Outraged, the Son of the Devil lets his fist hit the table with a loud bang.

'He wants us to do what with the humans! He wants us to do what with my Leo!' Damien snarled at his father, whom looked very stressed out.

Resting his head in his hands, Satan let out a disgusted exhale, making it obvious that he wasn't very happy either. 'Listen, Damien,' he said, looking up at his son, 'this is God's request to us. The entire human race was wiped out by invaders, and he didn't want that. He wanted the world to end with him battling the anti-Christ.'

'But I'm the anti-Christ!' Damien snapped. 'My son isn't! And now he expects me to send my son down there to earth so that he can go through the trauma! I'm not fucking doing this! I'll put all the humans whom were wiped out by the invasion back, but I'm not fucking sending my son down there!'

'Listen Damien,' Satan said. He paused for a minute, watching his son's face get redder and redder and redder, listening to the fire in the fireplace crackle and illuminate his study. 'This is God's request. I rebelled against him, and we have to win this war against him. This is no matter of choice. We have to do this.'

There was no doubt in Satan's mind that his son was still pissed off. But all of the physical evidence of it vanished, and all the redness went from his face. The next time Damien spoke, he was no longer screaming and his fangs were no longer there evidently, his eyes not red with fury.

'I don't know what I'm going to do. Where in fuck is my son going to go? What am I gonna say to him? Am I gonna say: 'Hey, son, I know you're only eight years old and your whole life you've lived with me and your mother, but now you're gonna go live with some stranger because you have to go and fight against God'? And what the hell am I gonna say to Pip?'

He was looking down at the desk, and pretty soon he ended up piercing his lips with his fangs, blood oozing from the opening. And a familiar metallic taste filled his mouth.

Finally, Satan spoke. 'I'll tell him. I'll explain it to him. You just find somebody you know you can trust with him.'

Damien looked up. 'I don't know anybody I can trust with him. Opal most certainly is an option, but she raised me as a child and...I don't want to do that to her again. I want her to enjoy herself.'

A gigantic red hand rests on Damien's shoulder reassuringly. 'You have time to think about it. Don't do that to yourself.'

But of course, as these words escaped Satan's mouth, he knew his son didn't listen to advice.

...

I fucking hate these clothes.

The words formed in Eric Cartman's head every day as he got up for work and got dressed were always along those lines. He looked like a dork, with shoes that squeezed the shit out of his large feet and red pants, a red jacket and a dress shirt, complete with a red bow tie. Marie and Jacob would have laughed at how their father looked in his work clothes. But of course, there was no laughter to be heard from the family - Cartman didn't know where his children or his husband were. Unfortunately, Hell had such a gigantic population that it'd be almost impossible to find them, and it wasn't like it was on earth, where there was technology so he could search for them online. He lived in Hell literally, a wasteland of flames and he was surrounded by assholes. He had zero friends and he hated his job, which he received no pay for. His little shack where he lived was awful, and the food wasn't much better.

Oh, the food. He received the shittiest food ever. The thinnest soups, the bleakest flavorings, the small amount of things edible. But the kitchen that he worked in, delivering food, the smell lingered all over the place, and it was so tempting for him to commit thievery. But he knew damn well that it was possible for life in hell to get a thousand times worse, and he'd end up like those people who were tortured, limbs broken off, permanently scarred, sometimes even damaged mentally. Of course, with the last one, he couldn't be any worse off.

'Here you are, Master Damien.'

The smell of spaghetti and meatballs still made Cartman's stomach quiver with hunger after three years. He did the same to Leo with his hot dog, and then to Pip with his salmon and potatoes.

Here you are, Master Pip.

The sound of the words almost made Cartman laugh. But then again, he'd been so miserable every day for three years that it was impossible for him to laugh. But still, it was pure irony, that the boy he had bullied all those years ago, he was now serving him and his husband and his child dinner, and still, his former victim would chirp 'Thank you' politely while no one else did. It wasn't a change of relations that everyone got to experience. It honestly had to be the most fucked-up change Cartman had ever heard of, and he had lots of those.

But this time, Pip didn't say anything. He just stared down at his plate without a word.

'What's wrong, Frenchie?' he asks. Then he realizes his mistake and hastily adds, '...I mean, Master Pip.'

He receives a glare in exchange from Damien, but surprisingly, no fireballs are headed his way. Pip's eyes are watery, and his eyes look almost like green glass. But he looks up, and sounding like he has a sore throat, he says, 'I'm not gonna see Leo for a long time.'

All of a sudden, Cartman had the urge to hear the story.

'Would you like a drink of water to help your throat, Master? And a tissue?'

For the first time in a long time, it didn't disgust him to be polite and not his rude self, and he wasn't just doing it because he didn't want to receive eternal torture. He was being polite because he knew that if he was, he would be more likely to hear the story.

'Yes...please.'

Cartman scoots over to the kitchen and yelps, 'Hey, Angelo! Get me a glass of water and a clump of tissues on the double, you dumb Italian!'

The Nazi receives two glasses of water, the first of which is unleashed in his face because of the Italian comment, the second of which is on a tray with a bundle of tissues next to it. Without bothering to thank Angelo, Cartman rushes over to the table, and it was amazing he didn't spill any water. He slows down as he makes it closer to the Masters' table, and sets the tray down.

