Beast Boy could barely believe it. She wanted to talk to him. A year after he had given up trying at all, she wanted to talk to him. He couldn't manage to do much more than stand there, dumbfounded -- and even after she'd grabbed his arms and pulled him down into a seat at an empty table, he still felt distant. To make sure this wasn't just a dream, he rubbed his eyes. "This can't be happening."

Brooke first had to tear her attention from the other superheroes, one of which she saw hold out his arm as if trying to keep the other three back. She saw him level a gaze at her, though she couldn't tell what it meant -- she never could. She briefly considered giving him the one-finger salute just so he would leave her alone, but decided against it and simply stopped looking at him.

"Terra..." the green kid started. She shook her head at him.

"It's Brooke. I'm not Terra--" And barely had the last word escaped her lips before Beast Boy cut her off.

"I know you're not. The girl I want you to be is just--"

"Not anymore." After a pause, Brooke wasn't sure whether or not she should laugh at Beast Boy's reaction; seeing him suddenly struck silent was kind of funny, after all. But instead, she kept talking. "I used to be Tara Markov, years ago. I used to be Terra. But now I'm Brooke Reynolds. It's my own name and my own life." She sighed, and for a moment there was silence between them. Beast Boy almost said something, but Brooke started talking again before he could even get through the first syllable.

"That's what I've been telling myself for three years. And I believed it. I mean, of course I did. If you can't believe yourself, who can you, right?" She laughed, a very tiny and nervous sound. "But lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I realized that... that maybe I miss my old life a little." Which was another lie; she was missing it a lot, but didn't want to appear desperate. She almost immediately saw Beast Boy perk up at that, and found herself speaking quickly while she explained it further. "I don't mean, like, living with you guys and being on the team officially, though. I'm still a high school student. I still want to finish high school and maybe go to college or something. But maybe," and she paused, having caught out of the corner of her eye the smile of an alien girl from a life long past.

"Maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world if I could just hang out with you guys from time to time? Maybe fight a crook or two sometime?" Though she already knew what Beast Boy's answer would be, she still wanted to hear him say something.

"Dude, I... of course you can!" She could practically see Beast Boy's spirits lifting, as if she just made his day impossibly better. "Guys, great news," he yelled back to the others, far too loudly for Brooke's liking.

"Ssh, not so loud," she warned, but it seemed to be a little too late. First had come the alien girl to join Beast Boy, then the biomechanical man, and at last the traffic light in tights. The only one not to come over was the one person Brooke in equal parts feared and wanted to make amends with.

A whirlwind of questions overcame her then, from "Is it true?" to "Why now?" to "Are you sure this is a good idea?", and not a single one did she have an answer for. She managed to buy herself some time, though, when she checked her watch, noticing just how close it was to the end of her lunch period. Sarah and Alison were probably already waiting for her.

She excused herself hastily, only to feel her stomach do a flip turn when she heard that voice that she once looked up to as her leader tell her to show up at the Tower after school. After an enthusiastic, if bewildered, nod, Brooke took her leave, having to refuse a hug from Beast Boy, and drove back to school (with her friends in tow) just in time for the end-of-period bell. For the rest of the day, even though she was smiling oddly, she managed to dodge every question asked of her, instead promising explanations later.

The explanations, of course, never came; she could never tell Alison or Sarah, much less her parents or Ms. Cisewski. She had to call home after the final bell rang and explain that she was going to be staying after school for a while, but of course, no one picked up. The message would get across one way or another, though, and she had bigger things to worry about. Feeling terribly formal and overdressed in her uniform, she walked her way to the edge of the bay, where she found the metal man she called her friend years ago waiting for her. After a short and quiet trip, the two of them joined the others.

"You're back." His voice was as full of disbelief as it had been at the pizza place earlier. He never changed, and she was thankful for that.

"I am."

"We need to talk." A stock response that sounded more human than she would have given him credit for under other circumstances.

"I figured."

"You want to be one of us again?" The mask narrowed with the boy's eyes. "Boy" was wrong by now. He was nearly a man. As she was nearly a woman.

"I thought it would be nice."

"But why now?" She was growing, too, and Brooke could tell. The girl she knew years ago would never have asked that.

"Sometimes I miss it. I miss the thrill. I miss the feeling I get."

