Return to Gamestop.

AN: Okay, I did a third chapter. Alucard returns to the store and, this time, he brings Seras along. I might possibly do one more chapter if anyone's still interested in this. I've got an idea for a final chapter that actually covers Alucard and Seras's first online game. But that would be it.

It was night, two weeks after Alucard's purchase, when he returned to the store. This time Seras accompanied him. She did so in a rather futile attempt to keep him from going crazy and slaughtering everyone in the store. Yes, her master was angry, very angry. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy his game. He'd had a lot of fun killing the various creatures throughout the campaign mode, and Seras had even enjoyed playing alongside him. The two of them had not only beaten the game on Normal difficulty, but Heroic and Legendary as well. No, Alucard was not at all upset about the campaign experience, even if his lack of knowledge of the first two games did occasionally make following the third's story difficult. No, the problem was the multi-player that the store owner had promised him.

Alucard growled as he remembered the sales pitch. "Hundreds of thousands of victims, just waiting for you to kill them." Hundreds of thousands indeed. Every time I try to play the multi-player something pops up and says that it failed to connect to Xbox Live. What the heck is an Xbox Live, anyway? Even Police Girl didn't know. Well, I'm going to teach that man a lesson. No one rips off the No Life King and gets away with it. I wonder what he'll taste like?

Now, Master, remember your temper. If you just start eating London's citizens, Sir Integra's not going to be pleased. Let's give him a chance to explain. Maybe we did something wrong.

Like what? You hooked everything up yourself, and we've played through the campaign three times. Everything works fine. It's just the multi-player that won't work. What could WE have possibly done wrong?

The two reached the store, and Alucard flung the door's open without even bothering to touch them. Seras again tried to calm her master. I don't know; but let's, at least, give him an opportunity to explain before you start sucking down his blood. Sir Integra...

The fledgling's thoughts was interrupted by her master. Yes! I know all about my master's restrictions. Fine, I'll give the weakling human a chance to explain. Seras breathed a sigh of relief, but then Alucard continued, And then I'll eat him.

Seras mentally groaned. Master, you are impossible.

Alucard walked up to the counter. He gave the employee behind it a look that made the human quiver in fear. In a low, almost hushed voice Alucard asked, "Where is the owner?"

The employee suddenly felt very small under the large vampire's gaze. The human fiddled with his collar as he replied, "I'll... I'll go get him. You... You just wait here, okay."

"Make it fast."

"Ye... Yes, Si... Sir." And with that, the employee practically tripped over his own feet as he ran off to get the owner.

Less than a minute later, the man who had sold Alucard the Xbox emerged from the back room. Despite the reaction of his employee, the man seemed to be in a jolly mood when he spotted his previous customer. "Ah, Big Red. Good to see you again!" The man walked over and patted Alucard on the back. Seras closed her eyes. She half expected her master to rip the man's arm off and swallow it whole. And that was a sight that she could do without witnessing. The oblivious human continued, "Tell me, what brings you back to my humble shop? Are you enjoying the game?"

Alucard kept his tone neutral. "You said that I could go online and kill hundreds of thousands of people."

The man gave Alucard a slightly confused expression. He couldn't understand why his customer was reminding him of what he'd said. "Yes, that's right."

Alucard's voice dropped into a low growl. "I don't like it when people lie to me. I like it even less when they try to rip me off."

The man's eyes went wide as he finally began to understand the predicament he was in, and Alucard's hand slipped inside of his cote and gripped his Jackal. The man's hands went up in a placating manor. "Woe, Mac, hold on a minute. I didn't lie to you, and I certainly didn't try to rip you off."

The gun came out and was pointed at the owner's head as Alucard replied, "Then why can't I play the multi-player?"

