Akira Toya sat in awkward silence, quietly eating dinner with his parents, or rather, parent. His mother had not been home, as she was visiting her sick brother and insisted they continue without her. The boy was of the raw age of only 13, a young middle schooler with superb grades. Not to mention, recently proclaimed professional go player. He decided it would be easier to tell his father now. Ideally, he wished to tell his mother, and then be with her as he told his father, so she could back him up. Women were more accepting of this sort of thing, weren't they? But since he had come to an alone situation with his father instead, he thought on his feet and decided this would be the best. And his father... Oh, Akira's dreaded father, would not hold for anything but the best out of his son. At this point in his life, he had done everything but physically hurt him to make sure that happened. Being their only son, he was expected to carry on the Toya name, and bring honor to the family, etc etc. He wouldn't let anyone know but he resented his father, he had a severe amount of anger welled up inside him towards the man. But, regardless, he was his father. He always told himself he wasn't as bad as he thought. And he deserved to know.
"Father," he addressed, careful not to stutter. He had already failled his father so many times. He couldn't fuck up now. It would make this even worse.
Koyo Toya looked up at his son in relative curiosity. The silence had been deeply thread into this evening, and he had teared it at the seams. Akira had been seemingly high strung this whole evening, so he decided that he was worried about an upcoming match of go. He was always so dedicated to the game, so he wanted to grant his son the silence he seemed to yearn, so he could think. But this was something else entirely. Akira was acted strange. "Yes, Akira?" He said after just a moment of consideration.
"I-I..." The boy stuttered, his will failing him. He could feel himself shaking a bit, and in attempt to cease the shaking he gripped his hands on the lap of his pants, creasing the fabric. He swallowed hard and continued, "I don't...like girls," he managed to let out. He wished he told his mother first. He would need the reassurance. This was too much.
His father took on a look of confusion. "Akira? Whatever do you mean?" The Meijin questioned. His obliviousness made this harder for Akira.
"I-I'm not...attracted to women," He forced out. "I-I... li.. like boys," he was preparing for the worst.
His father yet again feigned ignorance, as if trying to get a full grasp of what absurd things his son was saying. "As in... Romantically?"
Akira let himself give a stiff nod. So you're a fagot, he was expecting. You can't be serious. Get out of my home. His shaking was uncontrollable at this point.
"I... don't approve of it, but it is your choice."
Akira felt as he could throw up. By the sound of his statement it sounded like he was marginalizing the first part by adding the 'it's your choice.' He scoffed with a shaken voice and remarked, "D-Don't approve?" He looked over at his father, trying to hide his anger from his face. He masked it as disappointment. "I-I can't change it, fa-ather..." He managed, it getting harder and harder to talk as his throat wanted to contract. But the need to talk was getting fiercer. He would defend his position until he ripped his vocal cords in his had to.
"Not alone, no," He said, bringing his eyes back to his supper. "They have programs to help you with that," He elaborated simply.
Akira sat still, staring at the Meijin in utter disbelieve. Akira, well, he wanted to scream. He wanted to yell and flip over the table and kick over his chair. He wanted to show his dad he could go against him. That this wasn't just another problem that needed fixing.
To his surprise, he managed to keep his temper down, but still blew up, at least on a small level. He stood up and slammed his hands on the table. "You're not going to be able to fix this! It's who I am!"
Toya Meijin looked up at his son in surprise. He narrowed his eyes, as if he was playing a particularly difficult game of go. "I've been you're father since you've been born," He began, cutting up a piece of meat in his dinner. "How long have you been like this? A week, maybe? It's just a phase you're going through, Akira. It isn't as much a part of you as that silly girlish haircut of yours. It's best to simply cut it off before it has the chance to grow into something truly horrendous."
Oh, that did it. How dare he insult his hair. In the state he was in he was almost tempted to just snatch a scissor and lob part of it off, though, maybe in a metaphorical sense it would prove him right. So besides liking his haircut that was the reason he decided that was just an insane idea. He couldn't stand this anymore. "Hah," he let out a scoff and turned his head away from his father, his dark locked hair cascading down his face. "Fuck this," He said quietly, but loud enough his knew he could hear him, and turned back towards his father, his anger obviously apparent and gleaming at this point. He felt an urge of satisfaction by the looks of astonishment on his father's face, just from the single word of profanity. He said carefully, as it added suspense and filtered the nervous shaking of this voice, "I don't care... what you think. About this, or anything else. I am gay." He said the last three words with a little pause in between, and specifically put emphasis on the last one. He started to gain confidence. He had never truly admitted it out loud until that day. "And if you don't like it, too bad." He turned away, leaving his chair un-pushed in and his dinner barly eaten, turning a cold shoulder towards his father, turning to stamp up the stairs and to his room. He was turning away from life as if was. The Meijin just looked at his son leave in complete, and utter shock. Akira felt almost smug as he tapped his way up the stairs and surprisingly calmly went into his room. He went straight towards his futon and plopped down on it, staring at the ceiling. He felt a sudden weight be lifted off his shoulders.
The next day Akira didn't go to school. As punishment, his father and a very confused mother made him attend a class to help "set him straight." Fairly literally. But Akira wouldn't have it. He had so much pent up anger and was so fed up with everything being thrust upon him, being the best and the perfect son, that he completely belittled the councilors in charge. He would shout up homosexual comments and refused to listen to anyone and declined to do anything that was homophobic. (Which was, by definition, pretty much everything in the seminar) At about noon, when he was drawing dicks on the lunch table, they just full on kicked him out. He waited for about 4 hours before his mother picked him up, at the time the class was scheduled to end. Since his father was at a go match, his mother was the only one who came to the place then, and he told her what happened last night that provoked his father. Like he thought, she was excepting, even a little angry at his father, and that night he stayed up listening to his parents agrue about the situation.
