should help a lot. You want to come in? I was about to tell Guy the whole story, but you have to put the cigarette out. Naruto is sleeping in the room. I can't tell the Hokage to put his pipe out, but I can kick your sorry butt out for it," he joked.

Kakashi told the shinobi the whole story. He drank a lot during the telling, but no one seemed to notice. He actually was relaxed and comfortable after they left; he took off his mask and settled deeper in the couch. He drank the rest of the bottle of sake and was considering getting another when he heard Naruto in the other room cry out. Kakashi rushed in; alert for any danger, but it was just a nightmare. He leaned down over the bed, intent on comforting the boy, but he suddenly screamed shrilly, fully awake, and absolutely terrified.

Kakashi's heart began to pound in response to the child's fear. "It's okay, son. Daddy's here. Don't be afraid. It was just a bad dream."

Naruto scrambled off the bed and under it, whimpering and shivering with fear. "Me sawwy!" he cried out.

"There is nothing to be sorry for, Naruto. It was just a bad dream. Please come out. Tell daddy what made you so scared."

"No! Mell baa… hurt… baa mell..." cried Naruto to Kakashi's confusion. He had no idea whatsoever about what the boy was trying to say. He tried to pull him out, but Naruto fled out of the bedroom into the living room. He picked up the empty bottle of sake and looked accusingly at Kakashi. "Mell baa, me hurt…" he dropped to bottle, ran to the corner of the room, and curled into a ball. He rocked himself violently back and forth. He looked even more frightened then he did the other night when the nin found him. His heart hurt at the scene before him.

Kakashi picked up the bottle at stared at it for a second. "Some drunken villagers almost killed him…" whispered the voice of the Hokage in his mind. "Oh god, what have I done?" he cried out. He turned towards the child, who flinched away from him. Never before had he hated himself as much as this moment. "Damn it," he roared, throwing the bottle. The crash as it shattered against the wall made the boy scream out hysterically and grab handfuls of his hair; trying to rip them out. His eyes held that deadened look that Kakashi had hoped never to see again.

He ran over to Naruto and pulled his hands away from his head. His little body went stiff for a moment, than he began to thrash wildly about. His nails scratched Kakashi's arms and face, and he bit him several times; drawing blood. Still, Kakashi did not let him go. He cradled the now limp boy like an infant. Those dead eyes pierced his soul. He screamed out, "Come back to me, come back. Please son, come back."

"This is all my fault," he started crying, "Please don't hurt yourself. I'm so sorry, son. Daddy is so very sorry. I won't hurt you, I swear." Tears fell from his face onto Naruto's head. The guilt of scaring his son because of his selfish actions was tearing him apart. "What is wrong with me? Why do I continue to mess up? Why can't I do anything right? Oh God, please forgive me son."

The sound of his father's grief pulled Naruto out of his panicked state. He looked in shock at the weeping man. Something inside him told him that he needed his help. He threw his arms around him and hugged him, "Dada… so kay." This time it was Naruto's turn to be the lifeline for Kakashi. He kissed the boy and held on to him for a long time then vowed that he would become a better man and a better father.

That night, an hour after they ate dinner, Kakashi looked thoughtfully at the listless boy hugging his stuffed bear and rubbing the fur on his face. He needed to do something to atone for his guilt. "Hey pup, let's go to the park." He knew that Naruto was scared to be in public, but he also knew that he had to find a way for the boy to overcome his fears.

"Pawk? No ou'si," he said shaking his head.

"Daddy will be with you."

"No ou'si," he said firmly.

"You can wear your new jacket. It is very special. It has a nice big hood. Look, stay here, I'll be right back." He went to the closet and pulled out the orange coat. He had to admit, he didn't like the bright color, but the hood was pretty cool. It had dog-ears on the top. He showed it to Naruto.

His eyes brightened as he looked at it. "Oooh, pity." He let Kakashi put it on him then looked in the mirror at himself. He pulled the hood up and his face disappeared within the folds.