Pip gives him a quick nod and gulps down the whole glass of water, then blowing snot in to a tissue.

'We had a negotiation with God,' said Pip.

Damien feels that the word 'negotiation' shouldn't be used, but he's not in the word for talking, so he instead chooses to say nothing of the matter. Leo just stares blankly at Cartman, no emotion at all on the boy's handsome face. But green eyes stare at Cartman blankly, and Cartman just manages to glance at the kid before Pip continues.

'We're sending all the humans whom were killed during the invasion three years ago back to earth,' Pip said. Cartman is unable to register the words, and he thinks he has misunderstood the British accent. But before Cartman can query what he had just heard, Pip continues, 'Leonidas is also to be sent to earth. We're having a difficult time...'

'Can you please repeat that?'

'Leonidas is...'

'No, I mean what you said before that,' Cartman converses impatiently, waiting for an answer.

Pip repeated, his voice once again sounding sore, 'We're sending all the humans whom were killed during the invasion three years ago back to earth.'

'And everything will go right back to the way it was?'

'Yes,' came Pip's reply.

Across Cartman's face was spread the biggest smile.

'You know,' Cartman said, 'me and Kyle will take Leo in with us.'

'Now say what?' Damien asks, jumping in to the conversation. In all of the years Cartman knew Damien, he never saw a look like that on his face, and the look almost made him explode with laughter.

Leo has this weird look on his face, too.

But Pip manages a smile and says, 'Why, thank you, Eric. We appreciate that.'

The look on Damien's face says, I think you mean you appreciate that...Right, Pip? And the look on Leo's face is just the same.

It's just then that Cartman comes to the realization of what he said. He didn't know why he said that. But he thinks of Kyle and the look on his face when he's giving Cartman a kiss for the first time in a long time and then sees out of the corner of his eye...He'll have a lot of explaining to do, won't he?

'You know, I'll go with Cartman. Just for the hell of it. And it's not as if he's gonna do anything bad to me...' He looks at his father, his eyes saying it all for him. 'You scare the living shit out of him, Dad.'

The first thought that occurs to Cartman is to grab Leo by his hood of his hoodie and crack his head against the table like an egg, but then he remembers Pip and Damien are right there. Leo smiles, almost as if he can read Cartman's mind. It's a charming little smile. But then the fat ass remembers that when the boy got older, his tiny little teeth would turn in to rather prominant fangs and then his smile would become scary.

Damien glares at Cartman. It's almost as if Cartman is telapathic.

Listen, you fat fuck, Damien's voice says in his head, you better not fuck this up.

And the waiter screws off in to the kitchen wondering how he's gonna get himself out of this one.

...

'Now, Leonidas,' a heavy British accent announces, interrupting the thoughts of an eight-year-old boy whom is laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking. 'Eric was kind enough to volunteer to help us out. We don't want to see you go, but we have to. I just want to go over some rules with you...'

'...Mom,' says Leo, 'I know, I know.'

'No, you don't know,' Pip replies. 'First of all, Eric has two children, a son who is now eleven years of age and a daughter who is seven years of age. I want you to be nice to both of them, and be respectful to everybody. Eric and his husband, Kyle, are gay like us, and me and your father have known them for quite a long time. Kyle is pleasant to be around to a certain degree, but Eric, in his natural state, is quite...'

'...Mean?' Leo uses the nicest way to put it.

'Yes. Now I just want you to remember to be the best you can possibly be, okay?'

'I promise,' says Leo, solemnly nodding.

It had been exactly a month from the day the family had the agreement with Cartman. Now a large amount of Hell's population was being supplied with white orbs - special balls thrown on to the ground that would make a being go wherever he or she desired. Tonight at midnight, billions of these balls would be thrown to the ground, and billions of people would continue the lives that had been so awfully taken away from them. Except for Leo. His life would only come to an abrupt turning point.

The clock ticked. It was eleven-thirty.

Damien entered the room suddenly, and he stared at his son before saying, 'So I guess I'm not gonna see you for a long time?'

It didn't sound like much of a question.

'Yeah,' replied Leo, looking down at the carpet in his room.

He didn't hear his father move close enough to him to grab him by his chin and force him to look at him in the eye. But apparently he did.

'I'm gonna miss you, kid.'

Leo felt like he was about to cry. 'I'll miss you, too...and you too, Ma.'

'Listen,' Damien said, holding his son's shoulders, 'I just wanna tell you...Write a letter to us. Every day. Throw it in the fire. We'll get it. You'll get a letter back.'

'I will.'

Twenty-eight minutes passed, and Leo's eyes burned from the lack of blinking. He finally looked over at his parents, whom were still standing there.

'Good-bye, you guys. Until we meet again.'

He heaved his heavy backpack on to his back and ran over to his parents, hugging them and whispering 'Good-bye' repeatedly, and Damien whispered 'It'll be okay'. Pip, of course, cried, which wasn't unusual. But Leo wished he had this moment with his father for life, because Damien wasn't deep or emotional or affectionate, and he felt that this moment was only going to happen once. But midnight struck, and with a last good-bye, Leo threw the white orb on to the floor, a white mist surrounding him and clouding up his vision of his parents.

And that was the last he saw of his family for a very, very, very long time.

Finally done!