From that day on Akira's father didn't object. He never grilled Akira on anything and let him do things his way. Akira went as far as stopping taking his father's study group. For about a month after, he returned to the go salon from long before that he visited every so often, and studied there. He sat exactly where he met Shindo Hikaru a little over a year ago. And he never got kicked out of the house, surprisingly. For some reason he was very concerned with that possibility.
And Akira took extra care of his hair. He let it grow and fringe and he brushed it and ran his fingers through it constantly, especially as he walked out of the house, so his father could see. He was as proud of his hair as his sexuality, and he let it show. He wasn't about to hide from anyone. He figured lying to others and to himself hurt extraordinarily worse than the things people could say about him for it. He never worried about what people thought again.

But Hikaru Shindo wasn't so lucky.

"A-A...Akari," I said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
Akari blinked and looked down. "I was walking my dog. This park's always empty, so..."
"You have a dog?" I said in confusion. I also somehow managed to change the flow of the conversation, though. Akari nodded.
"I got him when he was a pup..." She said, eyebrows furrowed, the dog curled up by her foot. "He's about three now," She added with a small voice. Had it really been that long? I last talked to her at graduation. But she never mentioned a dog. Akira fixed his grip on my hand, and as I looked up at him he gave me a reassuring look. That made me feel a bit better and I looked back towards Akari, who looked around awkwardly.
"U-Um," I started, "Y-You remember Toya-kun?"
She nodded slowly. She looked so different, it had been almost a year. Akira and I, since we're pros, we didn't go to high school, and by contrast, she was still in her uniform. She was obviously taller but felt shorter since I was taller as well (Akira still towered over me, though. Okay, not really. But he was pretty tall). She looked kinda like... A women. Opposed to the little girl I knew her as. After her nod, she let out a small, "A little," Then looked up at Akira, her cheeks still red from walking in on us. "You're the guy who was obsessed with Hikaru, right?" She said a bit jokingly. At least she still had a sense of humor. It made Akira blush ever so slightly and glance at me though.
But he took it in swing. Dodging around me, he held up his hand for her to shake as he said. "Of course, obviously. I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Akira Toya, and I believe you're Fujisaki-san?"
Damn, he was good. He spent a lot of time talking to adults opposed to people his own age most of his life, so it kinda made sense. She seemed to be surprised at how formal he actually was as she took her hand shook my boyfriend's. "Yes," she said. "It's nice to formally meet you," She attempted his courtesy.
It was all well until Akira added quickly, "Yeah. I'm also Hikaru's lover." GAH! What is with him?! If he's gonna announce our love to the world can't he at least say boyfriend instead of lover? Does he just like that word?!
Akari raised her eyebrows in general surprise, glancing between the two of us. "Oh," She said softly, then continued the flicks between us. "That explains why you two were making out," He laughed a little.
"We weren't making out!" I protested.
"Hika-chan, we were totally making out," Akira added, looking towards me.
" 'Hika-chan?'" Akari giggled and asked me. I just rolled my eyes while pouting and refused to answer.
She looked around and got a text of her phone. She blinked. "Oh," she reread the text. "I guess I have to go." She looked up at me. "I'll see you later."
I nodded. "Parents?" I asked.
"Boyfriend, actually..." She looked down and shuffled her feet.
I laughed a bit, "You have a boyfriend too?"
She nodded slowly, but still didn't lift her gaze, "Yuki," She said with a small voice.
My eyes widened in surprise, "Hah, really?" She just nodded.
"I really have to get going," she tugged at her dog so he stood up and wiggled. "I'll see you around," And then she left. I let out a sigh and reached my hand towards Akira again. "Why'd you say lover?" I asked.
He grinned and placed small kisses on the top of my ear, which gave me chills, and replied softly, "Because you're my lover." He pulled back and added, "And I don't like hiding," in a hushed tone. I began to think this over. How did he do it? I would never know, I guess. But still, I found myself looking up at him and whispering, "Why?"
He just sort of smiled and ran his fingers through my hair, "Because," he gave the answer some thought. "Nothing anyone could say to insult us would ever be enough to bring me to the level of emotion I feel when I'm with you," He said it softly, like an unknown secret that he would tell me and me only. Like how I would tell him I had a ghost in my conscious for years.
"And I love you," He added after my silence, my look of awe up at him with thoughts flooding into my mind just from his sentence. I was trying to comprehend what he was saying, and fit it together, like a puzzle. Eventually this small gesture got me out of it, as I realized, There he goes again. I leaned up and kissed him so he wouldn't say that for a third time today.
We stayed in the park for awhile, just walking around absentmindedly until it was getting dark, and Akira asked if I'd like to come over for a game of go, and that he'd make sure not to let Tsusaki scratch either of us. I accepted and even though we were in public, even though people could see us, we held hands all the way to his house. On the station, down the sidewalk. His house was far away, and as we walked away from the station I took a breath and realized I could see it. It was cold. Winter was settling on Japan, but I'd never think it would get this cold. As Akira held put his palm on his freehand and little drops fell on it, I realized, it was snowing. Ever so gently through the side of Tokyo.