"Have you even used your powers since then?" Like he would know anything about powers.

"No. Not once."

"Do you have to lie?" The sword of Damocles had finally dropped from its purple thread.

"...I'm not lying."

For once, she was met with silence. Only the never-changing shapeshifter broke it.

"I saw you." A broken voice. "We all did."

"...No." Disbelief. A natural reaction. "No, I was..."

"It's okay."

And quiet fell again while she gathered her thoughts.

"I didn't mean to. I wanted to be normal so much. I just... I've always had these powers, as long as I can remember, and it's hard to break old habits."

The wrong thing to say. "Why should we let you back on?" The edge was sharp.

"It's been years," Was she using contractions? Had it really been that long?

"I don't want to be back on permanently. I just want to fight with you every now and then. Or even just... get a chance to use my powers."

"If you want to be normal so much--"

"None of us are normal." He knew the truth of that the most of all.

"...If you don't want to be a superhero anymore, why do you want this? Why with us? What's so wrong with using the desert?" Of course, the analyst would pick it apart.

"I..." But an answer didn't come immediately. Thank god that one of them, her own personal rock to hang on to, held the other questions back until she could answer.

"I'm friends with Sarah and Alison, and with my teacher, but... that's really it. I don't have many other friends at school. You were the first friends I really had, and you're here."

"If you're counting on friendship, don't expect too much." Ouch. Another slice that did anything but cut the tension in the room.

Her leader stood as a dam to further questions now. When he spoke next, it was very much not a question of his own. "We'll find you when we've made our choice. Until then, be as normal as you can be."

Trying not to let those words sink too far into her skin, she turned. "I will."

Her walk back was accompanied by someone new and yet familiar. Someone she knew so well at one point and someone she wanted to know for the first time so desperately.

On the other side, his voice was just as quiet. "Be as normal as you want," he whispered to her. "We'll be in touch."

Unable to stop him or herself, her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders if only for all too short a moment, lifetime, eon. Two became one for that time, that fleeting year, month, day. Against the setting sun, the embrace broke, ending with a small piece of paper, three and four numbers written on it, being pressed into Terra's bare palm.

-RN-

Evening, dusk, night fell on the household. No phone rang that night. No outgoing, no incoming calls. No loneliness rang, either. Nothing but the words from earlier.

-RN-

Days, weeks, a month passed. Until the fields were green again, and most of the kids were sneaking nips all day to make their outlooks greener. Sarah and Brooke never considered themselves straightedge, but they were never people to get drunk anyway; Alison, however, was a different case; it may have only been a small amount, or maybe she could hold it particularly well, but regardless, she had been acting a little off all day. Looser. Calmer.

Sicker, too. The three girls again found themselves in the bathroom, this time with Alison in the stall and her friends outside.

"Happy St. Patrick's Day, I guess," Sarah said under her breath, well aware that Alison could hear. Raising her voice, "Guess that'll teach you to drink before you can handle it!"

A groan from the stall. "Not so loud. Someone'll... someone'll hear." Fortunately, she hadn't thrown up yet, but at this rate, it was only a matter of time.

"You'll be okay," Brooke reassured, trying to calm her down any way she could.

"Listen to Brooke. She knows what she's talking about."

Despite that she wanted to stay around and offer more comfort, a familiar nine-note ringtone sounded. "I'll... you stay here," Brooke said after a short pause, during which she parsed the number and had to force her voice and her heart back down her throat. "Make sure she's okay. I have to take this."

Brooke departed, leaving the two of them alone for a while. Luckily for Sarah, Brooke hadn't gone too far off. She could still hear at least half of the conversation.

"Hello?

"I... I am? Really?

"I didn't think she would, no. Heh.

"When can I come by?

"I'm busy today, but is over the weekend good?

"I'll see you then. I can't wait. Thank you so much. Tell everyone that."

Click.

"So, Brooke," Sarah said, tapping her on the shoulder. The blonde turned her head around, unable to conceal her ecstatic smile. "What's the big news?"

Brooke toned it down to a grin. Something nonchalant. Something unrevealing. Something fake. "It's a secret."

"You're keeping so many secrets from us lately." Sarah sounded, understandably, dejected. "When is it all gonna just stop?"