Alucard had to give the man some credit. He wasn't begging for his life yet. In fact, the store owner's expression looked more akin to confusion than fear. The man was either in a state of shock, an obvious idiot or simply didn't care too much whether he lived or died, and the vampire wasn't sure which of these possibilities was the most likely. Maybe it was a mixture of the three? In any case, the man's reaction was just unexpected enough to persuade Alucard to listen to the store owner's next words, instead of simply pulling the trigger. "I... I don't know. Do you have high speed Internet?"

Alucard looked over the gun's barrel. "What?"

Seras answered, "Yes, Sir Integra has it."

The man's gaze shifted over to the beautiful strawberry blonde. He hadn't noticed her before, but now... Well, he couldn't help a "Wow!" from escaping his lips. Then the man shook his head and tried to remember what was going on. Oh, yes. Angry customer has a really big gun pointed at my head. Focus. Focus. "Did you connect the Xbox to the router?"

"Ah, no."

Through a supreme force of will, the man diverted his eyes away from the beautiful figure and back to the angry customer. "Well, that's your problem. Simply connect the system to the router and you'll be good to go."

Alucard lowered his gun. The man seemed genuine; and if he was telling the truth, then killing him wasn't really worth the hassle Alucard would get from Sir Integra upon returning to the mansion. If, on the other hand, the man was lying; it would be a simple matter to return later and blow his head off.

Placated, Alucard began to head towards the door. "Come on, Police Girl, we'll go try hooking up the Xbox to this router... thing." Th No-Life King turned to look back at the owner. "If it doesn't work, we'll be back." And then, the ancient vampire turned and resumed walking away.

Alucard was halfway to the door before Seras thought of something that stopped him dead in his tracks. "Master, wait a minute. Won't Sir Integra be upset by a long cord running from her office down to the basement?"

The No-Life King turned back around. Yes, that did sound like something that his master would take offense at. He looked back at the owner. "Anyway to hook the Xbox up to the router thing without using a cord?"

The man opened his mouth and started to reply, "Oh, of course..." But then he stopped himself as he thought and decided to ask a question before assuring the big red guy, with the very large gun, that he had something that would solve the problem. "This Integra..."

"Sir, Integra." Alucard somewhat threateningly corrected.

The man tilted his head slightly. "My apologies. Does this Sir Integra have a wireless router."

Alucard had no idea what a router was, much less a wireless one and whether or not his master's was one. The elder vampire looked over to his young fledgling. "Well?"

Seras locked eyes with her master and just stood there, motionless, for a moment. Her mind began to drift away. Oh, how she hated those eyes and the effect they had on her. She could only manage a wistful, "Well, what?"

Meanwhile, Alucard started to get upset. His fledgling's concentration was wandering again, and he hated it when that happened. And what was even worse was that he didn't understand WHY it happened either. One moment she'd be fine, then the next she'd just space out. In an attempt to understand why she did that, Alucard once read her mind while she was having one of her 'moments'. He'd never make that mistake again. All he'd gotten was elevator music, images of puffy clouds and a picture of himself riding a white horse towards her. So, he'd broken the connection before he'd had a chance to see anything else and simply concluded that his fledgling suffered from minor and temporary fits of dementia.

Alucard not quite shouted, "Well, answer the man's question!"

Seras shook her head. Her master's yelling had been enough to break her out of the trance. Now she just had to remember what was going on in the real world. "Right, Master. Uh... What was the question again?"

Alucard sighed. Out of all the virgins in all the world, why did I have to get stuck with an absent minded fledgling? "He asked if the router is wireless."

"Oh, yes. Right. Well, my laptop can get an Internet connection. So I guess it must be."

The store owner rubbed his hands together. "Good. Then I've got something that'll fix you right up. Follow me." Alucard followed the man to one of the store's corners.

While her master went off with the store's owner, Seras just waited by the counter. Then she overheard a couple of sentences that caught her attention. "Dude, I am so sick of being a vampire. At first I thought it would be cool, child of the night and all that, but that stupid being burned by sunlight thing and the vulnerability to fire are really getting old." Now, Seras wasn't intentionally trying to eves drop on the other customer's conversation, but she couldn't just let something like that go by. She carefully, so as not to attract attention, scooted a couple of feet nearer to the two talking teens.