"Yeah, it is pretty and you look very cool, little man. So what do you think? We can fly to the park and then daddy will summon his ninken for you to play with." That worked, thought Kakashi as he saw his son's face light up. He grabbed some dog toys; put their sandals on and put his mask up. When he was outside, he put the boy on his shoulders, ran up the side of the building, and raced across the rooftops towards the park. Naruto let go of his hair and threw his arms out wide with a chuckle.

There weren't very many children there. There was only a few that looked around Naruto's age. Kakashi summoned his pack and gave the chibi one of the balls. As they started throwing the balls, a little boy, slightly older than Naruto, walked over to them. He had red fang markings on his cheeks, messy brown hair, and pointed canine teeth. "You got ninken? Can I play with you?"

Kakashi handed him a ball when Naruto shyly nodded. "This is Naruto. What's your name?" he asked.

"Kiba. I like your dogs. Did you know that my clan works with dogs? I'm gonna have my own dog someday too. My mom said so."

Naruto looked at him shyly, and then asked "Pay wit me?"

The boys played for an hour. Naruto came out of his shell, running around the park with the dogs at his feet, screaming his head off and laughing joyously. Kakashi kept an eye on them while he read the parenting book Asuma had given him. Reading made him feel so calm in the public surroundings. He didn't once think about people watching him. When Kiba's mother, Tsume came to bring her son home, Naruto became frightened and ran to Kakashi. He buried his head in his shirt again.

The nin sighed patiently and pulled him out. "Your friend is going home now. Be a good boy and tell him goodbye, son."

Naruto reluctantly nodded and walked over to Kiba, eyeing Tsume warily, "Bye Keeeba."

"You wanna play with me tomorrow?"

"Pay, yup!" shouted Naruto happily.

He carefully scrutinized Tsume to gauge her reaction. He knew the exact moment when she figured out who Naruto was. He was prepared to tear her apart if she made one wrong move. Kakashi stiffened up which shifted her attention to him.

"Kakashi, what are you doing with this boy?" she asked suspiciously.

"He is my son now," he said defensively. "What of it?"

She sharply looked him up and down before smiling with a wide feral look. "Good. I have been after Sarutobi for a while now to find him a home. You're a little young though, don't you think?"

"I may be only seventeen, but I have been on my own since the age of five. I am completely capable of caring for this boy," he said gravely.

"I can see that. See that you keep him safe. The tenth is a few days away. If you need any help, come see me anytime. Oh and by the way Hatake, he is more than welcome anytime to play with my son."

Kakashi blinked in surprise, and then bowed his head respectively towards her, "Thank you Inuzuka-Sama."

She laughed as she walked away with Kiba and called over her shoulder, "You can drop that Sama crap; we're gonna be friends now. Just call me Tsume."

Kakashi released his ninken and took the smiling boy's hand. Together they walked into the fading twilight towards their home; the tall silver-haired jonin and small blond chibi. The little boy chattered the whole way, while Kakashi patiently listened, not understanding much of what he said, and nodded his head, so happy that his pup had found his voice. There was only one bad moment when someone in the distance slammed a door. Naruto jumped about a foot and pulled his hood up and shivered, but did not demand to be held.

Naruto was too excited to sleep, so Kakashi took him to the bathroom for a bath. The book said to talk a lot to a child that has traumatized. It said that is good for the child to talk about their feelings and experiences, but Naruto was not equipped to do that yet, so he decided to do the talking. He had also thought that one good way to conquer his own fears would be to find something else that was more important than them. He held that something in his hands right now, in the form of a tiny almost three-year-old boy.

As he bathed his son, he told him of Obito's death. "It was my fault. I was so focused on duty, and so willing to sacrifice my comrades. Obito told me that anyone who was willing to abandon their friends was worst than scum. He was right. I would have let Rin die for the sake of our mission. Obito and I saved her, but it was too late for him. He gave me the Sharingan eye, you know. I wish now that I could have been a better friend to him while he was still alive."

He started to smile in remembrance, "I just didn't understand him. He was always late and making lame excuses. I was so busy trying to be the perfect shinobi; trying to prove that I was not a traitor like people thought my father was. I just didn't understand Obito. Rin told me that she loved me, but I wasn't worthy of it. I almost let her be killed. Obito loved her, and he never got a chance to tell her before he died. For the longest time, well actually sometimes even now, I think it should have been me that died that day. I began to act like him after he died. It is who I am now. I don't want to die anymore; not while I have you."