"Trust me, Sarah, you'll find out--"

"When? What happened to sharing our secrets with each other? What happened to friends forever, Brooke?"

Both girls shrunk back at that for different reasons, but after a pause, Brooke spoke. "I promise. I promise I'll tell you. But only when I'm ready."

-RN-

Thankfully, Sarah had believed those words, and as far as Brooke knew, would continue believing them for as long as it took. Alison had heard the same story and had accepted the terms only after being convinced by the other two. But with the solemn vow of the pinky swear their unspoken bond, the three had agreed. Brooke kept her promises. If there was one thing she was sure of, that was it.

Meanwhile, she had worked out an agreement with the Titans. One Saturday of every month would be spent hanging out with them at the Tower, using their facilities, be they gym, training ground, or just the gigantic television in the common room. One Saturday of every month, Terra would gather with four of her five former friends -- and only four. Always four.

Things continued that way for nearly a year. Her regular life, her real life, with Sarah and Alison and AP English and Calculus and Physics and even more Geology than she knew what to do with lived on with her promise. She smiled widely for her senior picture and put her arms out to get measured for her graduation gown, clean and empty white. And her goggles glinted in the mid-afternoon sun from barely a few feet off the ground, her knees already a faded but alive red from skinning them after being pushed off by lively and distant green hands.

The fissure she had made in her own life seemed impossible to span, and that was just the way she liked it. No one from school knew of her double life, though a single person from the other did.

A May afternoon. Lazy and lolling, the perfect type of day for not doing anything.

Terra was inside, facing four others. Always four. Only four.

"I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore."

"What? Why now?" The girl she hated to disappoint.

"I want to stay in school. My parents want to send me to college, and I want to go. I have a full scholarship and everything. A free ride."

"Are you sure this is what you really want to do?" The machine she hated to unplug.

"I do. I am. I really want to thank you all for doing this for me, but I have to move on. I can't keep doing this. I have to make a choice."

"For what it's worth, I think you're making the right one." The voice she hated to question.

"...What?"

"We... haven't been the same since you came back. We're growing up just like you have. I just got a call from Gotham the other day. Everyone else already knows, but... I don't think the Titans are going to be around much anymore."

"There's more heroes to take our place. More people that are younger. Better for the job. They're like the new generation." His organic eye winked at the red-haired woman.

"We have been training them for months now, making sure that they are ready for whatever the city may present to them." She blushed, directing her attention towards he who would soon be their former leader.

"The truth is that... the city doesn't need us anymore."

"It was much fun while it lasted, but... I will soon be accompanying Richard to Gotham. I do not know what Cyborg's plans are, but I trust he has some."

"I'm gonna go try to get a job at S.T.A.R. Labs... I think they could use someone like me, considering I'm half their tech."

This was a lot of information to take in; Brooke barely knew how to handle it. After a few blinks and fewer controlled breaths, she sighed. "I... wow. So I guess it doesn't really matter what I do from now on, if there aren't gonna be any Titans around."

Of the three shaking heads, the one adorned with red explained. "That is not true, Terr--Brooke. You will always be our friend. You have changed our lives simply by your presence, and we all wish you the best in what you may do." One smiled and two followed.

"Good luck in college, Brooke." A grin.

"Don't ever stop bein' my little rocker." A smirk.

"I won't. Thanks." A laugh and a smile.

-RN-

Three had dispersed, leaving one behind. One who had remained strangely silent throughout it all.

"So I guess this is it, huh?" The heart she hated to break, dropping the silence and shattering it.

"...Beast Boy, I love you, but--"

"But you have to go. I heard you." Curt.

Worry.

"No."

A head turning.

"I want you to come with me."

Silence again.

"It's just outside the city. And... I'm going for geology, but they... they've got a great acting program there. And I know how much you love that." Of course. She had to. After spending she'd lost count how many years with him, that was just one of the things she had picked up. "And you're a Titan. You'll get in no problem."

More silence.

"Beast Boy...?"

Three footsteps. Two arms. One word. Closer. Tighter. Softer.

"Garfield."

And three back. Four. Five.

"You have to do what you have to do. I don't know. I don't know yet." A week, a year, an eternity's pause in his words. "I love you, Tara."

And then.

Nothing.