"Would you stop complaining already. Look if you don't want to be a vampire anymore, just cure it."

"You can't cure it. I've tried every potion I can find or make. Nothing works."

Seras couldn't believe how open the two were being about vampires. Clearly they had no ties to Hellsing or its enemies. Though, to be fair, no one was that close to them. They were standing in the store's far corner. Seras was the closest, and she doubted that she'd have been able to make out what they were saying without her enhanced vampire senses.

The other teen chuckled. "You are such a noob. Just go to the count in Skingrad. He'll direct you to a woman that use to be a witch. Bring her five empty grand soul gems, and she'll agree to make the cure for you. Then all you've got to do is gather some garlic, bloodgrass, nightshade, Argonian blood and vampire ashes. Bring the ingredients to the ex-witch, and she'll mix you a potion that'll fix you right up."

"And that'll really work?"

The other teen grinned. "Trust me, I use to be a vampire too. Got infected while freelancing for the Order of Virtuous Blood. Vampire hunting has its dangers you know."

Seras scooted back over to the counter. She had no interest in getting too close to a professional vampire hunter, even if he was a freelancer. She did, however, make sure to memorize the man's instructions. If there was a cure, for vampirism, out there, she intended to have it.

While Seras was memorizing the ingredients to the supposed vampire cure, Alucard was looking at an accessory the store owner had handed him. "And this will let me play the multi-player?"

"Yes, as long as you have wireless high speed Internet and an Xbox Live Gold Account." This time the owner wasn't taking any chances. He was making sure he explained everything that would be needed.

"Xbox Live Gold Account?"

"Oh don't worry about that. You can set one up right through the Xbox. Of course, after the first month, you'll have to pay a little extra for the service. But trust me, it's worth it."

"How much extra?"

"Well, that depends on how you choose to pay. If you pay by the month, it's something like eight bucks per month. However, if you go to a store, you can by a one year card for only fifty. Your choice."

"I see. So first, I needed the system. Then I needed this wireless adapter, and now I need to buy cards. All this to play one game!"

The owner could tell that Alucard was getting upset again. "Well, no. Not just to play one game. There are hundreds of others that'll work with the same stuff. But I do feel a little guilty for assuming that you already knew about all this. Since you said you didn't know what an Xbox was, I guess I should of figured that you wouldn't know about the rest either. Tell you what, I don't normally do this, but once you buy the wireless adapter and get everything ready; I'll add a month to how long you can have to try everything out. So when your free subscription runs out, if you don't think it's worth the cost, just bring everything back to the store; and I'll give you a full refund." Alucard just eyed the store owner. He continued, "Think about it. If it's not worth it, you won't have lost one cent, and you'll still have gotten to play for a month."

Alucard reached into his pocket and pulled out his gun again, and the store owner saw his life begin to flash before his eyes. But then the No-Life King simply ejected the ammo clip. Smoke rose from the vampire's hand as he removed two of his bullets and handed them over to the owner. The man just stared at Alucard for a moment, and the vampire's face pulled into a sort of feral grin. "Do you accept silver?"

(Well, what did you think? Are you still enjoying this? Should I do one last chapter? Please Review and let me know. Thanks.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)

(To Dizzy: Thanks for the review. I'm glad that you enjoyed the humor and thought the story was "really fun so far". I'm sorry that the title and description turned you off. I've really had a had time whit those myself. I've changed the name of this fic something like five times since I first started writing it. And as for the summary: Well, I just couldn't think of any better way to summaries this one. Yes, Seras was kind of close with her guess, wasn't she? Ha. Ha. But not close enough.

To Hanna: Thanks for the review. I'm glad that you're enjoying this and think it's an "Insanely awesome fanfic." LoL. I hope you liked this chapter just as much.)