Kakashi suddenly stopped moving and his words repeated in his head, "I don't want to die." He smiled and said aloud in a wonder-filled voice,"I don't want to die."

Kakashi plucked Naruto out of the bath, wrapped him in a fluffy towel, and hugged him. He dressed him in pajamas and set him on the bed. He then combed his hair and laid him on the bed. He covered him with a blanket and was about to leave the room, when the boy whimpered. "No."

"Do you want me to lay down with you?" Kakashi could tell he was scared. He put on his pajama bottoms and lay down next to his son, who edged away from him staring at him distrustfully one minute then hopefully the next. Smiling to himself, Kakashi pretended to fall asleep. With his eyes closed, he debated whether to snore. Deciding against it, he continued to breath deep. Within a few minutes, he sensed the chibi moving stealthily towards him. Well, as stealthily as an almost three-year-old could. He moved closer, put his head on Kakashi's chest, and his thumb in his mouth. His teddy bear lovingly held tight in his other hand as he fell asleep.

Kakashi stayed awake staring at the ceiling for a long time in contemplation; his arm wrapped around the boy cuddled on him. He could feel his little heart beating in synch to his own and it relaxed him. He began to meditate, thinking of the days events. It had never occurred to him before why Guy acted the way he did. "Maybe that act of his is just a coping mechanism, just like the way I act like Obito. Maybe everyone else is just as broken as I am. Maybe I am not so different after all. Asuma is leaving to join the twelve guardian ninja. Genma is always making jokes and acts so happy, but is he really? I don't think so. I've seen his true face when people aren't looking. Maybe I should take Naruto and his little friend to the training grounds with me. We could do a little training and hang out with some of my fellow shinobi. It should help the boy be less afraid of being outside. Maybe me too..."

His thoughts were interrupted when something cold and wet hit his chest. Naruto was sleeping with his mouth slightly open. He drooled. He drooled a lot. Kakashi pulled the boy's thumb out of his mouth and closed his mouth. He eased himself out of the bed and jumped in the shower. He eyed the growing pile of laundry, the closed can that was starting to fill with dirty diapers; and grimaced. Changing dirty diapers is something no elite shinobi should ever have to do. There should be some sort of law.

"Man, if I could turn that into a weapon," he thought while envisioning a fight with Guy. "He would probably say that the power of a youthful dirty diaper would win the battle." He pictured Guy and himself throwing loaded diapers at each other like kunai. Then with a huge wet splat, Guy with poop all over his face. Kakashi snorted to himself. First things first, tomorrow he planned to teach the chibi how to use the toilet.

He lay back in the bed with his book, finding several things that should really help. When Naruto began to rock back and forth and moan, Kakashi was ready. He drew him into his arms and pressed him to his chest, rubbing his back and whispering soothing words when his nightmare took hold. "Shh. It's okay little man, daddy's here."

AN

Thanks to my reviewers. It feels so incredible to know that people like my story and really get where I am going with this. Thanks Prescripto13, Copeland, and Dorosurei. I have already started the next chapter, get ready with your hankys my peeps cause it's going to be a tear jerker. Also to all my readers, I won't update until I get at least ten reviews. They encourage and help me write faster! I have a two week vacation coming up and I know I will wrire a lot.

College6Tash: It won't take too long for Naruto to catch up to kids his age. Kakashi spends all his time with him, focused on only him. They will both have nightmares for a long time, because the subconscious remembers what the conscious mind forgets. I haven't figured how long this story will continue. It will be day to day for a little while.

Also, I am writing a little side fic to Broken. Something to celebrate Christmas. It's a little bit of a time skip, but not much. Tis' the season, right?! Keep an eye out on my profile for it. I will be called Christmas in Konoha. Yeah, I know that they really don't celebrate Christmas in the Naruto, but hey come on, they have television, telephones, movies, modern plumbing, and electricity, but not cars and guns. Hey wait, can I live there?